Need someone to talk to

[luv4u859]

And it's all being put on me. Yes I may have issues, but people cancel on me all the time, for whatever reason. I had a house warming party. Everyone I invited said the would come. I even texted everyone the day before saying how to find my apartment & etc. ask me out of 16 friends I invited came, ONE. ONE PERSON and just my family. Everyone just texted me with excuses or didn't say anything at all. So it is not always MY FAULT. yes I have to blame because I don't let people get smart with me but its not always my fault people cancel on me. You only know what I am telling you.

 

[Arielle22]

I am no where near selfish and don't appreciate you calling me it. I never once said I wasn't negative, but selfish I will never be, I was not raised that way. Gave people money when they had NOTHING, over 300 dollars I gave a friend throughout the years we have been friends and never once asked for any of it back. That to me does not equal selfish.

And I doubt she has social anxiety, she goes everywhere else with anybody else cuz she tells me, but whenever I plan stuff it gets canceled.

To me, saying you don't want to go to Sesame Street, even to spend time with a friend, because you won't get your money's worth does come across as selfish.

 

[okeydokey]

And it's all being put on me. Yes I may have issues, but people cancel on me all the time, for whatever reason. I had a house warming party. Everyone I invited said the would come. I even texted everyone the day before saying how to find my apartment & etc. ask me out of 16 friends I invited came, ONE. ONE PERSON and just my family. Everyone just texted me with excuses or didn't say anything at all. So it is not always MY FAULT. yes I have to blame because I don't let people get smart with me but its not always my fault people cancel on me. You only know what I am telling you.

I didn't say it was ALWAYS your fault. Just ask yourself why 16 people would cancel on you at the last minute and not tell you. Maybe they are all jerks, and you just need a new class of people to hang with. Maybe somehow you are making it unpleasant to be around you and your friends are not wanting to spend time with you. it is impossible for US to know. I am just saying that if the same thing keeps happening to you over and over again, maybe you are the common denominator and need to to take a good look at how you relate to people.

I know it is hard to hear criticism, but it can be a growing experience. I think people here sincerely want to help you.

 

[luv4u859]

To me, saying you don't want to go to Sesame Street, even to spend time with a friend, because you won't get your money's worth does come across as selfish.

your opinion. would you spend the money you didn't have right now?

 

[luv4u859]

I didn't say it was ALWAYS your fault. Just ask yourself why 16 people would cancel on you at the last minute and not tell you. Maybe they are all jerks, and you just need a new class of people to hang with. Maybe somehow you are making it unpleasant to be around you and your friends are not wanting to spend time with you. it is impossible for US to know. I am just saying that if the same thing keeps happening to you over and over again, maybe you are the common denominator and need to to take a good look at how you relate to people.

I know it is hard to hear criticism, but it can be a growing experience. I think people here sincerely want to help you.

i do think of that. I do ask what is wrong with me. But when you have people who you has done the same thing for years, say they will do or go somewhere with me and don't and they have done it many times, i know its not me. That was a very hard day for me because I realized then I had nobody but family, NOBODY came, NO ONE.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I feel your pain...
I hear it in your post.
I really do...

But, again, this thread seems to be a good example of how there is something there, in you, that is probably what is getting in the way.

Do you think continuing to argue and be defensive and point fingers is going to be your answer.

People here have only tried to help.

There is a saying that many counselors use.... I can only paraphrase... It goes some thing like this.

"When you find yourself saying how the problem is all out-there... that is the problem."

I think I am going to 'cancel out' on this thread now....

 

[WDSearcher]

I am no where near selfish and don't appreciate you calling me it. I never once said I wasn't negative, but selfish I will never be, I was not raised that way. Gave people money when they had NOTHING, over 300 dollars I gave a friend throughout the years we have been friends and never once asked for any of it back. That to me does not equal selfish.

And I doubt she has social anxiety, she goes everywhere else with anybody else cuz she tells me, but whenever I plan stuff it gets canceled.

You can be the most selfish person in the world and still loan money -- because sometimes people give and give to others so that they can get all the thank yous and compliments back and so that they can tell everyone else how great they are. I'm not saying that that's why YOU are doing it, but that's just an example. Being generous with money doesn't automatically make you not selfish.

And your last line? "And I doubt she has social anxiety, she goes everywhere else with anybody else cuz she tells me, but whenever I plan stuff it gets canceled." That was total whining. I'm sorry, but it was.

 

[wvjules]

But you do have the money. You were going to spend it on the Color Run. I know it's not your choice of things to do but for crying out loud, someone is actually inviting you to do go something with them. GO!

Honestly, I felt sorry for you at the beginning of this thread. But the more you talk and the more excuses you make the more bitter you sound, I can see why your 'friends' cancel on you. You seem so bitter and unpleasant. I know having no friends can be tough but you really need to take a cold hard look at yourself and figure out why. Re-read what you have typed in this thread. But imagine it's someone else. Do you not see the same things people on here have been telling you? You have a HUGE chip on your shoulder. You do need to talk to someoneone and the DIS isn't it because you apparently aren't hearing a damned word anyone is saying.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Being selfish rarely has to do with money--it is an attitude of putting your own wants ahead of what others want.

I'm sorry but I do agree with others that it sounds like you are the problem and things will only get better for you once you realize that and seek help and change how you are relating to the world.

 

[luv4u859]

But you do have the money. You were going to spend it on the Color Run. I know it's not your choice of things to do but for crying out loud, someone is actually inviting you to do go something with them. GO!

Honestly, I felt sorry for you at the beginning of this thread. But the more you talk and the more excuses you make the more bitter you sound, I can see why your 'friends' cancel on you. You seem so bitter and unpleasant. I know having no friends can be tough but you really need to take a cold hard look at yourself and figure out why. Re-read what you have typed in this thread. But imagine it's someone else. Do you not see the same things people on here have been telling you? You have a HUGE chip on your shoulder. You do need to talk to someoneone and the DIS isn't it because you apparently aren't hearing a damned word anyone is saying.

the color run is atleast 40 dollars cheaper than that. I do have bills to pay.

I am listening to a damned thing people are telling me. It is no reason for people to be rude to me. I did not come here for people to feel sorry for me and maybe I am bitter, but its because I have no one. That is what people are not getting. It is not ALWAYS on one freaking person. It takes TWO people to have a friendship. I have given people options to use a FREE coupon to go places with me and look they still had excuses. I am sick of it. There is only so many excuses people can listen to before they start to shut people out.

 

[luv4u859]

Being selfish rarely has to do with money--it is an attitude of putting your own wants ahead of what others want.

I'm sorry but I do agree with others that it sounds like you are the problem and things will only get better for you once you realize that and seek help and change how you are relating to the world.

how am I the problem? like I said above, it takes two people to have a friendship. I can't beg people to freaking do things with me and I won't.

and you are right being selfish does not always include money, but that was an example. I am no where near selfish.

 

[luv4u859]

You can be the most selfish person in the world and still loan money -- because sometimes people give and give to others so that they can get all the thank yous and compliments back and so that they can tell everyone else how great they are. I'm not saying that that's why YOU are doing it, but that's just an example. Being generous with money doesn't automatically make you not selfish.

And your last line? "And I doubt she has social anxiety, she goes everywhere else with anybody else cuz she tells me, but whenever I plan stuff it gets canceled." That was total whining. I'm sorry, but it was.

you don't know me, so how can you say i am selfish? I don't give to get the thank yous, i could care less about it. I GAVE because I did not want to see a five month baby starve because her mom she didn't have money for formula. i GAVE because I didn't want my bestfriend to spend christmas alone. i GAVE because I did not want my friend to not have a coat to wear in the winter time, i GAVE because my friends daugther didn't have pampers, please tell me how that equals selfish? THOSE are the reasons I gave. I could care less about the compliments.

 

[luv4u859]

funny how when i post i am going to go to the classes at michaels, no one saw that, but everyone saw all the other post and is jumping on my back about it. one person commented on it.

 

[NHdisneylover]

how am I the problem? like I said above, it takes two people to have a friendship. I can't beg people to freaking do things with me and I won't.

and you are right being selfish does not always include money, but that was an example. I am no where near selfish.

People have already pointed out the ways, but I'll say what I see and reiterate what they have said since you asked me to:

IMO the antagonistic and defensive ways you communicate in this thread are likely similar to how you are in real life (because for most of us that is true) and that way of communicating is very negative and not fun to be around and tends to drive people away.

Also, the simple fact that a large number of people cancel on you and have drifted away shows you as the common denominator.

Also, your comments indicate that you tend to "keep score" Noticing every little "slight" but nothing good. This is more negative behaviour which bothers others and drives them away. And it is indicative of a selfish personality--it is all about how good you are and how bad others are to you--basically all revolving around YOU a the core of it.

You are angry with friends for not participating in the activities you think are fun (the Color Run) while at the same time angry with them for inviting you to things you will not enjoy. Why is it okay for YOU to not want to go to Sesame Place but not okay for another friend to not want to do the Color Run? You have a very selfish double standard there.

 

[Offsides]

Your original post was saying you needed someone to talk to and that you had no friends. I don't see any people being rude to you, but that aside, a bunch of people have given suggestions and/or shared concerns with you.. You seem unsatisfied with the replies you are getting, thus far. So I am just wondering what it is you are looking for? People have given advice as well as suggestions on how you might be able to make things better for yourself and yet you still seem really unhappy and a little bit combative. What can we do to help you, do you think? And that is a sincere question.

 

[NHdisneylover]

funny how when i post i am going to go to the classes at michaels, no one saw that, but everyone saw all the other post and is jumping on my back about it. one person commented on it.

Perhaps you should notice that the suggestion that you take classes, etc to meet new people tapered off after the first few pages.

I think that many people (myself included) initially read your OP and thought you might just need help meeting people, but as you continued to post and your "poor me" and belligerent attitudes became apparent, people have realized that meeting people will not result in you making friends unless and until you learn better ways to relate to those whom you do meet.

Plus--both this post and the one in which you said you signed up for a cake decorating class have a tone that indicates to me that you are posting looking for a pat on the back for doing this--more of that selfish "look at me" behaviour, that people are turned off by.

I really believe that you are not seeing it that way--and I can imagine it must be hurtful to have others see it and tell you, but if you truly want to be able to have friends and feel better you should pay attention when the majority of people cancel on you, the majority of posters point out these issues, etc and seek help. I wish you the best of luck in being able to do so; it will take strength to face your issue head on.

 

[luv4u859]

yup its all my fault, every ****ing thing i do is my fault. waking up in the morning is my fault and there is nothing wrong with people who lie to me and treat me like ****, yup those are the GOOD PEOPLE. I am the ****tiest person in the whole world. Are you all happy now?

thanks EVERYONE for making me feel worse than I did before.

THANKS

 

[wishesuponastar]

Why do you need to curse? That is uncalled for and immature.
I would go to Sesame place and have a good time, if you have the money for that. You would be spending time with a friend and her family. Get you out of the house and make memories with your friend.

Glad you are going to the cake class. Just maybe you will meet a new friend. Sounds like your old friends don't treat you nicely so find new ones.

This is OP post that I forgot to quote: yup its all my fault, every ****ing thing i do is my fault. waking up in the morning is my fault and there is nothing wrong with people who lie to me and treat me like ****, yup those are the GOOD PEOPLE. I am the ****tiest person in the whole world. Are you all happy now?

thanks EVERYONE for making me feel worse than I did before.

THANKS

 

[luv4u859]

Sounds like your old friends don't treat you nicely so find new ones.

and THIS is what the thread was started for. my friends do not treat me right. that is what my motive was for starting it.

 

[luv4u859]

and everyone wanted me to say its me, so that is what they got. instead of helping i get my back dug in and i feel worse. that is why.