My teenage daughter is getting on my nerves about dyeing her hair!

[snarlingcoyote]

Who cares about hair?

My rule has always been I don't care what you do about hair just no tattoos or excessive piercings until you are 18.

Let's see my DD has had hot pink streaks, Hot pink all over, copper streaks, darker all over, and one blue chunk.

It grows. The hot pink all over was very cute and she got a lot of compliments on that one.

Heck you are only young once, if you can't have fun with your hair now when can you?

Absolutely. x10 in fact.

My niece's mother just passed and the next time I go visit my niece I'm helping her dye her hair green since her momma can't help her do it anymore.

Count your blessing that she's doing something legal that has no moral or ethical issues and won't hurt her grades It's only a reflection of teenage taste.

If you play your cards right you could even turn this into a mother-daughter bonding experience and have fun doing it.

 

[Pigeon]

So what lesson will she learn? That semipermanent haircolor will grab highlighted hair and make her look terrible. There's no value in that. I don't get the whole let them screw up so I look like a hero afterwards thing.

You said she was getting roots, so it's time to go back to the salon anyway. Go with her to the salon, if you want, and let her tell the stylist what she wants. The stylist will tell her if what she wants will work with her hair, and there doesn't have to be some weird mother/daughter control deal.

She'll come out with nice hair, she'll look pretty and feel good about the whole deal. Yes, you won't get to lord it over her about how right you were about her hair, but oh well.

Oh, and for everyone who says "it's just hair" or "it'll grow out", try not having hair and see good how that makes you feel. Hair is important.

Also, hair grows slowly, the kid screws up her hair and she's in for months of feeling bad about herself and her decision, and her hair will NEVER look as good as it did before the bad dye went on it.

Meh. I've been through chemo and spent 8 months bald. It sucked. Eventually, it grew back.

Still, we're talking about a healthy teenager and it is just hair. This isn't about lording it over her, it's about letting her have control and letting her make her own mistakes.. We all have to do it, so let it be with something that grows back and really, in the grand scheme of things, is temporary and doesn't matter.

What grows in new will be unaffected by the "bad dye." The dye isn't going to linger forever, it will grow out.

 

[kellyg403]

So what lesson will she learn? That semipermanent haircolor will grab highlighted hair and make her look terrible. There's no value in that. I don't get the whole let them screw up so I look like a hero afterwards thing.

You said she was getting roots, so it's time to go back to the salon anyway. Go with her to the salon, if you want, and let her tell the stylist what she wants. The stylist will tell her if what she wants will work with her hair, and there doesn't have to be some weird mother/daughter control deal.

She'll come out with nice hair, she'll look pretty and feel good about the whole deal. Yes, you won't get to lord it over her about how right you were about her hair, but oh well.

Oh, and for everyone who says "it's just hair" or "it'll grow out", try not having hair and see good how that makes you feel. Hair is important.

Also, hair grows slowly, the kid screws up her hair and she's in for months of feeling bad about herself and her decision, and her hair will NEVER look as good as it did before the bad dye went on it.

I only disagree with the part I have bolded. My dd's all had jobs and were not required to pay rent. They were allowed to keep 10% of their earnings and save the rest. If their hair dying disaster caused them to have emotional issues they would be able to solve it. Not a single one ever coughed up the money to do so...so I don't think they were emotionally traumitized!

Kelly

 

[Disneyrsh]

sure

 

[MichelleVW]

Who cares? It's just hair. My youngest was blond up until 9th grade and she decided she wanted dark hair. When she was probably 9 or 10 we would put blue and purple streaks in it all the time. She loved it. I like her dark hair better and usually dye it for her every few months (her natural hair is brown, but she likes it black).

 

[Disneyrsh]

sure

 

[Pigeon]

Yes, the new hair that hasn't been dyed would be fine. I dont know why youd set the kid up for failure like that-we all know its going to look crappy.

How about you set her up for success instead, like saying, if you wait and get a darker color done at the salon, Ill go 50-50 on what you save to get there.

this sets up a delay of impulse, teaches compromise, and encourages hard work to attain good results.

I hardly think the parent is setting the kid up for failure. The kid is making a stupid, temporary fashion choice, but it's her stupid, temporary fashion choice. Kids need to do a little rebelling. This is completely harmless.

 

[Pigeon]

For all you people saying its just hair, go chop a few inches off the bottom. Right now. I dare you. After all, its just hair. No? Then its not just hair.

If I wanted to chop off a few inches, I would. I wear it very short already, though, so there really aren't a few extra inches to chop. In the past, I've had long hair, and we did some home trims sometimes. Sometimes I was pleased with the results and sometimes I ended up going to a hairdresser later. Really no big deal, and yes, just hair.

If my teenager wanted to chop off a few inches, she is welcome to do so. If she did, she could live with it for as long as she wanted to.

You're making it sound like the mother is forcing the kid to dye her hair. She's not. It's the kid who wants to do it. Her hair, so why not?

 

[Disneyrsh]

sure

 

[elgerber]

Yes, the new hair that hasn't been dyed would be fine. I dont know why youd set the kid up for failure like that-we all know its going to look crappy.

I have never seen the girl, or the color she wants, how do WE ALL know it will look crappy???

 

[redlight]

For all you people saying its just hair, go chop a few inches off the bottom. Right now. I dare you. After all, its just hair. No? Then its not just hair.

The point is that it's her hair, not her mom's hair.

 

[tinkerbellandeyor]

as long as she can A. pay for it. B. if she does not have a big event coming up

 

[Disneyrsh]

sure

 

[bdcp]

It's just hair. Pick your battles. This one just isn't a big deal. It's a good way to possibly learn a lesson and it isn't harmful to anyone. We were very strict parents to our boys, but as far as hair went, we didn't offer much in opinions because hair grows and it's a non permanent way to express themselves. It's not tattoos or piercings, so let it go. This isn't even an "I told you so moment". It's just hair. Both my nieces (not sisters) have had blue and pink streaks in their hair. Not a big deal at all.

She's 17, she'll be 18 before long. She'll go to college and you can't control everything she does. This just isn't worth a battle of any kind.

 

[redlight]

She has highlights, which is a high lift process. She's going to dump a dark color on top of very porous, very light hair. The hair is going to act like a sponge and grab waaaaay to much of the color. Its going to look like crap.

And since the kid has never done this to her hair before, shes gonna be relly relly sad to see the results.

Let's say you are right and she hates it. It will be a learning experience for her and a chance for you to say "I told you so".

 

[Disneyrsh]

.

 

[MichelleVW]

For all you people saying its just hair, go chop a few inches off the bottom. Right now. I dare you. After all, its just hair. No? Then its not just hair.

Sure......it grows back.

 

[Disneyrsh]

sure

 

[JessicaR]

I agree, it's mostly harmless. But it's also pointless.

Smart people learn from their mistakes.

REALLY smart people learn from other peoples mistakes.

It seems to me that you have decided to view this in a negative light. It doesn't have to be pointless, crappy or a mistake. She could love the choice that she makes for herself.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

For all you people saying its just hair, go chop a few inches off the bottom. Right now. I dare you. After all, its just hair. No? Then its not just hair.

When I was in HS and College? Sure. Been there. Done that. One night as a freshman I took my hair down from past my waist to a chin length bob. Looked cute too and I got a lot of compliments. By the time I was a senior it was heavy and long again.

I dyed it all sorts of strange colors when I was that age and had a LOT of fun doing so. Nowadays I hold myself to using henna and clove shampoos to stain my grays, but now that the OP brought it up, I'm considering going jet black.

And yes. I promise not to whine annd pout if I hate it. Honestly. It really is only hair!