No Alcohol at a Wedding?

[PrincessKsMom]

As I said on the other thread, it's entirely up to the bride and groom. You don't want alcohol, that's fine with me (and I am a social drinker). I have been to a dry wedding and I will say that many at the wedding didn't give the same amount of money they would have at an alcohol-served wedding.

As for a cash bar, again, it doesn't bother me. What did bother me at the one reception we went to that was a cash bar, was that the bride and groom never told anyone it was going to be a cash bar, so not many people brought money with them. That, I thought, was tacky.

 

[Philagoofy]

Question about cash bar, if you have the reception in a resturant that has a bar and you are having a "dry" reception, but guests are able to go to the bar & buy drinks, that would be a cash bar, correct? Then, for there not to be a cash bar, does that mean there is no alcohol anywhere on the premises, free or otherwise?

 

[pearlieq]

I don't go to weddings for the drinks, I go for the cake!

Me too!

 

[koolaidmoms]

Our wedding 13 years ago was dry. We did it because we had an outdoor ceremony and reception at a park 30 minutes away. I did not want to take responsibility for everyone driving home afterwards (lots of drinkers in IL family) and having someone get hurt or hurt someone else.

I have seen some serious trainwrecks at weddings with alcohol - father of the bride falling and taking out a row of dancers, brides throwing up because they drank too much champagne and didn't eat all day and very poor judgement of a bridesmaid and a groomsman on display in a pool where everyone could see them.

Either way as long as everyone is there to celebrate and does so while keeping in mind the spirit of the day - celebrating the couple alcohol or dry should be up to the couple throwing the party.

 

[MariDisney]

Dh and I were recently at our first no alcohol wedding. Neither of us are big drinkers, but we really did miss having our few drinks very much. I understand the couple had religious reasons for not serving alcohol, and of course that is their choice. But, we would have enjoyed the event more if it were served.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

I have been to two. One was Mennonite and one was born again.

The Mennonite wedding involved a college buddy who dh worked with, who was marrying a high school student. I think she was a sophmore.

The born again wedding was my SIL/BIL's wedding and they included the entire passages from the bible that talks about obeying your man and other stuff. I forget the specific names of the passages.

I, personally, would have been very uncomfortable at the Mennonite wedding. Actually, I don't even know if I would have gone.

 

[XTinabell]

I have only been to one dry wedding, the couple were 18 years old so most of the guests were young. After the dinner, majority of the guests left and went to the bar, no joke. I however stayed and danced and had a great time but there were only a few of us, I felt so bad for the bride and groom but they didn't seem to mind.

 

[NMAmy]

We had no alcohol at my wedding. We got married at 11:30 am in our home--we served lunch but had no dancing. We also requested no gifts so I have no idea if the lack of alcohol would have had an effect on the amount of loot received.

 

[pearlieq]

Question about cash bar, if you have the reception in a resturant that has a bar and you are having a "dry" reception, but guests are able to go to the bar & buy drinks, that would be a cash bar, correct? Then, for there not to be a cash bar, does that mean there is no alcohol anywhere on the premises, free or otherwise?

Not exactly. If you were having a wedding at a restaurant's party room and were choosing not to serve alcohol, even though there was an operating bar in the restaurant, I wouldn't consider that a cash bar unless guests were specifically told "Hey, if you want drinks you need to go buy them at the bar".

If they're just having a party and ignoring the restaurant bar and serving non-alcoholic drinks, that's just a dry party and perfectly acceptable. Heck, in that situation I'd actually find it rude if guests took it upon themselves to wander down to the bar to buy drinks and bring them back to the party.

When I think of a cash bar I think of a bar in the party room/area with a bartender available and list of drink prices posted. That's a cash bar and it's tacky, tacky, tacky.

 

[MariDisney]

On the subject of a cash bar...I feel it is the height of tacky. I always feel that when you host an event you foot the bill. It's rude, IMHO, to invite people and then ask them to pay their own way. I'd much rather have an event with just wine or even just soft drinks. Once, dh and I were invited to a wedding that had a cash bar and we didn't know ahead of time. We literally had about 5 dollars cash on us, and we couldn't pay with a card. Even the soft drinks were cash. So, we could only afford 2 sodas or something. We left that one early because we were so thirsty.

 

[jrmasm]

Most of the wedding I've been to have served alcohol. But a dry wedding is perfectly fine too.

But I have to agree with the other posters about cash bars. Tacky! If drinks are not in your budget I can respect that but don't offer me something and then expect me to pay for it.

 

[horseshowmom]

I have never been to a wedding that served any type of alcohol. I haven't been to a lot of weddings, but I don't think that is the norm here.

Similar situation here. I've only been to one wedding that did have alcohol. Most of our circle of friends and family don't drink. DD's wedding in June won't have alcohol. There will be several options for liquid refreshment, but none of them will be alcoholic.

My thoughts exactly.

Actually, I've never been to a wedding that did serve alcohol. It's just not the norm around here, as most weddings are held in churches and receptions have not yet become the overblown social events depicted on all those wedding shows on TV. We're still a cake and punch community!

I really wish it were still that way around here. While we're not up to the $100 and $150 a plate costs, comments are made about those who choose to serve just cake, punch, etc. I think it's sad because a lot of people feel pressured to spend more than they reasonably should on a wedding (and the reception costs are a huge part of the total). In our case, we're having an afternoon wedding and will have a large buffet of finger foods and sweets along with the traditional cake and punch. It should be very nice without breaking the bank.

 

[mjkacmom]

My thoughts exactly.

Actually, I've never been to a wedding that did serve alcohol. It's just not the norm around here, as most weddings are held in churches and receptions have not yet become the overblown social events depicted on all those wedding shows on TV. We're still a cake and punch community!

Your post does come across condescending to other regions - not sure if you meant it to. I would never post "of course my reception had an open bar, unlike those frugal, boring southern wedding in the church basement."

 

[MushyMushy]

I've been to more dry weddings than I have been to ones that served alcohol. Most of my extended family are non drinkers, so it was natural for the weddings to be dry.

Of my friends, I'd say half were dry. My wedding was open & cash bar (limited open bar).

I never ridiculed the bride and groom either way, nor have I ever ridiculed them for whatever choices they've made, although I did get irritated with one of my friends who became quite the bridezilla. That's a different story altogether though.

 

[MushyMushy]

On the subject of a cash bar...I feel it is the height of tacky. I always feel that when you host an event you foot the bill. It's rude, IMHO, to invite people and then ask them to pay their own way. I'd much rather have an event with just wine or even just soft drinks. Once, dh and I were invited to a wedding that had a cash bar and we didn't know ahead of time. We literally had about 5 dollars cash on us, and we couldn't pay with a card. Even the soft drinks were cash. So, we could only afford 2 sodas or something. We left that one early because we were so thirsty.

Maybe it's rude where you live, but it's not that way everywhere. I've been to both -- mostly the open bars were in the eastern part of PA and in Ohio. Cash bars are fairly common around my town.

My wedding was open then cash, but everyone knew it in advance -- soft drinks were free, just not alcohol after that. My side of the family doesn't drink, but my husband's does. So my parents made a nice compromise by paying for a certain amount and then leaving the rest up to the guests. The party hall actually suggested this and said that a lot of people opt for that.

 

[johnlal]

Inspired by the No Children...thread. Have you ever been to a wedding that did not serve alcohol? Was it a disappointment? Did you secretly ridicule the bride & groom for their choice? Did you have a good time anyway?

I have found that guests at "dry" wedding receptions often disappear into the parking lot and return.

 

[Jenvenza]

I cannot imagine ridiculing someone for not having alcohol at thier wedding - unless I was an alcoholic!

Both my husband and I drink on occasion, but did not have any alcohol at our wedding because we were married in a Buddhist Temple and they did not allow it there. Didnt bother us or anyone else.

 

[Philagoofy]

I have found that guests at "dry" wedding receptions often disappear into the parking lot and return.

With a bigger smile on their face than before.

They always seem to have forgotten something from the car, over & over.

 

[Philagoofy]

skip this-double

 

[disneystacy]

I have never been to a wedding without alcohol being served. It would not bother me in the least if alcohol was not served. I do find cash bars tacky though.