My heart is broken mini update post 243

[lucas]

My heart goes out to you. I think about you and your family every day.

 

[MinnieTink]

I can't even imagine your pain. But so many are sending prayers so I hope that will help. My best friend passed away when we were 21. Her mom says she joined a support group of parents who lost children and those people pretty much saved her life.
Don't try to ever figure out the WHY... There is none. A woman that I went to HS with just lost her 3 young daughters in a crash on the Taconic pkwy in Ny. There is no way to figure out why God or whatever greater power you believe in would take away such young beautiful people like your son and those 3 girls. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I pray for peace in your heart. I know that your soon to be grandchild will be a major blessing for you.
Love and peace to you

 

[DebIreland]

The obituary is beautiful. My heart breaks for you.

 

[MariDisney]

I didn't see this when it was orginally posted. I am so very sorry for this terrible loss. I wish I had some words of comfort for you. Just know that there are so many people you've never even met lifting you in prayer.

 

[luvthatdisney]

I too wanted to offer my deepest sympathy to you and your family. I too have a 19 year old son. It is just heart-breaking to know people have to suffer this way. I watched my father do it when we lost my then 19 year old brother to a car accident 15 years ago. He never fully recovered, life was tolerable for him, but my brother was his world! We lost my father this year, I feel he is now at peace.

We just had a similar accident in our community around the same time as your son's. We lost a 16 year old boy and another has a lot of recovery ahead. The effects on the family and their community is hard, but just remember there has to be a silver lining somewhere. Someday you will find it. Just keep loving that boy, you know he is watching over you now!

 

[chell]

Please get the grief counseling started right away. Like I said earlier Hospice offers wonderful grief counseling. They will have one-on-one sessions and group sessions if you are interested in those. They will not force group sessions on you, but there are there if you feel comfortable going to them later. I agree with others, all three of you need this counseling.

You all are still in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

My heart goes out to you. I think about you and your family every day.

Me too

As the others have said, even if you aren't ready for the counseling, or feel you don't want it yet....go with your other 2 children, for them. Everyone has their own level of hurt, but you are all hurting.

 

[lisaviolet]

we had a service for AJ on wed and it was just family and close friends, about 20 people. They had him there. just to say goodbye, but i didn't want to say goodbye....

Then yesterday we had his celebration of life, and there were so many people, everytime i was breathing again, without tears and snot running down my face someone else would come and hug me and it starts all over.

my family is starting to leave to go home, they all live in the lower 48, by tomorrow they will all be gone, then it's just the 3 of us left.

School starts for me on Monday, my principals said take as much time as i need, but i don't know should i stay home crying all day, or should i try and keep busy, and cry on and off at school??

we are still trying to find out where the possessions that were in the car are. all we get are phone trees and messages. But my sister did call and get his wallet from the hospital, they are shipping it down from anchorage

I don't know what to do. DH is being so strong for me, but I hear him crying in his sleep, so I know he needs me to be strong a little for him.

I never knew I could hurt so much..

Jill - to you all. I'm so incredibly sorry.

 

[TruBlu]

I am overcome with sadness for you and your family. I can't imagine the crushing grief you must feel. I think you should do whatever you have to to get thru this. You could try going back to school, but don't push yourself. Take the time you need to heal.

 

[lovingthemouse]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS]I wanted to extend my deepest sympathy to you and your family. After reading his obituary, I can see that your son was special to so many people. What kind, gentle words were used to describe him.
May I share my return to teaching experience last Sept after my DH passed? I took 2 weeks off and then decided that staying home would only afford me more time to think about him. I also teach middle schoolers, and I have to say that going back was the best thing for me. My students told me that I was part of their school family and if I needed to feel sad, they were there to support me. It is amazing what sadness kids have experienced and what a deep understanding they truly seemed to have!
I hope that you might consider your "extended " family as a support group too, as well as counseling!
May God bless you all [/FONT]

 

[rparmfamily]

I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[wilderness01]

I am so sorry for your loss. God bless your family.

 

[safetymom]

I am so sorry for your loss. May you take comfort in your memories. You will never forget but the days do get softer.

 

[disneymarie]

School starts for me on Monday, my principals said take as much time as i need, but i don't know should i stay home crying all day, or should i try and keep busy, and cry on and off at school??

I don't know what to do. DH is being so strong for me, but I hear him crying in his sleep, so I know he needs me to be strong a little for him.

I never knew I could hurt so much..

I am not sure if having the spouse as the childs father is a help, or more hearts to ache. My dh was the step dad and it was complicated. I never felt I had anyone to be there for me. HE gave me a shoulder and then 2 years later says, life has to go on.

I went back to work just two days after the service to keep busy. I thought I was ok, work saw it written all over my face. I think the needed time to allow me to heal as much as I needed time

Going to work and keeping busy did keep the thoughts a moment away. But, I ended uo takinng two weeks off as it built up in me. I should have taken a week off at least in the beginning. I never knew I needed the time, I was thinking about the loss of pay.

I would suggest try to go back after Labor day. THe first Holiday is the most difficult. Not that they all aren't.

It is a time for you and family, yes you may be around the house crying, but maybe that is what was missing for me. I needed to get the tears out and not hold them in.That is my hind sight.
You do what feels right for you.
My deepest love and prayers are with you.
di

 

[DebIreland]

AlaskaMOM, just bumping this to let you know we're all still here, thinking about you and happy to listen if you need to vent or 'talk'.

 

[Luv2Scrap]

AlaskaMOM, I was thinking about you today, too. How are you doing?

 

[Tricia1972]

 

[Darsa]

My thoughts are with you; I think of you and your family a lot. I remember helping my brother and his wife through the sudden loss of their daughter, and how very painful it was to lose my neice. I do pray that you are able to find peace, and know that your son knows how much you love him and loves you right back as much.

to you all.

 

[Philagoofy]

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

 

[Trish Bessette]

Jill please know you are in my thoughts and prayers every day. My heart aches for you.

Remember to breathe and take each moment as it comes. Find comfort in your family and friends as well as your DIS friends.