My In-laws are worse than your In-laws!

[hereyago]

I have NO idea why my dh turned out like a decent human being because he sure wasn't modeled that behavior at home.

Because kids of whacked out parents can either follow the whacked out path later on repeating that cycle, or they can learn from it and be "decent' in spite of how their parents were.

 

[Shanna-like-Banana]

I swear if DH ever finds this, he is going to ring my neck

I wish that some of the stuff I'm about to say was a lie, but there is no way you can make this many terrible lies about 1 person



to start, MIL is a very very immature person. She is compariable to a 5 year old. She has never held a stable pay until the last few years, she was always been the victim of anything and everything that has ever happened in her life. If you try to talk to her like an adult, she goes into "child " mode and resorts to crying like a child and saying things like " why do you hate me ?"

While DH was in Basic training we became engaged. So with him gone, I tried to develop a relationship with her.

I came to pick her up one time, since she didn't have a car to drive, to come over for dinner. She was sssssooooooooooo drunk. She kept asking me to stop at the store so she could by some drinks. I had DD in the back seat. She kept going on and on about how she didn't like to shave her privates . So by the time we got to our apt complex, I about had enough. I stopped at the mail center and got out and checked the mail. I got back to the car and she looks at me and says " now if this dosen't work out, if your not good to my son, I'm going to find somebody to F you up real good ! " bbhhhhh, excuse me. I drove her straight home, she sat in the front seat of my car, crying like a whinning 2 yr old the whole way home. I could not even believe what just happened. She put a serious strain on my & DH's relationship. This is not the kind of stuff I want to tell him when he gets him 5 min phone time 3x a week.

A few weeks later, we try dinner again. I come by to pick her up. She is sitting at the kicthen table with what appears to be at least 5 pounds of pot. Sitting there with her friend bagging it up. Now, I kid you not before that say I'd never seen pot in person in my life. I said to her " oh, looks like your busy " grabbed DD, got in the car and left.

A few weeks later she calls me drunk off her rocker and just wants to check in with my and see if I'm being a good girl to her son ( e: am I cheating on her son while he's away at Basic )

When DH comes home from Basic and AIT, we had 7 days til the wedding.

One day I get a strange phone call out of the blue from one of DH aunts. I dont know this person, I've never met her, I have no idea who she is. She is calling to find out what hotel we have on RSVP for our wedding party ? hhuuuhh? we didn't invite anybody from out of town. DH and I paid 100% for everything in our wedding. We could afford a small place with like 30 people. Oh, well. DH's mom had invited all 4 of her sisters, all their kids and family, Like 30 additional people ! WWWWHHHHAAAATTTTTTTT ? ? ? ?

UUmmm, no. I am the bride, I'm not bring rude, but we can only afford X and we had to very carefully select the people to invite, we weren't able to afford to invite all of our own friends, and they understood we were paying and just didn't have the $. So, I have this person on the phone, asking about hotels. Saying that like 20 more people are coming, in 3 days, they have already purchase last minute EXPENSIVE flights, booked hotels, etc and what not. I was FFLLOORRREEDDD. I could not even believe this.

I almost had a serious breakdown before the wedding, How can we afford all these other people. I called the vendor and begged & begged for a discount, we were able to scale down the whole wedding and meals and all and only have to pay like $300 more. So some how we were able to swing it and they all come. But here is the thing : they are ALLLL normal. every single one of them.

A few months later DD and I move to Europe to join DH. She is calling all the freaking time, cryin on the phone about dosen't have $ for this, dosen't have $ for that, please send me $. The elec got turned off 2 weeks ago, I got the final notice for the water, etc. I did not send her 1 penny. Out of the compasion of my heart, I called over the phone and paid the min to the companies, to get the services turned back on.

While the many times DH was deployed, she would call me and ask me if I was " being a good wife, while he was gone " ( do you see a theme here )

While she lived back in FL, she was a vet tech. She worked at the same place for years and years and had been stealing from them for just as long. She would steal immunizations and do them at her home on the side. She would do all kinds of illegal stuff at her home on the side. She would steal supplies and sell them, food, anything she could get her hands on.


Well, one day, she was down at the river, drunk and high as a kite, fell and broke her ankle. But she didn't go to the doc/urgent care / ER because she knew she would get arrested, as she was on probabtion from her 2 previous DUI's. So she wated 2 days before going to the doc. Of course it was broken. But she did't have ins. So here she is on the phone again, crying for us to pay for the bill and that they won't even put at cast on it til we call the hosptial and pay some of the cost for the cast. ( what a liar, you can not be refused medical care for inability to pay) Alas, I call the hospital and pay like $500 over the phone. Of course she milked it for all it was worth, and as much pain meds from the doc as possible.

She tried to return the work the next day. The VET sent her home and said you can't be at work like that, you need to go home and rest for a few days. Knowing that she won't get paid, she steals more vet supplies and has all kinds of people in and out of her house for the week, getting services. Well one of her co-worked found out, told the VET and he fired her.

So now here she is broken ankle, can't walk, dosen't have any $, gets fired for stealing, who does she call ? nnoooooooo, you got yourself in this mess. She eneded up leaving FL in her car, with all she could fit in her car, driving to TN and moving into her sisters basement.

This is all in the first 2 years of DH and I being married. Do I need to go on ?



Also, one of my biggest pet peeves is that she contanstanly asks for DD's old clothes. She is a very small adult. She wears like a childs size 12 So as DH outgrows her clothes, we get through her drawers and bag the clothes for garage sale. Somehow on multiple times, it's turned into a fashion show on grand-ma with DD's too small clothes ( gesh, thank you for making my child more self-concious) and - "oohhh, look how cute grandma is ", yes, of course you are cute, you're wearing the clothes I purchased for my kid.




I should stop while I'm ahead

 

[hereyago]

t she goes into "child " mode and resorts to crying like a child

I am curious, does she "fake" cry I mean does she cry and nothing comes out in the way of tears? if so, never trust a dry crier. It isn't that she is immature, she has learned how to "manipulate" by doing that. Narcissitic behavior sucks. Hence she is the victim of everything, oh poor me blah blah blah.

 

[TaraPA]

She was collecting your things for voodoo. And I'm dead serious. My MIL practices voodoo (not sucessfully thank goodness) and reads tarot cards obsessively. I must have been told a million times in the last 25 years that toady's the last day of my life. I guess it was all wishful thinking on her part!



It sounds funny but my MIL really does practice those things & I'm sure she has a drawer full of vodoo dolls of me at her house!

 

[hereyago]

I got my DW up and we left as my FIL sat there and did and said nothing.

I just wanted to say that you rock for being supportive of your wife like that. Some people would have just say there like your FIL and did or say nothing and pretend that nothing happened.

 

[Hollywoodhaha]

4) my parents invited them to their big anniversary party. MIL was going around finding empty seats and drinking the glass of champagne that was at the empty places.

My grandma did that at my sister's wedding reception! [Which could count because she is my dad's MIL]

 

[spacemountainmom]

MiL's loving their daughters children more than their son's children seems to be a reoccurring theme on this thread. I know it is an issue between myself and my MIL. WTH is that all about?

My MIL did not come to the hospital when either of my kids were born, but she was at the birth of all of the others. Distance was no issue...it is just bizarre. That was just the beginning of a lifetime of small slights, nothing like what others have posted, but my kids have still noticed.

Maybe that's my MIL's problem??? She was there for the births of both of dh's sisters' kids. Then again my SIL was 21 and 23 when they were born. When I was expecting my first, MIL just brought up in conversation that she expected to be in the delivery room. DH and I hadn't really discussed it and I was a bit shocked by her demand. My response was that her presence was not required at the conception so it would not be needed at the birth. I was just astounded that she assumed that she would be welcome and didn't ask, just told me.

Just for giggles, I later asked my mom if she wanted to be there and she said that she could not stand to watch me go through that and she'd be happy to wait for a phone call. My dh told me that his mom did harass him another time and told him she wanted to be there and she should be there. Thank goodness he told her that it was our decision, we discussed it and didn't want to share the birth with anyone else.

It probably would have been moot anyhow. I had a very difficult delivery, they had students observing and the NICU team was there as well. I am pretty certain any additional spectators beyond dh would have been asked to leave.

I guess I sank my own ship that day, but I just could not believe that my MIL could be so presumtious.

I don't mind when she makes nasty comments to me and believe me she manages to work them in frequently. I get mad that she gets to my DH with her crap and worse yet, when my kids reached the age that they began to understand that gma was all talk and no action. She always would promise to do stuff with them and then not show up. When they were little, I wouldn't tell them so they never knew, but they got older and she started talking to them directly. You never saw two sadder faces than the day she told them she would take them to the movies and never showed up. When I called to ask her if they were coming, I just was given a lame excuse. I don't think my FIL is nearly as bad as she is, but I do fault him for not standing up to her and doing the right thing.

 

[GettingFuzzy]

She was collecting your things for voodoo. And I'm dead serious. My MIL practices voodoo (not sucessfully thank goodness) and reads tarot cards obsessively. I must have been told a million times in the last 25 years that toady's the last day of my life. I guess it was all wishful thinking on her part!



It sounds funny but my MIL really does practice those things & I'm sure she has a drawer full of vodoo dolls of me at her house!

I wouldn't doubt it. We are talking about a woman who makes up spanish words for the dogs as "signals". Both the dogs and I just look at her confused, like, okay. Sure. I did find a bunch of my perfume not too long ago, but goodness knows I don't want it back. Probably cursed.

 

[pkondz]

When I was expecting my first, MIL just brought up in conversation that she expected to be in the delivery room... My response was that her presence was not required at the conception so it would not be needed at the birth.

Great answer! Then again maybe she could tag team with the MIL who gave the s*x book and be there for both events. Can you say "mood killer"? I can just see it, "No, you're doing it wrong. See I told you you shouldn't have married her!"

 

[Jennasis]

OOoooooh!! I just got a card in the mail from MIL today. It's an "I-miss-the-warmth-of-your-friendship" card. Uh huh. Cards mean jack. Actions speak louder. Act like a savage and you get cut off/out. Period.

She sent a bunch of cards. That one. One for our Anniversary. One for DH for "being-such-a-great-son". One for my birthday. All dated 8/11 on the inside, but the postage stamp says they were sent yesterday. He hasn't heard from her all week (unusual). Perhaps it's finally sinking in that we're through?

 

[spacemountainmom]

Great answer! Then again maybe she could tag team with the MIL who gave the s*x book and be there for both events. Can you say "mood killer"? I can just see it, "No, you're doing it wrong. See I told you you shouldn't have married her!"

Which reminds me of another fun MIL story........

DH and I started dating our senior year. The summer after we graduated DH's sister, BIL and infant niece moved in with mom and dad after BIL lost his job. They lived there for almost an entire year and my DH was miserable (That's another whole story).

They finally moved out and life in the house was getting back to normal. One day my future MIL tells me that I left my birth control in the bathroom.. Not that it really was her business, but we didn't need it at the time. IF I had needed to keep my "stuff" at their house, I would have put it in DH's bathroom, not hers. Whatever! I was completely embarrassed and so was DH.

It turned out that the "mystery" birth control belonged to dh's sister. Really? Why would you assume that I would put my stuff in your medicine cabinet??? I guess she thought I was a shameless hussy.

 

[Principessa1284]

I grew up in an ultra-religious household. So that one is funny. Just an FYI - we were not allowed to watch Disney because it was too immoral. Between my love of Disney and what your book says - I'm really gonna burn!!

OMG that reminds me.. DH was not allowed to watch several cartoons and other movies like Star Wars, etc, when he was a child (read... up to age 17 or so) because his dad said they were all demons.

MIL has also gotten women kicked out of theme parks for wearing bikinis too small for her liking. If she couldn't get them kicked out, she'd badger them until they left of their own accord.

 

[Principessa1284]

I was just embarassed she was all up in my underpants.

Where are you tag fairy?!

 

[ready123go]

OMG that reminds me.. DH was not allowed to watch several cartoons and other movies like Star Wars, etc, when he was a child (read... up to age 17 or so) because his dad said they were all demons.

MIL has also gotten women kicked out of theme parks for wearing bikinis too small for her liking. If she couldn't get them kicked out, she'd badger them until they left of their own accord.

Too funny!! So familiar. My younger brother and I can have a laugh together about those kind of things. DF still rails against going to WDW! I don't really speak to him much (I sat through enough sermons as a kid), but I still wouldn't have the heart to tell him we are saving for DVC timeshares. Two strikes - timeshares and Disney - ARRRGH - How his daughter has strayed!!.

My older brother and SIL followed right in my parents' footsteps. I was shocked when I found out my DB actually let his kids watch Harry Potter movies. He explained it away by informing me that, "That is the way real devil-worshipers behave. They do all the things in that movie."

I still can't figure out how he would know...

Ahhh, families.

 

[wdwiala]

I am lucky to have inlaws that are nice (not to say that we always get along, we don't, but they include me and aren't like the inlaws on these pages!!!)

However I do have a very good friend who is unfortunately saddled with a nasty MIL, and up until these pages, was the worst I have heard of. Here are some of the things she did:

1) For my friend's wedding, MIL dressed in sweatpants and brought a can of coke. She sat in the front row shaking it and saying loudly "I've been to better funerals." My friend's BIL and father (who is sadly deceased now) had to be physically restrained by their spouses, because they wanted to remove her from the ceremony. Oh and MIL did have other clothes to wear to the wedding, she just chose sweatpants (dirty ones) because she wanted to make a point.

2) MIL repeatedly accused friend that their first child was not her son's and went so far as to say she saw many different men go into her home so it could be any one of them.

3) When first child was born, MIL brought a gift, but insisted on seeing baby's room first. When she looked through the closet etc she said "Your kid is already too spoiled!" and left, taking her gift with her. And no she did not give them something else.

4) MIL had one of her sons running a meth lab in her house. He was convicted and sent to jail. And she has 50+ cats in her house. And smokes. And is a hoarder. She keeps asking to babysit the kids in her house. And thinks my friend is weird for refusing.

5) She once "diagnosed" cancer in her nephew by flashing a flashlight down his throat and saying because it looked black, it was cancer. My friend's husband believed her. And no the child does not have cancer, it was a cold.

 

[amg35]

Well, since we aren't married technically they aren't in-laws, but this story...

My boyfriends mom is great, a little dramatic, but she likes me. His stepdad...
They were staying at our place once. He loves cats. We have a cat. My cat does not drink milk. He kept giving the cat milk. He flipped out because I left the house at 11 at night to go get him aspirin for his head, and apparently I bought the wrong kind. What's wrong with Bayer? But these don't really amount to much, but here's my favorite....

We let them use our room, so the two of us slept on the floor in the living room on a comforter. The cat was sleeping next to me. I woke up, opened my eyes, and his stepdad was kneeling right next to me petting the cat at 3 in the morning! We were almost eye to eye!

I just closed my eyes and prayed it was a dream!

 

[GettingFuzzy]

OOoooooh!! I just got a card in the mail from MIL today. It's an "I-miss-the-warmth-of-your-friendship" card. Uh huh. Cards mean jack. Actions speak louder. Act like a savage and you get cut off/out. Period.

She sent a bunch of cards. That one. One for our Anniversary. One for DH for "being-such-a-great-son". One for my birthday. All dated 8/11 on the inside, but the postage stamp says they were sent yesterday. He hasn't heard from her all week (unusual). Perhaps it's finally sinking in that we're through?

If it makes you feel any better, my MIL sends me an e-card every year, to my DH's email and on my my SIL's birthday.

Where are you tag fairy?!

Man, and that's what a sentance looks like out of context!
And I spelled embarrassed wrong. Of course.

 

[bas71873]

... since then our kids have been on the back burner.. my mil use to tell me "you'll understand when your kids have kids". Meaning I"ll love my girls kids but not my sons I guess.

MiL's loving their daughters children more than their son's children seems to be a reoccurring theme on this thread. I know it is an issue between myself and my MIL. WTH is that all about?

That was just the beginning of a lifetime of small slights, nothing like what others have posted, but my kids have still noticed.

Maybe that's my MIL's problem??? I guess I sank my own ship that day, but I just could not believe that my MIL could be so presumtious.

I don't mind when she makes nasty comments to me and believe me she manages to work them in frequently. I don't think my FIL is nearly as bad as she is, but I do fault him for not standing up to her and doing the right thing.

WOW. I think maybe that's my MIL's issue too. Never thought about it because it's not an issue with my mother and my DD and my brother's kids??

 

[TheIncredibles!]

My MIL went to Macys and changed every single item on our Wedding registry.... Did not know about it till my shower when I was very confused after I started opening gifts.

The very first thing I opened was a black 2 slice toaster. It had the receipt from my gift registry from the giver so it was obvious they bought off of my registry. I had registered for a white 4 slice toaster so I was just a little confused until my MIL spoke up and said "She registered for a white 4 slice toaster. I have no idea what she was thinking with the white, it will be so hard to keep clean. Plus what newly married couple needs a 4 slice toaster?" At that point I knew what she had done.

She changed all the sheets I registered for from prints and solid light colors to solid dark colors. Changed all the white and blue towels to solid dark colors. She was afraid I would have a hard time keeping white things white.

With that color scheme change she also changed our comforter set to match the dark solid sheets sheets and changed the shower curtain to match the towels. (Mind you we had just bought a house a few weeks before the shower and we painted everything to match with what we registered for. We picked a Wedgewood blue wall color with white curtains(she changed those too) and a wedgewood and white comforter set. Wedgewood and white in the adjoining bath. She changed everything to navy and a deep forest green)

She changed the stainless steel pot set to a cheap T-fal set because she did not think I would be able to cook off of the stainless let alone maintain the stainless pans.

Changed all the baking items to cheaper versions because what did I know about baking.

Changed the nice knife set we wanted to just a set of steak knives because I don't cook anyway. (I never had my own home before this. When and where was I supposed to show off my cooking with her?)

Changed the coffee maker that dripped right into the insulated carafe because she thought I'd break it.

There was nothing she left except the cheap stuff like the cooking utensils, and potato peelers etc. She even changed the kitchen towels I wanted. They had cute green checked ones with vegetables embroidered on the ends. She changed those to navy. My kitchen had sage green counters.

We also put big ticket things on there like a TV but we made it clear we were not expecting that. We were doing it because at that time (1995) Macy's gave you a big discount after the date of your shower on any unpurchased items on your registry. We just wanted to get a discount on the TV so we could buy it ourselves. She took all those things off.

She ruined what should have been such a happy time for us. We both still lived at home at that point so we were starting with nothing. We just bought the house but were not planning on moving in till after the wedding. So we were so busy that whole time cleaning, painting, imagining what it would be like when we hung curtains and had things to put in the house... When DH picked me up from the shower to load everything to take them over to the house I burst into tears. When I told him what happened he was absolutely furious.... They got into a huge fight over it and my FIL was involved too. They were able to change the registry because FIL and DH have the same name. All he had to do was show his ID and they were walked around to modify "their" registry.
We were literaly starting with nothing so we were very grateful for everything but like everybody else we were so excited to register for things for our new home. Pick colors, choose appliances etc. She took all of that fun away from us. She made it a nightmare. We were not sure what to do. Do we exchange all those items? If we do that then what happens when Grandma comes over and wants to know where is the navy blue and gold canister set that she bought me? So do we keep everything instead and just buy new in our colors styles when we can afford to? NIGHTMARE!

 

[hambirg]

TheIncredibles!-

OMG!!!

I would have been sooo mad and crying too! I consider myself easy going, but I think that would be something I would NEVER be able to recover from. What is wrong with her? And for the FIL to go along with it too?!