Neighbor didn't invite to superbowl party

[SDSDS]

My husband and I have next door neighbors who we've been friends with since they moved in over a year ago. They have children the same age as ours who play together really well. We've invited them over to our house for a few parties (parties that include other families inside and outside the neighborhood). We watch each other's dogs while the other travels (so they've entrusted us with keys to their home and we have to ours). In late December, they invited us over for a New Year's eve party, but we decided to stay in for several reasons (we had just returned from a hectic travel schedule over Christmas on 12/29, I had a serious doctor's appointment on New Years Eve (getting test results back), and as a family, we just needed to have a quiet night relaxing together). So, we politely declined without getting into too many details. Anyhow, they had a huge party for the Superbowl, but did not invite us. There must have been 45-50 people at their house, many of the families were other neighbors. I feel snubbed, and embarrassed. Even though we're not the closest of friends, I thought we had a friendly relationship where we included each other in parties, but clearly that's not the case. I have not said anything to the neighbors, nor do I plan to. I'm just curious as to what I could have done that would have led to the snub. We're planning a big party in May and up until now it had not crossed my mind to exclude them, but now I'm wondering what to do. I have a history of allowing friends to take advantage of me (where I was always the one planning/hosting/providing food for everyone), but I'm trying to avoid these one sided relationships that hurt my feelings. Do I invite them to our next party?

 

[JaxDad]

Yes. Take the high road. Plus, I don't think it's worth alienating a neighbor over what might just be a misunderstanding.

 

[wvjules]

If you were going to include them before, then still plan to include them. You have no idea why they didn't invite you. No reason to get into a tit for tat.

 

[L&Lfan]

Of course, invite them! And have a great time!

 

[cabanafrau]

Not getting along with neighbors can make life uncomfortable. In this case it's possible there is some kind of miscommunication and you somehow missed their invite, or they may be under the impression you were invited and not realize the invite didn't get communicated to you. No point in making life uncomfortable when it may very well be simple miscommunication.

 

[Erzengel]

If I was on a game show and the answer to the $1M question was the first and last names of your neighbors on either side, I wouldn't be going home happy.

 

[cluvsdisney]

Unless something else happens that gives you a really weird vibe between now and then, I would still invite them

 

[brockash]

My husband and I have next door neighbors who we've been friends with since they moved in over a year ago. They have children the same age as ours who play together really well. We've invited them over to our house for a few parties (parties that include other families inside and outside the neighborhood). We watch each other's dogs while the other travels (so they've entrusted us with keys to their home and we have to ours). In late December, they invited us over for a New Year's eve party, but we decided to stay in for several reasons (we had just returned from a hectic travel schedule over Christmas on 12/29, I had a serious doctor's appointment on New Years Eve (getting test results back), and as a family, we just needed to have a quiet night relaxing together). So, we politely declined without getting into too many details. Anyhow, they had a huge party for the Superbowl, but did not invite us. There must have been 45-50 people at their house, many of the families were other neighbors. I feel snubbed, and embarrassed. Even though we're not the closest of friends, I thought we had a friendly relationship where we included each other in parties, but clearly that's not the case. I have not said anything to the neighbors, nor do I plan to. I'm just curious as to what I could have done that would have led to the snub. We're planning a big party in May and up until now it had not crossed my mind to exclude them, but now I'm wondering what to do. I have a history of allowing friends to take advantage of me (where I was always the one planning/hosting/providing food for everyone), but I'm trying to avoid these one sided relationships that hurt my feelings. Do I invite them to our next party?

I just don't think it's a big deal. Maybe it was an oversight, miscommunication etc. I'd just assume it was innocent and let it go. I'd still invite them as usual in May. I highly doubt they tried to personally offend you. I also feel it's best and way less exhausting to give ppl. the benefit of the doubt the first time or two and if turns out to be more to it, then so be it, but I wouldn't waste any time/energy on thinking much about it.

 

[fortwildernessishome]

My feelings would be hurt too!

But, I would invite them to my next party.

If after that, they continue to exclude you from their parties while inviting all of the other neighbors, then I probably wouldn't continue to invite them to my parties.

Hopefully, your invitation got lost in the mail and they actually did invite you!

Good luck!

 

[Moliphino]

If I was on a game show and the answer to the $1M question was the first and last names of your neighbors on either side, I wouldn't be going home happy.

Same. I know the names of most of the dogs around, though.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

My husband and I have next door neighbors who we've been friends with since they moved in over a year ago. They have children the same age as ours who play together really well. We've invited them over to our house for a few parties (parties that include other families inside and outside the neighborhood). We watch each other's dogs while the other travels (so they've entrusted us with keys to their home and we have to ours). In late December, they invited us over for a New Year's eve party, but we decided to stay in for several reasons (we had just returned from a hectic travel schedule over Christmas on 12/29, I had a serious doctor's appointment on New Years Eve (getting test results back), and as a family, we just needed to have a quiet night relaxing together). So, we politely declined without getting into too many details. Anyhow, they had a huge party for the Superbowl, but did not invite us. There must have been 45-50 people at their house, many of the families were other neighbors. I feel snubbed, and embarrassed. Even though we're not the closest of friends, I thought we had a friendly relationship where we included each other in parties, but clearly that's not the case. I have not said anything to the neighbors, nor do I plan to. I'm just curious as to what I could have done that would have led to the snub. We're planning a big party in May and up until now it had not crossed my mind to exclude them, but now I'm wondering what to do. I have a history of allowing friends to take advantage of me (where I was always the one planning/hosting/providing food for everyone), but I'm trying to avoid these one sided relationships that hurt my feelings. Do I invite them to our next party?

I think you should not invite them. In fact, build a nice 10 foot stone wall between houses. That will fix em real good.

 

[mjkacmom]

A good friend neighbor (20 steps away) had a Halloween party, I saw pictures on social media, and most of the guests are friends if our too. I then realized that one thing they all had in common was their sons were all good friends, they have 4 boys not the same ages as our kids (one year off). There are several friend circles, many intercept, this one happened to have a lot of our friends. I hat3 Halloween parties, so I was happy.

A week ago she asked me if I got her Super Bowl party evite, I looked back and it was in my inbox, I just missed it. I’m usually good at RSVPing (or else I forget). There were friends in our core friend group not invited.

Invite them to your party.

 

[NYCgrrl]

My husband and I have next door neighbors who we've been friends with since they moved in over a year ago. They have children the same age as ours who play together really well. We've invited them over to our house for a few parties (parties that include other families inside and outside the neighborhood). We watch each other's dogs while the other travels (so they've entrusted us with keys to their home and we have to ours). In late December, they invited us over for a New Year's eve party, but we decided to stay in for several reasons (we had just returned from a hectic travel schedule over Christmas on 12/29, I had a serious doctor's appointment on New Years Eve (getting test results back), and as a family, we just needed to have a quiet night relaxing together). So, we politely declined without getting into too many details. Anyhow, they had a huge party for the Superbowl, but did not invite us. There must have been 45-50 people at their house, many of the families were other neighbors. I feel snubbed, and embarrassed. Even though we're not the closest of friends, I thought we had a friendly relationship where we included each other in parties, but clearly that's not the case. I have not said anything to the neighbors, nor do I plan to. I'm just curious as to what I could have done that would have led to the snub. We're planning a big party in May and up until now it had not crossed my mind to exclude them, but now I'm wondering what to do. I have a history of allowing friends to take advantage of me (where I was always the one planning/hosting/providing food for everyone), but I'm trying to avoid these one sided relationships that hurt my feelings. Do I invite them to our next party?

Nobody is using you if you weren't invited somewhere and thus didn't have to bring anything so put those feelings to the side.
Invite them and then you might know how they really feel about you.
HTH

 

[Christine]

Invite them.

This could have been a simple miscommunication OR maybe they felt snubbed by your not coming to their New Year's Eve party. They shouldn't have, but you yourself said in your post that you had many reasons for not attending and you didn't elaborate. You just declined the invite. Sounds like you all have become good friends over the year so by being vague about declining their party may have left them feeling a little "off" about you? I don't know, just guessing. If I had pretty good friends that lived RIGHT NEXT DOOR to me and I declined an invite (and I was going to be at home), I think I would have been very open with them that I had a lot going on, didn't feel well, and just needed to stay home that night. For an acquaintance, no need to explain, but these people feel a bit closer.

So invite them and see how it goes from there. You do not want to unnecessarily get cold with neighbors.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I'd say invite them.

You don't know what really happened for the Super Bowl party so it would be a big assumption IMO to make to just disinvite/not invite off of that. I get how you may feel though just don't assume what happened for the Super Bowl should mean losing that neighborly relationship that could happen should you just decide to not invite them for future parties.

 

[Hikergirl]

There must have been 45-50 people at their house, many of the families were other neighbors. I feel snubbed, and embarrassed. Even though we're not the closest of friends, I thought we had a friendly relationship where we included each other in parties, but clearly that's not the case.

If you were planning on inviting them to your May party then I would still plan on that.

The above really stuck out to me because you mention having a relationship where you include each other parties. You stated that they invited you to their NYE party, do you feel that you have to be invited to every single party they have because you have a friendly relationship? That's kind of presumptuous and entitled IMO.


I could never be friends with my neighbors, way too much potential for drama.

 

[Flowers12]

Eh, I think your reason too much into it. Invite them to the next party and see what they say. Of they decline, move on. Don’t invite them to anything else.

 

[PollyannaMom]

In this case, I would still invite them. There's a good chance it's one of those things where he thought she invited you and she thought he did.

I know how you feel, though. We have some neighbors (not right next door, but several houses down) who dropped us for some reason as well. I've always kind of wondered what we did? (...not enough to ask, of course )

 

[Summer2018]

I can understand why your feelings would be hurt, but I have a feeling that previous hurtful experiences are coloring your view of this situation. I totally get not wanting to be mistreated in your friendships.

I would see how they behave in the next couple of months. Do they act the same with you or are they suddenly distant? If they act normally, I would cut them some slack and invite them. If a pattern develops of them leaving you out, then you can cut them off at that point. Give it a little time and space to see.

 

[jdb in AZ]

Take them some valentine's cookies.