Need input..I have a bad attitude

[Cruelladeville]

mikesmom,
It sounds like your real problem is that you are being taken advantage of, and it really bothers you. But connecting with the kids is important. So, yes, there are important reasons why you might be considering this whole senerio, but you are still being taken advantage of! You must just say NO! If the kids want to do Disney, tell them, hey come on down and they can pay for their own rooms over at All Stars, or some other place that's cash. Don't buy more points because you will be stuck paying the bills for something that the kids apparently don't want all that badly. DH isn't into vacations, so points are not something you need. Those pts will really be the road to H---, especially if everyone begins squabbling about them, or you can't rent them, or the kids don't want to pay for them, etc.

I suspect that the kids want you to take on all the bills and responsibility, as you did on the last trip, yet there is a real lack of appreciation for what you actually did for them. I've been there, done that. If you absolutely must invite the whole group, insist that you have your own space, and start making demands--NO time at the parks with the group, no cooking unless the kids do it, for example. Decide what you want to happen in an ideal situation, and work toward that goal, but don't do anything that you are strongly against, or you will continue to be resentful. Good luck--you are bound to be perceived as the bad person, so insist that DH support you in your goals. As I said, I've done this--I actually refused to go on another vacation until my demands were met It worked, though I seriously considered a shortened life span for my family as an alternative

 

[Candace]

To TheRustyScupper - do you have a copy of your "rules" you could share with us? That sounds like a good idea! I am planning a trip for about 25 of us in about a year, and I would like to see them.

MikesMom- you have been given good ideas here so far. the only thing I would add is to *make sure* you are not staying in the kitchen and being the "cook". When we first married and would go to the gulf with my extended in-law family, each family would be responsible for the meal for everyone ONE night only. That meant shopping, preparing and cleaning up. It worked out pretty well. And I would nix the GV idea. Too much togetherness. Stick with your 2BR and studios set-up. Give them a key to the 2BR so they can do their laundry and cook if they want. But then send them back to their own space!

 

[doubletrouble_vb]

I think the best suggestion you've gotten so far is to rent the necessary points in the years the whole family goes...and skip the Grand Villa. Two two bedroom units gets you two kitchens.
Plus renting the points is presents a more realistic picture of the cost to the kids without putting the burden of too many points on you for the next 30 years.

Doesn't BW have its version of a GV? You could preserve your points for a group trip every 3 years and rent points for yourself in the years the kids don't go (personally I think this sucks but its an option).

The other piece of advice is figure out which parts of the group trip caused you the most stress, discuss it with your DH and make a joint decision on how to resolve it. It almost sounds like the fact that they came along at all is the problem...which would be an issue no amount of buying, juggling, renting points would resolve (I'm saying that as an adult child with a half sister young enough to be my daughter). Right now it sounds like you are unhappy and he is unaware of it.

 

[Dean]

BW does have a few GV but the cost is so high that it might not be doeable. You could always use your BWV points at OKW and though you likely would not get a GV, you might. If not you could get a 2 BR plus whatever else you'd need for that trip. You could also arrange a "swap" with an OKW owner for an OKW GV giving you the 11 month priority at OKW and the other member the same at BWV.

 

[msdis]

I bought with the intention of inviting DS and her family(6) for a WDW vacation. After adding up ALL the expenses that I would have to pay for since there is NO way they could afford it, and then trying to figure out when they could all go, and then realizing others would be hurt/offended if not invited, and all the guilt that would go with that, and realizing how it would turn into a miserable time for me ...........and the list goes on..........we sold part of our DVC. Every situation is different, but I could see you really resenting buying additional DVC for the benefit of others while making yourself miserable. I vote for plan B, what ever that may be. Perhaps you could look into the homes(4-6br) that are available for rent by the week. No commitments, similar accomodations. Yes, there is nothing like being on site, but save that for yourselves. If quality time is what your DH needs with his kids then it won't matter where it is, and if in the future the gatherings slack then you won't have the investment to worry about and you can plan accordingly.