New kitty - old kitty really mad - help!

[Jane E.]

We just adopted the cutest kitty yesterday. WE've been wanting one for awhile. Our 10 year old lab mix mutt has arthritis and our 16 month old cat who is now officially an indoor cat has no one to play with.

When we brought the new furbaby home yesterday we allowed both animals to see her being brought home in the cardboard box. Then we ushered the dog outside with a bone. We put the new kitty on our bed. Our old kitty came in and hissed 6X before we removed her.

We let the kitty hide out in our room for the past 24 hours but now I've got her in a cage in my office while I'm working on the computer. Our lab mix mutt is laying next to the cage, fascinated. Our cat is hiding around the corner. When she comes by she hisses at the new kitty and anyone else who cares to listen.

Does anyone have any suggestions, encouragement, HELP? I'm tired - new baby didn't sleep much, and I worried about her adjustment into our home. When we adopted her the animal shelter said sometimes it takes awhile. Has anyone been thru this before?

 

[LittleDino]

Hang in there.

When we brought home our 2nd adopted cat, both cats hissed at each other for 3 days. Then for the next couple of weeks they would "look" at each other but didn't get too close. Eventually they figured out that neither one of them is going to leave, so they learned to live with each other. Now both of my kitties are buddies.

Give it a few weeks. They'll learn to like each other. And give kitty #1 some extra attention, even if he/she's giving attitude. Kitty #1 could be confused, angry and jealous right now and doesn't understand just yet that kitty #2 is their new playmate. Good luck!

 

[DVCLiz]

We got a new kitten for Christmas in 2003, and then two years later we got another kitten at Christmas time in 2005, so our girls are two years apart. It took about two weeks for old kitty to come around, but now they are best best buddies. They are asleep together right now on the sofa, and in a little while they will wake up and have a big lickfest. That might turn into a play fight - it does sometimes, or they will go find toys to chase or they'll chase each other. It's a busy life!

If they've been apart for a week at the vet's while we are on vacation, big kitty will sometimes hiss a few times at little kitty once they get home. They just need a few minutes to acclimate to each other again!!

 

[Robinrs]

Did your shelter tell you to keep them separate for a week? I was always told that.

I've had multiple cats for years and YES, it takes time. I always keep the new cat in a separate room for a week and let them sort of sniff each other thru the door before a formal introduction.

Let them get to know each other on their own. Cats are territorial and do not like sharing their habitat unless it's on THEIR terms.

Like people they all have their own personalities. Some get along immediately while some NEVER get along. I had two cats for 15 years that NEVER liked each other. The younger one seemed to want to get along with the older one but nothing doing, she was just evil to the little one. When she died 15 years later, I adopted a kitten who was just loved and catered to by the one who the old cat hated!! They are all as different as siblings!

Good luck! It is an experience with kitties!

 

[horseshowmom]

We've added newbies several times. Sometimes it works out fine in just a few days, but once our older cat refused to come out of our room for two weeks (except to go to the litter box or eat - and she was mad then! ). She got over it.

 

[azgal81]

We just added a new kitten a month or so ago our other cat is one and a few months. We went with the put the cats in front of each other and let them sniff it out approach. There hissed at first but that wore off after they got done sniffing each other for awhile. They are best buds know they follow each other around it's the cutest thing. They still wrestle which worries me a little bit but apparently that's normal. Maybe try engaging them in a activity together and show them equal attention you don't want to make the older cat mad. The older cat is probably just jealous and needs some more time to get used to things. Don't worry they will learn to live with each other!

 

[Toby'sFriend]

my best advice is
unless there is blood flying, let the animals work out their own relationship without your interference, especially the cats with each other. They will sniff around at each other alot for a couple of days and there will be some hissing and swatting. That is all perfectly normal and ok. They are just deciding on the new social structure of the house.

 

[chyam]

my best advice is
unless there is blood flying, let the animals work out their own relationship without your interference, especially the cats with each other. They will sniff around at each other alot for a couple of days and there will be some hissing and swatting. That is all perfectly normal and ok. They are just deciding on the new social structure of the house.

This is how I do it too..........I have added 2 newbies in the past 6 months, and the rest of the house (4 others) range in age from 19 years to two, there is always a little hissing and spitting but I have also found it is alot easier to add a kitten to the mix than an older cat (but it always seems to work out, just a little easier with a kitten) I think once they become accustomed to one another and the hierachy is established all is well. Good luck........I am positive the hissing and spitting will cease once they really get to know one another.

 

[CathrynRose]

I grew up in a house which always had cats. Always. Years of being exposed to these furry guys, when I already had allergies, created SUPER-ALLERGIES which means I cant even walk into a house without***wheezing*** within seconds.

But - again, having grown up with them. The original cat will always hiss at the new one. And it might be for awhile. They just need some time. My mom always said - hissing is fine, as long as they dont get nasty. And usually it's just hissing. Like a "Get the heck away from me....jerk!" hissing. Kinda -layin' down the ground rules- if you will.

They come around in time. We only had ONE time when a cat didnt, and it was an adult cat we tried to bring in. Had a bit of an attitude <ahem> She was the problem. Not the original(s).

 

[jacksonsmom]

. Has anyone been thru this before?

OH YES!!!!!

We had two cats, Charlie and Rusty. Charlie got sick and we had to say good-bye to Charlie
Anyway, Rusty never seemed to 'get over' not having his best friend around, so I thought I would be nice and get him a new friend. This was about 8 months after Charlie died.

Well, Rusty (age 7) did not like that idea of a "new friend"
As we brought Herbie into the house in a cat carrier, right away Rusty let us know what he thought of the "new friend"

I never seen Rusty so mad and angry not just at the kitty but at us too! He hissed and decided to hide.
Every time Rusty set eyes on the new kitty he would hiss, even if the kitty was across the room.

I was told give it a few weeks. To try to make it easier on Rusty during the night and when I was gone for periods of time, I would put Herbie in a private room and let Rusty have the run of the house without a little kitty running around.
I also had moments of time with just me and Rusty with Herbie in the other room.
I felt bad for Herbie because he was in the separate bedroom, but he slept most of the time.

After about 3 WEEKS, they still were not getting along, mainly Rusty would give him a hiss or hit whenever he walked by.
I talked to my vet and she said give it some more time. At time point I really thought they would NEVER get along and I would have to separate them forever!

Finally in December (3 MONTHS after bringing Herbie home) I noticed Rusty hissing less and less and then the BIG breakthrough.....I caught them sitting on the couch, grant it not next to each other, but at least they were on the same couch!

About a month later I came from the kitchen into the living room and I caught Rusty and Herbie sitting in the same chair, bathing each other!!!!
I could not believe it. I even called in DH to take a look because I knew he would not believe it.

So, what I am saying is if my Rusty and Herbie can become best of friends, any cats can.
It took a long time and there really was a time I would cry and say "what did I do???" I felt bad for Rusty because he was so mad and I felt bad for Herbie because he didn't know why this other cat didn't want to play with him.
But today they really are best friends!!

Hang in there. They will be fine.

 

[CheshireVal]

I've been through this situation twice, and each time I got really upset because it seemed like the kitties would never get along. I'd be worried that I had ruined my relationship with Kitty #1 forever, and I'd stress that I'd brought Kitty #2 into a home where she/he felt threatened and scared.

Both times it worked out fine, though. My Sebastian just HATED little Chloe when we first brought her home, but after a week or two, they were pretty good friends.

 

[Virgo10]

I have 16 cats! All but two came in to our house as strays or throw aways. Some socialized in a matter of days. One of the more high strung cats (she's part Ragdoll) took nearly a month to get use to things. I never left the new cats alone with the rest until several days went by with no more hissing.

Cats use their sense of smell to identify another animal. To this day our cats will sniff each other to make sure they're part of the family. Sight identification doesn't seem to play a big part in their knowing whether or not it's friend or foe. Until the smell of your new cat is throughout the house, your older cat is going to look upon it as an invader and will try and defend its territory.

The last of our cats was added about 2 1/2 years ago so things run fairly smoothly here except for the occasional spat.

Here's some photos if you like to see my zoo.

All My Cats

Just wanted to add, be sure to give your older kitty lots of TLC. One of our cats actually got depressed when we brought the two Siamese kittens home. He stopped eating and would cry all the time. His feelings were hurt!

Once we started paying a lot of attention to him, he was fine.

 

[Jane E.]

Thanks so much for responding. I'm feeling so much better. I guess I'll just let the older cat hiss from now on. I had the little kitty in the cage next to my computer where I could watch her while the dog stood guard. Literally. The dog is in the middle of everything. Then ds kept our new kitty in the family room with him while the dog and cat were with me. I left the office and when I returned our older cat was sniffing the empty cage. I'll take that as a sign that she is interested.

Right now the new kitty is back in my room with her food and litter box and peace and quiet.

I can relate to what the rest of you were posting. We got this kitty for our cat who now hates us. She has hissed at everyone, including the dog today, and she never hisses. I'd only heard her hiss twice before so I was stunned when she did. What happened to my nice sweet lovable uncuddley cat?!

Thanks so very much for your help. I'm definately relieved. We may get thru this - looks like it could take 2 days or 3 months!!??!!! I'm voting for 2 days!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

For starters the newbie should be kept out of your bedroom. That is the alpha lair. Newbies have to earn that.

Your older cat did not like the first message of her is queen kitty, bow to her.

Generally we would just let the older one put the cat in it's place and that was that. The kitten should submit quickly.

 

[Jane E.]

I have 16 cats!

Wow!!!! Thats amazing. And I'm having trouble with two! Thanks for your advice and I loved your kitty pics. They're adorable.

Mystery Machine, our older cat's main hangout is in our office next to the livingroom - she sleeps on and under our wicker loveseat in there. Sometimes during the day she'll sleep in our room - the reason I picked our room is that neither of our animals has a bed in there. Our older cat's litter box, food and both animals "beds" are kept in the room our older son vacated when he left home. Thanks for your help.

 

[CheshireVal]

I can relate to what the rest of you were posting. We got this kitty for our cat who now hates us. She has hissed at everyone, including the dog today, and she never hisses. I'd only heard her hiss twice before so I was stunned when she did. What happened to my nice sweet lovable uncuddley cat?!

That's exactly how I felt! I was feeling like I had betrayed my old cat and that he would never want to sit on my lap ever again or ever want anything more to do with me! People kept telling me that it would pass, but I never believed them.

So now I'M the one telling other people.... relax, it will all be just fine!

 

[Kay7979]

I have been through this a few times, too. It's strange that the cat who is the newbie always grows up and hisses at the next newbie, forgetting what it felt like!

The new cat usually looks at the old one like "what's the matter with you?" and tries to be friendly. The old cat hisses at the new cat and at its owners for committing this act of treason. The old cat has to establish that it's the boss, and that usually takes at least a couple weeks.

I'll never forget, maybe 20 years ago, when our little kitten Tigger joined our family, and the established cat Merlin slunk around the house for days keeping a wary eye out for the rambunctious kitten. Merlin passed by an easy chair in the living room once, just as the kitten scooted out from beneath the chair. Now I know where the cartoonists get some of their funniest material! That old cat went straight up like a rocket lauch, about two feet high. I about died laughing. I didn't think that was physically possible except in cartoons.

Fast forward six months or a year and they are licking and grooming each other, and using each other for pillows. And as one of the other posters said, they liked to wrestle. They would stand on their hind legs and wrestle like two grizzly bears, all the while howling and growling like they were killing each other. I knew better, though, because their ears weren't back. Sometimes they'd pause and lick each other a couple times, then start in again. They were a riot.

Bottom line, it is extremely unlikely that your cats won't adjust in a few weeks. They'll end up at very least tolerating each other, but probably being best of friends.

 

[Jane E.]

Chesireval, thank you for letting me know that we can survive this. Our older just hissed, growled and fussed at dh when he tried to pick her up to hold her tonight when he got home from work. Neither one of us can believe the personality change!

Kay, that rocket launch is hilarious. Our older cat did that once when she was watching the dvd player open and close. I snuck up behind her and lightly tapped her back - up she went straight up in the air!!! I'd never seen anything like it. You must've died laughing. I'm glad they settled down. Hopefully, it won't be long for us.

 

[wilderness01]

maybe snugglekitty can help the new furbaby sleep at night. look up their website. the other animals will adjust and I'm sure they will be good friends. It just may take awhile.

 

[Jane E.]

Thank you Wilderness. I hope we'll have harmony restored soon.

This morning I actually opened the door so our older cat could come into the room. She slunk around the corner, spied kitty eating & began hissing away. The kitty even started walking towards her but - no deal. After 15 minutes of hissing and staring our older cat was apparently tired - she found a quiet corner in my office and went to sleep. Or else she was ignoring me.

Now I've got the sliding glass doors to my office closed. First, I had the older animals with me and the kitty in the livingroom - now I've switched. They can see each other but not 'get to' each other.

I keep remembering how warm and snuggly our new kitty looked at Petsmart. The shelter had her in a cage with two other kitties. They were snuggling and looked so comfy. I feel so bad that I took her out of that safe environment. She must really be freaked out!

Thanks so much for your suggestions and advice. I loved hearing everyone's stories and read them all to dh! Who I hope is now not regretting getting a new cat!