Need someone to talk to

[luv4u859]

Can't the bolded be true? Maybe the thought of it would scare her.

And going to Sesame place isn't for you to ride rides, it's for you to hang out with your friend.

It seems to me that you are too "short" with your friends and can be difficult to get along with. They either do what you want when you want it, or you get mad at them. Relax and roll with it a little bit.

if i'm gonna pay my money, I am going to want to get my money's worth.

 

[luv4u859]

Maybe that was her way of saying no. What makes you think she was tring to give you the run around? She might have wanted to give you the reason she was not interested in participating in the Color Run rather than just saying "No" with no other explanation. To me, it sounds like the two of you might just have different communication styles. What was your response when she asked you about Sesame Place?

because she has always gave me the run around. Invited her to my house warming and she told me she was coming until the day off she just couldn't come anymore and said her mother in law told her she couldn't come.

for our birthdays which is close to each other, we had planned to go out to eat, 2 days before she just texts me and says she couldn't go anymore. no reason.

when she asked me, I said for what? and then I told her no I don't want to go because i don't have kids.

 

[wvjules]

if i'm gonna pay my money, I am going to want to get my money's worth.

Gotcha

Too bad forming a friendship doesn't fall under that category. BTW, how much was the Color Run?

 

[luv4u859]

I was even trying to possible move into a house and get a roommate, that would really help me get close to someone else. I am going to keep looking for someone who may want to go half on rent with me. its not the money issue, it would just be having someone to be around. we could have parties lol

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I was even trying to possible move into a house and get a roommate, that would really help me get close to someone else. I am going to keep looking for someone who may want to go half on rent with me. its not the money issue, it would just be having someone to be around. we could have parties lol

I wouldn't count on a roommate situation turning into a best friend situation.

In my experience, living with someone(other than DH) has not helped our relationship.

I lived with my VERY best friend after HS. Worst mistake we have ever made. It was fun at first but once you bring money/household responsibilities into the mix it changes things.

 

[Scurvy]

because she has always gave me the run around. Invited her to my house warming and she told me she was coming until the day off she just couldn't come anymore and said her mother in law told her she couldn't come.

for our birthdays which is close to each other, we had planned to go out to eat, 2 days before she just texts me and says she couldn't go anymore. no reason.

when she asked me, I said for what? and then I told her no I don't want to go because i don't have kids.

Well, you could be right. She could just be stringing you along and doesn't really intend to hang out with you when you make plans together. But she could also just be flaky or have something going on in her life that causes her to be unable to follow through with the things she plans. Given that she contacted you to say she wanted to hang out, that makes me think she isn't really trying to give you the run around. Whether she is or not, the fact that she flakes on plans is definitely a valid reason for you not to want to hang out with her.

However, the more you post the more I think that communication style and expectations are playing a role in this. Your response to her seems brusque and not particularly friendly. Your posts on here are not exactly warm and fuzzy. Please don't think I'm criticizing you - some people are more warm and fuzzy and some are more blunt. You seem more blunt. Obviously I only "know" you from your posts on here and you might be nothing like that in real life. But if you communicate in real life the way you do on here, it's possible that you are being direct, negative or short enough that it makes some people uncomfortable.

 

[luv4u859]

Gotcha

Too bad forming a friendship doesn't fall under that category. BTW, how much was the Color Run?

right now there's a special until march 1st is $35 dollars, after that it goes back up $40, $45 and $50.

 

[luv4u859]

Well, you could be right. She could just be stringing you along and doesn't really intend to hang out with you when you make plans together. But she could also just be flaky or have something going on in her life that causes her to be unable to follow through with the things she plans. Given that she contacted you to say she wanted to hang out, that makes me think she isn't really trying to give you the run around. Whether she is or not, the fact that she flakes on plans is definitely a valid reason for you not to want to hang out with her.

However, the more you post the more I think that communication style and expectations are playing a role in this. Your response to her seems brusque and not particularly friendly. Your posts on here are not exactly warm and fuzzy. Please don't think I'm criticizing you - some people are more warm and fuzzy and some are more blunt. You seem more blunt. Obviously I only "know" you from your posts on here and you might be nothing like that in real life. But if you communicate in real life the way you do on here, it's possible that you are being direct, negative or short enough that it makes some people uncomfortable.

i'm really not blunt, half the time I am scared to speak up and tell people how i feel, that's another reason why I feel that I can taking advantage of sometimes because I don't speak up for myself.

 

[luv4u859]

I started the power90 workout and i invited her over to do it with me whenever she has time.

 

[crashbb]

I got mad because I asked her and she gave me the run around. Saying she would be scared or think monsters are gonna get her, when she could have just said no I'm not interested. I'll rather people tell me no straight out then give me the run around.

Honestly, that is the exact same reason I gave friends for not wanting to do similar run (and it was the truth). I didn't want to do a race in which I was being chased. Whether that makes sense to you or not, it is the truth. My friends accepted it (okay, one mocked me a bit, but none accused me of lying).

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

Unfortunately, if you are at that stage when your friends have kids and you don't, you sometimes have to do "kids stuff" if you want to see your friends. I don't think you should have to spend tons of $ to go to an amusement park though. But if she offers an opportunity to see her again and it is an inexpensive kid-oriented experience, you might want to consider going just to spend time with her.

 

[luv4u859]

Honestly, that is the exact same reason I gave friends for not wanting to do similar run (and it was the truth). I didn't want to do a race in which I was being chased. Whether that makes sense to you or not, it is the truth. My friends accepted it (okay, one mocked me a bit, but none accused me of lying).

i didn't accuse her of lying. just didn't like getting the run around, just say no and its only because she has done it twice before.

 

[crashbb]

i didn't accuse her of lying. just didn't like getting the run around, just say no and its only because she has done it twice before.

How is she giving you the run around? She said "no" and explained why. How is that giving you the run around? Sorry, but I really don't understand what is wrong with what she did.

Sorry, since you said that what she did was wrong (giving you the run around), I assumed that you were suggesting that you didn't believe her or that she was being evasive.

 

[luv4u859]

How is she giving you the run around? She said "no" and explained why. How is that giving you the run around? Sorry, but I really don't understand what is wrong with what she did.

Sorry, since you said that what she did was wrong (giving you the run around), I assumed that you were suggesting that you didn't believe her or that she was being evasive.

She did not say no.

 

[luv4u859]

plus, I found cake classes (guess that's what you call them) at my local michael's. it starts in march.

 

[Mkrop]

plus, I found cake classes (guess that's what you call them) at my local michael's. it starts in march.

Hope you enjoy them! Go in with an open mind, this may be the class where you find a friend but it may not be. Just enjoy getting out and meeting the people regardless of where the relationships go!

 

[Skywalker]

because she has always gave me the run around. Invited her to my house warming and she told me she was coming until the day off she just couldn't come anymore and said her mother in law told her she couldn't come.

for our birthdays which is close to each other, we had planned to go out to eat, 2 days before she just texts me and says she couldn't go anymore. no reason.

I am just commenting because I have been like your friend before. In my case it was because of social anxiety issues, I would say yes to things, thinking I could do them and then as the time came closer I would panic and not be able to show up. Other people have issues too, maybe this is hers, maybe not. But you are supposed to BE a friend too...realize that other people have their own stuff going on and maybe you could be supportive of them.

To be honest, you sound very negative as well as argumentative and actually selfish to me. I know you think in you heart you are good, nice person, but even good and nice people have their negative qualities. I think you should look inside how to work on your own issues instead of thinking everyone else is always the problem. And reach out and be supportive with others instead of always judging them.

I am not meaning to be rude, but I am giving you my view as bluntly as I can.

 

[luv4u859]

I am just commenting because I have been like your friend before. In my case it was because of social anxiety issues, I would say yes to things, thinking I could do them and then as the time came closer I would panic and not be able to show up. Other people have issues too, maybe this is hers, maybe not. But you are supposed to BE a friend too...realize that other people have their own stuff going on and maybe you could be supportive of them.

To be honest, you sound very negative as well as argumentative and actually selfish to me. I know you think in you heart you are good, nice person, but even good and nice people have their negative qualities. I think you should look inside how to work on your own issues instead of thinking everyone else is always the problem. And reach out and be supportive with others instead of always judging them.

I am not meaning to be rude, but I am giving you my view as bluntly as I can.

I am no where near selfish and don't appreciate you calling me it. I never once said I wasn't negative, but selfish I will never be, I was not raised that way. Gave people money when they had NOTHING, over 300 dollars I gave a friend throughout the years we have been friends and never once asked for any of it back. That to me does not equal selfish.

And I doubt she has social anxiety, she goes everywhere else with anybody else cuz she tells me, but whenever I plan stuff it gets canceled.

 

[kwelch10377]

I am no where near selfish and don't appreciate you calling me it. I never once said I wasn't negative, but selfish I will never be, I was not raised that way. Gave people money when they had NOTHING, over 300 dollars I gave a friend throughout the years we have been friends and never once asked for any of it back. That to me does not equal selfish.

And I doubt she has social anxiety, she goes everywhere else with anybody else cuz she tells me, but whenever I plan stuff it gets canceled.[/QUOTE]

If the bolded is true I would think about why she is just cancelling on you.

In this thread you come across as very defensive when anyone tries to give you feedback that isn't positive. No one likes to hear someone be critical of them but sometimes you really need to take that feedback to hear, especially if you are looking to change something in your life. People don't always realize that they are coming across a certain way and they only way you will ever know is if some one tells you and you really listen to them.

 

[okeydokey]

I know it is hard, but sometimes the problem is you. If everyone seems to treat you a certain way, you may need to step back and try to figure out what YOUR role in it is. I know it is easier and more pleasant to think over and over again that it is someone else's fault or problem, but thinking that doesn't change anything.