My In-laws are worse than your In-laws!

[tlbwriter]

I had registered for a white 4 slice toaster so I was just a little confused until my MIL spoke up and said "She registered for a white 4 slice toaster. I have no idea what she was thinking with the white, it will be so hard to keep clean. Plus what newly married couple needs a 4 slice toaster?" At that point I knew what she had done.

But then everybody else knew, right? Did anyone say anything?

She made it a nightmare. We were not sure what to do. Do we exchange all those items? If we do that then what happens when Grandma comes over and wants to know where is the navy blue and gold canister set that she bought me? So do we keep everything instead and just buy new in our colors styles when we can afford to? NIGHTMARE!

What did you end up doing? And what kind of relationship did you have with the interfering <bad word> after that?

 

[OceanAnnie]

TheIncredibles!-

OMG!!!

I would have been sooo mad and crying too! I consider myself easy going, but I think that would be something I would NEVER be able to recover from. What is wrong with her? And for the FIL to go along with it too?!

I agree. Crazy.

You had no where to go but up from there, but something tells me that didn't happen. What did you and your DH decide to do? How have things been since then? I bet you have many, many stories to tell. You have my sympathy.

Just a general question to all: How do you forge a relationship with people who are clearly looney tunes and mean spirited? So many of these stories the people do and say what they wish with no thought as to how their behavior will impact others. After doing and saying such outlandish, bizarre behavior do people really think things will just go on as they always have? That people will always look the other way? No one has any feelings but them? Mind boggling. Absolutely mind boggling. And extremely sad.

 

[HillPete]

MiL's loving their daughters children more than their son's children seems to be a reoccurring theme on this thread. I know it is an issue between myself and my MIL. WTH is that all about?

My MIL did not come to the hospital when either of my kids were born, but she was at the birth of all of the others. Distance was no issue...it is just bizarre. That was just the beginning of a lifetime of small slights, nothing like what others have posted, but my kids have still noticed.

I couldn't have said it better myself! It's amazing to me how much more she loves her daughter and granddaughter compared to DH and our 2 DSs. Even when SIL lived farther away than we do (for about 1 year), they still made more effort to be in contact with her and visit her than they have done in the nearly 20 years DH and I have lived here. It's their loss!

--H

 

[TheIncredibles!]

TheIncredibles!-

OMG!!!

I would have been sooo mad and crying too! I consider myself easy going, but I think that would be something I would NEVER be able to recover from. What is wrong with her? And for the FIL to go along with it too?!

It was horrible. I fought so hard through the whole shower to not let it show because it was not our family's fault. KWIM? After all - all these people buying us these gifts thought they were buying things we picked out for ourselves. How could I react and take away their enjoyment of being able to provide for our first home? My sister was helping me and with every gift I opened she would mutter under her breath "Holy ****! I can't believe she did that."

Afterwards we took everything to the house and DH and I just stood there looking at it all in shock. She ruined it for us. All that joy of buying our first home and setting it up so it was ready for our first day together - all ruined. Not to mention the stress she added to an already stressful time.

We ended up having my Mother explain what happened to my whole side so they would know why things they had bought were not in the house etc. We said nothing to DH's side figuring if we had a family gathering and they asked we'd just lay out what MIL did right in front of her. Nobody asked...

We exchanged every little thing and it took us 4 separate trips to Macys to do it. I have to say Macys was absolutely incredible about the whole thing. Once they realized what had happened they really went overboard to help fix it all and help us exchange everything.

They gave us the discounts we should have gotten on the TV too.

 

[TheIncredibles!]

But then everybody else knew, right? Did anyone say anything?



What did you end up doing? And what kind of relationship did you have with the interfering <bad word> after that?

Yes other people knew from her comments, but there were over 50 people at my shower so only a handful caught her comments. (I have a really big family) My mom did not hear at first, she was not paying attention to her, she was chatting and laughing with her sisters etc. And after the fact I had to explain the true extent of what happened. She though MIL has only changed some things. My sister knew since she was helping me open presents and was paying attention to my MIL. DH's Aunts I am sure know since they were right there but nobody from that side ever said anything.

We are not close with DH's family at all. My MIL 15+ years later still seems to think I am incapable of the most basic wifely duties and I still think she is an interfering busy body. She is not openly hostile, she honestly believes that I don't know what I am doing as an adult, wife and mother and it's her duty to help me out.

This is not the only MIL story I could tell here. It's been 15.5 years since my wedding shower. I can assure you that things did not suddenly change after my shower.

The stories I could tell you through the years are as bad as this one, but non top this one.

 

[kkacar]

ok I have to say I thought mine was terrible until I started reading your stories. When someone asks about mine, I refer them to the show "Everybody loves Raymond." I am married to Raymond. We live 2 house down from them and she sorta resembles marie Barrone in deeds and looks.

Although I have to say Hubs does not put up with her crap. He will tell her right off she is being crazy. Hubs is 11 years older than me and the baby to boot, his oldest brother is older than my Mom. (My mom had me when she was 17) but anyway, we not only have one generation between the two of us we have two. It makes things fun and entertaining sometimes.

She thinks her son is the best thing since sliced bread. He is the youngest of 4 boys and I will admit I got the best one of the four, but he is far from perfect. But that is all my fault. To start with she was really bad and then we had DD9 and she realized that "YES I COULD KEEP HER FROM SEEING HER GRANDDAUGHTER!!" That was an eye opener.

DD9 was a difficult pregnancy and I was on bed rest much of it. So after DD9 was born finances were quite low. I went back to work when the baby was 3 months old, and at the point I had been out of work on FMLA for about 7 months. She gave me all kids of crap about working, none of her other DIL's worked and she was not going to have some stranger taking care of her new granddaughter... UM she watched her 2 days a week, my Mom watched her 2 days a week and my sister watched her the other day. Not exactly strangers if you know what I mean. Anyway one afternoon, Hubs went to pick up the baby and she started in on him about me working late hours (I taught pre-k 7:30-3:00; not exactly the graveyard shift) well she had a coffee can on the counter and Hubs picked it up and said "Kelli makes this much a month, we need it by the 15th of the month to pay the bills we will leave the can on your porch and can pick it up. You can either fund it of have everyone you know put money in it." She of course was horrified. She has never mentioned it again.

And she can be quite crazy, but FIL is lovely and will tell her when he has enough. And like I said, Hubs will tell her to mid her own business as will FIL. She is not really mean or anything she is just completely set in her ways. The ways of 1950.

I truly feel for you all that have such rotten people in your lives. My Bio mother is rotten, but my step mother (whom I call Momma) is fabulous. Now DH, could tell you some utterly rotten things about my bio MOM, she is crazy and is married (again) to someone nuttier than her. Life is too shirt to let these kind of people get to ya.

kelli

 

[usnuzuloose]

Yes other people knew from her comments, but there were over 50 people at my shower so only a handful caught her comments. (I have a really big family) My mom did not hear at first, she was not paying attention to her, she was chatting and laughing with her sisters etc. And after the fact I had to explain the true extent of what happened. She though MIL has only changed some things. My sister knew since she was helping me open presents and was paying attention to my MIL. DH's Aunts I am sure know since they were right there but nobody from that side ever said anything.

We are not close with DH's family at all. My MIL 15+ years later still seems to think I am incapable of the most basic wifely duties and I still think she is an interfering busy body. She is not openly hostile, she honestly believes that I don't know what I am doing as an adult, wife and mother and it's her duty to help me out.

This is not the only MIL story I could tell here. It's been 15.5 years since my wedding shower. I can assure you that things did not suddenly change after my shower.

The stories I could tell you through the years are as bad as this one, but non top this one.

Hopefully Macys understands that no one except the bride or groom with the first names can only change the registry, not just last name only. If not I would have wrote a letter explaining what happend. I hope things will get better for you.

 

[sorcerormickey]

Wow - I am so glad my MIL and FIL are great!

We did have to recently cut SisIL out of our lives though. Long story short, last year she announced she was marrying some guy that NO ONE in the family ever met, and proceeded to turn into a psycho bridezilla. When people tried to talk to her about the whole thing, she cut them out of her life. (He dumped her 3 weeks later.)

She said some nasty untrue things about me that I cannot forget or forgive. We have blocked every form of communication from her. (It is sad because she and my SO used to be really close.) Glad to live 1000 miles away from her!

 

[discnewbie]

The stories I could tell you through the years are as bad as this one, but non top this one.

I should hope not!!! I cannot believe that a future MIL and FIL would be such scheming busybodies!! Wow. What else can I say but

 

[Candace]

Gosh! Some of these stories are really horrible, but some are hilarious! I am really enjoying this thread!

 

[TaraPA]

Oh geez I just remembered another one that I forgot about (or blocked out)

When DH & I were dating his mom had a party at their house for her co-workers. We were all in the pool & MIL comes up to me, pulls down my bikini top & yells "hey guys look at the goods my son gets to sample - isn't she cute?!?!?!"

Maybe, just MAYBE she thought this was some kind of compliment?? DH did flip a lid & drag his mom inside to tell her that was just wrong wrong wrong. She laughed the whole time. Looking back, I should have called the cops on her for sexual harrassment. I'd call now in a heartbeat if she ever tried something like that on anyone in my family.

 

[alizesmom]

To the OP. Probably, mine are dead.

 

[spacemountainmom]

The Incredibles - WOW, just WOW!!!

Your in-laws have unbelievable cahones to pull something like that. My jaw is literally hanging on the ground. That is seriously nasty business.

My mil is always saying stuff like, "oh, yeah.....you don't cook." Really, I am probably a better cook than she is by far. Just any little dig she can get in while her son isn't in the room because she knows he would tell her off.

The funniest thing about my MIL is she is always complaining about her MIL who is still alive and pretty feisty at 91. She is way worse!!!

 

[pkondz]

Man, and that's what a sentance looks like out of context!
And I spelled embarrassed wrong. Of course.

And now you just spelled sentence wrong too! You're on a roll!

And hey! The tag fairy did hear you. You got tagged! Someday I hope to get lucky too. Umm... that didn't come out quite right.

 

[pkondz]

We exchanged every little thing and it took us 4 separate trips to Macys to do it. I have to say Macys was absolutely incredible about the whole thing. Once they realized what had happened they really went overboard to help fix it all and help us exchange everything.

They gave us the discounts we should have gotten on the TV too.

Glad everything worked out for you in the end, but man! What a pain!

 

[Angelrose]

Well, my MIL wasn't so bad to me, but she wasn't the best mom to my DH.

When he was 8 or 9 she told him they were going for a "ride". Now that was something they never did, but he had to go. They stopped at the hospital where they were "going to see someone". Next thing DH knows two orderlies grab him while he is screaming . His Mom, grandmom and grandpop walk away laughing. He was then chloroformed and woke up with a sore throat. That was how he knew he had his tonsils out. Nice, huh?

They were visiting a friend on a farm and encouraged DH to touch the fence. He got a bad shock while they laughed. That was his introduction to an electric fence.

She did not approve of him marrying a "damnCatholic" That was one word. After we were married, we did get along fairly well. Mainly because they lived in a different state. They never came to visit us, even when they were visiting her husband's relatives minutes away from us. One time we were at Burger King and I saw her. I told DH that his mom was there. He went over and you should have seen how guilty she looked. LOL

Now we used to call her twice a year. They never called us. We didn't mind the toll call, but, ONCE in a while they could have called.

The last time we called at Christmas, Ron spoke for a while to his mom and I could tell it was a rather strange conversation. Then it was my turn.

I was speaking to his sister because his mom was done talking.

Here's how the conversation went.

Me: Hi How are you doing?

SIL: Fine.................................

Me: How do you like your job?

SIL: Great...............................

Me: Well, I've been doing some craft work. Do you do anything like that on your time off?

SIL: No......................

Me: Well, I mustn't keep you. Bye.

SIL: Click

After that we didn't bother to call anymore. His mom had given him practically the same treatment.

The years passed and Ron check up online to see if she had passed. She had, and SIL had never bothered to let us know.

When Ron passed I didn't let her know either. She wouldn't have cared. She never married and is now living alone. A few church friends and that's about it.

I could never understand how my sweet Ron came from that family. He was so loving and caring and helped so many people.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I could never understand how my sweet Ron came from that family. He was so loving and caring and helped so many people.

It's a good thing he had you! They sound absolutely terrible.

 

[pkondz]

When he was 8 or 9 she told him they were going for a "ride". Now that was something they never did, but he had to go. They stopped at the hospital where they were "going to see someone". Next thing DH knows two orderlies grab him while he is screaming . His Mom, grandmom and grandpop walk away laughing. He was then chloroformed and woke up with a sore throat. That was how he knew he had his tonsils out. Nice, huh?

Holy cow! How to traumatize a child in three easy steps!

 

[Angelrose]

Thank you Ocean Annie. We had 43 wonderful years together. He passed two years ago and I still miss him so much.

pkondz, yes that was just one of many things they did to him. When he would get all A's on his report card, they would say, "That's nice". When his brother came in with only 2 or 3 F's, they would make such a big fuss on how well he was doing. His brother was the favored one.

His grandfather was in the antique business. Ron would have to go with him and haul all the furniture out to the truck and then haul it into the store. He would have to fit his homework in between times. When he asked why his brother didn't have to help. The answer was, "because he's too fat. He couldn't do it".

His was a very strange family. I'm glad they lived a state away from us.

 

[TheIncredibles!]

And now you just spelled sentence wrong too! You're on a roll!

And hey! The tag fairy did hear you. You got tagged! Someday I hope to get lucky too. Umm... that didn't come out quite right.

I got tagged too!!!

A big thanks to my MIL for years of snark and misery. Without her I'd still be black and white. She finally brought some color to my life.