My neighbors don't want anything to do with us....

[kathy387]

We're fortunate to live in a friendly neighborhood. Of course, one of my sisters lives "kittycorner" from us, my Mom and Dad live 2 houses up on the otherside of the street, my nextdoor neighbor is my brother-in-laws sister, the people across from my Mom and Dad have known me since I was 10,and another girl 2 doors down also grew up in the nieghborhood with us. The people across the road however do not associate with anyone in the neighborhood. The rest of us watch each others kids, attend cookouts,graduation partys,birthdays, ect.. and the guys frequently get together in the middle of the road for a beer {we live on a quiet street!}. As more and more subdivisions are going in around here tho, I think some people just come from different "backgrounds" where they haven't been used to people being so friendly. I work at a local business where I meet alot of "transplants" and that's one of the things that I hear over and over again..."I can't believe how friendly everyone is here"....so your not alone. Some people are accustomed to just keeping to themselves.

 

[sugarpie]

Don't feel bad - I have a next door neighbor who often goes for walks and if she sees we're outside she'll cross the street to avoid having to say "hi" to us. Then she will cross the street again once she has passed all danger of someone speaking to her. She does it every time. I don't think anyone has ever talked to her. Her husband is such a nice guy, too. I don't get it.

We're pretty friendly with the rest of the neighbors, though. I don't want to be best friends with them or anything but everyone is really nice.

 

[Michie]

I'm waving like an idiot and they are just staring at me like the idiot I'm being.......

Maybe they cant see you. My neighbors to the south of me, are wavers, They are always sitting out front in the evening. When I pull into my driveway at a certain time of the afternoon/evening, the sun is in my eyes,it bounces of the basketball goal and I cannot see them. My DD always says "wave Mom"

 

[sajetto]

Guess I'll just have to work on the wave a few more times. Maybe there's a glare on my windshield or they just don't see me from my porch

 

[mom2boys]

Just keep waving - they'll catch on eventually. We live on a friendly "country" road. We got new neighbors about two years ago - right next door. Nice people - they always chat but it took them a couple of months to realize that we wave to one another up here.

 

[mrs.explorer1977]

sajetto --

We moved into a new subdivision at the end of April too and still don't know many of our neighbours.

like you, we're "kidless" as of yet, and just married last September, so we don't have that "play date" connection with a lot of them.

my DH jokes that we should start trying for kids just so our neighbours will talk to us.

I figure once we all have grass (yes, the subdivision is THAT new!!) it'll be better because we'll all be outside more.

just don't let it get you down. things will warm up soon for both of us i'm sure!!

(ps: i'm envious of your disney wedding!! i got a disney honeymoon and the promise of a disney vow renewal in 10 years, but i would've given my first born for a disney wedding! shhhhh...don't tell the mr. though!!)

 

[sajetto]

I figure once we all have grass (yes, the subdivision is THAT new!!) it'll be better because we'll all be outside more.

just don't let it get you down. things will warm up soon for both of us i'm sure!!

(ps: i'm envious of your disney wedding!! i got a disney honeymoon and the promise of a disney vow renewal in 10 years, but i would've given my first born for a disney wedding! shhhhh...don't tell the mr. though!!)

Thanks Mrs. Explorer! This subdivision is almost 20 years old and people are out in their yards a lot because of the season, but some of them have also been here since the subdivision began so they may have their own cliques. For now I'll just let it go, but I hope I at least get a wave soon.

Oh, BTW my wedding isn't one of the large ones it is an intimate wedding at the pavilion and we are only having a max of 18 guests, but we wouldn't have it any other way. No drama, and minimal stress A vow renewal will be so much fun and you'll love it. Sadly, the DF has told me I have to wait 25 years before he will agree to a renewal.

 

[MBeds]

There seems to be a neighbor like that on every block...Just keep waving and smiling....They love that...

 

[Cool-Beans]

Non-neighborly neighbors drive me bonkers!

We've got one Super-religious family that tells everyone they meet that they're going to hell. They pretty much keep to themselves, which is probably for the best. And one old racist couple, same deal.

Other than that, we all get along and are there for each other. It's just a street, not a subdivision, but everyone is friendly, the kids are free to play everywhere except those two yards.

I hope your neighbors warm up to you. Groups of people who get along make nice neighborhoods, I think.

I forgot about NEW GUY...a single guy! He's not talking to anyone. I brought him some brownies - I always do it, kind of a Welcome To Our Street thing - and he said thanks, but looked at me funny and hasn't said "Peep" since. Hmmmmmm.

Not everyone wants to be friendly/neighborly. Some come around, some never do.

Good luck with yours!

 

[ducklite]

We have 37 houses in our subdivision of a large master community. While we haven't had the opportunity to meet everyone yet, we know everyone on our cul de sac and the last bit of the street leading to it--a dozen houses--except one family. This one family moved in last fall and has been almost rude to the rest of us--to the point there's some tongue wagging about it in a very "ungossipy" neighborhood. We have no "nosey" neighbors, just good "neighborly" neighbors. Everyone gets along great, smiles and waves, and if you ever need anything you know that you just have to ask--if they haven't already offered. Of course you get to know some people better than others based on your age, kids, DINKS, or empty nesters, interests, etc.

However one family REALLY sticks out. About four or five times a year someone will throw a party and invite the entire neighborhood. While some of the neighbors rarely attend these events, at least they send regrets. This one couple doesn't even RSVP. At first we thought that perhaps they don't speak English all that well and were uncomfortable, but another neighbor who is of the same ethnic background has tried several times to strike up a conversation and has been shot down in flames. (And we are an ethnically diverse neighborhood, so that shouldn't be an issue to anyone.)

I can understand that some people prefer to keep to themselves, but even those people smile and wave as you pass each other. But IMHO this one couple has crossed the line from "private" to "rude." Their loss, you couldn't ask for nicer neighbors.

ETA--I've tried twice to strike up a conversation with them, I keep an eye on the house between us and them for the owners who live in the UK, so I've seen them in their driveway a couple times while I was walking the neighbors property or going into their house to check on things and walked over to say hi. Both times they've answered with one word answers and gone back inside. The mom who lives on the other side of them ahs had the same experience, so it's not "just me."

Anne

 

[sajetto]

We've got one Super-religious family that tells everyone they meet that they're going to hell. They pretty much keep to themselves, which is probably for the best. And one old racist couple, same deal.

Holy Smokes! The more I read responses the more I think that I should just take a clue and stay to myself...what if my neighbors are like yours?

 

[Luv'sTink]

Screw them! Sorry, that was probably inappropriate! Anyhow, life it too short to worry about it, you have made an effort and that is all that matters!

 

[caitycaity]

sajetto - i need to move in to your neighborhood! dh and i are closing on our first house tomorrow and i am afraid everyone will be coming over and in our business (we are not moving for awhile, but we will be there doing renovations).

dh and i are private people. i will wave and smile, but i am afraid we will be considered unfriendly if we don't go around introducing ourselves.

 

[Strawberry Lemonade]

We moved into our neighborhood 5 years ago and we're only friendly with neighbors in 1 house. They happen to be the neighborhood gossips so we at least get all the dirt on the other neighbors. I can see all the neighbors across the street walking across each other's yards and knocking on each other's doors, but no one has ever come to our house. I think it's because we live on a corner next to the "mean" family in the neighborhood. It's an older couple with grown children. They were the types to yell at kids in their yard which I imagine they must have done a lot of since we live less than a block away from an elementary school. There is no one else on the other side of the mean family so I guess our neighbors don't want to come over and risk encountering them.

We went to a neighbor's tag sale last summer and they finally introduced themselves and said "welcome to the neighborhood". At that point, we'd already lived there 4 years.

I may not know their names, and no one came over with any housewarming cookies or anything (I only mention that because my mom is bringing cookies to her new neighbor today), but at least a lot of them wave to us.

 

[LukenDC]

I have had the same neighbor for the past six and a half years. We live in an apartment building and our doors face each other across a small, secluded hallway. My neighbor has not said one word to me in the six plus years that we have lived across from each other. For the first couple of years that I lived in the building, I would say hello or wave, but I never received any response and I have long since stopped all friendly gestures since they are clearly unwelcome. If I am exiting my apartment at the same time he is, he will reenter his apartment, close the door, and lock every lock. He does not make eye contact with me. He has posted a very large No Trespassing sign on his door.

My neighbor appears to be mentally ill, so I give him his space and do not take his unfriendliness personally. I would much rather have a reclusive neighbor than one who is nosey or constantly bothering me.

 

[lclark0621]

When I loved at home, back in NY, we knew hardly anyone in my neighborhood. We lived on a street with about 20 houses on it. I think we knew 2 neighbors by their names. We would smile & wave at another 2. But that was it.

When DH & I moved to TX, it was kind of a culture shock. Everyone in our neighborhood wanted to know us and be in our business. We did not like that much contact.

Now since people have moved & the neighborhood was changing we know 4 families by name, are friendly with 1 of them. Smile & wave at some, and others, well we just dont acknowlegde each other. No one dislikes each other, it is just we rarly see each other, I couldn't recognize them & they wouldn't know me either.

I like it better this way. I dont mind being friendly with people, but sometimes I just want to GET in my house, or GET in my car & go. And some people just dont get you are in a rush. And I certainly dont want the whole neighborhood to know my business, which would happen if I were "friendly" with some of them.

I have found that yard work tends to draw people out. So if you really want to meet your neighbors, go outside, plant some plants, trim some bushes, etc. Try & do it when your neighbors are out doing the same & strike up a conversation.

 

[NMAmy]

In our current neighborhood, folks are friendly but a bit reserved. Our next door neighbor did stop over when we were moving in and I chat with him when I see him outside but I rarely see his wife. His grandkids will always come over to see the puppy. A state representative lives two doors down but the only time I see her is when she's campaigning. Then she's my long-lost good buddy.

Our backyard is surrounded by huge pine trees which makes it very private. Our new puppy has been our introduction to the neighbors back there. They have a dog that she likes to run along the fence with. I finally met them once I climbed under the trees to get back there and capture her. I think I scared the heck out of them by popping out from underneath a pine tree one day.

Our neighborhood in New Mexico was much friendlier--but people in general were friendlier there. Much more likely to strike up a conversation with a stranger. I knew my neighbors very well there which was nice.

 

[Nancy]

I have lived in my house for almost 19 years. I talk to one neighbor that lives to the right. The neighbor to the left has been here 4 years and I will wave and say hi, but I don't even know their names. I nod to the lady across the street. I don't know anyone else, so if they waved to me I'd be thinking "who the heck is that?"

 

[Stitchfans]

I've been living in my house for 13 years and all of us are still just smiling and nodding at each other. Guess it isn't the "in thing" to be friends and talk. When I was little all of our neighboors were good friends and we all socialized together. Guess those days are gone.

 

[VanniGirl]

We have only lived here for about a year and a half and only the neighbors on one side say hello, chat etc... Of course we did move in on the same day so we have something in common. Everyone else on the block seems nice, but has never said hello - but they do wave.

Now, the old biddy on the other side (I know not PC but you have no idea) One of her things to to every morning was to bring any trash that might be on her lawn and put it in our driveway. I watched her one morning while I was warming my car, go around and pick up wrappers, coffee cups and the like and place them on my property - like it was all from me . I rolled down my window and asked if I could help her - she told me she was returning my stuff . You can bet we were thrilled when the for sale sign went up