New TTC Thread

[skuttle]

Courtney...Sounds like everything went great! How many are you planning on transferring? I hope things continue to go well!

Kurby...I'm so glad you were able to see your Dr today about your bleeding. Please continue to take care of yourself.

I received my cheap OPKs and HPTs in the mail today. I was so excited!! When I opened the package and DH saw all of the sticks, he thought I was nuts. LOL! I have 30 OPK and 20 HPTs. I'll be busy this month. It works out perfect because I wanted to start testing on CD10, which is today! Not much else going on...just waiting until Friday for my first scan. I did snap last night at the dogs...they were play fighting (they are 6 months old) and it just got to me last night. DH blames the clomid. I guess I will, too, since I can.

 

[si-am]

Courtney-- glad it went well! When do go back in to have them implanted? (Sorry, don't know much about IVF!)

As for me, AF started Monday, which means the spotting I had last week was really weird and abnormal. My cycles are like clockwork every 28 days, so I'm not sure why I've had two super short ones in the past three months. Stress?

Also, my best friend just told me she's pregnant. She's been off the pill for.... 2 months, and not even really trying. I didn't even know she was off the pill! She always said she didn't want kids. Anyway, she told me she was dreading calling to tell me the news. So now I'm just green with jealousy (and I hate myself for feeling that) but I also feel terrible that I've turned into "THAT person" who people feel like they need to tiptoe around. I want to be happy for her, and I guess I am on some level, but I'm so MAD about it, too.

I am doing a little wallowing in self-pity, though, honestly. I don't have a single female friend now who doesn't have a young child or who isn't pregnant. I guess that's what happens when you reach mid-30s because aren't you supposed to have kids by now, really? I just feel so alone and depressed and sad right now. I really hate what infertility has done to me-- I hate that it seems to be consuming every part of my life!

Oh well-- at least I have this thread to vent on!! I know you all understand.

 

[skuttle]

Si-am, Big A couple of years ago, my BBF#1 got pregnant with #2. She got pregnant quickly with both of her children. I didn't handle her pregnancy well at all. I vented about my feelings to my BFF#2. Earlier this year, BFF#2 tells me she is pregnant. She went through BFF#1's pregnancy with me, so she knows how hard it was for me. She has been super careful about telling me anything re her pregnancy. She hardly mentions it to me. She lives in Florida so I rarely see her in person. I think she has walked on eggshells around me much more than BFF#1 during her pregnancy because BFF#2 heard me complain and cry and just get so bitter and angry during BFF#1's pregnancy. I think most of us on here are "THAT person" to at least one person in our lives.

I agree that TTC does consume you. Everything has to be so timed and planned, it's hard for it not to consume you. Even after 3 years of TTC #2, I still get angry and bitter and jealous...towards complete strangers! It's embarrassing really. I try my best to remind myself that they could have been just like me, but that never gets me far.

I haven't even really planned for or gotten excited about our 10th anniversary WDW trip. We have the cruise portion booked, but I haven't booked the WDW part. I haven't done much research on the cruise even though it'll be our first time on DCL. Our cruise is booked for June 2010. I'm secretly hoping that we have to cancel due to having or newborn or me being 7-9 months pregnant.

One of the paralegals at work thought she was pregnant, but ended up not being pregnant. Now she thinks she wants another baby...her kids are in middle school. Her office is across the hall from mine. If she gets pregnant before I do, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I guess I'll just keep my office door shut any time I am in the office. I managed to fake interest in one of the secretary's new granddaughter and even my secretary's new granddaughter. I ask questions about them and oooh and aaahh at pictures because I know that's what "normal" people do. Plus, it's not in my face every day, so I can suck it up. But if this paralegal gets pregnant, and it's in my face every day...

TTC is tough. What makes it even tougher is that no one can truly understand all of the crazy emotions we go through unless they have experienced the pain of infertility as well. I remember thinking my DH's cousin, who could not conceive, was nuts when she stopped coming to family gatherings because another cousin was pregnant. We talked about how silly that was and how selfish she was being. Now, I totally understand her actions because I've felt them myself to some degree.

I never judge or question how someone decides they need to handle their grief when someone dies. I think TTC is the same. There's no right or wrong way to handle the emotions of it all.

Never feel bad about how you feel. And you are definitely not alone!

 

[WDWAurora]

I heard from the embryologist around 11:30 this morning. They were able to use ICSI (I think that's where they put the sperm directly into the egg) on all 7, and 6 fertilized! I think that's pretty good. She won't check them at all tomorrow (I guess the embryos don't like to be disturbed?) and she'll call between 7 and 7:30 on Friday morning to let me know if they are transferring on Friday or Sunday. She said they would prefer Sunday due to my age? Not sure what that's about. Anyway.

I guess things are good for now.

si-am: Rough week. Wallowing helps sometimes. Infertility does consume every part of your life, for sure. I've considered at various points the possibility of changing career paths so I'm not around children. I know I can't escape them, or pregnant women, so I always eventually come to my senses.

 

[D&DDisney]

Si-am : Can totally relate to what you are saying. Infertility just plain sucks!

Aurora - Yeah on the 6 fertilized! Wish you soooo much luck with this. Either way, it is wierd to think that technically, you are parents to 6 "little ones" right now. Wouldn't it be cool to if you ended up with sextuplits???? We'd all come over to help you for sure.

Kurby - glad you went to the Dr. Please keep us updated.

 

[vettechick99]

to all of you who are dealing with infertility. It took us 7 cycles to conceive DD2 and I was starting to go batty! I remember getting really frustrated, especially when my BFF gets pg twice on the first try. Some people don't realize how lucky that is! But we all have something special about us that we take for granted. Maybe we should remember we have it easy in some areas, and also be grateful for those.

I am 8dpo and started feeling those tingling sensations in my lower belly yesterday. That happened when I was pg with DD so I would love for that to mean I'm implanting. I guess I'll test on Saturday. But I could be reading too much into it all. I tend to overanalyze everything. I guess that's why I loved writing trip reports.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

I am 9+1/2 weeks pregnant. I have been holding back on saying anything because I felt like if I spoke about it it would get taken away from me.
I have been totally irrational and have been going through a very anxiety laden couple of months. I had an ultrasound at 7 weeks and there is a baby...with a heartbeat...that's a good start. I have another scan scheduled for 11 weeks and I thought I would be okay til then. Not. I had a big anxiety attack on Tuesday night that continued into yesterday to the point where I was freaking to the point of throwing up. DH was very concerned something bad was going to happen to me or the baby if I kept it up. I got in for an ultrasound and everything is fine. Baby is still there and has a normal heartbeat.
The doctor has me on progesterone 2x/day and a baby aspirin a day. The aspirin I take orally...the progesterone..not so much...LOL It goes somewhere else and I need to sit for a good while to make sure it all doesn't leak out (TMI!).
Don't ask me for a due date...I am only dealing with this one day at a time. I don't know my "date" as I have asked the doctor & midwife to not tell me. I know I have 30.5 weeks to go right now and I have to get through this day after day and try to be sane.
We leave on vacation tomorrow so that should take my mind off of things somewhat for a week or so. Then when we come back I am right back at work so that will help too.
I was on 150mg of Clomid when I conceived. Options and time were running out for me.

I know it is hard to read about this for everybody stuck in the "groundhog day" (ever seen the movie?) of fertility. Same frickin' nightmare month after month. I have been there reading about other people's fortune and have been happy for them but it still stings a little.

I will be thinking of all of you while I am gone and am hoping for some good news especially from Aurora!

I can't leave this group and move onto anything else. I am just not comfortable doing that as I feel like I don't fit in. Unless people have been through what DH and I have been through then it is hard for people to relate and I get irritated with that. Plus I don't need to hear about other people's pregnancies...how horrible is that?

 

[mickeyboat]

Oh Kiki -

I am keeping all my digits crossed for you. Thank you for sharing your good news with us. I am so happy for you.

 

[D&DDisney]

Oh Kiki - I am so happy for you, but know exactly what you mean about being cautious. Take it day by day and we'll listen day by day. We'll be here for you no matter what. I agree about not graduating to another thread. You are more than welcome to stay as long as you want.

It is good to hear that 150mg of clomid worked for you. Dr. told me that I could do that when I am ready. I'm probably closer to the finish line than you so my time is REALLY running out. Not sure I am ready to take what might or might not happen. So scared, but moving closer to trying again. Maybe soon.

 

[hotveggy]

I am 9+1/2 weeks pregnant. I have been holding back on saying anything because I felt like if I spoke about it it would get taken away from me.
I have been totally irrational and have been going through a very anxiety laden couple of months. I had an ultrasound at 7 weeks and there is a baby...with a heartbeat...that's a good start. I have another scan scheduled for 11 weeks and I thought I would be okay til then. Not. I had a big anxiety attack on Tuesday night that continued into yesterday to the point where I was freaking to the point of throwing up. DH was very concerned something bad was going to happen to me or the baby if I kept it up. I got in for an ultrasound and everything is fine. Baby is still there and has a normal heartbeat.
The doctor has me on progesterone 2x/day and a baby aspirin a day. The aspirin I take orally...the progesterone..not so much...LOL It goes somewhere else and I need to sit for a good while to make sure it all doesn't leak out (TMI!).
Don't ask me for a due date...I am only dealing with this one day at a time. I don't know my "date" as I have asked the doctor & midwife to not tell me. I know I have 30.5 weeks to go right now and I have to get through this day after day and try to be sane.
We leave on vacation tomorrow so that should take my mind off of things somewhat for a week or so. Then when we come back I am right back at work so that will help too.
I was on 150mg of Clomid when I conceived. Options and time were running out for me.

I know it is hard to read about this for everybody stuck in the "groundhog day" (ever seen the movie?) of fertility. Same frickin' nightmare month after month. I have been there reading about other people's fortune and have been happy for them but it still stings a little.

I will be thinking of all of you while I am gone and am hoping for some good news especially from Aurora!

I can't leave this group and move onto anything else. I am just not comfortable doing that as I feel like I don't fit in. Unless people have been through what DH and I have been through then it is hard for people to relate and I get irritated with that. Plus I don't need to hear about other people's pregnancies...how horrible is that?

I know that I wasn't on this thread for too long- but I just wanted to say that I know how you feel. I too had 2 miscarriages and when I finally went passed 8 weeks with my last pregnancy- I was very scared. I was also on progesterone (suppository, but only once a day) and also a baby asprin- not sure which one helped me to have a sticky baby or if it had nothing to do with either- but something worked. Take it one day at a time and look at it as each day as making it closer to meeting your little one.

good luck and i'll be thinking about you and sending you good sticky baby vibes.

 

[WDWAurora]

kiki-I understand completely. I'm so glad to hear that everything's going well so far!

Thanks for the good wishes guys. I'll update at some point tomorrow when I know something. I started my progesterone injections last night. DH is giving them, and they may kill me. kiki-I wish I was still doing the suppositories! I used to give those at night. I'm going to ask about using those when we travel next weekend. Otherwise, we'll have to find somewhere to give a shot on the road. With the sub-qs, that wasn't a big deal, but these are too big of shots to give without good positioning. I iced before, and the pain during last night and tonight wasn't so bad, but I have been SO SORE today! Tomorrow it'll be double sore. I also started a baby aspirin and a steroid.

I hope there are still 6 embryos tomorrow!

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

WDW Aurora

I am so excited for you!
I have kept up with this thread for a few months now. I am not TTC, but we adopted internationally-twice.

 

[skuttle]

Kiki! Congratulations!! I also know how you feel. It's a shame that TTC beats us down so much that when we actually get pregnant, we can't even enjoy it. I hope things continue to go well and you are able to enjoy your pregnancy!

Courtney...Yay for the 6 embryos!! How many will you have transferred? Those shots sound like they are lots of fun.

 

[WDWAurora]

Based on the charts, the most they would transfer for my age would be 2, and if there are that many left tomorrow or Sunday, whenever this happens, I'm asking for 2. I just don't see the point in only doing 1, if that makes sense. I think I could tolerate the shots and my residual cramping better if I could just take a bath! I hate showers-I've always been a bath girl. 5 days with no baths (or other activities-to which I said "DUH"). It also meant I couldn't go to the pool with my cutie nephews tonight. Bummer!

 

[skuttle]

Courtney, I would do at least two as well. I wasn't sure if you would do 2 or 3. I think 3 would be my max, but then I wouldn't really want all 3 to take. DH would probably not do more than 2.

 

[WDWAurora]

Ok, so the transfer is today. I have one absolutely perfect embryo. One died out, and one is distorted or something. They are transferring another embryo that is 5 cell (they prefer 6) and I have two 4 cells that they're going to take to blastocyst phase and hopefully freeze. I was literally shaking waiting for them to call, especially since they called half an hour later than they said they would. I'm finally somewhat calm, and I've changed out of my work clothes (actually into the same comfy outfit I wore on Tuesday-nobody saw it). I've eaten, and apparently I need to start drinking mass quantities of water. I'll have to leave here around 9:20-9:30. Plenty of time to continue getting anxious!!

 

[skuttle]

Yay Courtney!!! Pretty soon you'll be one of the pregnant girls I am cursing while sitting here waiting for my follicle scan!

 

[D&DDisney]

Ok, so the transfer is today. I have one absolutely perfect embryo. One died out, and one is distorted or something. They are transferring another embryo that is 5 cell (they prefer 6) and I have two 4 cells that they're going to take to blastocyst phase and hopefully freeze. I was literally shaking waiting for them to call, especially since they called half an hour later than they said they would. I'm finally somewhat calm, and I've changed out of my work clothes (actually into the same comfy outfit I wore on Tuesday-nobody saw it). I've eaten, and apparently I need to start drinking mass quantities of water. I'll have to leave here around 9:20-9:30. Plenty of time to continue getting anxious!!

Yay Courtney!!! Pretty soon you'll be one of the pregnant girls I am cursing while sitting here waiting for my follicle scan!

 

[skuttle]

Omg I have a 20 already! Iui tomorrow!

 

[momsully]

Aurora - Good luck with the transfer today!

Allison - Woo hoo! What cycle day is it for you this time? I think it would be great if you and Courtney were pregnant together!

Kiki - Congratulations - I know how you feel. I wish I had the courage to try the Clomid again but it made me into a monster and I can't do that to my husband and boys.

D&D - Glad to see that you are thinking of trying Clomid again.

This is a hard month for me as if I had carried my last pregnancy to term that little girl would be one this week. I really feel like I am running out of time as I will be 40 in October.