Need "not-yet-ready for Kindergarten"advice...

[Barb D]

4yo DD will turn 5 three days before the deadline for Kindergarten. Her preschool teacher thinks (and we agree) that she's not ready. She just wants to play, and is not interested in learning her letters, etc. The public schools in our area are apparently very academic and competitive.

So here are our options at this point:

1. We could leave her at the same preschool for another year. She'd have the same curriculum two years in a row. My concern here is that she already has a pattern of "tuning it out," so I'm not sure that another year of it would benefit her. But she loves her teacher, it's convenient, and she could stay there in the afternoons a few afternoons a week to give Grandma (our babysitter) some days off. Her teacher says that there is a boy in her class who was exactly the same as Amy the first year he was there, but really blossomed the second year using the same curriculum.


2. We could send her to a "transitional" kindergarten class at a private school. This class is specifically designed for kids who are old enough for K, but not yet ready. The "sit still and listen" times are shorter, and the academics are lighter. It's not a replacement for K; she would then do a regular K program the following year. The advantages of this is that it would be different program, so she might pay attention better. Plus, they have some really cool art and science programs. The cost for options 1 and 2 are about the same. Grandma is willing to babysit 5 mornings a week and take her to K in the afternoons.

3. We could have the public school evaluate her in August, and tell us if they think she's ready for K. I've talked to the PS teacher, and she says there is a wide range of abilities in the class, from kids who don't know their letters to kids who are reading at the 2nd grade level. But even if she does say DD is "ready," DD would still be the youngest in the class, and probably in the lowest groups. I think in any case it might benefit her to be the oldest in the class the following year, and to have things be easier for her rather than harder. OTOH, maybe if we put her in a regular K class, she would rise to the occasion. She's bright, but she's just not motivated. She loves to bounce and chatter. She does know about half of her letters in spite of herself, and recognized when she saw the word "MAY" on a calendar that it includes the letters in her name (Amy) but switched around. She also can conceptually do addition and subtraction. ("If there are 5 bunnies and two of them hop away, how many bunnies are left?")

Any thoughts, experiences, or advice to share?

BTW, this is all new to me...I homeschooled the older kids, and was able to tailor everything to where they were. But I'll be working full time starting next week.

 

[DisneyMomx7]

Whatever you do, don't let anybody talk you into sending her to kindergarten yet! Two years ago we were in the same position. My daughter turned five a week before the deadline (end of September). I felt she wasn't ready to kindergarten but when they tested her (private parochial school), they said she was fine to go. Against my better judgment (listened to DH too) I let her go. It was horrible. In the end she had to repeat kindergarten. We put her in a different paraochial school, she repeated kindergarten and everything is fine. That year was so terrible I wouldn't want anyone else to go through it. Their attention span is just not the same as kids who are almost 6 when they start. I would try a different pre school just so everything seems new to her and more exciting. GOod luck!

 

[snoopy]

I vote for Option 2.

Our DS was 5 on December 31, past the cutoff date for this past school year, thank goodness. He would have NOT been ready for kindergarden at 4. Some kids are, mine wouldn't have been one of them. He too liked to play most of all and had no interest in learning his A-B-C-'s, etc. We went the way of the "transitional" kindergarden, or pre-K, a different environment than that of preschool but not as structured as kindergarden. He'll start kindergarden this August and I think he is much better prepared than he would have been had we kept him in the same babyish preschool, but he won't lag behind had we sent him to kindergarden at 4. Of course only time will tell, as he starts this August.

Good luck to you in making your decision! You are so right - schools are so competitive these days, its hard to know when you are making the right decision!

 

[helenk]

I understand what you are feeling, I sent my son to Kindergarten when he was not quite ready, and he ended up having to go to a pre-first grade class. His pre-school teacher felt he was not ready, but he tested okay for admission to Kindergarten, but I really should have listened to his pre-K teacher, who really knew him.
Any way my opinion, I would go for the transitional Kindergarten, this way her curriculum would be different, she will learn new things and learn to sit still longer etc, to put her into her pre-K program would be holding her back.
Good luck!

 

[DISchick]

As a first grade teacher of ten years, I vote for more time. Whether you go with option 1 or 2 (although 2 sounds fabulous), your daughter will be much more likely to succeed in school if she is given the opportunity to be a little older and more mature.
I've seen so many babies struggle when one more year truly does make a difference.
I say--enjoy childhood as long as possible! Thanks for being open to the possibility of giving her the time she needs. We need more parents like you!

Jill

 

[Bob Slydell]

I also say option 2 (if available) or 1 is the better choice -- it kind of sounds like you're pretty certain too.

DS is also a 'tweener' as far as age, with a Labor Day birthday. We're most likely going to keep him back from Kindergarden until he's 6, more because he's a small kid and is still getting used to the social aspects of school and we feel that if he's the youngest and smallest in class he'll struggle. Granted, we still have a year to make that decision, but that's how we're leaning even now.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Your instincts are telling you Option #2 is best. Have you checked out if she could even get in?

 

[mom2boys]

Another vote for option 2 - especially if kindergarten is an all day program in your area. Around here, kids are expected to be reading by the middle of kindergarten - and that for the "average" level kids. They prefer them to be reading when they walk through the door that first day of K. A lot of stress for a 4 or 5 yr old.


My youngest would have benefited from starting academics a year older. He is very bright but not interested in sitting still - there is too much to DO in this world. I point blank asked his 4 yr old preschool teacher if he was ready for Kindergarten. I got an indirect answer that K teachers expect kids to be able to do "X Y & Z". I thought my kid could do "X Y & Z" - he could, if he wanted to but he wanted to play. His paraocial school had 1/2 day & all day kindergarten. (All day was for the older, more mature kids.) Half way through 1/2 day K, it became clear to me that he would be much better off in all day K the following year than in 1st grade. (His brother had done all day K the year before & was in 1st at the time, so I had a good feel for the situation.) No agreed with me. NOt the K teacher, not DH, not his dr. He took 6 weeks to adjust to the idea of sitting at his desk in 1st grade. Then a month into 2nd grade (at conferences) the teacher tells me how unprepared he was for 2nd & starts discussing him repeating 2nd grade (it was still Sept ) I found out later that this teacher made this statement to about 1/4 of her student's parents. It was so bad with this teacher & her attitude that we pulled our boys out of that school. They are now in our local public school and doing well. My youngest would still be happier & more confidient in his abilities if he had had the benefit of the all day K program.
If I had it to do over, he would have done K 2x. Once at his old preschool & then all-day at the paraochial school.

 

[mrs. magoo]

We sent our 4 year old to kindergarten and he did fine, but I have a 3 year old who is a January birthday and will have to wait a whole year as our cut off is December 1 and I am very happy. She will definitely need the time. She is a very different child from both her older brother and sister while her sister in the same predicament was ready to go this year and had to wait. When we had to make the decision with ds I went with what the preschool teacher thought and like I said he did fine.

My vote would be option 2. Something a bit different and a new environment.

Best of Luck.

Kathe

 

[Barb D]

One of you asked if we could get her into Option #2. As of Monday they had one afternoon opening (and no morning openings.) But she (the headmistress) said that this is the time of year when people are re-assessing their plans for next year. Some who had planned for traditional K will want to switch their kids to the transitional K, and vice versa. So I don't want to take too long deciding.

 

[4greatboys]

Option 2 sounds like the best for her. If you already know she isnt ready for regular K no need to take her to the school to be evaluated.

 

[CamColt]

I like option 2. I definitely wouldnt go back to the same class as she was in this year since it obviously didnt teach what it should have.

 

[antkim]

Option 2!!! No need to rush and another year of preschool would be just fine!! My ds is just finishing up his 2nd year and loves it!!
Kim

 

[BrerMom]

Another vote for option 2.

 

[Piglet]

I'd go with #2 - I would rather hold her back now than later. I look at it this way - I would rather it be easier for her than to struggle her entire years through school.

Melinda

 

[iloveeeyore]

Hi! I had to make the exact same decision for my October 30-born boy a few years ago (our cut-off is Dec. 1, so he made it by 31 days).

I strongly advise against option 3. Don't rush her. What could be bad about an extra year of childhood?

Of 1 and 2, it seems the consensus here is for 2; let me be the voice of dissent. I'd definitely choose 1. Remember that transition can be difficult for some children and even cause regression. If you send DD to a DIFFERENT school in fall 2004, and then YET another school in fall 2005, this could further complicate her whole situation. My opinion is, let her play, have fun and relax (while reinforcing the academic skills she's already learned, so she can REALLY nail them). She has her whole life to be academically challenged. Let her have 1 transition instead of 2.

Edited this to add - This is the decision we made for our DS and boy, are we glad we did.

 

[ZebraStripes]

I've been in your situation and if available, I would have taken number 2. My DD8 had some learning disabilities so she was in the same preschool class for 3 years (it was for ages 3-4/5). When it came time at the end of her 2nd year of preschool we felt she just wasn't ready for K, emotionally, socially, educationally. The extra year in preschool did her well and she is about mid-range in her class now in 2nd grade. Its a decision we are glad we made.

 

[Madi100]

It sounds like #1 didn't really give your DD any academic things. I know that preschool is great for just the social skills. But, if you are not going to send her to kindergarten, I think it would be great to make sure she is learning academically. You really need to look at your daughter, though. My older DD could read by the time she was four. She missed the cut-off for kindergarten (Oct. birthday). For us to find her a school that just taught colors and shapes would have bored the heck out of her. DD needed to sociallizing, but also needed a little more than just the colors. So, we found her a preschool that taught reading and letters, etc.

Now DD who is now 3 can almost say her ABC's. She has a Feb. birthday. She knows her shapes, etc. but in no way is she ready for more than that. She needs the preschool experience for the socialization, following directions, etc. If she did have a birthday that allowed for her to go early, at this time, I would not send her.

So, I really think you have to look at your daughter and see what she needs. It sounds like you are being adviced against sending her to kindergarten by a lot of people.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

We will probably be doing the same thing with DD. She is starting Preschool this year as a young (August Birthday) 3.

I would go with #2.

 

[charabby]

Another vote for option 2 - then she'll hit the ground running when she starts K!