My son got suspended from school today!

[minnieandmickey]

I got a phone call at work from my husband, which scared me cause he never calls at work. He said the vice principal from our DS school had called and that he had been suspended and I needed to pick him up (since I was closer). When I went to the school the VP said that DS(13)had been "rough housing " with a friend during break and that my son had poked him with a pencil, which she thought was an accident but state law requires suspension for it since a pencil is considered a weapon. She said she felt really bad for DS because he is a good kid, but her hands were tied. So for the next 3 days he is at home. She said he was lucky that the pencil didn't pierce the skin or it would have been longer. When I asked my son what had happened he pretty much said that they were rough housing and that he had a pencil in his hand, but didn't intentionally poke his friend with it but was an accident, which was what the VP said. His friend even apologized to him for him getting in trouble. So now I am trying to figure out how to punish him because he is a good kid and I believe it was an accident. All I do know is that my house is going to be spotless this week. Any advice?

 

[Smee]

As you say, your DS is a good kid so.........

I would let it go with the school suspension (althought I would require him to be doing school work and reading during his normal school hours.......no tv, video games, etc during those hours)
Chances are that he feels really bad about it all, and has learned all he can from the suspension.

That being said....I would definitely make it clear to him that IF something like this ever happens again...you will feel much differently about additional punishment.

Then give him a hug and tell him you love him!

 

[bfeller]

Since you say he is a good kid and by all accounts it was an accident. We all know that accidents happen and if you think that your son has learned his lesson about how rough housing can escalate then I believe that the 3 day suspension is all the punishment that he needs.

 

[RoqueC]

Not too good.

 

[Kallison]

I think the clean house punishment is enough and the threat to continue on the straight and narrow. Sometimes school beaurocracy(sp?) is so ridiculous.

 

[UncleKyle]

Sounds like the suspension is harsh enough. I say let the boy rent video games, movies and buy junk food and just enjoy his 3 day vacation.

 

[RoqueC]

I agree.

 

[minniecarousel]

I think you're on the right track. The clean house deal sounds about right. Maybe he can get a jump on long-term assignments (the ones my kids always waited until the night before they were due to do!) Will he be missing any tests? At DS's schools, if they were suspended, they couldn't make up any missed work, including tests - they received zeros on all assignments. You might want to check on that.

 

[robinb]

Originally posted by minnieandmickey
When I went to the school the VP said that DS(13)had been "rough housing " with a friend during break and that my son had poked him with a pencil, which she thought was an accident but state law requires suspension for it since a pencil is considered a weapon.

Man, welcome to the world of "Zero Tolerance". What a crock. I feel sorry for your son. Since everyone concerned thinks it was an accident I don't know why you would punish him more than the screwed up school system already has. Just make sure you talk to her teachers so he doesn't get behind in his school work while he's at home.

 

[WebmasterAlex]

I'm going to go with the crowd here. Seems to be that either you believe that it was a true accident or you don't. If you believe it was the punishment for goofing around with your friends should not be tough!

 

[mamajoan]

Minnie is right.. check school policy. My silly Ds took a laser pointer to school last year when the zero tolerance policy was still in affect at his H.S. Fortunately he was only suspended for a couple of days. However the principal made the exception to let him do all of his classwork at home and receive full credit for the work.. "good kid" who did a dumb thing.
The High School is now in process of reviewing Zero Tolerance Policies as they found that small infractions were incurring punishments that were out of balance. In theory Zero Tolerance is admirable.. however it may not be functional.

 

[jldriscoll]

I'd say, punish him if it ever happens again...but it sounds like he learned his lesson already.

Can he cook? maybe dinner for you and DH? LOL!!! Just kidding!!!

 

[Boots]

No advice but bunches of {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

 

[minnieandmickey]

Well while I was at the school I did ask if he could do any of the homework he would miss and the VP said no. I do know he has a spelling test on Friday, so I had him get the list from the friend that this happened to, his friend is feeling soooo bad right now. And he does have a science project due Friday so he will have plenty of time to do that now.

 

[Serena]

Zero tolerance stinks!

I would give him some stuff to do, but only to keep him busy. It was clearly an accident and trying to make up the homework after this is going to be hard.

My dd was suspended for telling another girl, that two other girls were planning to jump her after school. My dd got in trouble for instigating. 3 day suspension. We had a major disagreement with the school but they would't change their minds. I treated it like a 3 day vacation for her.
I would have felt horrible if she hadn't warned the girl and something had happened, but the school didn't see it that way.

 

[A kid at heart]

I rememeber those suspensions....LOL
I think he's been reprimaned enough for something that was an accident.

 

[KimRaye]

Originally posted by Smee
As you say, your DS is a good kid so.........

I would let it go with the school suspension (althought I would require him to be doing school work and reading during his normal school hours.......no tv, video games, etc during those hours)
Chances are that he feels really bad about it all, and has learned all he can from the suspension.

That being said....I would definitely make it clear to him that IF something like this ever happens again...you will feel much differently about additional punishment.

Then give him a hug and tell him you love him!

I agree completely.

Will he be home alone during the suspension? Not that it matters, just wondering.

And, like mamajoan said, Zero tolerance is admirable but, just try explaining it to a kid in pre-school.

 

[wovenwonder]

My DS/13 got detention last week for Poking the child in front of him -- I guess I should be glad that it was only one detention! Story goes that child#1 thru an eraser at child#2 and child#2 thought my son did it. So he took my sons pencil -- and my son poked him [he was sitting in front of my son] to get his attention and get the pencil back. All three of them received detention. No punishment at home for DS -- he did the deed at school and received the punishment there. We try to keep home/school seperate as much as possible unless something were to get really out of hand.