My neighbors don't want anything to do with us....

[Becky2005]

This has been an interesting thread. I think I would just continue to wave or ??

Our neighborhood isn't one for waving if you don't know the person -- I know if someone was waving at me and I had no clue who they were I would just be sitting there being totally . I would probably wave and then try to figure out "who was that?" Of course, if they were waving from a house that I knew had recently been on the market, I would assume it was new neighbors.

I have lived in this subdivision for geez, 12-13 years...previously on one street and I was fairly good friends with my next door neighbor (the ones that moved in after us -- not the ones previously) but then they moved. We then moved to a larger house on a different street in the same subdivision, I STILL don't really know the neighbors that well (and we have kids the same age). They, however, are friends with the neighbors on the other side, so I always feel like we are somewhat in the way and never want to intrude when their kids are playing together with my kids being out there.

It's a nice neighborhood in that most people keep to themselves HOWEVER, if there is ever a need for anything, neighbors will come out of the woodwork to help. We saw it in action at least once at our old house (neighbors I didn't even know existed came out to help with that situation) and not too long ago had a neighbor call us when DH decided to grill in the middle of winter and had large flames go shooting up. They were calling to check things out and make sure our house wasn't going up in flames. It's not a neighbor I talk with often but I do know who they are.

I like it this way, just enough to make it nice but not so friendly that everyone knows everyone else's business.

 

[lecach]

Sajetto: Arent you in NC too? I am a little surprised - people are usually too friendly around here. Im starting to wonder what our new neighborhood will be like now. We are in the middle of a strip of 3 houses. We move in first so I guess we'll just make the first step and introduce ourselves. Hope they are friendly....

Our old neighborhood was very friendly - we pretty much knew everyone across and beside us.

 

[desiab]

If I were you I would just keep waving, but that is just the type of person that I am.

I would agree with the poster who mentioned people's background places a part in how friendly they are. I have lived in our small town all of my life and most people wave to each other whether they know you or not. My DH on the other hand came from a fairly large city and they just didn't do that unless they knew exactly who you were. Imagine the culture shock for him when we got married!

The neighborhood I grew up in (our house was the last house on the dead end street) everybody knew everybody. My mother would cook and send plates to the three elderly ladies next to us. My brother and his wife now live in that old family home and my sister bought the house across the street when one of the nice older ladies passed. The neighborhood has definitely changed as the younger set has moved on the block, but everyone still pretty much knows everyone and does their best to keep an eye out if help is needed.

Our new neighborhood isn't quite as familiar for us. We helped to diversify the neighborhood and I think they are still getting use to having us here. With the exception of one house, I know all the people on my street by name. After Hurricane Katrina I felt like we definitely became a tighter neighborhood, with the exception of that same one house and family on the end.

Either way continue waving. That way you will know that you at least tried to be nice.

 

[redshoes]

We moved into a new home last month and the neighborhood is not real friendly. They are ultracompetitive, though. Right now they are in the middle of a landscaping challenge- someone gets a few trees and someone else get a few trees, some huge rocks and professional flower beds, it just goes on and on. Every weekend they try to one up eachother, on the bright side our neighborhood is going to look great. Sadly, they are so busy competing against eachother they aren't really friendly.
It's strange when you come from a neighborhood where everyone was friendly and happy to see you. I have tried to make an effort to get to know people and to be honest, I don't think I've found any lifelong friends here. But, give it time and I might be surprised. Like anything it takes time to build relationships. My best advice is to be friendly, really you're not out anything. If your neighbors chose to be unfriendly that's their choice.

 

[sajetto]

Either way continue waving. That way you will know that you at least tried to be nice.

That's what I'll do. I don't mean that I want to be best buds with everyone on the street and I actually do enjoy my privacy so I wouldn't be thrilled if folks just waltzed over to my house whenever they liked, but at the same time I'm used to everyone giving a smile and a wave. It wouldn't kill anyone to be friendly.

In my parents' neighborhood everyone was familiar with one another because of the HOA and they would give their nods, waves, and the occasional christmas card, but they weren't hanging out with each other or shooting the breeze. That's all I was hoping for, just a little bit of good ol' southern friendliness.

 

[Laurajean1014]

We live in a newer subdivision (6 years old) and no-one talks to no-one. No waves, nothing. We are the yougest family on the street and most do not have kids and if they do, they are all grown up or in high school (I have a 4th grader).

So, we hang out with non-neighbor friends and chalk up our great home on a icky street.

 

[MommyPoppins]

Within a month of moving into our first home, someone egged us. We had to stay home from church and spent the whole morning cleaning it up. After that we never had any problems. We had wonderful neighbors. Except for Chester, Chester the Molester...But most the time he was locked up. Our neighbor across the street was sweet as can be as long as you realized and respected her place in the neighborhood. She was the head bully and if you didn't bother her, she didn't bother you. But the last year we were there these people moved in behind our house. We always waved at them, always, and they never waved back. We finally decided that they were white haters because apparently all our hispanic neighbors were quite friendly with them. Oh well. We sold that house and when our new one is built there is only 1 house within eye sight of ours and they have a whole passel of kids like us. SO I'm sure we'll get along fine.

 

[sajetto]

MommyPoppins are you just trying to make me feel better or are you for real

 

[Sleepy]

....we wave and smile when we pull into the subdivison, but don't even get a wave back.

I was never a "cup of coffee and a few hours of conversation" kind of person with my neighbors. I would say hi and wave, but that was about it.

I moved here 2 years ago. Did the usual wave thing. The people would look at me like I had a 3rd eye. The next door neighbors would return the hi, but the rest in the neighborhood gave me the stare. It was not until recently that I realized in this culture, waving at a stranger was just not the thing to do. (well, unless you were trying to pick someone up.....ehem). Really, it;s just not the thing to do to be friendly with total strangers. I did not see them as strangers. I was their neighbor and just wanted to let them know I was in the neighborhood and was trying to be nice. I also found out that asking a stranger "How are you" is considered hypocritical. They basically wonder why a stranger would care how they are if they will never see them again. I still wave when I drive by

 

[MommyPoppins]

MommyPoppins are you just trying to make me feel better or are you for real

I'm for real. I glad to be out of there, though I do miss the few good neighbors.

I also forgot to mention the renters when we first moved in there too. They lived at the end of the block...they sold drugs out of their house.

 

[sajetto]

I'm for real. I glad to be out of there, though I do miss the few good neighbors.

I also forgot to mention the renters when we first moved in there too. They lived at the end of the block...they sold drugs out of their house.

Your experience has caused me to just say....."Thank God I live in this subdivision full of unfriendly neighbors! "

 

[teacherforhi]

I don't speak to my neighbors. I have no desire to get to know them. Just because they live across the street doesn't mean that they aren't "strangers". Actually, they're pretty darn strange period. I've never understood why people seem to think that geographical proximity means we're going to be best friends. Leave me alone and I'll leave you alone.

 

[lecach]

Sajetto: you know how I said I was surprised that your neighbors werent friendly since people in NC usually are? Well we've been in our new house for 3 weeks now and have found that the neighbors to one side of us are the same as yours! The wife is very friendly. But the DH - not so much. The first night we were there I was on my way to Lowes (25 mile roundtrip) and thought I would ask the neighbors if they needed anything since they were putting in wood floors (they didnt want to pay the builders upgrade price so they did it themselves). The wife said yes - they really needed duct tape and could I check the price of the jigsaws. Of course I said yes. The jigsaws were only $20 so I called DH and had him walk over to see if they wanted it. They said yes. I got home and took the tape and saw over there and the wife was gone. I handed the items to the DH and he didnt even say thanks - much less ask me how much he owed . The next day the wife came over and paid me.

Then last week we received the delivery of our trash carts. The neighbors cart was still there on the 4th so we assumed they were gone for the 4th holiday. So we moved their cart for them so it wasnt obvious they were gone. I saw the husband on the 5th and said "you guys must have been gone for the 4th - we saw your trash cart still out yesterday so we moved it for you - didnt want anyone to realize you were gone". He said "yes". And nothing else. No thank you, no nothing. He's just downright unfriendly. The people in the development office said he was mean with them. And the builder was very annoyed with him too. I think he's just generally not a nice person.

Luckily the retired couple on the other side of us couldnt be nicer. And the couple whose backyard faces our backyard is great too - and she is a pediatric resident (which I love since I have an accident prone toddler!).

Oh well - I guess you just never know what kind of neighbors you're going to get!

 

[sajetto]

Oh well - I guess you just never know what kind of neighbors you're going to get!

That's the truth! I still haven't had anyone warm up, but it doesn't bother me anymore. I was really suprised considering all the NC neighborhoods I've lived in over the years, but oh well.

It sounds like since you've guys have gone out of your way to be helpful and friendly a thank you wouldn't kill them!

 

[SplshMtn99]

My neighbors are great....EXCEPT for 1 who lives right next door. We don't talk to him or his girlfriend at all if I can help it.

He's been spotted many times by many people (myself included) doing lewd acts in the front window & front door. Police can't do anything except talk to him since he's in his own condo.

But last year, we was spotted performing a lewd act in the 2nd story window of any empty office at his work. ARRESTED!!!!

 

[WDWfan36]

Just keep waving. theirs really nothing else you can do