My heart is broken mini update post 243

[hegsag]

I am so very sorry for your loss. My heart breaks just thinking about you.

 

[Goofy22]

Let me first say that I am deeply Sorry for your loss! I have been reading since you first posted but I was trying to think of the right thing to say. Knowing all to well there is nothing anyone can do to make it better only time will help you make it through the days a little easier it's always tough. I lost My nephew to a housefire in 2004 and I had him almost everyday since my sis is a single mom I actually had him the day a few hours prior to his house fire and I felt so guilty for a really long time because I let my Sis's BF take him and the BF caused the fire to make a long story short! Well He died in the fire my other nephew died and they revived him ! It was a mess but I had to plan my deceased nephews funeral like he was my own because my sis was in Pa at the Burn center with his brother! It was harder then words can say and Iknow nothing anyone says can help make it better it's just good to have ppl who care there for you and know they are there. I hope that you will get counseling as I have seen first hand my sis did not and neither did my niece or nephew and they basically fell apart. My niece came to live with me . My nephew still has many issues and my Sis is beyond help . So please do even if you think you don't need it or someone else thinks they are ok please if nothing else goto counseling because there are definitely things that you will not tell each other to be strong for each other! I hardly ever cried and tried to be strong for everyone and eventually about a month or so later I just lost it and it helped alot after a month or two of being strong for everyone I finally gave in it was hard but it was much needed. Once again I am truely sorry for your loss and only time will help you to help yourself but I cannot say it enough please goto counseling if nothing else.

 

[AlaskaMOM]

Life is going on....
Although most of it is passing us. We'e been back to work and school. We have all been to a grief counselor. She has given us some tools to use to help work through this.

I did have an especially bad day yesterday. I was organizing some of AJ's boyhood treasures; putting them in plastic crates to keep them safe, so his daughter has tangible things from her dad. I just started bawling when I got to his Disney stuff. He had won 2 Dreams: his special pins and his fastpass. along with the room cards from a number of trips. He was so much of a little bragger about his dreams!! (I so wanted to get something, and see them given out, but he got them when he went off to ride in single rider lines....on everest, and one for the crushngusher? at Typhoon)
All his drawing books, and the rocks he was so fascinated with that he would beg us to BUY at stores. His swim ribbons and trophy. And his hats, he had so many hats, all kinds: ballcaps, dreadlocks, chinaman hat, fedora, etc. He loved wearing his hats and being goofy in them.

I am dreading this week. All of his belongings in his car have to be picked up by me and dh. So we have to go up to Anchorage, see his car, and see his stuff. (we will fly, as I don't think I will ever be able to do the drive again, see the spot where it happened)

Will they have cleaned up all the blood? Maybe they will have taken out the stuff from the car, and then we can claim it? (I don't think so, but really hope) I don't want to see it, the place where the truck ripped off the roof of his car.... The car he was so happy to have, a new car for him in June.

I am still soo sad. DD had her baby friday 8-21 and I am so sad that I can't be more happy for her.

Life is still going on........

 

[LoraJ]

*hugs*

I am sending you strength to get you through the week.

 

[MariDisney]

Continuing to pray for you and your family.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

 

[CJ's Mommy]

I am just so sorry. Your baby granddaughter will carry on a piece of your son. Maybe as she grows, you will see him in her and it will help to ease the pain. I hope. So sorry.

 

[SpecialK]

I'm so sorry. My heart just aches for you.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

Life is going on....
Although most of it is passing us. We'e been back to work and school. We have all been to a grief counselor. She has given us some tools to use to help work through this.

I did have an especially bad day yesterday. I was organizing some of AJ's boyhood treasures; putting them in plastic crates to keep them safe, so his daughter has tangible things from her dad. I just started bawling when I got to his Disney stuff. He had won 2 Dreams: his special pins and his fastpass. along with the room cards from a number of trips. He was so much of a little bragger about his dreams!! (I so wanted to get something, and see them given out, but he got them when he went off to ride in single rider lines....on everest, and one for the crushngusher? at Typhoon)
All his drawing books, and the rocks he was so fascinated with that he would beg us to BUY at stores. His swim ribbons and trophy. And his hats, he had so many hats, all kinds: ballcaps, dreadlocks, chinaman hat, fedora, etc. He loved wearing his hats and being goofy in them.

I am dreading this week. All of his belongings in his car have to be picked up by me and dh. So we have to go up to Anchorage, see his car, and see his stuff. (we will fly, as I don't think I will ever be able to do the drive again, see the spot where it happened)

Will they have cleaned up all the blood? Maybe they will have taken out the stuff from the car, and then we can claim it? (I don't think so, but really hope) I don't want to see it, the place where the truck ripped off the roof of his car.... The car he was so happy to have, a new car for him in June.

I am still soo sad. DD had her baby friday 8-21 and I am so sad that I can't be more happy for her.

Life is still going on........

Is this your DS's baby, or your DD's baby?

Just know you are in our thoughts and prayers......One day at a time

 

[disneymarie]

I think of you every single day. every day, wondering as you go down this journey.

Can someone make calls about the car and find out if someone can remove the belongings? Really better to not see the car at all and not need to have that vision. There are enough things to deal with, that is one that could be avoided. I would let the car go to salvage without looking at it.

I know it seems so hard, and it is to go through the belongings, the memories. I still have my dd home she rented from me. A lot of things are gone, furniture wise, TV and doll collections. But the clothes are still all there. I do not have the physical or emotional strength to go through them.

The depositions start soon in my dd legal case and I pretty much have recent rough days. I did start a new program for at risk youth, volunteer run as no cash right now, but the space is donated and I WILL get this program going. In her memory, I know how proud she would be.
No matter what we do, we honor our children.
Honor their children too, or the ones in "the village."
Love those grand babies up.

My hugs, and prayers
di

 

[minniecarousel]

As a Mom, I don't ever want to know first-hand what you're going through, but I can certainly sympathize. I can't imagine anything more heart-wrenching.

Continued prayers for you and the rest of your family.

Hang in there.

 

[AlaskaMOM]

Is this your DS's baby, or your DD's baby?

Just know you are in our thoughts and prayers......One day at a time

Aj's baby is due in Oct. Tho his GF is now on bed rest because of early contractions, hopefully she can stay well rested and try to keep the stress down. Tho that is very hard with the memories she has to deal with.

DD who lives in another state had her baby boy aug 21.

 

[AlaskaMOM]

I think of you every single day. every day, wondering as you go down this journey.

Can someone make calls about the car and find out if someone can remove the belongings? Really better to not see the car at all and not need to have that vision. There are enough things to deal with, that is one that could be avoided. I would let the car go to salvage without looking at it.

I know it seems so hard, and it is to go through the belongings, the memories. I still have my dd home she rented from me. A lot of things are gone, furniture wise, TV and doll collections. But the clothes are still all there. I do not have the physical or emotional strength to go through them.

The depositions start soon in my dd legal case and I pretty much have recent rough days. I did start a new program for at risk youth, volunteer run as no cash right now, but the space is donated and I WILL get this program going. In her memory, I know how proud she would be.
No matter what we do, we honor our children.
Honor their children too, or the ones in "the village."
Love those grand babies up.

My hugs, and prayers
di

Unfortunately dh and i are the only ones that can take any of the possessions from the car. Absolutely absurd, but how alaska troopers work I guess. I did have a friend who went to the trooper office here and asked about it (she hears some of my problems and wanted to "fix" some of them) they will not relese propety to someone else. I would have thought that in cases like this that they would be moe sympathetic to the family and not make them see the vehicle?????

Hugs to disneymarie for the rough road you've been traveling on, and continue to travel.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

Aj's baby is due in Oct. Tho his GF is now on bed rest because of early contractions, hopefully she can stay well rested and try to keep the stress down. Tho that is very hard with the memories she has to deal with.

DD who lives in another state had her baby boy aug 21.

Congratulations to you and your DD. And, I hope Aj's girlfriend does well on bed rest... I know it's hard to sit still, and probalby even harder for her because I"m sure she wants to keep busy! Hugs to you all

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

I just want to offer you my sincerest condolences. I wish there were words I could type that would help you deal with everything but... there are none.

 

[dismom2]

That must have been so hard for you to go through his things---all the memories flooding back. I am keeping you in my prayers tonight. So sorry for what you are going through.

 

[autumnpalm]

I just wanted to add my condolences, thoughts and prayers with everyone else's. It is unimaginable what you are going through and I hope you are surrounded by comfort and support right now. Congratulations on your new grandson and I hope he is able to bring your family joy in such an awful time. Lots of love.

 

[*Flower*]

Still praying that you and your family have the strength to carry on....

 

[mrsmom]

Continue prayers for your family
Kim

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I can't even begin to understand how you feel. I do want you to know that I am so sorry for your loss even those those words seem so small.