My Dh Just Surrendered Our Cat

[DisneyFan32WI]

Thank you everyone.

I think I need to take some time away from the DISboards....I was in a frantic place when I posted, and I wasn't thinking clearly. I just needed to "talk." There wasn't anyone here besides the computer to vent to. I feel worse now than I did earlier and I take full responsibility for everything. It is so hard to convey thoughts/feelings over the internet. I have painted a truly negative image of myself and my values.

For those that weren't so hard on me, you are truly compassionate and wonderful souls for looking at this from all angles. It means more than you know. God bless you.

Thank you again for your time...and I am truly sorry for everything.

I really can't come back to this thread so you don't need to post. MODS-feel free to close.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

My thoughts are along the same line as Scurvy's

Lots of times it's easier to give up on an animal than it is to fix whatever the problem is. That's one reason shelters are so full of animals who need homes, and it's the reason so many animals are put to death every day.

The OP had a well adjusted, well behaved cat for years. She chose to add a new pet to her household and to allow that pet to torment the well behaved cat. Once the original cat started misbehaving, she washed her hands of it and gave it away. She gave no indication that they tried everything they could to rectify the problem. It sounds to me like she did take the easy way out. Now she posts on here, and some people will say she did what she had to and shouldn't feel bad. When others point out that she had other options, her defenders will call them "haters" and say the haters don't know what they're talking about. It happens all the time on here. The OP isn't new; she had to know what she was going to hear when she posted. She failed the cat. She gave up on her and allowed their new cat to stalk her to the point that she misbehaved. (Assuming that it really was behavioral and not a medical issue, that is.) The OP herself says the male cat didn't even leave her alone to pee. Of course she stopped using the litter box. She was stressed and her owners did nothing to help her, they just tossed her aside in favor of their new cat. I certainly hope they don't decide to collect any more animals, since their old pets will probably get abandoned if the new ones don't play well with them.


I can't speak for wvjules but since I agreed with that post, I'll give you my reasoning. If I had two formerly well behaved cats, and brought in a new cat who terrorized one of them to the point that it developed behavioral issues, I'd feel an obligation to protect my original cats. Of course I wouldn't have allowed the new cat to torture the original cat for all those years, so it wouldn't be quite the same situation. The new cat is the cause for the original cat's issues. (Again, assuming it isn't a medical problem.) The newer cat doesn't have issues and presumably is younger. It would have a better chance of finding a new home than the poor original cat would. I wouldn't ruin my old cat by allowing it to be tortured for years and then toss it aside. I would keep it and work with it to resolve it's problems, and I would find a new home for the newer stray if I had to. I'd hate to give up either pet, but if they were simply not compatible I'd give up the one that was most likely to find a new home rather than condemning one to a life in a shelter.

I feel than when you take on a pet, you have the responsibility to give it a loving home and a good life for as long as humanly possible. I certainly wouldn't toss either cat away without first trying everything I possibly could to resolve the issues, and I definitely wouldn't worry more about my carpet than about the cat. It's a matter of priorities, and obviously the OP and her husband "had" to do what worked best with their priorities.

and Lisa Loves Pooh's

My husband would have been in the doghouse.

my husband nor I would get rid of a pet without consultation or agreement with one another.

I am most bothered by the lazy fix that your husband did.

Although I suspect that underlying the "upset", the OP agreed with his decision. It was just easier to let him be the heavy.

Jennasis, can I come back as one of your barn cats in my next life?

 

[Anne34]

Rough tough crowd. I'm sorry you hurt. I can't and won't judge your decisions. They are yours alone. Sorry you shared and were beat up for it.

I totally agree -- don't know what is going on in your life. My husband probably would have done the same thing. In know my neighbors gave a way a cat that was peeing all over the house -- they tried for months to get it to stop and finally couldn't take it anymore. No judgement here.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Thank you everyone.

I think I need to take some time away from the DISboards....I was in a frantic place when I posted, and I wasn't thinking clearly. I just needed to "talk." There wasn't anyone here besides the computer to vent to. I feel worse now than I did earlier and I take full responsibility for everything. It is so hard to convey thoughts/feelings over the internet. I have painted a truly negative image of myself and my values.

For those that weren't so hard on me, you are truly compassionate and wonderful souls for looking at this from all angles. It means more than you know. God bless you.

Thank you again for your time...and I am truly sorry for everything.

I really can't come back to this thread so you don't need to post. MODS-feel free to close.

Criticism is hard to hear, especially when it causes you to really think about other angles of the situation. I'm really sorry you're hurting. (And to be honest, I'm sorry for your cats tonight as well, especially the brother/sister pair.) It's too bad you didn't ask for advice before your husband took such drastic measures. I believe in your heart you really love and care about the cat, and were trying to do a good thing by taking in the stray. But like many pet owners, it was difficult to see the situation for what it was living in and with the stress of it and it got out of control. I agree with the pp that material things are great, but they don't compare to those we love in our lives, and for many of us, that includes our pets.

 

[lisaviolet]

For those that weren't so hard on me, you are truly compassionate and wonderful souls for looking at this from all angles. It means more than you know. God bless you.

I don't know if you thought I was without compassion at all OP or hard on you. But I am a truly compassionate and wonderful soul nonetheless. As I'm sure many were that were affected by your post.

I think you're not realizing how gut wrenching it is for some of us to think of your cat and then our own pets. When I read your thread I turned to my cat - that pees - unfortunately - no sarcasm - and imagined him alone in a shelter and that was gut wrenching.

And the more and more I think about it - this is a good thread in the end - it will give many people thought not to get a cat if this scares them. So in the end that is good.