My teenage daughter is getting on my nerves about dyeing her hair!

[dislaney]

It is just hair, but I've let my kids know that if they don't like what they do, I'm not going to pay to fix it. They can pay for it themselves. Funny when mine have to pay, they put a lot more thought into the decisions they make.

 

[jrmasm]

I'd let her do it but I wouldn't pay for it. I only pay for cuts, not color.

 

[krcit]

I think I shocked my dd the other day when she said she wanted to get her cartilage pierced. I said "let me just look into it and find a good place." I think she thought I was going to fight her so then she brought up dying her hair. I said "Oh, I saw a girl in the salon the other day with purple streaks. It was cool." she now says she'll wait a while. I used reverse pyschology and wasn't even trying!!

 

[postage stamp]

Here's my parenting philosophy: If you want to walk around looking like an idiot it's not my problem.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

Tell her that she has to pay for it and any consequences that come from it. You never know, she may really like it and not want to get it "fixed"

My mother didn't want me to dye my hair when I was younger; she kept telling me I wouldn't like it and would regret the decision. When I got to 16 and had my own money, I went out and bought a bottle of (permanent) hair dye and did it myself before she got home from work.

I loved it, didn't regret it and have been dying my hair that color (purplish red) for 13+ years now.

 

[golfgal]

If she is going to pay, ok. Rule here is if I don't like it, I don't pay for it-that goes for hair, clothing, etc. If they still want to do it, fine, their dime. They are sure a lot more frugal with their OWN money

 

[snykymom]

I definately get a say, especially if she is expecting this to by funded by mom. What's truly funny is that I just told her, "Go for it if that is what you want to do, but you will need to pay for it."

She said, " I think I changed my mind because if I don't like it then I can't afford to get it fixed."

It's possible she just learned a big girl lesson. You have to be able to afford the upkeep on hair. Its not cheap.

Handled beautifully! And you got the response you wanted. She's learning what "budgeting" means.

When my d wanted something that I thought was too expensive, I'd suggest splitting it with her or paying the amount I though was appropriate and she'd come up with the rest. Most of the time, she'd change her mind. My response then was, "If it's not worth your money, why is it worth mine?"

 

[AKL_Megs]

FWIW, those "semi permanent" haircolors DO NOT wash out 100%. I learned this the hard way at 18. You might want to tell her this, although she probably won't believe you (I didn't believe MY mom, either )

I had HORRIBLE roots until my hair grew out, as I refused to dye it again, and couldn't afford a salon fix.

 

[sunnyday123]

Slightly OT;


DD has recently become aware that she has hair on top of her head. I never remember wanting to dye my hair when I was younger, mainly because it was ( and thanks to my hairdresser, still is ) very dark. Her hair is light brown with blonde streaks ( natural ) in it. When do they want to start this dying stuff? Just so I can be prepared.

 

[hereyago]

Slightly OT;


DD has recently become aware that she has hair on top of her head. I never remember wanting to dye my hair when I was younger, mainly because it was ( and thanks to my hairdresser, still is ) very dark. Her hair is light brown with blonde streaks ( natural ) in it. When do they want to start this dying stuff? Just so I can be prepared.

I don't know. DD12 hasn't even thought of doing anything color to her hair. But one of her classmates this year has blonde hair, but last year she had brown.

 

[okeydokey]

Meh. It's her hair, let her make a mess of it she likes. Maybe she'll enjoy the goth look!

But you're not under any obligation to pay for it! She can buy it herself, and then if she needs to fix it later, she can pay for that herself, too. I'm sure you can come up with some way for her to earn money, if she's broke.

 

[katesorad]

I have red hair. Growing up, I hated when people told me that it was their dream hair color and that they wish it came in a bottle. It bothered me. I guess I just wanted to blend in. So, when I turned 18, the hair turned black. Eek! I dyed it black for almost 2 years.. and then I finally let it grow out. I liked it for that time, but it just didn't work well.

Let her buy a box and put the dye in her hair. If she hates it, it'll grow out fairly quickly if she cuts it regularly.

 

[jenrose66]

I have a 17 year old daughter that wants to dye her hair DARK. Her natural hair color is a dirty blonde. For the last 7 months or so she has had her hair highlighted and it has looked nice. The last time she had her hair highlighted they put in way too many highlights so now she is getting roots.

She came home from school and has decided that she wants to use a semi-permanent dye and go DARK. I am fine with her having darker hair...but the color she wants is DARK.

I am tempted to let her, on her own dime. I have a feeling that she will hate it but with it being so much darker I'm not sure how she would get it out. The bottle says it will last about a month. Having used this previously I know two things. It will last at least a month and the color on the box is lighter than what your hair will look like. Of course, Mom knows nothing.

I don't want to be too controlling, but I'm also not paying one penny to fix any hair mess and she certainly can only afford the one bottle of dye. I have paid for her hair stuff everytime but I'm not wanting to fund a disaster.

It's her hair let her dye it. Then stand your ground and don't fund a fix.

 

[MyManGoofy!]

I let me son bleach his hair blond in 6th grade. I even paid for it!

I have always lived by the 5 years/worst case scenario rule. So when he wanted to die his hair I thought first: what effect will this have on his life in 5 years? Ans: little to none. The worst case scenario? School yard teasing and blackmail photos for later!

Let her die her hair. Even if it doesn't wash out - it will grow out!

 

[Arielle22]

My DDs are a sophomore and junior in high school. The older one wanted purple streaks at the front of her hair when she started high school. We bought the dye and she did it with her friend.

Her natural color is dark brown so the purple did not show up too well. I took her to the salon and had it bleached and redyed. It looks good on her. I have to force her to the salon because she doesn't want me to spend the money. I tell her that if she wants it, I want it done right.

Before she began dying it we talked about what would happen if she didn't like it. The answer was that she would cut those sections out of her hair. She has a lot of hair so it would not be noticable.

When my girls were younger I always said no unnatural colors. A teen girl across the street was dying her hair crazy colors (whole head not streaks) with Koolaid. I was chatting with her mom one day and she said, if the only rebellion I get from her is her hair I will be happy. This changed my outlook.

My younger DD talked about putting streaks in her hair. She has natural blond highlights (which people think have been done at a salon) and I pointed out she might lose them due to their location and what she talked about dying. She decided against the dying.

 

[Pigeon]

I couldn't care less what they do with their hair. It's just hair. It grows out. If they want to look temporarily stupid, that's OK with me.

Tattoos and piercings are another matter. That they can do when they are entirely self-supporting.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My dd was about the same age when she had it with the blonde highlights bought a box of dark and then got rid of it.

Then I followed suit a couple of yrs later. I bought a box of color that was slightly darker than my original color and then did not touch color for 5+yrs. I recently had an all over color done to hide some grays and make my brownish hair more vibrant and then got half highlights.

Blonde is out and dark/natural hair is "in".

I got partial highlights for my 14yodd.

Now as far as BLACK hair, I did that probably 8yrs ago? I scarred my kids and I don't think they will ever go that route.

 

[ThePetLady7]

Slightly OT;


DD has recently become aware that she has hair on top of her head. I never remember wanting to dye my hair when I was younger, mainly because it was ( and thanks to my hairdresser, still is ) very dark. Her hair is light brown with blonde streaks ( natural ) in it. When do they want to start this dying stuff? Just so I can be prepared.

DD13 got her first highlights when she was 9 and her previously blond hair began to get darker. Now, I think she just gets bored with a look and wants to change things up occasionally. In the past year she has been light blond to dark brown and most shades in between. After the last brown to blond change, I told her we wouldn't be doing this again...it was just too hard to get the blond back. She is currently a medium blond, probably close to her natural color. In the summer, she has had streaks of pink, green, and blue and has even used kool aid and food coloring (these experiment usually taking place when everyone else in the house has gone to sleep at night).

 

[disney_mommy]

She's definitely old enough to make this choice on her own. If she hates it, she will have learned a lesson. At any rate, it will last, as most, 1 month. That's a pretty short time if it does go wrong.

 

[elgerber]

I would have no problem with my teen dd coloring her hair either. Not a battle I care to wage. I just got my 15yr old dd a bold violet/red streak in her hair, unfortunatley, 3 weeks later, you can barely see it anymore. I thought it was cute. Next time, I think we'll get a bigger streak LOL.