My daughter is being sent home for wearing a USA headband to school today!!!!

[olena]

I think you should go ahead and relate the story to the local paper as an editorial. That's just ridiculous! Today has evoked enough emotions for everyone. Lauren had the right idea...BRAVO to her and her friends.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Good to hear it was resolved, Teresa.

 

[Wagamama]

I would call your local media station and tell them about this and the un patritotic attitude of your school.

 

[Rajah]

What I'd be concerned about if you contacted the paper would be even further singling out of your daughter and/or her friends later in the year. On one hand, this rediculous attitude toward a patriotic headband on a day to show patriotism should be brought to attention for the anti-patriotism act it seems to be. On the other, you don't want it coming back to hurt your daughter. That's a tough call. Because even if you didn't name the school and/or your daughter, the administration and the teacher who reported her would know who the story was about.

 

[Nuts4Disney]

I am sittinging here, listening to them call the names of the lost & watching the family members.

I can not imagine what the school administration was thinking. It certainly seems like it was a bad call. The lack of sensitivity shown on a day when emotions are running so high is disgraceful. IMO, your daughter is owed an apology. That would've been a real "learning experience" for her -- how to admit one's errors & make amends.

It seems odd that since your daughter dressed this way with her friends that only she was singled out. But being a teenager is tough enough, & she might not want any more made of it. If she is already embarassed, she might not want it printed in the newspaper for all her friends, the town, etc., to see. I think I would talk to her first about it.

I hope your daughter's school year goes better after this. Best wishes.

 

[Laurabearz]

I would be upset too.... I am glad they backed down, but also kinda wish they hadnt... just so you could call the media in......

I just dont get it...... (((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

 

[Serena]

Theresa, you did good mom. That was just utterly stupid of them. I'm glad they backed down, believe me they would not have wanted that battle today.
You did great, I'm proud of you and of your daughter and her friend.

 

[rbuzzotta]

Lauren, if you read this..........you go girl. Stand up for your beliefs. It seems you are within the dress code guidelines and showed Patriotism. How creative for you and your friends to make Patriotic outfits as a tribute to America and all that has happened. Teachers should be focusing on those students who abide by the rules and show creativity.

My DD wore a white headband today to match her REd, white and blue New York (picture of the skyline) shirt, along with her jeans...........

I am upsset that this happened to you.

 

[leahannpen]

That is just stupid! Some teacher was having a bad day and took it out on your poor daughter, who was doing nothing wrong.

You have every right to be mad as heck and I don't blame you at all. I hope your dear daughter decided to keep her stuff on and wear it with pride! Good for her, and good for you! Shame on those teachers..... like they don't have anything better to do. Unreal!

 

[DocRafiki]

What is the real story here? Did they say she had to go home and change, or did she WANT to come home and change, because you're saying both. They probably just wanted her to remove the headband.

If she didn't like being singled out at school, I don't think she'd want it in the papers. She probably knows which teacher it was. You should get the teachers and administrators involved to give her an apology. What a fuss over nothing! Teachers just don't understand how these things at such an impressionable age will stick with these kids for a long time.

 

[Poohbear123]

Stupidity is quite common unfortunately

 

[CarolMN]

I'm so sorry this happened to your daughter (and you). Congratulations for sticking up for what is right. IMHO, this school needs to re examine its entire policy on "head coverings"!

The assistant vice principal, the one who called me initially, said that they were in a meeting with the principal, and also the security guard and another teacher to decide what constitutes a "head covering". Apparently students are not allowed to wear hats, scarves, or anything else that covers the whole head.

Are there no Muslims in NJ? Here in Minneapolis/St. Paul, we have a rather large Somali community. Most are Muslims and many wear the traditional clothing, including the headcovering for women. It is not uncommon to see them wearing their traditional clothing in our public schools. If I understand your daughter's school's policy, these young Muslim women would not be allowed to attend your daughter's school wearing their normal, every day clothing.

I absolutely understand the need to discourage/control gang behavior and/or dress that is distracting to others. No argument from me on that! But there must be SOME way that doesn't prohibit a young citizen from expressing her patriotism in such an innocuous manner (especially on September 11) or the free expression of religion.

I'm proud to be a member of a community that has people like you and your daughter in it!

Best wishes!

 

[TeresaNJ]

Clarification, actually DocRafiki, from what I understand is that the asst. vice pricipal told Lauren she would have to take the hair band off. She was very upset as one, she has worn a hair band to school every single day since school started this year and no one ever said a word to her, and this was a hair band that had USA on it, and two, she had her hair styled in accordance with the hair band, so her hair would have looked silly to her with the hair band off, as the top of her hair would have been flat with curls all around the sides and back. After the school made her call me to come get her because she refused to take the hair band off, and after I told them I was calling a lawyer and the newspapers, then they backed off and said it was deemed okay. Lauren then asked me to come get her so she could get changed, as at that point she just wanted to fade into the background. I convinced her to stay in school and leave what she had on on.

Again, I think she was being singled out for some reason other than the hair band. Why only her? Why not her friend who had on almost the exact same thing? Some of you may think she was wrong for just not taking the hair band off, but I don't think she was. It was a regular hair band. She has worn one every day this year in different colors to match her outfit, blue, black, brown, beige, etc. She has short curly hair, and she wears the hair band to keep the hair in front out of her face, and the rest of her hair is curly. No, normally she doesn't wear hair bands with sayings on them, but today was special and the school requested that the students wear red, white and blue. She made the hair band to match her red shirt and blue jeans. She also painted red, white and blue stars on her jeans. Should she have been told to take them off too? The whole thing is completely ridiculous, and I still can't believe it happened.

I've got a call in the the principal and the superintendant, but have not heard back from either of them yet, as they are at a memorial tribute at the middle school. How ironic.

 

[Dream]

Your daughter learned many important lessons today. Zurg has mentioned one of them!!! I know teens "psyches" can be "fragile" but its things like this that make them strong!!! She stood up for what she knew in her heart was right!!! WOO HOO!!! These "opportunities" are few and far between. It's a shame she had to experience this but sometimes life deals ya lemons (another lesson!). If it was me I would not make a big deal about this to the media. Your daughter would be the only one to suffer and with the right words from you she will feel like she "won". Sparks were shooting out of my ears just reading your post so I can only imagine how you felt and are still feeling!!! I am glad the school administration had more sense than that teacher....that is a GOOD thing! Take a deeeeep breath and give your daughter a big hug for me when she gets home...she done good!!! (and so did YOU! )

 

[TeresaNJ]

Thanks Dream. Actually, the school administration, re: asst. vp, was going to make her go home for refusing to take the hair band off. They only backed down and said they reevaluated it and everything was okay, after I threatened to call a lawyer and the media. It just makes me sick that this happened. I had just finished looking at and listening to Pete's memorial tribute and was feeling so sad and melancholy, and my emotions were running high when Lauren initially called to tell me to come get her. I think that is one of the reasons I reacted so stronly to the asst. vp. I am usually quite reserved (LOL). I'm thinking of what a sad day this is, and THIS is what this school is concentrating on!! Made no sense to me at all. I'll have to talk to Lauren when she gets home and find out how the rest of her day went before her and I decide to do anything else. I think I will be satisfied if I can at least make the superintendant and the school board aware of the inadequacies of the enforcement of the dress code.

 

[RumpleMom]

Today has been named Patriot's Day. In America we have the right to individual freedom, as long as we do not harm another person.

Your daughter stood up (and to an adult) for her individual freedom; you can be very proud of her. This experience will make her stronger for anything she has to face in the future. It is wonderful to hear something good about teenagers.
This young lady will never be the victim of peer pressure. She can think for herself.

Individual freedom has made our country strong from the very beginning and makes us different from and better than those who want to destroy America.

 

[danacara]

I would be sorely tempted to call the media, except that the pushback from your school district might be severe. Put simply, if you call the media and the school is embarrassed, her grades and college recommendations might suffer. Think hard about what is right for your family in this case, I could see an argument either way.

 

[zulaya]

I would definitely talk with teh principal and superintendent about this. Make all the points everyone else has made.

Why was she singled out?
How was her outfit violating the dress code or offending anyone?
Why didn't the teacher who reported her not have the decency to speak to your daughter first?
Why is the school condemning patriotism on this day of all days?
Why do they take their definitions of zero tolerance so far that it infringes on our freedoms?

Make sure you document EVERYTHING! SO in case you decide to go to the media, you have it all documented and that the school administration knows you have it documented and that you will take action if you daughter is treated this way again.

 

[SuiteDisney]

I'm so proud of both of you! (((hugs)))

 

[onemichelle]

Please let us know what happens when Lauren gets home. You must be a wonderful parent to have such a special daughter. Hang in there.