ckr, I've read your last post several times before replying. I'm very glad for you that your nine year old daughter is so respectful of everyone at all times. However, when she is a teenager and trying to assert herself and be her own person, I can honestly say I'm 100% sure she will not please you at all times. I'm 100% sure you will be saying to yourself, as many of us mother's of teens do, where is my sweet, darling daughter in that teenager's body.
Secondly, my daughter did not "snitch" on her friends. She did not name names. She stated that there were at least six girls in her immediate vicinity who had headbands on also. I never said the other girls were my daughter's friends, just that there were other students with headbands on also in the same immediate area. My daughter's friends, who made their headbands with my daughter, were not with my daughter at the time. Lauren was not trying to get anyone else in trouble, she wanted to know why she was the only one confronted, when there were girls all around her with headbands on.
Third, your reference to speeding is not comparing apples to apples. Everyone knows that speeding is wrong. Lauren did not know that wearing a headband was against the rules as it has never been made an issue to her knowledge, and I would think if anyone else had ever been made to take a headband off, she would have heard about it, as you know how things fly through the school grapevine. Again, please keep in mind that if she had any inkling that wearing a headband was against the rules she would not have worn one. As far as I know, headgear had been interpreted as hats, scarves, anything covering the whole head, not an adornment to keep hair out of your eyes. Also, as I've said repeatedly, she has always worn headbands, along with bows, barrettes, ribbons, ponytail holders, etc., since kindergarten. Why would she think she was doing something wrong now?
Maybe you're right in that she wasn't "singled out", just caught the vp on a bad day, I don't know, but it sure appeared that way to me, considering all the facts. A few of you are focusing on the fact that she didn't kowtow to an "authority" figure. Personally, I don't want my daughter to blidnly obey every authority figure she comes in contact with. She was not disrespectful. She was asked to take the headband off, and she said no, she wasn't going to take it off. I don't blame her. The dress code does not mention anywhere that headbands are not allowed. Throughout her whole middle school and highschool career, she has worn them too many times to count, and prior to this school year she has worn many colorful ones. This is the only one she has worn that has had USA on it though. The school asked the students to be patriotic and wear red, white and blue that day. So it is ironic to me that the vp would, on that day, choose to interpret a USA headband to be considered headgear.
As far as your statement that my reaction was showing Lauren to be disrespectful by my comments to the vp that I was going to ask that every girl be checked for hair adornments and asked to remove them, and that they were going to have a fight on their hands, I do not consider to be disrespectful comments. Those were my feelings at that time, and I still feel that way. If Lauren had been made to remove the headband, then everyone should have to remove whatever they have in their hair, and I would have gone the distance to see that it was enforced, even if it meant going all the way to the school board. Standing up for equal treatment in my opinion is not being disrespectful. I've had three children in the public school system, two who have already graduated, and I have not always agreed on school policy, but have never felt strongly enough to challenge it. This time I did. I have not always agreed on teacher's policies, and felt many times they were unfair or unreasonable, but let it go as it didn't seem worth the aggravation of pursuing it; this time I chose not to let it go. Are you a teacher? You seem to have reacted very strongly to this issue.
The reason I asked who was wrong here, and I do believe the vp was wrong, is because headbands had NEVER been interpreted as headgear, as no one has ever been asked to remove one as far as my daughter knows, and I'm sure she would have known if any one of her many friends and acquaintances had been asked to remove one previously.
I'm sorry that you think my daughter was 100% wrong in this situation. As I said before, she has never knowingly broken a school rule, and considering all the work she put into making this outfil, and how proud she was of it, and thought she was doing something good by showing patriotism, and school spirit, considering the school requested the students to do something special, I don't blame her for not blindly obeying the vp. I'm sure she was caught off guard, never expected to be chastised, and was completely surprised by the demand. I'm proud of her for standing up for herself. She didn't say no to be disrespectful, she said no because she felt attacked, and publicly embarrassed, and wrongly accused. As I said before, maybe their wouldn't have been so many young boys and men molested by their parish priests who were also their school teachers, club leaders, etc., if they had been taught not to blindly obey all people in an authority position. Obviously this in no way compares to that, but it is the same principle.
Lastly, I have NEVER stated that my daughter was a hero for doing what she did, and that was never the intention of my original post. I asked for other's opinions of the situation, and that is all. I don't think she is a hero, as her actions don't qualify to be labeled heroism. I do think she was brave for standing up for what she thought was unfair treatment, and I stand behind her 100%.
Now if I may give you a word of advice, ckr. You may be in for a long, rough ride, when your DD enters HS if you think she will always behave in a manner to which you would like her to. She is only nine now, and hormones haven't kicked in. I hope you will cut her a little slack now and then when the going gets rough.
Gee, is there someone in Washington who would like to know this stuff? 
