Need some delicate parental advice!!

[TikiHut33309]

Just celebrated Easter with my DS, age 7 1/2, who still believes in the Easter bunny. I think we have to tell him now that there is no EB, Santa, Tooth F., etc. but I don't know how to break it to him. He has questioned it all a bit but still believes. I don't want to ruin the "magic" but the time has come, I think, and I would rather be the one to tell him then to have him hear it from another kid. Since I KNOW all you Disney parents are the best parents out there, I am sure you will have some great, delicate, ideas for me. Thanks SO much!!!!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Rule of thumb, don't come out and tell him. Let him ask.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

IF DH and I ever have a baby together, we are not doing the Easter Bunny, Santa, Tooth fairy thing...I don't want to have to worry about hurting my child over such things. DS and DD (from DH's first marriage) asked their mom and were told the truth when they were around 10 years old, they both handled it fine (I am pretty sure they all ready knew by things they said to us). I remember finding out the truth and being so upset, but I was a very sensitive child.

I guess I would wait until DS starts asking questions unless he gets to be too old, then you'll have to tell him for his own good.

 

[tw1nsmom]

When the time comes for my kids, I plan on talking about the "spirit" or energy of the TF, Bunny, Santa. That parents love their children so much that they want to bring a little magic into their lives. That there really is a Santa, Bunny, TF, but that they are their Daddy and me.

 

[golfgal]

We went all out on Santa, TF, EB, everything and the kids all "know" now. They were not upset, they are not scared for life. Just wait for your son to ask and then ask "what do you think". He will probably say he thinks it is you. It is a good time then to talk about the spirit of Santa, etc and how it is nice to give gifts and do nice things for people.

Miss Jasmine--it is REALLY fun playing Santa and Easter Bunny and seeing the look on their little faces on Christmas morning when Santa loads up the tree. It is a really magical part of childhood.

 

[Disneyrsh]

IF DH and I ever have a baby together, we are not doing the Easter Bunny, Santa, Tooth fairy thing...I don't want to have to worry about hurting my child over such things. DS and DD (from DH's first marriage) asked their mom and were told the truth when they were around 10 years old, they both handled it fine (I am pretty sure they all ready knew by things they said to us). I remember finding out the truth and being so upset, but I was a very sensitive child.

I guess I would wait until DS starts asking questions unless he gets to be too old, then you'll have to tell him for his own good.

ROTFLMAO. Bet me you will.

Once they start questioning the logic of these wonderful ideas, we plan on telling them that the 'spirit' of santa and the easter bunny and the tooth fairy are what's really important, and we, as parents, help foster that spirit and sense of wonder for them, our children.

We plan on saying, no, a guy in a red suit doesn't actually come down the chimney, but the "idea" and "spirit" of santa, of giving and excitement, are what's truly important.

We'll tell them it's like Walt Disney-he's not alive anymore, but there are people working very hard to keep the magic going, just like for Santa.

 

[TikiHut33309]

I also hated learning that there was no Santa, etc. when my mom told me too and I had actually thought about not doing it for my son also. BUT that changed after I had him and with all the Santa stuff out there, it's just hard not to. And I would not want him telling all the other kids that there is no Santa either, especially when they are at the believing age. It is SO incredible seeing their little faces light up when they see the presents under the tree, kind of like when they first see Cinderella castle!!! I enjoy playing Santa SO much, I don't want to lose this part of his childhood either...but, I think the time has come. Please share your "How I broke the news" stories with me, I need all the help I can get with this!!!!

 

[DISNEYLOVER70]

ROTFLMAO. Bet me you will.

Once they start questioning the logic of these wonderful ideas, we plan on telling them that the 'spirit' of santa and the easter bunny and the tooth fairy are what's really important, and we, as parents, help foster that spirit and sense of wonder for them, our children.

We plan on saying, no, a guy in a red suit doesn't actually come down the chimney, but the "idea" and "spirit" of santa, of giving and excitement, are what's truly important.

We'll tell them it's like Walt Disney-he's not alive anymore, but there are people working very hard to keep the magic going, just like for Santa.

I am going through the same dilemma with my 8 year old, and I think the last line of the above quote is PERFECT!!! I am going to use that one for sure. Thanks

 

[Daxx]

Why would you tell him? Let him come up w/it on his own. Do you all really think kids are hurt that there is no actual man in red who comes down the chimney!? DS is 9 yo and, although he hasn't come out and said "There is no Santa", I know he doesn't believe. Same w/the EB. But, he's not all whipped into a frenzy over it nor is he shattered or heartbroken! I think that if the child believes and you tell him he's wrong, he'll feel foolish. Just let him figure it out on his own.

ETA -- I think DS hasn't said he doesn't believe directly to me b/c he knows I'll be crushed if he acknowledges his disbelief to me!!!

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Miss Jasmine--it is REALLY fun playing Santa and Easter Bunny and seeing the look on their little faces on Christmas morning when Santa loads up the tree. It is a really magical part of childhood.

I got to do that with DD and DS, and it was quite enjoyable, but we have some beliefs now that we didn't have then, that changed the way we think about such things.

 

[TikiHut33309]

The reason why I feel like I must tell him is because I don't want him to be told and possibly made fun of by the older kids at school when he tells them what the EB brought him yesterday. Also, we will be spending Christmas in Germany this year and it will be extremely difficult to pull off the Santa thing there. I would rather let him figure it out on his own, but I am just afraid of him being hurt by the other kids - you know how cruel kids can be. I would rather be the one to tell him.

 

[Marseeya]

I don't know what to tell you, but I wouldn't have come out with it that early. Around that age, my kids were questioning, but they wanted the answer to be yes.

I used to read on message boards about people saying they'd never lie to their kids and make this stuff up, and how their kids would be hurt for being lied to. I used to think that was such a crock. Until last year when DD finally wanted to know THE TRUTH and nothing but THE TRUTH . She was genuinely upset that we'd lied to her all those years, and she's still a little angry with us.

So, beware. Some of you might have a kid like that who gets really upset at you. Sorry, but even knowing what I do now about her reaction, I'd still do the same thing.

 

[cteddiesgirl]

I would just wait until he asks. Kids get smart about these things sooner or later. But when he asks, as other said, just talk about the "spirits" of these figures.
But personally, I still believe in Santa!
He did exist once upon a time. And it is his true spirit of giving that still lives on.

 

[dizagain]

I have two VERY different children! DD12 never asked me a single question...does she "know"? Yes, I could tell in about 3rd grade when she kept saying she didn't need anything for Christmas! Believe me, that kid thinks we're poor and wouldn't want to ask for something we'd feel bad about...never mind she always gets most of what she wants! She is like me and LOVES the magic and spirit.

DD10 has been a believer in all of that stuff and I was beginning to get a little concerned. She did ask questions last Christmas and I gave her the answers my mom gave me that worked just fine..."If you don't have the true Christmas spirit in your heart, the magic won't be there and Santa won't need to come". Well...fast forward to this past Saturday night. She asks me if there's an Easter Bunny. I asked,"What do YOU think about it?" She says she thinks it's Mommy and Daddy and I just said, "Well, ok then." She then refused to call it the Easter Bunny and said she'd tell her soon-to-be new brother all about it!!!! She was serious! Hopefully between now and then we can have a talk and work things out. Now, this is a child who throws herself into the magic of WDW and enjoys the characters...I'm hoping I can compare the situations and she'll come around!!

It's hard, but worth the joy!

 

[Hannathy]

Don't come out and tell him! wait until he starts really asking. 7 1/2 is in my oppinion a bit young to tell him matter of factly. I have a 7 yr old and I'm not getting into that yet I want him to believe as long as possible. My DD was very old and then we kinda eased into it never really had the there isn't a Santa talk. We just talked about the Magic of Christmas and that I still believed in Christmas Magic but of course there were helpers and dropped it. Until she was ready to believe we just talked about how some kids are just mean and like to spoil everybody's fun and magic and she decided to just ignore them and believe what she wanted. I think kids have to accept it on their own level and they will, no one graduates with out finding out.You have a long time now until Christmas and he could change alot , I'd just wait till next fall and see where he is at that point. Like others have said let him lead and answer what he wants to know and leave it at that.

 

[Big Dude]

Just celebrated Easter with my DS, age 7 1/2, who still believes in the Easter bunny. I think we have to tell him now that there is no EB, Santa, Tooth F., etc.

Big Dude sticking his fingers in his ears.... lalalalal lalalala lalalala.....There is an Easter Bunny...There is A Santa Claus......There is a Tooth Fairy.........lalalalalala lalalalalalala

Being a "Santa" during the Christmas season...I have opted to let the little ones find out on their own. None have been devestated. When they figure out who Santa really is, I have a talk with them to "keep it OUR little secret." That works out really well.

Adam aka Big Dude

 

[Christine]

My son is 11 and he still "believes". Yeah, I know he doesn't really believe, but he wants to and that's okay with me. I'd just let it go--he will figure it all out on his own and is already starting to. You don't need to make a deal about it and the kids will not torment him.

 

[buddy&wooz]

Heck, my 13 year old won't admit he doesn't believe. I think he just wants to hold onto the magic (no coincidence that this is the kid who loves Disney like I do...)

My 8 year old still believes, I'm pretty sure that won't last much longer. But I don't mind if he hears it from a friend instead of from me, I'll just wait till he asks. I'm in no rush- he's my baby!

 

[Disneyrsh]

The reason why I feel like I must tell him is because I don't want him to be told and possibly made fun of by the older kids at school when he tells them what the EB brought him yesterday. Also, we will be spending Christmas in Germany this year and it will be extremely difficult to pull off the Santa thing there. I would rather let him figure it out on his own, but I am just afraid of him being hurt by the other kids - you know how cruel kids can be. I would rather be the one to tell him.

We've actually had kids (ours are 5 and 7) tell our kids that there isn't a Santa. When they came home from school and ask us, we shrugged and said "Some people don't believe in Santa. We feel bad for them." So now the girls just say "I feel bad for you that you don't believe in Santa" when some kid brings it up.

 

[transparant]

We went all out on Santa, TF, EB, everything and the kids all "know" now. They were not upset, they are not scared for life. Just wait for your son to ask and then ask "what do you think". He will probably say he thinks it is you. It is a good time then to talk about the spirit of Santa, etc and how it is nice to give gifts and do nice things for people.

Miss Jasmine--it is REALLY fun playing Santa and Easter Bunny and seeing the look on their little faces on Christmas morning when Santa loads up the tree. It is a really magical part of childhood.

I totally agree!