I normally watch the family and the trip planning boards and don't post much. Tonight when I got home I just needed someone to talk to and this seemed like the best place to do it. I am sorry if this gets long, but I just need to vent.
Start at the beginning. I went to school 9, 10 yrs ago for computer programming. Met a girl about halfway through school. We got close at about 6 months I found out what her family did. They had a computer software company. I never really wanted to force myself into the company, but I asked them to at least help me get an internship with them, to finish up my degree. They accepted me in, and I did very well they took me on full time. I never took this for granted and I always pushed myself to be the best because I don't want to let them down. I never minded working for family I grew up with a family corporation granted it was farming and not software but at least I knew what I was getting into.
I married the girl 7 1/2 yrs ago, and I love her even more today. The family in the business is MIL(president and founder), FIL(VP), BIL(Director of marketing), DW(Sales, and accounts, and ME(head programmer and DBA). My MIL, FIL always wanted to hand the business down to their kids. During the first yrs of marriage my wife was all into this. Of course I was as well because I figured I would get a piece of the cake to if I kept proving myself. It seemed as if this is how it was going to be, in 3 yrs I became the head programmer. I worked my tail off, and it takes a bit to get respect from fellow programmers when they find out you are the SIL, but I always proved myself. DW and BIL had occasional spats very typical in family business, but MIL and FIL never really wanted to help out with the situtations. BIL does have a bit of a work eithic problem he knows what he is doing but he plays alot and uses the family to get his way. This was his first job so and from what I can gather he has always gotten what he wanted(very spoiled).
Then came 9-11. Our company has a few gov contracts for 4-H youth enrollment program. Quite a bit of their funding was cut because gov changed their needs for security. MIL and FIL where charging everything CCs and eventually in 2002 filed for bankrupt. Most of my staff was cut, but I kept on going. DW and I held our paychecks so most of our staff could get paid. We wound up charging a lot as well because we just had our first DD in 2000 and where PG with our second and just needed to get food. We eventually learned out lesson, and we are still digging our way out but things have turned around for us. Any who this is when DW decided she didn't want the business the first time. It was very stressfull time and everyone was yelling at eachother. I also went looking for a job found one for 55000 compared to the 35000 I was making, the other job looked real good. You might say I thought programmers make a lot, well they can and they do. When you are a part of a family business sometimes you are the last to get raises to get the talent you need to be successfull. I turned down the job offer because in the interviews I realized that if I was going to leave I had to leave the job on positive note and get my dept back to where it needed to be.
Things turned around when the company finally hired coach. DW wanted the business back and my dept was back up to full steam. That was until summer of last year. BIL's son started having emotional issues and had a hard time controlling his temper. He got kicked out of camp for most of the summer BIL would just leave to take care of him. I understand that and they tried to get him help. Then BIL started to bring him into work. He kept running up and down the halls screaming and hitting people. We kept tell BIL to get more help for him but they didn't want to admit he has problems. He is only 7 but I worry about him when he gets a little older. Finally it was school time with in a month he got kicked out of school for the symester. Of course BIL kept bringing him in. DW was getting really POed with this, but MIL and FIL still would not step in. My dept was complaining as well. Eventually BIL got the hint and kept him at home. This is the part where the SHTF, MIL and FIL let BIL stay at home with the kid for 2 months with pay and not even deduction of vaction days. If my kids our sick one of us has to take at least a sick day.
Through this DW has said she won't take a bit of the business if she has to share the responsibility with BIL. I totally understand. My father has heard me, the other one in our family that owns a business, can't believe how the unfairness is. If DW does not want to have this business I don't want to be apart of it. The problem is that the software is like my children, and I am about to undertake a major project. I have worked to hard at this job to let things just go, but I think I need to just to make a stand. Granted now with 8 yrs of experience and DBA experience I am about 75000 dollar programmer in this area. Although right now I only make 40000 because I am not in this for money but more for the fun of programming.
Sorry this got long winded and I am also sorry for the spelling errors it is getting late.
Paul
Start at the beginning. I went to school 9, 10 yrs ago for computer programming. Met a girl about halfway through school. We got close at about 6 months I found out what her family did. They had a computer software company. I never really wanted to force myself into the company, but I asked them to at least help me get an internship with them, to finish up my degree. They accepted me in, and I did very well they took me on full time. I never took this for granted and I always pushed myself to be the best because I don't want to let them down. I never minded working for family I grew up with a family corporation granted it was farming and not software but at least I knew what I was getting into.
I married the girl 7 1/2 yrs ago, and I love her even more today. The family in the business is MIL(president and founder), FIL(VP), BIL(Director of marketing), DW(Sales, and accounts, and ME(head programmer and DBA). My MIL, FIL always wanted to hand the business down to their kids. During the first yrs of marriage my wife was all into this. Of course I was as well because I figured I would get a piece of the cake to if I kept proving myself. It seemed as if this is how it was going to be, in 3 yrs I became the head programmer. I worked my tail off, and it takes a bit to get respect from fellow programmers when they find out you are the SIL, but I always proved myself. DW and BIL had occasional spats very typical in family business, but MIL and FIL never really wanted to help out with the situtations. BIL does have a bit of a work eithic problem he knows what he is doing but he plays alot and uses the family to get his way. This was his first job so and from what I can gather he has always gotten what he wanted(very spoiled).
Then came 9-11. Our company has a few gov contracts for 4-H youth enrollment program. Quite a bit of their funding was cut because gov changed their needs for security. MIL and FIL where charging everything CCs and eventually in 2002 filed for bankrupt. Most of my staff was cut, but I kept on going. DW and I held our paychecks so most of our staff could get paid. We wound up charging a lot as well because we just had our first DD in 2000 and where PG with our second and just needed to get food. We eventually learned out lesson, and we are still digging our way out but things have turned around for us. Any who this is when DW decided she didn't want the business the first time. It was very stressfull time and everyone was yelling at eachother. I also went looking for a job found one for 55000 compared to the 35000 I was making, the other job looked real good. You might say I thought programmers make a lot, well they can and they do. When you are a part of a family business sometimes you are the last to get raises to get the talent you need to be successfull. I turned down the job offer because in the interviews I realized that if I was going to leave I had to leave the job on positive note and get my dept back to where it needed to be.
Things turned around when the company finally hired coach. DW wanted the business back and my dept was back up to full steam. That was until summer of last year. BIL's son started having emotional issues and had a hard time controlling his temper. He got kicked out of camp for most of the summer BIL would just leave to take care of him. I understand that and they tried to get him help. Then BIL started to bring him into work. He kept running up and down the halls screaming and hitting people. We kept tell BIL to get more help for him but they didn't want to admit he has problems. He is only 7 but I worry about him when he gets a little older. Finally it was school time with in a month he got kicked out of school for the symester. Of course BIL kept bringing him in. DW was getting really POed with this, but MIL and FIL still would not step in. My dept was complaining as well. Eventually BIL got the hint and kept him at home. This is the part where the SHTF, MIL and FIL let BIL stay at home with the kid for 2 months with pay and not even deduction of vaction days. If my kids our sick one of us has to take at least a sick day.
Through this DW has said she won't take a bit of the business if she has to share the responsibility with BIL. I totally understand. My father has heard me, the other one in our family that owns a business, can't believe how the unfairness is. If DW does not want to have this business I don't want to be apart of it. The problem is that the software is like my children, and I am about to undertake a major project. I have worked to hard at this job to let things just go, but I think I need to just to make a stand. Granted now with 8 yrs of experience and DBA experience I am about 75000 dollar programmer in this area. Although right now I only make 40000 because I am not in this for money but more for the fun of programming.
Sorry this got long winded and I am also sorry for the spelling errors it is getting late.
Paul
