My sister just called me and is freaking out - **small update**

[raysnkaysmom]

ok..I'm thinkin the 'hitman' theory and the 'time to move' idea are a bit much.
She definitely needs an alarm system, the locks have been changed, and she can/should stay with friends or relatives on an inconsistent basis. The police are involved, and she needs a R.O. I dont' want to 'under-react' but I think over-reacting is a bit much too....

Keep us posted...

 

[NotUrsula]

At the bottom of a Tracfone package, along with the SKU number, it lists the phone's ESN or IMEI serial number. It probably gets scanned at the same time the stores scan for the price. Tracfone pre-paid cell phones were linked to some terrorist activity & car bombs after 9/11. So in an effort to clean up their reputation and stop phones being used that way, Tracfone, particularly is trying to keep track of where all their phones are being shipped to and sold at.

Probably, other pre-paid cell phone companies have the same semi-security procedures.

It's very possible that the soon-to-be Ex had watched enough crime dramas to know that if he had carried his own phone into the house and it rang while he was there, that the nearest cell tower to the house would have logged the call. That would have definitely placed him in the neighborhood, if not at the house. And if his regular cell phone is a Verizon phone, it would have definitely had GPS tracking capalbilites that would have placed him right at the house.

I'm wondering if he purposely carried a new, prepaid phone instead, in case he had to make a call while at the house. Or if he was expecting the call that did happen that time the DSis heard the phone ring. She had come home a lot earlier than expected and was home for 10 minutes when the phone rang.

Personally I'm going to go with the idea that *if* the intruder was the ex, he bought the phone to communicate with someone that he didn't want tracing him back; probably his ex-wife. That way he could be a harassing phone caller without getting caught. I doubt that leaving it behind was deliberate; just accidental. Still, it probably served the intended purpose anyway, which would be trying to convince her that being alone without a man in the house was inherently unsafe.

If the intruder was not her husband, it makes a lot more sense. Poor people and criminals use black-market prepaids all the time, and they are always switching to new ones. Black-market prepaids are readily available, and you don't have to worry about the scan at Walgreen's keeping track when you buy it on a street corner from some guy who stole 200 of them from a warehouse. Seeing as how this was purchased at a Walgreen's, and with cash instead of a bogus credit card, my money is on the husband. Criminals tend not to spend their own money on things like this.

I've posted before that I was victimized by an identity thief that opened a cell account in my name and had it shipped to a vacant address. The police told me that people who do this tend to do it about 30 times daily, and they re-sell the phones to illegal immigrants who use them to make international calls until the service is cut off for non-payment. There are all kinds of ways to avoid the recording capabilities of cell phones, often merely by misdirection.

Also, BTW, it's easy to erase all record of past incoming/outgoing calls from the phone itself -- I do it. It wouldn't help me if someone got a court order because the company keeps a record, but I don't like having all that data visible if someone got hold of my phone.

 

[mickeyboat]

I might have missed it, but if they knew when and where the phone was purchased, they could check the store's time-stamped video surveillance to find out if the ex purcahsed the phone.

 

[Jennasis]

Also, they can look at the phone records and determine WHERE the incoming call was coming from (based on what cell tower it pinged from).

 

[WDSearcher]

Am I the only one who's wondering if the ex is on the DIS, reading all of this and staying one step ahead because he knows every single move that his ex-wife and the OP are making? I mean ... I suppose it's incredibly amazingly remarkably unlikely ... but the OP has all this info about the house ... the dogs ... the police ... pictures of her daughter (who the ex would surely recognize) ... etc.

Call it paranoia run wild if you will, but there's a lot of personal stuff divulged in these posts. There's no possible way he'd stumble upon this, is there?

 

[raysnkaysmom]

Am I the only one who's wondering if the ex is on the DIS, reading all of this and staying one step ahead because he knows every single move that his ex-wife and the OP are making? I mean ... I suppose it's incredibly amazingly remarkably unlikely ... but the OP has all this info about the house ... the dogs ... the police ... pictures of her daughter (who the ex would surely recognize) ... etc.

Call it paranoia run wild if you will, but there's a lot of personal stuff divulged in these posts. There's no possible way he'd stumble upon this, is there?

scary.... hopefully since its his SIL, he hasnt a clue........

 

[N&B'smom]

So some believe the Ex put the phone there for the purpose of freaking her out. What would he benefit from that? I just don't get sneaking into someone's house and planting a phone just to call it and freak someone out.

 

[jmpurdy]

I still think he inadvertently left it there, knowing she wouldn't go up there as OP stated they never went up there. He knew it was safe and ran up there when she came home early, dropped phone, got out of the house and called the # to find the phone when he realized he lost it. Where is OP???

 

[Disney Doll]

OK, if I was wife, now that it's been a few days and I am over the inital freak-out, I'd start to sit and really think...

~ Would STBex-H really have it in him to put a contract out on me?

~ Would STBex-H really have it in him to kill me himself?

If the answer to either of the above questions is "yes"... a true and honest and resounding "yes", then wife needs to take as many precautions as necessary to protect herself, including window locks, alarms, changed door locks etc.

If the answer to the above questions is "no", then we have to go along to the next line of thinking:

~ Would STBex-H have enough on the ball to think about doing something sneaky like "planting" a cellphone in the house just to scare me?

If the answer to the above is "yes", then don't give him the satisfaction of knowing that he has scared you. Work with your attorney to get the best possible deal with regard to your divorce decree and child support and visitation.

If the answer to the above question is "no", then the next question is

~ What was he doing in the house?

~ What was he looking for?

~ What was he planting?

~ How did he get in?...and out???? Without wife or anyone else seeing him???


These are the mysteries....

 

[Maggimus]

LOL... Dh and I have been scammed out of THOUSANDS of dollars- an we got more out of a private investigator that we knew than the police.

 

[ilovejack02]

I still think he inadvertently left it there, knowing she wouldn't go up there as OP stated they never went up there. He knew it was safe and ran up there when she came home early, dropped phone, got out of the house and called the # to find the phone when he realized he lost it. Where is OP???

Op only on during day time work hours I think. Prob off work today or off work early.

 

[fall08CP]

Bumping this back up, hoping for an update! I've been reading this since day 1 and dying to hear the outcome. For some weird reason I think it is someone other than the husband, but who knows. If he had been in the house before, I can't see why he would go upstairs if he knows that there is nothing up there. It wouldn't be weird for a thief to have an untrackable, blank phone. I hope they work on this case until it gets solved!

In a way I'm happy the phone was left there. Imagine what could have happened had she not found it... someone might have still be in the house unknowingly Even if they had escaped, she would have had no idea and they could have returned later. Creeeeeeepy!

 

[Rora]

I think Disney Doll brings up a really good point. I also think we need to calm down a little-- hit man? The last thing we want to do is freak the OP out even more.. . While it's true that anything is possible, we should try to be.. optimistic? and hope that it certainly has nothing to do with a hit man.

OK, if I was wife, now that it's been a few days and I am over the inital freak-out, I'd start to sit and really think...

~ Would STBex-H really have it in him to put a contract out on me?

~ Would STBex-H really have it in him to kill me himself?

If the answer to either of the above questions is "yes"... a true and honest and resounding "yes", then wife needs to take as many precautions as necessary to protect herself, including window locks, alarms, changed door locks etc.

If the answer to the above questions is "no", then we have to go along to the next line of thinking:

~ Would STBex-H have enough on the ball to think about doing something sneaky like "planting" a cellphone in the house just to scare me?

If the answer to the above is "yes", then don't give him the satisfaction of knowing that he has scared you. Work with your attorney to get the best possible deal with regard to your divorce decree and child support and visitation.

If the answer to the above question is "no", then the next question is

~ What was he doing in the house?

~ What was he looking for?

~ What was he planting?

~ How did he get in?...and out???? Without wife or anyone else seeing him???


These are the mysteries....

OP, I hope you pass Disney Doll's post along to your sister as it may hopefully bring some logic into this situation.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

Yanno...I was just sitting here thinking too.... I'm amazed that as soon as the cop showed up asking the ex about the situation he didnt' immediately call her and ask what was going on.. I mean, his kid is there!!! That just makes me beleive more that he knows whats up.....

OP, hows your sister holding up?

 

[SharkyGoddess]

Here's a net geeks suggestion... STOP USING YOUR COMPUTER!!!!


It's been bugged to record every single thing you say and do and is remotely sending it all back to either your STBX BIL's or someone he knows computer for divorce evidence. IF your sister's STBX was in the house, or had someone else go into the house at a time he knew she would be gone, he did it with an intention. Now, whether the intent was to do her physical harm, or to gather evidence remains to be seen. More than likely it is to gain evidence against her for his divorce attorney and his case. There are probably cameras hidden in the house that he can have transmit video back to his computer or DVR to record her interaction with their child and accuse her of child abuse or neglect, or he can keep an eye on any and all company she has. It is in her VERY best interest to have as many friends and family as possible come into the home and literally take it apart looking for the tiniest of nook and crannies (as crazy as it sounds) to find any and all hidden transmitters, both audio and video. The phone itself could have even been left on purpose to "turn on" the transmitters. This may sound nuts... but this type of equipement is cheap and all over the internet for any one desperate enough to buy. Especially someone going through a divorce.

Good luck to your sister!

 

[Imzadi]

The DH's visit could have been very non-sisnister. Nobody seems to have thought of this as Hit-man ideas are more dramatic.

He may have simply let himself in, knowing the DW & kid weren't going to be around because he was nostalgic. He used to live there with them. Maybe he just let himself in, because he wanted to look around, because his son is still there. at one time they were a family. He didn't want to do it while DW was there. If the phone hadn't been left, she never would have known anyone had been in there. Nothing had been disturbed.

The OP did say he's kind of emotionally unstable.That might have seemed an okay thing for him to do. The next day he emailed about wanting shared custody of DS. Maybe the visit set off some nostalgic feelings. Of course, it didn't last very long as the next day, he didn't want it anymore.

 

[Maggimus]

Here's a net geeks suggestion... STOP USING YOUR COMPUTER!!!!


It's been bugged to record every single thing you say and do and is remotely sending it all back to either your STBX BIL's or someone he knows computer for divorce evidence. IF your sister's STBX was in the house, or had someone else go into the house at a time he knew she would be gone, he did it with an intention. Now, whether the intent was to do her physical harm, or to gather evidence remains to be seen. More than likely it is to gain evidence against her for his divorce attorney and his case. There are probably cameras hidden in the house that he can have transmit video back to his computer or DVR to record her interaction with their child and accuse her of child abuse or neglect, or he can keep an eye on any and all company she has. It is in her VERY best interest to have as many friends and family as possible come into the home and literally take it apart looking for the tiniest of nook and crannies (as crazy as it sounds) to find any and all hidden transmitters, both audio and video. The phone itself could have even been left on purpose to "turn on" the transmitters. This may sound nuts... but this type of equipement is cheap and all over the internet for any one desperate enough to buy. Especially someone going through a divorce.

Good luck to your sister!

Please do not take this the wrong way, but who in their right mind thinks like this? Honestly? While some people do have irrational thoughts-- I highly doubt there are that many out there who have thoughts or indeed carry out actions such as these. Maybe this man doesn't have intentions of cutting her throat or leaving her in the gutter-- maybe he just went to grab a camera or possibly scope out the place. Or as a previous poster said, erase an email he had sent to her or something. LOL... I feel like this is building up to be the next movie plot. We don't even actually know that it was him (although signs do point that way).

You told the OP to stop using her computer. That "Its been bugged"... first off, the OP doesnt live with the sister, and how would you know her computer has been bugged?

Here is something logical to think about....

Does the OP's sister have tax returns filed? In a divorce, its very important to have tax returns and bank account statements on hand. He may have possibly gone to collect these and get them copied, and brought back before she noticed. He may have felt as though he couldnt just ask her for them. He may have needed these for his lawyer.

That does not explain the phone. But who knows... maybe he has cancelled his verizon plan (was the OP's sister on that plan as well? Maybe he didnt want to have the joint account or it was too expensive)... and he just got it or something? He may have known that things would be changing, ie. child support payments would have to be made, so he got out of the plan when he could?! Who knows..

 

[bumbershoot]

Here's a net geeks suggestion... STOP USING YOUR COMPUTER!!!!


It's been bugged to record every single thing you say and do and is remotely sending it all back to either your STBX BIL's or someone he knows computer for divorce evidence. IF your sister's STBX was in the house, or had someone else go into the house at a time he knew she would be gone, he did it with an intention. Now, whether the intent was to do her physical harm, or to gather evidence remains to be seen. More than likely it is to gain evidence against her for his divorce attorney and his case.

With the exception of the statement to stop using the computer would need to go to the sister, not the OP, I think that's worth thinking about. If there's no password to her computer, or if he knows the password, if it was the ex, he could have put keystroke tracking software on it. It's possible. Good thinking!



I know it's scary to think about all the dramatic stuff some have thought of, but gosh, anyone who has barely looked at the news knows how often people seem to think it's fine to take out their family. How many have I seen the news the last couple weeks?

It's been enough that I've actually had a conversation with my normal, average, kind husband, telling him that if he lost his job or we were divorcing, and he got overly upset about the money or whatever, that we could go live with my brother or my dad, no big deal, even my stepdad...we have many people who would take us in, it would be OK. If we were divorcing and he was freaking about child support so much so that he was thinking of killing us all, just tell me and I'd go live with any of the people already mentioned (with DS) and he wouldn't need to pay money. I'm sure there are just more being reported and perhaps there aren't MORE than usual, of these incidents but it's just being reported nationally more now, but it's freaking ME out, and I don't get freaked out by the news usually.



This situation is worth being scared about and worth sister doing something about. *someone* was in her house when no one should have been there. Someone left a phone whether accidentally or on purpose. I can tell you, if I had that situation, and it wasn't our landlady or her husband, and if it wasn't the condo association people, I would not be here at this condo right now. I'd have gone to CA to be with family, I would have hubby staying at a friend's if he coudln't get off of work. I'd be OUT, and I don't know how long I'd be gone. Someone was there that shouldn't have been, and that's scary, no matter who it was.

 

[vettechick99]

Please do not take this the wrong way, but who in their right mind thinks like this? Honestly? While some people do have irrational thoughts-- I highly doubt there are that many out there who have thoughts or indeed carry out actions such as these. Maybe this man doesn't have intentions of cutting her throat or leaving her in the gutter-- maybe he just went to grab a camera or possibly scope out the place. Or as a previous poster said, erase an email he had sent to her or something. LOL... I feel like this is building up to be the next movie plot. We don't even actually know that it was him (although signs do point that way).

This thread reminds me of something I learned about in my psychology classes. It's called Occam's Razor, "The simplest theory is often the answer."

But I do love everyone's explanation for why that phone was there! We all watch waaaay too much tv.

 

[SharkyGoddess]

Please do not take this the wrong way, but who in their right mind thinks like this? Honestly? While some people do have irrational thoughts-- I highly doubt there are that many out there who have thoughts or indeed carry out actions such as these. Maybe this man doesn't have intentions of cutting her throat or leaving her in the gutter-- maybe he just went to grab a camera or possibly scope out the place. Or as a previous poster said, erase an email he had sent to her or something. LOL... I feel like this is building up to be the next movie plot. We don't even actually know that it was him (although signs do point that way).

You told the OP to stop using her computer. That "Its been bugged"... first off, the OP doesnt live with the sister, and how would you know her computer has been bugged?

Here is something logical to think about....

Does the OP's sister have tax returns filed? In a divorce, its very important to have tax returns and bank account statements on hand. He may have possibly gone to collect these and get them copied, and brought back before she noticed. He may have felt as though he couldnt just ask her for them. He may have needed these for his lawyer.

That does not explain the phone. But who knows... maybe he has cancelled his verizon plan (was the OP's sister on that plan as well? Maybe he didnt want to have the joint account or it was too expensive)... and he just got it or something? He may have known that things would be changing, ie. child support payments would have to be made, so he got out of the plan when he could?! Who knows..

I won't take it the wrong way, but the women who have suffered at the hands of their STBX's who have done just this sort of thing would. It happens. Believe it or not, there are websites out there that instruct men on how to do just this sort of thing, no matter how "movie plot", or nutty it sounds, it is very much a sick reality. Until you have been the victim to such a sick, twisted mind, don't go around passing judgement or looking down your bubble wrapped nose at others.

As for telling the OP to stop using their computer, I was referring to the SIL.