My Dh Just Surrendered Our Cat

[DVCLiz]

Wow. Sad situation. I have two barn cats (that I raised from birth). They are almost 8. Brother and sister.

A stray showed up a few weeks ago (a male) and has made himself at home. My female HATES him and picks fights with him all the time. She's very territorial.

They are outdoor cats exclusively (but don't tell them that...they still love to snuggle). If I had any issue with them and the stray like you described that was destructive to my property in some way, I would bring them to the vet immediately.

Sorry. You guys made a bad call. 8 years out the window. I wonder if my mother contemplated giving me away for the numerous bedspreads and mattresses I ruined as a bed-peeing kid (for many years). The cat is a part of the family or it isn't.

That's ridiculous. There's no equating a child with an animal. We all love our pets but they are NOT human and no one should forget that.

 

[Imzadi]

I am very surprised that you decided to remove the sibling first, the one that wasn't even the one peeing everywhere. Actually I am quite shocked the more I think about it. I had two cats that were siblings. When one of the siblings passed away, the other sibling was very sad for the longest time.

I just can't imagine getting rid of a pet I had for eight years because another pet had a peeing problem.

You read the OP incorrectly. They got rid of the peeing cat.

The two cats that got along with each other weren't a problem for the husband, as all the cats' relationships with each other didn't affect him. He got rid of the one cat that did affect him.

 

[Hannathy]

I hope you gave the shelter a very big donation, that cat is going to be there a long time.

 

[Scurvy]

Sorry, but why did you let him do it? The stray should've gone first. What happens to her now, she's not just a disposible commodity. You should be ashamed!
Harsh I know, but you asked !!!!

I agree with this post!!!

That is why it is such a big decision in getting a pet, once you do they are yours good and bad.
I could never do that to an animal that trusted me for 8 yrs. At 8yrs it will be very difficult to be adopted and will probably spend a very long time in a cage hoping it's family comes back and wondering why it deserted it.
Very sad If my DH even thought of doing something like that I'd be at that shelter getting the cat and he had better be thinking of finding a shelter for his butt.

I agree with Eliza32 also. Why would you get a new cat, allow it to terrorize your other cat, and then get rid of her? That seems so cruel. Why didn't you protect her from your new cat? Why did you let it get to the point that she was so stressed that she was peeing everywhere? Did you at least try everything to fix the problem before giving up on her? Did you take her to the vet and try changing litterboxes or adding another box, using the sprays, and everything else that might have worked? If you didn't then you failed that poor cat.

Regarding the bolded - not necessarily. I hate to say it, but the reality is that there are very few real "no-kill" shelters. Most shelters that bill themselves as being "no-kill" really mean that they don't actually kill the animals themselves. If they decide that the animal isn't likely to be adopted and that they need room for animals that are likely to be adopted, then they pass the animal off to another shelter which does kill any animals which have been been there too long.

OP, I'm sorry you and your husband decided to surrender your cat to the shelter. I do hope it is truly a no-kill shelter and that the cat can find a new, loving forever home with people who won't abandon her.

 

[Angelhalo]

If you'd just had her put to sleep I'd be more inclined to side with the haters, but since it was a no-kill shelter I think you made the right decision. I love my pets dearly but I wouldn't let an animal destroy my house with urine and feces - too close to "Hoarders" for my taste.

I don't think anyone is a "hater" just because they wonder why there were no prior steps taken before dumping a family member off at a shelter.

 

[WDSearcher]

I am very surprised that you decided to remove the sibling first, the one that wasn't even the one peeing everywhere. Actually I am quite shocked the more I think about it. I had two cats that were siblings. When one of the siblings passed away, the other sibling was very sad for the longest time.

I just can't imagine getting rid of a pet I had for eight years because another pet had a peeing problem. I wouldn't even of gotten rid of the eight year old for peeing unless I thought the problem couldn't be corrected. Doesn't sound to me like you even tried to figure out a solution for the peeing issue.

I am also not for sure why you think the comforter is ruined just because it was peed on. Target, Walmart, Kmart all sell products that remove cat stains. Sorry can't think of the name at the moment but i have used the spray on a comforter that a cat accidently peed on, then threw the comforter in the wash and it was good as new. Absolutely no after smell at all and the cat never had an accident again. Turns out she had a bladder infection and peeing on soft blankets didn't hurt as much as peeing in the litter box.

I think you may have misread the OP. The cat that was removed WAS the cat that was peeing all over.

To the OP -- it's a bit over-dramatic to think you're going to hell for this. I know it's very emotional, but let's not toss on the hairshirt just yet. Personally, I think you should have accompanied your husband to the shelter and particpated in the relinquishment process. Not to torture yourself more, but to act responsibly. You were responsible for this cat, and you needed to be there when the cat was relinquished, IMO. Allowing him to do it while you sit at home, typing through the tears and looking for support doesn't seem right. And if the decision was made without ever taking the female to the vet to find out if, perhaps, the problem was medical and not behavioral, then that's another thing that was done wrong.

During the three months of pooing and peeing, did you search for a new home for the cat (either the female or the male troublemaker) yourselves? If not, then ... well ... another thing that could have been done to avoid all of the self-loathing now. Plus, it sounds like this was the path of least resistance -- your husband got fed up, scooped up the cat, and off to the shelter he went. The cat will probably get perfectly good care at the shelter -- may even find a new home. Her sibling will always wonder where she went, and you may find that the "newer" cat continues to act up -- perhaps now bullying the remaining cat, since his sparring partner is gone.

Please think NOW about how you will handle it if the stray you took in starts ganging up on the other boy. Start looking at the behavior and how to correct it. Don't wait until someone gets fed up with another cat and whisks it off to the shelter in anger and frustration!

I do think you made the wrong decision, though. You had the female for eight years, and you haven't had this problem until the past three months. You've had the stray for two years, and apparently the relationship with the stray and the female has been fine except for the last three months (maybe not ideal, but you said the pooing and peeing has been recent). She's apparently been coexisting with him without the peeing for quite some time. That should have clued you into the fact that there was more going on here than just the newer cat.

 

[Jennasis]

That's ridiculous. There's no equating a child with an animal. We all love our pets but they are NOT human and no one should forget that.

Of course it's ridiculous (I was being facetious). And so is getting rid of the cat after 8 years over some urine without going to the vet first for a possible cause.

However, I am pretty sure the OP will swoop in here any moment and announce OF COURSE we tried the vet, I just didn't mention it cause I was so upset and not thinking straight. That's how these threads usually roll.

 

[Angelhalo]

Of course it's ridiculous (I was being facetious). And so is getting rid of the cat after 8 years over some urine without going to the vet first for a possible cause.

However, I am pretty sure the OP will swoop in here any moment and announce OF COURSE we tried the vet, I just didn't mention it cause I was so upset and not thinking straight. That's how these threads usually roll.

Yep, that's the standard M.O.

 

[DizBelle]

As far as I know the Humane Society is not a no kill shelter. An 8 year old cat is not very likley to get adopted. Poor kitty.

 

[Imzadi]

However, I am pretty sure the OP will swoop in here any moment and announce OF COURSE we tried the vet, I just didn't mention it cause I was so upset and not thinking straight. That's how these threads usually roll.

Yep, that's the standard M.O.

I often wonder if long time posters who post such controversial post and KNOW the type of responses their posts will cause are simply off their meds

, their emotional filters are off, and they need a little drama in their lives, so they post these kinds of posts, then sit back to watch the drama unfolding.

I'm sorry if this post is full of typos and what not, but I am crying at my computer and I am shaking.

We have 3 cats. 2 of them are brother/sister. They are 8 years old. We adopted a stray almost 2 years ago. He doesn't get along with the girl cat. He stalks her, chases her, etc. He does, however, get along with the male cat. They are the best buddies in the entire world. They roll around together all day long.

The girl cat has been pooping around the house over the last 3 months. Just within the last 2 weeks she has started to PEE around the house. I can tolerate the poop, but obviously can't take the peeing. Today, I came home from work to take a short nap and my bed was SOAKING wet. EVERYTHING was ruined. Down comforter, bedspread, sheets, mattress pad and mattress.

I'm sure it's behavioral. The boy really doesn't leave her alone-even to pee! I think he enjoys the "hunt" or thinks he can play with her like he does with the boy.
Anyway, my dh is fed up and took her to the Humane Society to surrender her. My DD is upstairs crying her eyes out. She is not happy with us. I am at the computer cying because I don't know if this was the right decision. It is a no-kill shelter, so I am happy about that.

I think I am going to hell for what I did. Who just gives away their family member that they have had for 8 years? Ughh..I feel like I am a failure and that I have given up. I should've fought harder to keep her? Maybe this is best? I am really beating myself up...I can't stop crying.

29 posts and no one New Ruled her.



Once every blue moon, when I'd have to go out of town for a couple days or work double shifts, my cat would poop in my bed out of anxiety at being "abandoned" for so long. I knew it was situational as this was the only times it happened. I began covering the bed with a plastic sheet over the whole bed.

The last time it happened, she had clawed the edge of the sheet, pushed it over and then went. I had come home at 2am, dog tired and was FURIOUS that I had to come home to deal with this when I was so exhausted. I felt like turning her in to the pound, too. Luckily it was night time so I had to stew on it.

Of course, the next morning, I knew I wasn't going to bring her in. Instead, I bought a waterproof mattress cover. I had to replace the memory foam pad anyway as it was sagging. So that was replaced for good measure. She hasn't gone since. If she does, I'll just take all the bedding off, down to the waterproof cover and toss on fresh stuff. Done.

 

[FergieTCat]

Nice. The OP feels bad enough without everyone telling her what a horrible person she is.

You have no idea what transpired between her and her husband before he got rid of the cat. Maybe the OP did the best she could and lost the fight.

 

[clarabelle]

I am always surprised that people post this kind of thing on the DIS.

One time a woman posted about putting her son if foster care and got more support with that post that I have ever seen with someone giving up a pet.

The Dis doesn't look kindly to giving away a pet under any circumstances.
It doesn't matter if it is ruining your house or your marriage -you are stuck with it for life.

OP I am sorry you are going through this.

 

[Imzadi]

Of course it's ridiculous (I was being facetious).

You can't be facetious on the DIS. For one thing, people have to Google the meaning of that word. Second, the people who have to Google that word, are usually the same ones who missed that undertone to your sentence in the first place.

 

[WDSearcher]

As far as I know the Humane Society is not a no kill shelter. An 8 year old cat is not very likley to get adopted. Poor kitty.

That very much depends on the shelter. Unless you're speaking specifically of the exact shelter the OP's husband took the cat to, there's know way of knowing whether it is "no kill" or not. A lot of people say "Humane Society" as a generic term to indicate any facility that takes unwanted animals. Unless you know the name of the shelter and have researched it, saying it's not a no kill shelter is a bit premature.

 

[DVCLiz]

Wow. Sad situation. I have two barn cats (that I raised from birth). They are almost 8. Brother and sister.

A stray showed up a few weeks ago (a male) and has made himself at home. My female HATES him and picks fights with him all the time. She's very territorial.

They are outdoor cats exclusively (but don't tell them that...they still love to snuggle). If I had any issue with them and the stray like you described that was destructive to my property in some way, I would bring them to the vet immediately.

Sorry. You guys made a bad call. 8 years out the window. I wonder if my mother contemplated giving me away for the numerous bedspreads and mattresses I ruined as a bed-peeing kid (for many years). The cat is a part of the family or it isn't.

I'm curious, Jennasis, about how you will/are handling this situation. It seems similar to the OP's situation. Why are you letting another cat stress your pet? Why should she have to fight and become territorial to defend the space she has come to think of as hers? Are you just going to let the stray move in and take over to the detriment of your cat, as long as she doesn't pee in your house?

It just seems odd that you are so appalled by the OP's post and yet your own cat is also being somewhat bullied and it doesn't seem to bother you.

 

[FergieTCat]

You can't be facetious on the DIS. For one thing, people have to Google the meaning of that word. Second, the people who have to Google that word, are usually the same ones who missed that undertone to your sentence in the first place.

OK, I admit, that was funny.

 

[Chelley00]

OP Sorry about your cat. It's never easy to give up an animal, even if you do feel it's for the best.

And I'm also sorry you are getting so much grief about it here.

 

[DVCLiz]

You can't be facetious on the DIS. For one thing, people have to Google the meaning of that word. Second, the people who have to Google that word, are usually the same ones who missed that undertone to your sentence in the first place.

I didn't miss anything, Imzadi, but thanks for the vocabulary lesson.

 

[disneyfans95]

Hard choice, but the right one to make..

You can't spend the time, money or effort and did what you had to do.

Don't let anyone get you down.

 

[DVCLiz]

Nice. The OP feels bad enough without everyone telling her what a horrible person she is.

You have no idea what transpired between her and her husband before he got rid of the cat. Maybe the OP did the best she could and lost the fight.

I think that's a big issue sometimes - maybe not in the OP's case, but many times. Doing the best you can is sometimes as much as you can do.