My In-laws are worse than your In-laws!

[Principessa1284]

Oh! I just thought of another good one. After we had been dating for about 2 or 3 months, we went on a date at Animal kingdom. The next day, he posted a few pictures of us on Facebook in front of the Tree of Life. It was July so it was quite warm - I was in a tank-top and shorts. Thankfully he hadn't tagged them yet, because MIL commented, "Yes I can see why you like her, her [name for a lady's chest that starts with t] are hanging out. I don't think I want to meet her if those are hanging out all the time." SERIOUSLY?! Did she think I'd never find out she said that?? Knowing her, though, maybe she WANTED me to see it so I'd leave her son alone. Though, she's not that great with technology, so I'm pretty sure she thought no one except DH would be able see it. In any case, my shirt was a little bit low-cut, but it's nothing I wouldn't wear in front of my grandmother or even to a church picnic. DH immediately removed the picture, and from then on we've blocked ALL pictures we post on FB from her.

I was so terrified to meet them for the first time I wore a shirt that buttoned up to my neck and long pants. They didn't really like me dating their son from day one mostly because I wasn't an anglo-saxton and us I-talians have Moor (Arab) in our blood.

 

[Nutmeg999]

This makes me want to run away and cry. i have to go move in with my in laws in two months,

 

[usnuzuloose]

Is there a way to just move close? I had to live with inlaws for a long time without a choice. After a while it can take a toll.

 

[Jennasis]

MIL lived with us for almost a year when DH and I moved to NC and she came down with us. Worst year ever. I should've known then!

 

[Lehuaann]

.

 

[jeepgirl30]

I have to say over the last year my MIL has really come along way. My SIL passed away and I think it made her realize I'm not so bad. MIL is not a very warm, loving person and always showed her emotions by sarcasm.

When i was pregnant with DD she called me at work to tell me she just got her life back and was not going to be babysitting my kid while i went out drinking. I was completely shocked! she had just divorced FIL and they had married young but at no point had i ever mentioned her being a babysitter and certainly not so i could go party!

When DD was around 5 she started getting freckles, MIL said "oh it looks like a fly pooped on your face" only used the swear word to poop. DD answered right back "Mommy says it is angel kisses and i like that much better"

When DS was born she walked into the room and said "he doesn't look like anyone, you were traveling a lot last year weren't you?, when exactly did you go on your last trips and my son talked to you about that yet?" insinuating i was cheating and son is not my DH's. I love it because now EVERYONE says DS is DH's mini me. Even she admits it.

Of course none of it was ever infront of DH. I told him once about a nasty comment and when he asked she denied it and turned it around so he thought i misunderstood her.

tomorrow is my bday and she sent me a nice card with a starbucks gc in it! i'm pleasantly surprised. And yes dis'ers, i'll send a thank you!

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

For the kids' savings account, you actually MAY be able to do something!! If they were set up as a "PUGMA" (Pennsylvania Uniform Gifts to Minors Act) or "PUTMA" (PA Uniform Transfer to Minors Account) and if she was the custodian of that account, she has to answer to the state for any withdrawals made. The withdrawals must be used towards the benefit of the kids (clothes, school, camp - I believe are some valid reasons). Until the kids are 14, you as the parent can press for an accounting of the funds. If the kids are over 14, they can request info from the trustee/guardian of the account themselves.

Even if MIL was the only one who made deposits, once she made a deposit to a PUGMA/PUTMA account that money was no longer hers even if she is the guardian or trustee of the account.

Do you know how much was in the accounts?

if you find out about this, let us know. This is interesting......

 

[JanDave]

They didn't really like me dating their son from day one mostly because I wasn't an anglo-saxton and us I-talians have Moor (Arab) in our blood.

I have Moor (Arab) blood because I'm Italian???!!!! I learn something new every day! Tell your m-i-l that you are proud to be Italian!

After all these posts, I have to say that for the moms who have posted or moms who are reading these posts, this thread is a good lesson in how not to treat your d-i-l.

I have one d-i-l and we have a very good relationship. I tell my son that if they ever divorce, he has to find a new mom because she's my "daughter"! It's a family joke, but he gets my message!

I can't even imagine interferring or being so cruel to my kids, their spouses and their children. I would have been disowned after the first incident.

These above mentioned/above described mothers-in-law need a check up from the neck up........

Jan

 

[cornflake]

the time when she pulled my bathing suit top off in front of about 25 people & thought it was hilarious - seriously - wouldn't that be sexual harrassment & grounds for calling the cops?!?!

Well, it's not sexual harrassment and sexual harrassment isn't any grounds for calling the cops, so no.

 

[tlbwriter]

Well, it's not sexual harrassment and sexual harrassment isn't any grounds for calling the cops, so no.

It's not sexual harassment, but under other circumstances it would be considered sexual assault, wouldn't it?

 

[spacemountainmom]

It's not sexual harassment, but under other circumstances it would be considered sexual assault, wouldn't it?

Whatever it was, it was obnoxious behavior by the MIL.

Really? Who does THAT?

 

[ginna74]

if baring ones ****s without permission isn't sexual harassment and assault then I don't know what is lol, and yes I would call the police and make a report!!!

 

[tlbwriter]

if baring ones ****s without permission isn't sexual harassment and assault then I don't know what is lol

Sexual harassment has a very specific definition. It's not simply anything that's both sexual and inappropriate.

 

[Jennasis]

Sexual harassment has a very specific definition. It's not simply anything that's both sexual and inappropriate.

Perhaps it might fall under a kind of sexual assault?

 

[tlbwriter]

Perhaps it might fall under a kind of sexual assault?

I think so; that's what I said earlier. Assault, not harassment. Although I doubt it would ever be prosecuted, considering the circumstances (some people in law enforcement aren't inclined to arrest family members for something like this).

 

[IUTBAM]

Here's a copy of some posts that I made in the past.

Thanksgiving this year was at my BIL and SIL's house. They decided not to do anything fancy and served the food buffet style and everyone had to find a place to eat. There were about 20-25 of us all together. They only have 2 tables in the house that each sat about 6 so that left the rest to eat with their plates on their lap.

My youngest DD is disabled and uses a wheelchair. She isn't able to feed herself so I (or DH) have to do it for her. That's really difficult to do with a plate on your lap so I took her upstairs to eat at the dining room table as the other table was already full with teenage kids (not mine but from the other side of the family). I don't really know them well enough to ask them to move so that we could eat there.

My BIL and SIL are at the table with us. About 1/2 way through, BIL comes over behind DD and gets down on his hands and knees. He's looking at her wheelchair but doesn't say anything to me. He goes upstairs and comes down a few minutes later with a rug. He tells me that DD's wheelchair scratches their wood floor and if we have her chair in the living room or dining room, there has to be a rug under it. He said that last time we were there, they noticed all kinds of scratches in the floor from her chair.

I look at him completely shocked. First of all, I can't believe that her chair scratched the floor. There are two bicycle type wheels with two other rubber wheels up front. We've been to several other homes that have wood floors so I called all of them and asked them to be honest and tell me if they've seen any scratches. They all said no and asked me why I thought that the rubber wheels would cause scratches.

The second thing that made me mad is if he didn't want us in there, why didn't he (or his wife) go ask the kids at the other table to move upstairs so that we could sit there?

My DH is very angry! We're supposed to go there for Christmas but he's thinking about not going. If DD's chair is not wanted in their house, to us it's the same as saying that DD is not welcome there as the chair is and always will be part of her.

Keep in mind that DD is rarely, if at all, acknowledged by these cousins, aunt and uncle. They will greet DH or I with a hug and not even look at DD even though she is right in front of us because one of us is pushing her chair.

This post was made one month later.


I posted last month about a problem that we had at Thanksgiving. Because of that, we decided to have Christmas at our house. In the end, we invited all of our family (both sides) and had a very nice dinner.

When it came time to open presents, my older DD helped my younger DD open her gifts. Because she's disabled, she isn't able to do it on her own. When all of the gifts were opened, we cleaned up the paper. After several families had left, I asked my older DD who the gifts were from. All of the gifts were accounted for but we still didn't see anything from my BIL and SIL. We brought the bag of paper garbage back into the house and dumped it on the floor going through it piece by piece but only found paper and tags with her name on them from the gifts that were accounted for.

DH called over to their house and found out that sure enough, they hadn't brought anything for DD.

I have a special needs son, and your post brought tears to my eyes. I don't even KNOW these people and I'd like to go to their house and personally rip them a new one. There's a special place in hell for people like that. I'm so, so sorry.

 

[cornflake]

Yeah it might fall under a general assault - I can't think of any sexual assault statute it'd meet, no - but I think a cop would be fairly inclined to roll his or her eyes at an assault complaint because a family member thought it was funny to pull a top down. It's not going anyplace with the DA, let's put it that way.

As noted, sexual harassment has a specific definition that has nothing to do with that behaviour, and sexual harassment isn't criminal regardless, it's civil.

 

[Angelrose]

JanDave, we have a lot in common. I have a wonderful DIL. I couldn't have designed a more prefect wife for my son. She always includes me in everything. Sometimes she even includes me when she is going out to lunch with her friends. I would never dream of giving advice on raising her kids. She does an awesome job. She helps take care of me in so many ways.

When the hurricane came here, she insisted that I come to her house and spend the weekend. She was afraid for me being alone. She called me mom from the time she moved in with my son. She is just a beautiful person, inside and out.

Believe me, I thank God for her every day. My son ain't too bad either. LOL

 

[Rekenna]

Guys, what's up? I read every page of this thread and I've never done that before. Are you out of stories? Seriously, I was late to work this morning because I stayed up too late last night reading this thread. I apologize for getting so much enjoyment out of your misery. Please, carry on.

 

[spacemountainmom]

Guys, what's up? I read every page of this thread and I've never done that before. Are you out of stories? Seriously, I was late to work this morning because I stayed up too late last night reading this thread. I apologize for getting so much enjoyment out of your misery. Please, carry on.

My in-laws are scheduled to arrive on Saturday.....I'll see what I can do.