My sister is dead - UPDATE regarding THIS thread page 15..

[mom2boys]

C.Ann - What terrible news! My heart goes out to you. I hope youy find answers to your questions. If you think this "man" could be a threat to your niece, please contact social serivces where they live.

 

[PamOKW]

I'm very sorry about the loss of your sister. I'm a little confused about how you finally did find out. Did you try to contact her and got the husband who told you what happened? Or did he contact you to finally let you know what had occurred? Had you been trying to reach her over the years or had you lost contact?

If you really want answers I think you are going to have to personally make some contact rather than trying to do it through general searches on the web. If you can't travel in person, you can probably do it by phone. One place to contact would be the funeral director that handled the arrangements.

 

[bclydia]

Oh dear C.Ann! I am so sorry for the heartbreak you are going through. I can understand how difficult it is to be estranged from family. My mother's sister has been out of contact with us for about 6years or so now. I don't have anything to add to the very good advice you've been given here. You are in my prayers and I hope you find the answers you need.

 

[denisem]

My sympathies during what I'm sure is a hellacious time for you.

I concur with contacting either a PI, an attorney, or police with as much information on your sister you can collect - ALL (former) names, addresses, SSN, military info, etc., along with whatever info you have on BIL and niece.

As one who formerly did "minor" skip-tracing for a collection agency, there ARE more powerful Internet search engines available to those with resourses.

I think in the long run, the money would be well spent to resolve this matter...although I appreciate/relate to your need to "do whatever you can this weekend".

Denise < --- lives in Detroit suburb, wishes you well.

 

[C.Ann]

Originally posted by PamOKW
I'm very sorry about the loss of your sister. I'm a little confused about how you finally did find out. Did you try to contact her and got the husband who told you what happened? Or did he contact you to finally let you know what had occurred? Had you been trying to reach her over the years or had you lost contact?

If you really want answers I think you are going to have to personally make some contact rather than trying to do it through general searches on the web. If you can't travel in person, you can probably do it by phone. One place to contact would be the funeral director that handled the arrangements.

----------------------------------

"He" contacted us - out of the clear blue sky - the day before yesterday.. The hows and whys are back on page 7 - I'm just too tired to repeat it all right now..

Unfortunately - it being a weekend (and a holiday weekend no less) - the web has been my only source of information for the time being.. Hopefully I can make some phone calls tomorrow and get the answers I need..

At this point I have no idea who the funeral director was that handled her burial.. "He" wouldn't even divulge where she was buried.. It was 6_time_momma (Kristy) who put her detective skills to work via the internet and found that information for me - for which I will be eternally grateful..

I'm hoping tomorrow will bring if not all, at least "some" of the answers I need....

 

[KathyTX]

We hope so, too, sweetie.

 

[C.Ann]

Someone on this board just sent me a PM with a link to a government DOT site where they list all accidents and fatalities that have occured on both private and public railroad tracks.. You can search by state, date, all railroads, accident or fatality, etc..

There is NO RECORD THERE indicating my sister was struck by a train!!

I am definitely going to have to call the police tomorrow and request any info they might have...

This has gone from "mysterious" to totally bizarre !!!

 

[swea_pea1]

C. Ann,
Just got back from a weekend away and logged on to find this news. Words escape me except to say that I'm very sorry for your loss. Good luck in your search for truth. (((((((Hugs)))))))

 

[dzneprincess]

C.Ann I can only imagine what a weekend this has been for you. Please keep us updated, as this is truly intriguing.

 

[KingsFanInRI]

Ann, just a thought before you spend the money on a P.I.

if there is a criminal investigation to be done here I can only imagine that city, county and state police may be able to do just as well. To theorize one step further, since she was former military, perhaps you may be able to get help on a federal level. Like I said, I could be 100% wrong about this (please, someone correct me if I am), but it's worth looking into. One way or another you are due some answers. In any event, I still wish you swift and total justice and perfect peace.

Be prepared for a wild day tomorrow. Try your best to get some rest, but don't try the two sleeping pill thing again

 

[C.Ann]

I have to admit, I'm starting to feel very "rattled" again - on the verge of being unable to form rational thoughts or intelligent conversation..

There are important phone calls to be made tomorrow and I don't want to come across as being totally unglued or overly suspicious..

Do I contact the police first?

The VA hospital?

Some other military source?

And what the heck do I say? If I logged on here and read all this babbling, mystery, and intrigue I would be wondering if the OP had "totally lost it"...

My Dad always said, "You never get a second chance to make a first impression" - so it's imperative that I am rational when I make these calls and my questions and concerns are presented in an orderly fashion..

If anyone has suggestions, feel free.....

You have been lifesavers for me the past two days!

 

[MerryPoppins]

No advice for you, honey, but I'll pray that you can remain calm and choose the right words. I understand what you mean. I get rattled when I'm upset too. I think this all sounds very suspicious. Sounds like something out of a movie or novel, not something you would expect out of your real life. Hang in there. Maybe you can get some answers tomorrow.

 

[DMRick]

There is NO RECORD THERE indicating my sister was struck by a train!!

I searched that last night and didn't see her..but I also didn't think it was up to date, as I searched for someone locally here, and they weren't on the list, although it was in all the papers...and I knew they had been hit by a train.

I think I would start locally. Call your local police force and ask if they would be willing to make any inquiries for you. If they say no, you haven't lost anything.

Then, I would call the cemetary, and see if they can lead you, by looking in their records to a death certificate, which should have cause of death on it. Then I would move on to the police. Myself..I coudn't do it without crying (I'm just so darn emotional), so perhaps you should have a friend, who is less likely to be emotional, with you when you call...so you can hand them the phone, if you need to.
Doris

 

[rrsafety]

I think I would start locally. Call your local police force and ask if they would be willing to make any inquiries for you. If they say no, you haven't lost anything.

This is similar to the advice I gave earlier and I still think it is the way to go. There is no reason for you to be trying to solve this by yourself on the Internet, just ask for an appointment to speak to an officer, they might even send one out to the house, give him some coffee, sit in the living room and ask for their help (people like to be able to help).

If you are feeling frazzled, then write down the important points the police will need to know on a piece of paper and have it with you when you have your meeting (leave out the annoyances the brother in law has caused, the police aren't interested).

I would tell them that your brother in law called a couple of days ago to inform you that your sister had died two years before and that you are seeking assistance in confirming her death, the whereabouts of her remains, and, most importantly at this point in time, the circumstances of her death.

Let the police know that it is the two year lag in notifying the family that has lead you to be suspicious, and if they could make a few calls to confirm things and to put you in touch with the right people in the right counties that you'd be appreciative.

I would be surprised if the police didn't pick up the phone and have some answers for you relatively shortly. If possible, have another family member or friend with you to keep you focused, on track, and talking sense. The police get turned-off quickly when it appears that a few phone calls might actually turn into a massive emotional intervention. Best of luck....

 

[Serena]

I totally agree with rrsafety. Call the police. They know where to call and who to talk too, they can get you the answers you need. Or at least they can do a better and faster job than you are able to do. The dis has been great, but I think it's past time for the police to get involved.

{{{{hugs}}}}

 

[DoeWDW]

I also think that calling the cemetary is a good idea. At least you know she's there. See what information they can give you.

Best of luck with this C. Ann. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

 

[susy]

C.Ann,

My first thought was to contact the supposed railway company to see if they have record of the accident. I WOULD NOT ask the person who told you of the accident for any info. If they have any responsiblity you don't want to tip them off. Let the police handle it.

 

[Princess_Aurora]

I think the advice that someone gave about writing everything down is good. When your emotions start running high, you usually tend to forget things or start going out of order. Write everything you know down in cronilogical order and have it with you when you talk to the local police. I also think they'll be able to get you some answers pretty quick. If they're unable to find anything, then you might want to consider that PI.

 

[susy]

C. Ann,

Okay, now I have gone back and read page 7. This is starting to scare me. Do you know for sure that ANYTHING he has said is the truth? Is there an actual child? Is he remarried? WHO is this man? If he is remarried, I fear for that woman. My sister was also married to a man who tried to isolate her. He didn't change the phone number on us, but he did change it if any of her girlfriends got a hold of it. He did not like us around and eventually moved her (and the kids) to another state. They did move back and he started cheating on my sister. She kept taking him back. He finally left her (THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and is married to someone else now. He is not half as bad as this guy sounds. How do you know that your sister has not been dead even longer than two years? When was the last time that someone actually spoke to her? The phone call was meant to be cruel and ruin your holidays, make no mistake about it. He is taunting you all. I am so mad right now......

 

[KathyTX]

Originally posted by DMRick
I searched that last night and didn't see her..but I also didn't think it was up to date, as I searched for someone locally here, and they weren't on the list, although it was in all the papers...and I knew they had been hit by a train.

I think I would start locally. Call your local police force and ask if they would be willing to make any inquiries for you. If they say no, you haven't lost anything.

Then, I would call the cemetary, and see if they can lead you, by looking in their records to a death certificate, which should have cause of death on it. Then I would move on to the police. Myself..I coudn't do it without crying (I'm just so darn emotional), so perhaps you should have a friend, who is less likely to be emotional, with you when you call...so you can hand them the phone, if you need to.
Doris

C. Ann, I agree with Doris's ideas. Your local police may be able to help you sort through some of the answers quickly. They will have access to records beyond anything we can find on the internet. They will be able to contact authorities in other jurisdictions if they find any leads. And if they can't help, you've lost nothing.