No Alcohol at a Wedding?

[The Mystery Machine]

I have been to two. One was Mennonite and one was born again.

The Mennonite wedding involved a college buddy who dh worked with, who was marrying a high school student. I think she was a sophmore.

The born again wedding was my SIL/BIL's wedding and they included the entire passages from the bible that talks about obeying your man and other stuff. I forget the specific names of the passages.

 

[DWGal210]

I've been to both dry and not-dry weddings and I am fine with both. I agree with a PP - it's the bride and grooms decision, and honestly, I feel that if you can't have a good time without alcohol, perhaps you shouldn't go to the wedding if you think it would affect you that much. A good friend from college had a dry wedding because she doesn't drink (and the majority of her family doesn't drink either). We had a great time celebrating her special day.

I'm 50/50 on the cash bar thing. I do feel that if you invite someone to a party (which to me, a wedding reception qualifies as a party) you should pony up on the refreshments, alcohol and otherwise. BUT I have also been to weddings where people will drink themselves to an oblivion simply because it is free to them; since they're not paying for it, they order the top-shelf stuff, etc, and then the new couple and/or their parents have a giant bar tab. That in general bugs me - people who consume more than they would because it's not their dime.

 

[Geoff_M]

Ours had no alcohol. The ceremony and reception were in a Baptist church, so it was a given. While I don't mind weddings that serve alcohol, I don't understand the notion that there's anything "strange" or "wrong" with a dry wedding. Perhaps it's because I don't view a wedding as mainly a "party". I go to wedding to show support for the union of the couple, not because I want to dance the night away and drink.

 

[mjkacmom]

I've never been to one, although I did encounter a cash bar once, and another wedding with open bar during cocktail hour, wine on the table for the reception. I don't think it would bother me, but around here, every event has alcohol (we were encouraged to bring wine to our church's family bingo and pizza reception after the Stations of the Cross).

 

[Golf4food]

It's a wedding, not a bar. If you NEED alcohol to have a good time, you might have a problem.

 

[Justanopinion]

I didn't have alcohol at my wedding almost 9 years ago and the 5 or so weddings I have been to in the last 10 years have all been dry.

Most of the wedding and receptions have all been in churches though.

DH's dad is a pastor of a church, he has performed the cermonies for most of the weddings we've been to and he did our ceremony. His dad is also a recovering alcoholic.

I think our wedding is one of the few that wasn't at a church but we still didn't have alcohol as that's not what our familes enjoy.

Neither of our families have a lot of drinkers. None of our family events on either side have had alcohol at them.

Occasionally, I will take some alcohol to my mother's for our July 4th celebration, but even that is only every couple of years.

I think it could be a southern thing also. We are in the south.

 

[java]

Perhaps it's because I don't view a wedding as mainly a "party". I go to wedding to show support for the union of the couple, not because I want to dance the night away and drink.

See that's what I want to do! I go to the church to show support of the union. I go to the reception to PARTY!

 

[HunnyPots]

Ours had no alcohol. The ceremony and reception were in a Baptist church, so it was a given. While I don't mind weddings that serve alcohol, I don't understand the notion that there's anything "strange" or "wrong" with a dry wedding. Perhaps it's because I don't view a wedding as mainly a "party". I go to wedding to show support for the union of the couple, not because I want to dance the night away and drink.

My thoughts exactly.

Actually, I've never been to a wedding that did serve alcohol. It's just not the norm around here, as most weddings are held in churches and receptions have not yet become the overblown social events depicted on all those wedding shows on TV. We're still a cake and punch community!

 

[Geoff_M]

See that's what I want to do! I go to the church to show support of the union. I go to the reception to PARTY!

I understand, but it's usually a package deal... and I don't understand how a good time can't be had without serving alcohol.

 

[ahhappy]

I have been to one dry wedding. It was nice.

Interesting comments about open bar here too though. I didn't know it was considered rude in some places to not have an open bar for your wedding. I've never heard that. In our circle of friends and family I have seen a mix of people either having cash bar all night or open bar all night, or a combo.

Usually its a combo- open bar up until dinner is served and then cash bar after that. Our wedding was that way- except we also had wine on the tables for dinner, and hosted beer and pop all evening.

 

[pearlieq]

We didn't serve alcohol. Out budget only allowed for the reception to be held in the church fellowship hall, so we had a dinner buffet and dancing, but no alcohol was allowed. Luckily, we have fun and loving family and friends, and no one made us feel like there was any issue about it. We danced and laughed and had fun.

Fun people don't need drinks to have a good time.

 

[mamacatnv]

How many champagne toasts were there though!

It was "served" therefore everyone received 1/2 glass for the toast, that was it.

 

[Justanopinion]

I've been to many weddings. I would say about half had no alcohol and the other half did.

Most of the time, I had fun. The only times I didn't have fun was when the reception had no music (therefore no dancing), and there was only cake and punch. There have been a couple of weddings where it didn't really seem like a celebration at all, but more of a somber occasion.

I don't think alcohol is necessary to have fun.

I sorta agree with this. I mean sorta because I have been to receptions where I had a good time without music but I have also been to some that were more than boring.

There were 3 of us in the family they all got married within about a year of each other. DH's niece was first, her reception was fun although there was no music. But his brothers wedding, I don't know exactly why but it was more than boring. While we didn't have alcohol at ours, we did have a band and dancing and it was fun.

 

[Northstar]

Sure I've been to weddings where there was no alcohol. I've been to weddings where the reception was potluck, for that matter!

Yes, there were some guests bellyaching about that. But you know, even at big posh weddings with all the bells and whistles, there's always someone griping about some imagined shortcoming, or something they would have arranged differently. Gracious guesting is not an art that all have studied, I suppose.

 

[RadioNate]

I can not recall ever going to a dry wedding. I think every one has had some type of alcohol, even if it was just a Champaign toast. The only one I'm not sure of was an early morning wedding (9 am) then lunch reception in the dining hall of the Catholic college the couple attended. I'm not sure there was alcohol there. If there was it was just a toast. It was a lovely ceremony and was happy to support the couple (I traveled from Oregon to Indiana for the wedding on a 26k a year salary!) but boring reception. I'm not sure we stayed much past eating and cake.

I can have plenty of fun w/out alcohol. In fact I'm actually NOT a big drinker but to me weddings and an open bar go hand and hand.

 

[clarabelle]

Loads of no alcohol weddings here. It is not always the norm. Especially when I was growing up. Very common to have cake and punch in the fellowship hall of the church.

We did not have any at our wedding.
We couldn't afford it and we would have had to hire a guard if you did (we got married in a historical building)

I went to a wedding two weeks ago with no alcohol. It was a muslim wedding.

 

[Todd&Copper]

I was at one wedding that was dry. It was fine. I certainly didn't make fun of the couple or their families for planning it as a dry affair.

A purposefully dry wedding doesn't. The reason for the abstention of alcohol is irrelevant - if they wanted to keep costs low, if there are alcoholics invited, whatever. I honestly don't know what the reason was for this friend of mine. We weren't super-duper close, and while I know she drank in college, I don't know if she gave it up later or what.

I do resent a cash bar, though. To me, that is asking your guests to subsidize a party you want to have but cannot afford, which is tacky.

 

[pperfectmom]

Heck, the only way I can force myself to sit through a wedding ceremony is the prospect of booze afterwards. I have gone to some without, but will only do that for a close family member. And yes, the ONLY way I can have fun at a wedding is with alcohol.

 

[wowsmom]

My sister's wedding had no alcohol and I was fine with that. I don't go to weddings for the drinks, I go for the cake!

 

[EthansMom]

I'm originally from the West Coast where a lot of weddings, especially in more rural areas are cake/punch and don't usually include alcohol. I'm currently living on the East Coast, where guests might riot if no alcohol was served at a wedding reception.

I'm happy either way. IMO, it's far more important that the food and drinks served at a reception be tasty and filling enough for the time of day.

I am far more disappointed by being served inedible wedding cake and not enough food than if there's no liquor.

And yes, I have had discussions with friends and family about bad food/drinks at receptions. I've been to a reception where there was only champagne for the toast and dinner was a spaghetti feed... That one was great... so much fun and the food, served by elderly women of the church, was really quite tasty. I've been to a wedding where the couple spent a lot of money on showy-type stuff (expensive dress, performers during the ceremony, etc..) but served only cake and punch at the 12:30 p.m. reception and the very elaborate cake literally tasted like it was made out of sawdust... friends and I had to leave the reception early to go to McDs.