My sister is dead - UPDATE regarding THIS thread page 15..

[cassie]

Oh C.Ann...I am just nutty trying to figure this out. So, so sorry for the way you learned of your sister's death. I too would hire an investigator....if this jerk divorced your sister, why weren't you informed? As family, I assume "if" she was in a mental hosp. and he divorced her, then I can't understand why family wasn't contacted to pay her hosp bill. I'm sure he wouldn't pay it.

Really fishy story. Look very hard at the "facts " he sent you. I'm so sorry you have to go thru this...but please think about an investigator...if this guy is responsible for your sister's death, let's nail him.

 

[C.Ann]

Originally posted by cassie

if this jerk divorced your sister, why weren't you informed? As family, I assume "if" she was in a mental hosp. and he divorced her, then I can't understand why family wasn't contacted to pay her hosp bill. I'm sure he wouldn't pay it.

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He "claims" that he continued to pay all her medical bills, visited weekly, gave her "spending" money (what would she need money for in a mental institution?), took her on "outings" (something he said in reference to that was a huge slip up, but I can't post it here), etc., etc.

A real "Prince Charming".....

 

[gshoemate]

I don't know if this will help but here is a place where you can search archives from a Battle Creek Newspaper. http://www.obitcentral.com/obitsearch/counties/mi-calhoun.htm

 

[floridafam]

In Michigan, your death certificate must be recorded in the county that you die in.

Whatever county the railroad tracks were in is where her death certificate would be recorded.

I think BC is in Calhoun County.

I worked for the Kent County Clerk and your death certificate MUST be filed in the county of death.

 

[rrsafety]

Regarding the Death Certificates, are you checking for them online or in person? (I guess not in person as it is a Saturday..)

If you are checking for them online, you might have to wait until Monday to actually talk to someone. I believe that in some states, the DCs of people who were listed as suicides are difficult to obtain (privacy issues, etc.)

Did you say that your sister and her husband were divorced? If so, you are the legal next of kin and NOT the ex-husband so you have control over the estate. Use that to your advantage in pursuing any investigation.

Also, if they were divorced while she was hospitalized you would have been able to visit her without his permission as he no longer had any rights as next of kin, etc.

As for the poster who told you to "just ignore me" because I've not posted much since I joined two years ago, I don't think such advice would be helpful. There are lots of wonderful and informative people on this board who don't post a lot but do take an interest when someone is in need. If some of the questions I mentioned that were likely to be asked by the police seemed pointed it is because they are the kind of questions investigators ask and you might as well know it before you persue the matter.

And not to defend the brother in law in this case, but lots of people tell stories to their spouses about their families that are not true and give the spouses a distorted view of the persons upbringing. Moreover, if a person is suffering from a mental instability, such stories might be exceedingly exaggerated and awful. The spouses of such people often believe that they are doing a service to their wife/husband by keeping the "bad family members" away. Only after much time do some of these spouses realize that stories told by the mentally unstable spouse about her family are untrue. I'm not saying that this is the case here, but it is always a possibility.

Just the little advice I have (ignore if you want). Again, my thoughts are with you. Good luck.

 

[floridafam]

The previous poster does have a point, the police WILL ask you all sorts of questions. Even things you may find upsetting. They have to look at the situation with an open mind.

If you do seek help of the law enforcemnt just be prepared for a lot of questions and be patient.

Good luck.

Not all counties in MI have their vital records online.

This is the link for ordering a copy of a death certificate in that county.
http://www.co.calhoun.mi.us/docs/death.html

The area where this happened could have been in another county.

 

[Hagred]

The closest counties to Calhoun (where Battle Creek is located) are kalamazoo and Eaton. There's one above Calhoun, but I can't remember the county name.

Best of luck in your search.

 

[C.Ann]

Originally posted by rrsafety
Regarding the Death Certificates, are you checking for them online or in person? (I guess not in person as it is a Saturday..)

If you are checking for them online, you might have to wait until Monday to actually talk to someone. I believe that in some states, the DCs of people who were listed as suicides are difficult to obtain (privacy issues, etc.)

Did you say that your sister and her husband were divorced? If so, you are the legal next of kin and NOT the ex-husband so you have control over the estate. Use that to your advantage in pursuing any investigation.

Also, if they were divorced while she was hospitalized you would have been able to visit her without his permission as he no longer had any rights as next of kin, etc.

As for the poster who told you to "just ignore me" because I've not posted much since I joined two years ago, I don't think such advice would be helpful. There are lots of wonderful and informative people on this board who don't post a lot but do take an interest when someone is in need. If some of the questions I mentioned that were likely to be asked by the police seemed pointed it is because they are the kind of questions investigators ask and you might as well know it before you persue the matter.

And not to defend the brother in law in this case, but lots of people tell stories to their spouses about their families that are not true and give the spouses a distorted view of the persons upbringing. Moreover, if a person is suffering from a mental instability, such stories might be exceedingly exaggerated and awful. The spouses of such people often believe that they are doing a service to their wife/husband by keeping the "bad family members" away. Only after much time do some of these spouses realize that stories told by the mentally unstable spouse about her family are untrue. I'm not saying that this is the case here, but it is always a possibility.

Just the little advice I have (ignore if you want). Again, my thoughts are with you. Good luck.

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I was not offended by your previous post at all.. I was obviously so distraught last night that the bits and pieces I was throwing out on this board were making little to no sense at all.. You made some valid points - and somehow I have the feeling that you are either in the field of law enforcement yourself - or have an inside knowledge of how it works.. An example would be the statement that you just made above in regards to the "privacy" issues surrounding the death certificate if it were in fact a suicide.. That didn't occur to me - but it would occur to someone with more knowledge in these areas..

I also agree that if my sister had been suffering some sort of long-term mental problems there is no telling what she might have said to her husband - but I really don't think it's likely..

The ONLY information we have right now is the information that "he" sees fit to dole out in bits and pieces.. While I can't post it all on this open board, there have been some very contradictory statements that are even more confusing than my own ramblings here.. The whole "divorce" issue itself is murky due to certain things he has said so on Monday I will be making some telephone calls to see if those records are open to the public in Michigan..

I appreciate your taking an interest in this and bringing up valid points that I may have to deal with.. I came here asking for help -and I will graciously accept any help that comes my way..

It's an ugly situation and like it or not, I will have to deal with anything and everything that comes my way during my quest to learn the truth..

Thanks again for your insight..

 

[cassie]

rrsafety...you have some good points. Sorry you think we may have treated you as a newcomer without merit. I have been a lurker too, and when I found the perfect niche to reply too...well. they didn't take me too seriously either. Welcome to the Dis and keep up with your suggestions.

 

[floridafam]

Death records are public in Michigan, no matter how the person died. You can go to the County Clerk's office and purchase a copy or send for one. You may need to call first and explain that you don't have all of the information and they can do a little research for you.

Do you know for a fact that she is deceased?

You should be able to find a lot more out on Monday.

You may be able to do research with the cemetary where she is buried-didn't you say you knew the location? You can possibly find out who owns the plot, etc.

 

[C.Ann]

Originally posted by floridafam
Death records are public in Michigan, no matter how the person died. You can go to the County Clerk's office and purchase a copy or send for one. You may need to call first and explain that you don't have all of the information and they can do a little research for you.

Do you know for a fact that she is deceased?

You should be able to find a lot more out on Monday.

You may be able to do research with the cemetary where she is buried-didn't you say you knew the location? You can possibly find out who owns the plot, etc.

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Social Security has her listed as deceased - and the date of death matches what he told us.

She was formerly in the military - and is buried in a military cemetry in MI. Kristy sent me the link from the cemetery that identifies the plot she's buried in, her name, rank, etc.

 

[Scratch42]

am very sorry!

Can only send you a

Scratch

 

[floridafam]

Do you suspect foul play?

Do you know if her child is receiving Social Security benefits related to her death?

Do you know if she died in Calhoun County?

Do you think she is the woman in the article he sent you?

Please, start recording your phone calls if you are legally able to whenever he calls you.

What all do you know about her X? Do you know his full name, birth date, etc?

 

[C.Ann]

I'm not sure I suspect "foul play" - as in he may have actually "murdered" her - but I suspect his "actions" may have contributed to her demise..
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I would assume he is receiving SS for my niece - can't think of any reason he wouldn't be..

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To the best of my knowledge, the "accident" occured in Battle Creek.. If Battle Creek is in Calhoun County, then yes - that's where she is supposed to have died..

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Is she the woman in the newspaper article? That's the one thing that at this point in time I have no way of knowing for sure.. The age of the woman is correct, but they did not release the name of the victim..
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We have little to no information on him at all.. I know his first and last name - his email address - and the fact that he doesn't work.. I believe he too may have been in the military..
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Within the last 24 hours I also received information that indicates he may have been married once before - prior to marying my sister - and he now claims he is married again..

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Not a lot to go on - but I'm still digging..

 

[Princess_Aurora]

I've been reading this silently for the past couple of days. I wanted to add my apologies. I also wanted to tell you that you might want to check to see if they were legally divorced. It's weird that she kinda had a mental breakdown or however he put it and then he's suddenly happily married again??? Divorce (and marriage) records are public and I think you can go to google and do a search for divorce records.

Again, I'm sorry for the way you had to find this out. It's such a horrible thing. Blessings are sent out to you and your family and I hope you find all the answers you're looking for.

 

[bobcat]

I too want to offer my condolences and hope you find what you are looking for.

The one thing that keeps coming to mind is why did he call you up out of the blue? If he is an abuser then this is still a control issue and he gets off by pulling your strings. I keep thinking that this may be about money. If he divorced your sister then he isn't the next of kin and I am wondering if either an insurance policy or maybe a legal setlement with the railroad may be an issue. I could be way off base here so take this thinking aloud with a grain of salt. I don't think social security payments for your niece would be an issue because I believe they will go to who ever has custody of the child since they are for the welfare of the child.

The suggestions to hire a PI sound good. They can get this info quickly and if they are local then they probably have inside info, especially in a smaller community. Best of luck in your search.

 

[Laura]

I don't have any advice, C.Ann. I just wanted to wish you luck as you search for the truth.

 

[Mamu]

Ann My deepest condolences on the loss of your sister. Losing a sibling is painful enough, but not finding out about the loss and the circumstances surrounding her death is something that would drive anyone into a frinzy.

I think you need to sit down and think this through calmly. You can search and search and maybe you'll get answers as to where she is buried or what may have happened.

You need to hire a private detective to answer the questions you want answered. Until then you will never really know the truth.

I feel your pain, and wish you all the best in your search for the truth. Good Luck.

 

[Marla Hellwig]

I am sorry to hear this and keeping you and your family in my thoughts at this difficult time - hugs

 

[kaseyC]

C. Ann, I am also one of those who do not post often but your situation kept me up last night. The idea of a private investigator is great. You might also want to contact your local Police Department. I would suggest that you go to the department in person. Tell them everything you shared with us on the board as well as the things you could not share. Print out all emails from you exBIL as well. Be calm and concise, so that they know you mean business. Your local or state dept. might be able to do a "Courtesy Inquiry" (that's not what it is called but its the only way I can think to describe it) with the Battle Creek PD. If she was hit by a train, the PD will have a record of it. They would have done some form of investigation before ruling it suicide. At least this could possibly get you some info on whether she died the way you exBIL said or if something else happened.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time.