No candles for teachers? Why? And does this count

[Pigeon]

As the wife of a teacher, the sister of two teachers and the SIL of a few more, go for the Starbucks gift card. It will get used and appreciated. Even if you don't like Starbucks coffee, they sell juices and baked goods.

I've never heard a teacher say that gift cards are thoughtless. I have seen the aforementioned teachers throw out plenty of candles and similar gifts. They do appreciate the thoughtfulness, but have no use for the candles.

I don't know any teacher who actually eats homemade edibles.

If you think the gift cards are too impersonal, skip the gift altogether and give the best treat of all--a heartfelt note or letter thanking the teacher for what they do. Most of the teachers I know keep a file or notebook of these, and pull them out when they are having a bad day or feeling down.

 

[tlbwriter]

To me that extends to just about everything, not just decorations.

Well, I agree, it does extend to just about everything (sorry I misunderstood what you were saying earlier). You shouldn't assume people share your taste in anything. That's why I like the idea of a GC that allows for more general purchases, like Target or Amazon. But I think even a GC for a more specific place such as Starbucks is more likely to be enjoyed and appreciated than a gift of home decor.

 

[bumbershoot]

I have seen many people say candles are no nos for teachers. I make these

http://img0.etsystatic.com/il_fullxfull.273878040.jpg

This isn't my photo but this is exactly what I make (I make jewelry too but silver rings are quite expensive now).

Sounds like they take a while to make. Wouldn't you rather KNOW that the person is going to love it, instead of spending all that time merely *hoping* they will? What if next time you go to goodwill you see one of them there? How hurt will you be?

Because while I can see that many people would love that, I know that someone with my eyes wouldn't appreciate its beauty at all. Would be just another thing to dust and never use (b/c I don't burn candles anymore...and have tons of tealights just sitting in a box b/c I bought them 10 years ago when I did burn them).

I wouldn't give a candle as a gift personally. You don't know their allergies. I loathe candles of all forms (even though that is pretty!).

Yep.

... if she put in unscented tea light candles she wouldn't have to worry as much about the allergies another PP mentioned.

But a person with allergies might be sensitive enough that *burning wax* in her home might be a problem. It is for me! It's not just the scent problem, for some of us "canaries in coal mines" as I sometimes think of myself...

So sad when trying to give a gift becomes a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation.

I don't think anyone is damning anyone. When people *ask* questions about gifts on a discussion board, and some people say "oh please don't" they aren't *damning* anyone, they are giving an answer. Which was wanted by the questioner.

I highly doubt if teachers really care about getting *personalized* gifts; even if everything was highly thought out and based on the teacher's personality, at a certain point, it's going to start overwhelming their house!

If I sent DS to school instead of being his teacher, once I got used to the idea that we give gifts to teachers (not done at MY schools so it's mind-boggling to me, then again we were poor and my teachers were generally fairly awful so we couldn't, nor would we have wanted to, give gifts to them), I'd give a giftcard and have DS write a note to the teacher. Period.

 

[gk90]

I had to laugh a bit when I saw this thread because guess what I bought for my son's 3 teachers...

A store near us had $15 Yankee Candle sets on 75% discount so they were $3...When I saw them I absolutely knew what the teachers are getting this year! Of course they're free to regift them if they want. But they're a nice relatively light scent in a pretty gift box. DH is a teacher and I know that if he came home with them I wouldn't think "What a cheap parent" or "what a crummy gift" or anything like that even though I'm not a real candle fan.

As for the handmade candleholder, it's very pretty!

 

[AZMermaid]

Teacher here, 1st grade- but was 3rd grade until this year. I truly do appreciate any gift that is given to me. I write a thank you note to each child that day with the message to them "be sure Mom sees this too!"

My honest take on candles is they are nice and I do try to use them, but you do get a lot. I agree though that a handmade one is a lot more likely to get used than the latest Costco set! The lotions I keep, but I am not really a lotion girl. Eventually they get given to Goodwill for the most part- or a woman's charity. Mugs- eh, Goodwill. I don't drink coffee and hate clutter! But, I would never, ever tell a child or parent any of this in real life!

Gift cards are my favorite. I do give my husband the Starbucks cards generally. One year I got like $100 in Barnes and Noble gift cards. The next year, I wanted a couple of books, but I decided to wait until Christmastime for some gift cards- not a one to a book store! So, you just never know! I also had a kid one year who whenever he was naughty his mom would send me a $50 gift card to Trader Joe's. He was naughty a lot and it took me two years to use them all.

The craziest gift I ever got was one of those towel genie things that you wrap your hair in. I have used it a few times though- that, combined with the kid who gave it to me, is just a classic gift and actually one of my favorites because it was so out there!

 

[tlenzendorf]

I'm glad I ran across this thread and especially glad to see some answers from teachers about your likes and dislikes. I always struggle with this knowing that teachers get lots of the same things like candles, ornaments, etc. I have been doing Barnes and Noble gift cards lately. Even if the teacher don't read much themselves, I know that they can get a book for their classroom or get a movie, music, paper, etc.

This year is no different than any other year for debating what to get. I was kinda thinking of Walmart gift cards so they can get stuff for their classrooms. What do you teachers think about that? I'm not a huge Walmart fan, so I was debating if Target may be a better gc choice?

 

[crazelion]

I have seen many people say candles are no nos for teachers. I make these

http://img0.etsystatic.com/il_fullxfull.273878040.jpg

This isn't my photo but this is exactly what I make (I make jewelry too but silver rings are quite expensive now).

I had planned on giving dd's preschool teachers either one of these or a set of two (each cost me about 4$ but takes 3-5 hours to make depending. To purchase one is usually between 25-35 I personally don't sell them)

Are these ok as a gift to the teacher? It's either this or 10$ Starbucks gift cards. If it matters she has 2 teachers.

WOW I would love have receive one those hand made candles for Christmas when I taught pre-k.

 

[fakereadhed]

The candle holder is beautiful!

My mom was a teacher for 35 years. We all loved the gifts she got! My mom and I have opposite fragrance preferences, so if she didn't like it I got it. While she may not have been able to use every mug or candle every year, she knew the kids and parents thoughtfully chose each and every gift so she loved them even if she didn't keep them all forever.

Give what you choose and if they don't appreciate it, you aren't the unthoughtful one.

 

[Halbleib1]

Easy solution don't send anything in at all. Than you don't have to worry if it will fit their preferance or not. Gifts should never be an obligation. When I was in school only a handful of kids brought anything into the teachers and those that did mostly brought ornaments to put on the tree in the classroom. What the teacher did with it after the holidays I don't know but it was not a big issue either.

 

[Pigeon]

I'm glad I ran across this thread and especially glad to see some answers from teachers about your likes and dislikes. I always struggle with this knowing that teachers get lots of the same things like candles, ornaments, etc. I have been doing Barnes and Noble gift cards lately. Even if the teacher don't read much themselves, I know that they can get a book for their classroom or get a movie, music, paper, etc.

This year is no different than any other year for debating what to get. I was kinda thinking of Walmart gift cards so they can get stuff for their classrooms. What do you teachers think about that? I'm not a huge Walmart fan, so I was debating if Target may be a better gc choice?

I'm sure that just comes down to personal preference. Most of the folks I hang out with don't shop at Walmart and would prefer Target. If dh got a Walmart gc, we'd spend it (better they have to pay up than have it go unused) but we otherwise avoid Walmart for many reasons.

 

[spaceacewannabe]

I don't know any teacher who actually eats homemade edibles.

I very rarely do eat them, and even then only when I know the family well enough to feel confident in their safety and cleanliness...one exception to this was cupcakes a student made herself (seventh grade), and I had full confidence in HER, even though I don't know her parents.

If you don't know the teacher well, I would avoid them because you don't know about allergies/preferences and they don't know what your kitchen looks like. I hope no one takes offense---because there are other teachers from whom I would not accept edibles, either

 

[scra]

Give what you choose and if they don't appreciate it, you aren't the unthoughtful one.

I just feel the need to clarify a little at this. Even when I get edibles that I can't eat, which happens a lot because I try to limit processed foods and sugar, or home goods that are not to my taste, I appreciate the sentiment very much. It is a question of whether you want the recipient to merely appreciate the sentiment of your gift (which they will no matter what the gift is), or whether you want the recipient to both appreciate the sentiment and get use out of it. I absolutely appreciate any recognition I get for the hard work I put into doing my job well, and so do all the teachers I know - but it is just nicer to receive something I will use I am a practical person at heart I suppose.

If you are on a very tight budget but still want to express your appreciation, notes are some of the best gifts. In my three years at my current middle school, only one student (a very avid reader who spent all of his lunches in the library and checked out multiple books a week, was on my collection development roundtable council, etc) wrote me a note. It is the best thing I have received from a student!

 

[mrseace711]

I have 4 kids... 4 teachers, 2 fulltime teaching assistants in the younger 2 classes, 1 wonderful principle, and 1 super teacher who is the gym/music teacher she is ALSO the librarian AND then ends her days with running the afterschool program my children attend until I get off of work I<3 her! = 8 gifts. I purchased each a yummy scented hand sanitzer from Bath & Body Works for $1 ea. and a cute mug from Michaels with their initials also $1 which I plan on filling with Dove Chocolates. Then my kids and I were going to make stress balls out of balloons and corn starch for each teacher and maybe also making rice socks for heating in the microwave. We do not have extra $ for buying everyone a GC but would like to show our appreciation. After reading some of these comments and comments from other threads from both teachers and others I feel like maaaayyybe I would be wasting both mine and my childrens time for unappreciated & unwanted gifts? Maybe we should focus on making these items for a womens shelter?

 

[ceecee]

I think those are very pretty and do not fall into the candle catagory. Put some of those LED tealights with it and that would be a great gift. Ornaments used to be the thing along with mugs here. After 20 #1 Teacher ornamnets and mugs you have to understand.

 

[delmar411]

I have 4 kids... 4 teachers, 2 fulltime teaching assistants in the younger 2 classes, 1 wonderful principle, and 1 super teacher who is the gym/music teacher she is ALSO the librarian AND then ends her days with running the afterschool program my children attend until I get off of work I<3 her! = 8 gifts. I purchased each a yummy scented hand sanitzer from Bath & Body Works for $1 ea. and a cute mug from Michaels with their initials also $1 which I plan on filling with Dove Chocolates. Then my kids and I were going to make stress balls out of balloons and corn starch for each teacher and maybe also making rice socks for heating in the microwave. We do not have extra $ for buying everyone a GC but would like to show our appreciation. After reading some of these comments and comments from other threads from both teachers and others I feel like maaaayyybe I would be wasting both mine and my childrens time for unappreciated & unwanted gifts? Maybe we should focus on making these items for a womens shelter?

I'd think you could of gotten (8) $5 GCs for your children's teachers to Target and been good. You are already at $2.14 each before the chocolate and the other homemade items. And if you'd gotten the lego GCs, you could of kept the legos for your children and then used those GC to buy holiday themed GCs for the teachers. (which is exactly what I did so I know it works)

But I do think your gifts are thoughtful. I don't want you to think otherwise. I'm just speaking to the 'can't afford' it portion.

 

[ceecee]

I think those are very pretty and do not fall into the candle catagory. Put some of those LED tealights with it and that would be a great gift. Ornaments used to be the thing along with mugs here. After 20 #1 Teacher ornamnets and mugs I understand the candle issue.

 

[mrseace711]

I'd think you could of gotten (8) $5 GCs for your children's teachers to Target and been good. You are already at $2.14 each before the chocolate and the other homemade items. And if you'd gotten the lego GCs, you could of kept the legos for your children and then used those GC to buy holiday themed GCs for the teachers. (which is exactly what I did so I know it works)

But I do think your gifts are thoughtful. I don't want you to think otherwise. I'm just speaking to the 'can't afford' it portion.

I considered doing the $5 GC for Target, but then wondered if it was appropriate for all 8 listed... We had a ton of unused balloons and cornstarch as well as rice just would have needed to purchase a few packs of socks to fill up. I do wish I had skipped the hand sanitizer and mugs now =/

 

[Lucky'sMom]

The majority of teachers just do not want anything that collects dust. I have at least 4 close relatives that are teachers, and they just cannot use the mugs, candles, ornaments, etc. Please remember how many students they have and that they teach year after year after year. A $5 gift card is so much more useful if money is tight. Or, as one of the teachers here said, a thoughtful note from both you and your child would mean alot.

 

[IDoDis]

I think it might be nice to include the battery opperated tea lights with your holders. The teacher could then use them in her classroom.

There's a rule at my school that teachers are not allowed to use scented wax (scentsy) or burn scented candles in their classrooms. A couple of years ago, many of the teachers got into the Scentsy craze. Everyone was buying the burners and scents and burning them in their classrooms. The central air system carries these smells all over the school which was not good for people with athsma, people with allergies to scents, and for kids with autism.

I have never yet met a teacher who didn't spend some of his or her money on classroom supplies every single year. What I usually give is a GC to an office supply store that also sells classroom materials, except for those that teach primary grades preschool, where I give GC's to an actual teacher-supply store.

IME, the thing that little kids' teachers most want is fun manipulatives for the classroom, because they get lost and/or worn out and the school budget doesn't often stretch to covering them. True,, it's not a personal "fun" mad money sort of gift, but I figure that something that lets them teach more they way that they want to without having to go OOP to do it is always a good thing.

For custodial staff, cafeteria ladies (if your kid goes to the kind of school where they are regular employees and very close to the kids) and helpers at daycares, my go-to option is a supermarket GC. Most of those folks are not very well-paid, and everyone needs groceries.

While the thought is a nice gesture, people need to remember that teachers are people outside of their jobs, too. That's like giving your maid a mop for Christmas. The best thing you can do if you don't know the teacher's personal tastes enough is to get her a gift card to eat out, to Starbucks, or even a gift card to a movie theater. Something he/she can enjoy that is not work related.

My DH is also a teacher. One year his room mom called me and said she was taking up a collection to get him an end-of-year gift. She was going to get him a gift card to the mall. I said "No, he hates the mall. He's a guy! " She asked where she should purchase the gift card from and I told her Best Buy. He was beyond thrilled! Best Buy and Staples are his home away from home.

 

[a1tinkfans]

I have my flame suit on...

I have to say I am finding this thread rather DIStasteful at this point.
I mean goodness, isn't it "good enough" that a student/parent gifted rather than saying what a waste another Mug or candle or whatever. Talk about UNgrateful....Perhaps parents and students should just STOP giving...how about a handwritten letter to say thanks for being a great teacher, instead?
And how about More teachers sending home notes to Kids saying that they appreciate their hard work or creativity, something positive or whatever.... A Positive letter home...wonderful!
This thread has turned into that commercial where the UNgrateful girl starts singing about the gifts she does not want (like the needlepoint pillow from her aunt).
Sorry, but the "gift" is what it is.... something/anything to show appreciation rather than trying to give the "best" or most elaborate or most important needed item...seriously ...talk about distasteful....

And yeah, we have teachers in our family and not 1 that would be so DIStasteful as to say that they got a wasted pin or mousepad or mug or candle
....donate your unwanted items ...Im sure THAT person wont find it so offensive, perhaps even be grateful to have it .