My In-laws are worse than your In-laws!

[Rekenna]

My in-laws are scheduled to arrive on Saturday.....I'll see what I can do.

Thank you for your participation.

My mil passed away 3 years ago, I miss her. She had her moments, she was bi-polar, for real, but she never changed my bridal registry, or ignored any of us when we were sick. She did clean my microwave once and she told me she wanted me to throw away my wicker bathroom cabinet because it looked like 'crap'. My mother passed away when I was 14 so DH doesn't have a mil experience, although my sister is about to drive him nuts. My FIL and his wife have told us that they don't want to watch our boys b/c DS4 has autism and has to be watched, so they can't get hammered while he is at their house. My dad just talks about when he is going to die, like every conversation. So I've just told the boys they don't have grandparents just me and DH, and we are pretty boring.

 

[bas71873]

My FIL and his wife have told us that they don't want to watch our boys b/c DS4 has autism and has to be watched.

Rekenna, that just hurts my heart. My cousin's child, so I guess he's my second cousin, is autistic (he's 16 now), but my aunt & uncle are SOOOOO good with him, always have been, and it's such a relief to my cousin & his wife to be able to have a date night or travel with their daughter's field hockey team and know that Jackson is in good hands with people who love him unconditionally. to you!

 

[spacemountainmom]

Thank you for your participation.

My mil passed away 3 years ago, I miss her. She had her moments, she was bi-polar, for real, but she never changed my bridal registry, or ignored any of us when we were sick. She did clean my microwave once and she told me she wanted me to throw away my wicker bathroom cabinet because it looked like 'crap'. My mother passed away when I was 14 so DH doesn't have a mil experience, although my sister is about to drive him nuts. My FIL and his wife have told us that they don't want to watch our boys b/c DS4 has autism and has to be watched, so they can't get hammered while he is at their house. My dad just talks about when he is going to die, like every conversation. So I've just told the boys they don't have grandparents just me and DH, and we are pretty boring.

That's so sad. I am sorry you have to deal with that.

It's been 20 years since I had any grandparents and I miss them all so much.

 

[Anna_Marie]

Guys, what's up? I read every page of this thread and I've never done that before. Are you out of stories? Seriously, I was late to work this morning because I stayed up too late last night reading this thread. I apologize for getting so much enjoyment out of your misery. Please, carry on.

Okay, I'll add more

My MIL has had issues from the beginning with me "taking" her son away from her (that was just her perception). He lived at home until he was 28 and bought his own house. I was his first serious girlfriend. He just never wanted to date, he liked to fish and hunt and just had no time for girlfriends. Also, SIL is 40 and just recently moved into MIL's other house. When SIL would talk about getting her own house, MIL was horrified and convinced SIL she can't make it on her own. (Despite her having a job that paid well.)

The first Christmas DH and I were dating he hung Christmas lights on my house for me. When MIL found out, she bought some for her house and told him, "If you can put up lights for your girlfriend then you can put up lights for me." Never had she expressed wanting Christmas lights till then.

Another time we met them at a restaurant to eat. MIL and SIL were sitting in the middle of a bench, when we approached I sat down on the end, and DH stood beside me. MIL said, "Come sit over here by your mother. You don't have to stay next to HER." (I would have had no problem whatsoever with him sitting next to her, it was the WAY she said it.)

I made DH a cake (early in our marriage). We were at her house and it was mentioned and she nastily said, "was it better than mine?" to which DH said yes!

Even as recently as a few months ago, she asked how my lilys had turned out - she had given us bulbs the previous year. I playfully poked DH and said, "he never planted them!". To which she seemed really happy about and said, "Oh, am I going to start an arguement?" Like she wanted us to!

Her attitude and all these things done over the years has made me just not to hardly be able to stand being with her. I would have never "taken her son" -- I have 3 boys of my own and hope to have a wonderful relationship with future DILs. In fact, I am still friends with their old girlfriends - I treat every girl that they date as if they could be THE ONE. I guess I should be grateful to MIL for showing me how not to be.

 

[Rekenna]

Rekenna, that just hurts my heart. My cousin's child, so I guess he's my second cousin, is autistic (he's 16 now), but my aunt & uncle are SOOOOO good with him, always have been, and it's such a relief to my cousin & his wife to be able to have a date night or travel with their daughter's field hockey team and know that Jackson is in good hands with people who love him unconditionally. to you!

Thanks. It's their loss, he's an angel in disguise-although he looks like an angel too! Neither he or his brothers need to be around them anyway. But, unfortunately DH and I have no babysitters, so that's a bummer!

That's so sad. I am sorry you have to deal with that. It's been 20 years since I had any grandparents and I miss them all so much.

Yes, it is quite sad. I see so many children with grandparents that love them and always put them first. Also, the last person my children had left was their babysitter who loves all 3 of them like her own-she has breast cancer and is very, very sick and is not able to watch them at all-they miss her terribly.

Okay, I'll add more

My MIL has had issues from the beginning with me "taking" her son away from her (that was just her perception).

Thank you for providing my daily entertainment. Please, carry on.

 

[spacemountainmom]

Ok, I have a couple more.....

MIL got in our faces when we got engaged because of my rings. DH was still finishing school and didn't have a ton of money. He spent maybe $1,000 total on engagement and wedding rings and she had a fit. Now, obviously they are not really big or extravegant....but she kept telling me that we spent too much money. She repeatedly informed me that we could upgrade my rings later "when" we had more money. I am a very sentimental person and could not imagine "upgrading" my rings. We will celebrate 20 years soon and I still wear my same rings.

The best part of that story is that we were planning to get married about a year later than we did, but MIL backed out on her promise that dh could live with them rent free until he finished school. She pretty much kicked him out of the house so we decided to move up our plans. We ended up getting engaged and married within three months so of course, everyone thought I was expecting. Um....no, dh was trying to avoid paying rent to his mom!!!

After our 2nd child was born, we decided that I would be a SAHM. This was really important to my DH since he was a latch-key kid from Kindergarten on. Oh boy, did his mom love that. It was all my idea and I was going to drive her precious son into bankruptcy. REALLY? I still would so love to tell her the truth about that one. It's been 12 years and she still makes nasty comments even though I do work part-time now at my son's school.

The best part now is that my dh is really sweet and likes to spoil me. He buys me jewelry for my bday, xmas or our anniversary. It just annoys her to no end. We only see her once a year, but she sure notices if I have a new ring or earrings. It really gets her goat that he goes out and picks out nice things all by himself. He sends flowers.....just because.

I often wonder how he grew up to be so wonderful, but I am sure glad he did.

 

[DSNY4ever]

I just have to thank everyone on this thread. You have made me feel so much better. These stories are always funny when they aren't happening to you!

I too wonder how my husband turned out to be such a good person, it really is baffling.

You guys should all read The Glass Castle. That book is sad and fascinating at the same time! Some pretty bad parenting there!

 

[GettingFuzzy]

Guys, what's up? I read every page of this thread and I've never done that before. Are you out of stories? Seriously, I was late to work this morning because I stayed up too late last night reading this thread. I apologize for getting so much enjoyment out of your misery. Please, carry on.

If it helps, my MIL went into my house yesterday and stole some alochol while I was out shopping. Started to wonder about an electric fence, then realized I'd off myself in less than 24 hours, so tossed that one out. Maybe a trail of airline sized liquor bottles to a human sized raccoon trap?

Less recently, DH and I had to sit through a dinner in which she explained the way to tasty meat was to marinate it for 2 weeks. I sat and watched my poor DH and FIL choke and decide how to spit it out, throw up, and go lie down all at once. After dinner, I told my poor suffering DH I saw the meat container and it was one of those pre-made heat and serve things. The relief was palpable. Oh, and did you know, my MIL had her appendix burst, and lived with it for almost 12 days? The next time she told me that, it was 2 weeks, then 5 days, then 7 days. Aside from the fact she never had her appendix out makes her a dang medical miracle.

 

[Erin1700]

We are seeing my MIL on Saturday so I should have some good stories!

 

[loveshak22]

This thread makes me laugh and cry...all I can say is there are some C-R-A-Z-Y people out there!

My MIL is not nearly as bad as some IL's you all have to suffer with - no reincarnated husband in her dog, no changing bridal registries, no stealing of my stuff for potential use in a voo-doo ceremony, etc. The worst though are the stories of IL's being so horrible to children with special needs or refusing to visit people in the hospital or saying people's illnesses aren't real (like the guy with stage 3 cancer or the baby with cerebal palsy)...those are sad! I feel for everyone who has to deal with people like that - people who only bring negativity in your life.

 

[loveshak22]

I think my posts are too long so I'm going to edit them to be shorter and repost....

 

[loveshak22]

I think my posts are too long so I'm going to edit them to be shorter and repost....

 

[It'sWDW4me]

If it helps, my MIL went into my house yesterday and stole some alochol while I was out shopping. Started to wonder about an electric fence, then realized I'd off myself in less than 24 hours, so tossed that one out. Maybe a trail of airline sized liquor bottles to a human sized raccoon trap?

Less recently, DH and I had to sit through a dinner in which she explained the way to tasty meat was to marinate it for 2 weeks. I sat and watched my poor DH and FIL choke and decide how to spit it out, throw up, and go lie down all at once. After dinner, I told my poor suffering DH I saw the meat container and it was one of those pre-made heat and serve things. The relief was palpable. Oh, and did you know, my MIL had her appendix burst, and lived with it for almost 12 days? The next time she told me that, it was 2 weeks, then 5 days, then 7 days. Aside from the fact she never had her appendix out makes her a dang medical miracle.

OK, I was worried for a second that you actually entertained the thought that this could really happen. Then I read further. So she's a lying alcohol thief, then?

My appendix really DID burst. I was 8 or 9 and my dad carried me out to the car in an over-the-shoulder fireman's carry. I'm sure that wasn't the smartest thing to do - put pressure on my abdomen - but I'm sure he was scared s**tless!! It burst either on the way out to the car, on the way to the hospital, or while we were waiting in the ER because, once there, I was ssssoooo relieved to be able to stand and walk around finally without pain. I couldn't understand why the nurses and doctors were like "Get me an OR - STAT!!!" I was in the hospital for 8 days getting some super nasty painful doses of penicillan pumped through the IV in my arm.

I'm really lucky to not have any MIL or FIL stories to add to this thread. But you all have kept me in states of and through this whole thing.

 

[GettingFuzzy]

OK, I was worried for a second that you actually entertained the thought that this could really happen. Then I read further. So she's a lying alcohol thief, then?

My appendix really DID burst. I was 8 or 9 and my dad carried me out to the car in an over-the-shoulder fireman's carry. I'm sure that wasn't the smartest thing to do - put pressure on my abdomen - but I'm sure he was scared s**tless!! It burst either on the way out to the car, on the way to the hospital, or while we were waiting in the ER because, once there, I was ssssoooo relieved to be able to stand and walk around finally without pain. I couldn't understand why the nurses and doctors were like "Get me an OR - STAT!!!" I was in the hospital for 8 days getting some super nasty painful doses of penicillan pumped through the IV in my arm.

I'm really lucky to not have any MIL or FIL stories to add to this thread. But you all have kept me in states of and through this whole thing.

There are numerous variations of the story, but it always takes place in December, right after my BIL was born, and the time frame depends on how close to Christmas we are. She gives me head pains.

I'm just cheesed off that she was in my house. And stealing. And me without a fireplace poker.

(Of course I would never do that. Allegedly.)

 

[crashbb]

I don't have stories to share, but everytime I see this thread title I start singing "Your grandma and my grandma sitting by the fire...".

Why? No idea.

 

[CKBear]

I can't really complain about my MIL since she stopped talking to us the weekend before my husband and I got engaged. The hardest thing is that up to that point I thought she liked me, my MIL was best friends with one of my older cousins so I've known her since I was a little kid like 5 or 6, and I thought that we'd have a great MIL/DIL relationship.

I do feel bad for my DH since she wants absolutely nothing to do with either one of us; I'm glad he still has a couple of aunts around who I adore and my DH gets along with my parents and siblings.

 

[loveshak22]

Yeah it might fall under a general assault - I can't think of any sexual assault statute it'd meet, no - but I think a cop would be fairly inclined to roll his or her eyes at an assault complaint because a family member thought it was funny to pull a top down. It's not going anyplace with the DA, let's put it that way.

As noted, sexual harassment has a specific definition that has nothing to do with that behaviour, and sexual harassment isn't criminal regardless, it's civil.

I think it would fall under the category of a battery (if the state recognizes battery and assault as distinct crimes):

From freelegaldictionary.com
"Battery is concerned with the right to have one's body left alone by others.

Battery is both a tort and a crime. Its essential element, harmful or offensive contact, is the same in both areas of the law. The main distinction between the two categories lies in the penalty imposed. A defendant sued for a tort is civilly liable to the plaintiff for damages. The punishment for criminal battery is a fine, imprisonment, or both. Usually battery is prosecuted as a crime only in cases involving serious harm to the victim."

She probably wouldn't get convicted since there was no serious harm but I've heard cops say "You can beat the crime but you can't beat the ride." Meaning you might not ever get prosecuted but they can still put you in the back of a cop car and take you to jail.

In the end though, I think we all agree it was a disgusting thing for the MIL to do. I think my initial reaction to someone grabbing my clothing would be to punch them in the face...not intentional but just a self-defense type move. It sounds like the MIL could use a good punch to the face (in a fantasy world of course)

 

[loveshak22]

I posted 2 MIL stories earlier and thought they were too long winded so decided I'd come back and try to be more succinct - let's see if I have any luck

First, let me explain my MIL...she's mean. She's rude. I think she suffers from only child syndrome. She's always negative. She only talks about herself. She never asks about anyone else. She's sarcastic (to be mean). Everything is "woe's me" in her mind. She talks and judges everyone, even people she doesn't know. I used to sit sometimes for hours and listen to her talk about someone's friend who she's never met and how stupid they are.

Now...on to the stories! I'll divide them up into 2 posts. Part I - Wedding Craziness and Part II - Post-Wedding Craziness!

Part I:
- She loved me when my DH and I dated. And so, even with her faults I was able to get along with her just fine. Then we got engaged and some switch turned and she hated me. She was out of town when my DH proposed and we went out to lunch when she got back and she didn't ask to see the ring, didn't congratulate me, nothing. It was like it never happened.

- We had a really small wedding. She volunteered (forcefully) to do the flowers. I said repeatedly that I would be fine doing it but she insisted (we would still pay for the flowers and vases though). She asked what I wanted and I was very clear that I wanted something simple but other than that I would leave it up to her. She constantly had samples at her house and I'd tell her everytime "That's great - do that." Then I'd come over again and there'd be something else and I'd say "That's great - do that" or "I really liked the other ones you had last week but if this is easier than do this. I'll be happy with anything you pick." Well the day before the wedding she tells my mother that I still had not helped her with the flowers and we had to go pick some out. So all three of us had to go look at flowers, in the middle of all the other wedding craziness,and again I said I'd be fine with whatever. I pointed out some flowers I liked but in the end she still brought flowers completely different than what I picked!

- She volunteered (forcefully) to do the rehearsal dinner. Since our wedding party was small and over labor day I said I just would do a BBQ. She insisted she make the food. I said multiple times it wasn't neccessary but she kept saying she wanted to...she was an hour late with the food for the rehearsal dinner.

- She complained to my SIL that she was so stressed because we were asking her to do so much.

- She showed up the morning of the wedding and gave the flowers and vases to my maid of honor and mother and left. They had to put everything out. She also told my maid of honor that if she lost her cutting shears that she would kill her - no joke - she wasn't laughing or smiling either - she would KILL her.

- She came up to where I was getting dressed. I opened the door in my dress, with hair and make-up done. I said "You look so pretty!" She stared at me and said "I forgot my glasses in here." She walked in and got her glasses and didn't say a word to me. It would have been nice to hear her say I looked pretty too or something!

- After the wedding one of my friends was sitting next to me and he got up and said "here sit next to your daughter," knowing that she wasn't my mom but that I just married her son...she looked shocked and said "That's not my daughter, DH is my son." Again, it was obvious he was trying to point out that I was now her daughter (uh...we just got married). So he was standing there in silence - awkward!

 

[loveshak22]

Part II - Post Wedding Craziness (just the highlights):

My mother always told me that I should treat my MIL just like I would treat her. So I set out wanting a close relationship with MIL. I even wrote her a card one year at Christmas telling her how happy I was that she and FIL lived so close to DH and me because I really valued family, especially with my family being 4 hours away. I never got a response but I wanted to share this as an example of really trying to reach out to her.

Now more stories:
- When we first got married I was still really trying to form a relationship. I would call her every couple of weeks to see if she wanted to do dinner or go to a movie. She always said no. So my DH asks why she never wants to go out. Her response, "It's not my job to hang out with your wife." That's funny to me! I work 40-50 hours a week easily and I travel for my job. In addition I love spending time with my DH and I have tons of friends. I don't need to hang out with her I just wanted to form a friendship!

- She often referred to me as DH's wife as opposed to my name.

- My DH tried to have little to do with his mom (will explain why it's in past tense in a minute) and he asked me multiple times if I wanted him to say something or he said he was going to say something about her behavior whenever I told him what happened but I always told him it was too much trouble because she wasn't going to change and while it was annoying I could live with it (plus, she'd feed off the drama and I didn't want to give her the satisfaction). But then my DH finally exploded when she told him my dad was a liar and untrustworthy. Why would she say that you ask? Well, my dad had a stroke and is partially disabled. During the wedding reception (a year earlier) he excused himself from the party by telling MIL that he was tired and wanted to go to bed. The next day she asked him if he slept well and he said he hadn't because all of his kids kept him up until 3:00 a.m. She told my DH that this proves he is a liar who can't be trusted and that my DH needs to watch him...still confused? It's because he said he was going to bed and didn't! First, my dad was trying to be polite and second, it was an unplanned night. My brother was in town from MT and one from FL and we all stopped to chat in my parents room and got caught up in laughing and chatting that we didn't even notice the time...it wasn't planned just to spite her. My DH went off and told her how crazy that was for her to say and that she'd better start respecting me more or he'd have nothing to do with her! She got a little better but not for long.

- MIL and FIL got a divorce recently. Yes, a very difficult time. So my DH tells his mom that maybe she should see a counselor because she's going through such a tough time. She got so mad at him for even suggesting that (leave it a crazy person to get mad when you suggest they see a counselor) even though he wasn't saying it was because there was anything wrong with her, just that it might help because it was such a difficult situation. When he found out how mad she was he apologized. She hasn't talked to us in a year just because of that! Well, she did call once and left him a voicemail to take out her trash. He ignored it.

- MIL's not talking to us but still sent us an anniversary card with just her name inside it - no "love, mom" just her name. So I decide to extend an olive branch since I know it's a tough time and I call. She never returns my call.

- MIL finally talks to DH after a year and then some. What does she want? To say that she's moving and to ask DH if he would come over and help her move!!! Seriously! What nerve! When DH says he will be out of town that week (yes, my DH was still willing to go over and help because he realizes she's a nut) she has the nerve to then ask if he has any friends who will come help her move!!! Now who would ask a friend to go help their mother move into a house when they won't even be there...friends who have never met his mother and know she's a looney tune?

- MIL hasn't called again.

Those are the big ones! I could go on and on!

Haha - I deleted my earlier posts to try to make these ones shorter but I don't think I succeded!

 

[SallySkelington]

It's strangely comforting to know there is a whole boatload of crazy MIL's out there.

I wish I had known my DH was the "golden son" beforehand. Could have saved myself a whole heap of stress. I was dead in the water before I made it through the door... Mostly I'm just indifferent to the woman now. Less stress for me and just annoys her to no end she can't get a rise out of me.

The highlights-

*The first time I met her, she went into my suitcase while we were out and washed and folded my clothes. Then told everyone I made her do it. Like commanded her. I was just embarassed she was all up in my underpants.

*I noticed some socks had been disappearing on me. Okay, I lose socks all the time. Big whoop. On a visit later, I found a pile of my socks. Just one of each (different designs). Why? Just, seriously, why?

*She started stealing my hair bands. Okay. All dark brown or black. So I got some bright colored ones and started replacing them one at a time. Oh the looks I got. I mean, what was she going to say? Stop replacing the hair bands I stole for different ones? Of course not.

*We stayed with them a couple LONG months when my DH was medically retired from the Army, and I came home to find all my black clothes soaking in hot water in the washer.

*This one is fairly creepy and just causes us to keep our distance. She copies me. On everything. My nails grow naturally square, so she files her square now. If I buy something, she buys it within a week. I have reddish hair, so she dyed hers. Only she used really old dye and it came out BRIGHT orange. Best. Day. Ever. DH thinks it's creepy, so do I, so we just avoid her when we can.

*And the one that broke us- She not only steals jewelry (I usually find it), she stole my engagement ring. And had it for 2 months, watched me mope around and even let DH replace it, then one day he was over there, and saw it, just sitting there. I don't know what she said, I'm sure it was just BS, but ever since then, I just ignore her unless forced into contact.

Honestly, if my FIL wasn't so sick and we weren't concerned with his care, we would leave and be happy to never talk to her again. But she's an alcoholic and a mean one at that, so we don't trust her to take proper care of FIL. Once he goes though, so do we.

I don't think I have the self control you do that's really flippin' creepy!!!


In other news:
Dear DMIL2B:
I know you lurk on the almighty Dis and I beg of you here and now, please don't be all up in my undies when I marry your son. (Unless it's to stash the new set of Victoria's Secret you got me).

Sincerly,
Your DDIL2B

I know my DMIL2B are awesome. (Both of them).