My strange neighbor came over to tell us he is getting a mail order bride..

["Got Disney"]

He is going to the Philippine's to get a mail order bride
He is about 40 years old and he will be over there for 2 weeks meeting woman that are 15-20 years younger than him to propose to and bring home on a Fiance visa....WHAT

His divorce just went through and he wants children in a bad way....talk about a mid life crises. He is a nice guy believe it or not and yes he is a little weired.

It was so hard not to laugh why he was telling us this and all I can think about is the poor girl he will be hooking up with.

Gee I'm 50 maybe I can go there and get a 25 year old man and bring him home as a boy toy....ummmm NAH...one mans enough trouble.

So do you know anyone that has done this before???? I can't wait to meet this girl that will hook on to him in order to get into the U.S. You here about all the abuse that happens in these relationships.

Cant see how anyone could want to do that....what say you?????

 

[DawnCt1]

[QUOTE="Got Disney";21969442]He is going to the Philippine's to get a mail order bride
He is about 40 years old and he will be over there for 2 weeks meeting woman that are 15-20 years younger than him to propose to and bring home on a Fiance visa....WHAT

His divorce just went through and he wants children in a bad way....talk about a mid life crises. He is a nice guy believe it or not and yes he is a little weired.

It was so hard not to laugh why he was telling us this and all I can think about is the poor girl he will be hooking up with.

Gee I'm 50 maybe I can go there and get a 25 year old man and bring him home as a boy toy....ummmm NAH...one mans enough trouble.

So do you know anyone that has done this before???? I can't wait to meet this girl that will hook on to him in order to get into the U.S. You here about all the abuse that happens in these relationships.

Cant see how anyone could want to do that....what say you?????[/QUOTE]

Art Bell???

 

[Mr Man]

I have known quite a few men (but never women) who have done this marriage contract thing over the years.......

Unfortunately, most of them ended badly that I am aware of..... then again over half of "traditional" marriages end badly so maybe it isn't much different.

For my part, no I could never mail order a bride. I prefer the old-fashioned way........laboriously struggle to find someone crazy enough to put up with me....and then dutifully lug around the pedestal to put them on.....

Here's hoping the strange neighbor finds happiness. I am all for the pursuit of happiness......

 

[EMom]

[QUOTE="Got Disney";21969442]He is going to the Philippine's to get a mail order bride
He is about 40 years old and he will be over there for 2 weeks meeting woman that are 15-20 years younger than him to propose to and bring home on a Fiance visa....WHAT

His divorce just went through and he wants children in a bad way....talk about a mid life crises. He is a nice guy believe it or not and yes he is a little weired.

It was so hard not to laugh why he was telling us this and all I can think about is the poor girl he will be hooking up with.

Gee I'm 50 maybe I can go there and get a 25 year old man and bring him home as a boy toy....ummmm NAH...one mans enough trouble.

So do you know anyone that has done this before???? I can't wait to meet this girl that will hook on to him in order to get into the U.S. You here about all the abuse that happens in these relationships.

Cant see how anyone could want to do that....what say you?????[/QUOTE]

I give you all the credit in the world for keeping a straight face. There are so many things that are hinky about this sort of thing that it's like a laundry list of "Things That Set Off Alarm Bells."

Enjoy the show.

 

[disneyfreakk]

I work with a guy who got a mail order bride. She promptly mailed herself back! He is a gross, weird little man and I cant say that I blame her.

On the bright side, it might work out for your neighbor since he is telling everyone the good news! Usually abusive men dont want anyone to know or have anything to do with her.

 

[barkley]

my cousin did this. he thought he was going to get a subservient, sweet little woman that would fullfill his wants for a 'traditional wife and mother'.

she was very sweet. she was also very much the traditional wife and mother SO LONG as he was in her opinion the traditional husband and father. she kicked his butt (figurativly) and would not stand for his lazy, slovenly habits. she told him 'you want me to be 'perfect wife'-you be 'perfect husband'-get a job, keep the job-get me a house to 'housewife', then we talk about having babies'

 

[olena]

my cousin did this. he thought he was going to get a subservient, sweet little woman that would fullfill his wants for a 'traditional wife and mother'.

she was very sweet. she was also very much the traditional wife and mother SO LONG as he was in her opinion the traditional husband and father. she kicked his butt (figurativly) and would not stand for his lazy, slovenly habits. she told him 'you want me to be 'perfect wife'-you be 'perfect husband'-get a job, keep the job-get me a house to 'housewife', then we talk about having babies'

 

[SandraVB79]

Yes, I "know" men who did this.
Usually, there is something with them that makes them different from the other men, so they can't find a bride. Sometimes, the fact that they are a farmer is enough for not finding a wife.
They go to the Philippines, Thailand, ... and come back with a bride.

The brides from their side do it in order to support their family. Sometimes they even have children at home. They send money home every month, and that way, support a lot of people.
This is usually their only alternative from prostitution.

If a wacko-man gets a mail order bride, abuse is common.
But sometimes, the "deal" works. I don't think the big Disney-style love will grow between them, but there will be respect and they'll find a way to live together.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I worked with a guy whose first mail order bride was a disaster so he got a second one. She was from Russia and came with a boyfriend who was in the Russian Moffia. That did not work all well either.

 

[mickeyfan2]

my cousin did this. he thought he was going to get a subservient, sweet little woman that would fullfill his wants for a 'traditional wife and mother'.

she was very sweet. she was also very much the traditional wife and mother SO LONG as he was in her opinion the traditional husband and father. she kicked his butt (figurativly) and would not stand for his lazy, slovenly habits. she told him 'you want me to be 'perfect wife'-you be 'perfect husband'-get a job, keep the job-get me a house to 'housewife', then we talk about having babies'

A women who would be willing to leave her family and land of birth to go to a new country with a man she does not know is not a weak women.

 

[munchkin bunchkin]

I worked with a guy whose first mail order bride was a disaster so he got a second one. She was from Russia and came with a boyfriend who was in the Russian Moffia. That did not work all well either.

 

[Acklander]

I know one guy who got a mail order bride. I'm not sure why he went that route since he previously seemed to date in the typical manner, was a successful business man, looked nice, etc.... but when it came time for marriage - he went for a mail order bride. Last I heard they seemed to be doing fine, married about 5 or 6 years and have one child; so it seems to work for them.

 

[RoyalMidnight]

I know a group of women who went to Dalian, China and all 8 of them came back with husbands. They're all pretty happy, too. In China, it's hard to find single women in rural areas because of the one-child rule that started about 40 years ago. They killed female newborns, and aborted female fetuses, but never gave a thought as to whom, exactly, their baby boy was going to marry when he grew up. Not one of these women weighs less than 300 lbs., and they got sick of trying to find someone in America.

So, I guess it works both ways.

 

[bjgrazi]

We have a friend who married a woman from China and 3 1/2 years later he still can't get her into the country. He was just there for 3 weeks.

He dated some hot women, but in his mind he wants a servant and thats why I think he went to China. She has a kid and ex-husband we often wonder what her motive is. He says they're in love and we always wish him luck. But ya can't help wonderin.

 

[malibuconlee]

I know a group of women who went to Dalian, China and all 8 of them came back with husbands. They're all pretty happy, too. In China, it's hard to find single women in rural areas because of the one-child rule that started about 40 years ago. They killed female newborns, and aborted female fetuses, but never gave a thought as to whom, exactly, their baby boy was going to marry when he grew up. Not one of these women weighs less than 300 lbs., and they got sick of trying to find someone in America.

So, I guess it works both ways.

I think it will be interesting to watch over the next decade or two and see what happens with China. We have friends who adopted from there and towards the end of their waiting for it to go thru they were getting concerned that they would change something for this very reason.

So many millions of men who will not be able to find spouses.

 

[Hercules10]

Can ya find out what service he's using and lemmee know?

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

my cousin did this. he thought he was going to get a subservient, sweet little woman that would fullfill his wants for a 'traditional wife and mother'.

she was very sweet. she was also very much the traditional wife and mother SO LONG as he was in her opinion the traditional husband and father. she kicked his butt (figurativly) and would not stand for his lazy, slovenly habits. she told him 'you want me to be 'perfect wife'-you be 'perfect husband'-get a job, keep the job-get me a house to 'housewife', then we talk about having babies'

Good for her!

A guy that lives in our town did this, he never got a bride though, he kept sending money overseas and no one ever came. LOL! They corresponded with him for awhile until he sent money .

 

[goofygirl]

[QUOTE="Got Disney";21969442]He is going to the Philippine's to get a mail order bride
He is about 40 years old and he will be over there for 2 weeks meeting woman that are 15-20 years younger than him to propose to and bring home on a Fiance visa....WHAT

His divorce just went through and he wants children in a bad way....talk about a mid life crises. He is a nice guy believe it or not and yes he is a little weired.

It was so hard not to laugh why he was telling us this and all I can think about is the poor girl he will be hooking up with.

Gee I'm 50 maybe I can go there and get a 25 year old man and bring him home as a boy toy....ummmm NAH...one mans enough trouble.

So do you know anyone that has done this before???? I can't wait to meet this girl that will hook on to him in order to get into the U.S. You here about all the abuse that happens in these relationships.

Cant see how anyone could want to do that....what say you?????[/QUOTE]

Does he already have children with the first wife? If so, he should take care of them instead of persuing a trophy wife and making trophy children.

If he does not have children and is "buying" this bride just to breed, I think that is so pathetic, and also demeaning to the woman.

 

[ducklite]

Not "mail order brides" but I know two couples who are of Asian Indian descent who are in arranged marriages.

In one case the parents selected the spouse for them, but they were given about six weeks of very chaperoned "dating" to get to know each other and either could back out for any reason--which seems like a similar scenario to the mail order bride one. They've been married about 20 years and have three kids.

The other couple met for the first time about an hour before the wedding ceremony. They were given ten minutes to speak privately to each other, and pretty much unless they had a really valid reason to object, it was a done deal. They've been very happily married for 15 years and have two children.

I also have another friend of Asian Indian descent who was in a forced arranged marriage that was very physically abusive, she's now divorced and no longer speaks to her parents who told her she must stay with her husband, even after he broke her arm for the second time. She immigrated to the US, and has started a new life here.

 

[punkin]

Not "mail order brides" but I know two couples who are of Asian Indian descent who are in arranged marriages.

In one case the parents selected the spouse for them, but they were given about six weeks of very chaperoned "dating" to get to know each other and either could back out for any reason--which seems like a similar scenario to the mail order bride one. They've been married about 20 years and have three kids.

The other couple met for the first time about an hour before the wedding ceremony. They were given ten minutes to speak privately to each other, and pretty much unless they had a really valid reason to object, it was a done deal. They've been very happily married for 15 years and have two children.

I also have another friend of Asian Indian descent who was in a forced arranged marriage that was very physically abusive, she's now divorced and no longer speaks to her parents who told her she must stay with her husband, even after he broke her arm for the second time. She immigrated to the US, and has started a new life here.

I see arranged marriages differently from mail order brides. Arranged marriages work out at about the same rate as non arranged. Usually families are involved. They carefully hand pick a spouse from a similar background who they believe will make their child happy. It's neither a better or worse way than we do it here.

Mail order marriages are between people of different cultures, economic status, (usually) age. There is a built in inequality that almost inevitable leads to problems.