My buddy doesn't ( didn't? ) understand why I won't let my kids have text messaging.

[mhsjax]

Alrighty then.. Just don't ever move to an area that doesn't have cell phone service (and yes - there are still plenty of areas like that) because it appears that many kids will have to live a solitary existence if cell phones are the deal breaker in terms of being allowed to visit with their friends..

Very, very odd to me..

It isn't odd at all, why would you let some other parent state what your kid can do with their property. I would understand if it was causing a problem, or if the behavior was damaging the other parents property, but it isn't, in fact when my kids friends get calls on their cell phones I don't even know it, How dare another mom have a say in what my kids cell phone habits should be. Also, if you live in an area with no cell phone coverage, because there is no cell phone to be told to turn off. So that doesn't have an bearing on this argument.

 

[LisaR]

Alrighty then.. Just don't ever move to an area that doesn't have cell phone service (and yes - there are still plenty of areas like that) because it appears that many kids will have to live a solitary existence if cell phones are the deal breaker in terms of being allowed to visit with their friends..

Very, very odd to me..

Hence the reason for texting. Cell service does stink in some areas but texting always goes through.

Trust me, I understand your resistance to cell phones. It is sad that we rely so heavily on them but with the way some idiot adults are nowadays, I don't see an alternative (releasing kids from activities without a parent present, allowing their kids to do inappropriate things, etc). My kids can get out of any uncomfortable situation with a quick text.

 

[C.Ann]

Hence the reason for texting. Cell service does stink in some areas but texting always goes through..

I'm not sure that's true.. There was a young girl up here last weekend (13 yrs. old) who had a cell phone with texting capabilities - as well as a number of other wild capabilities that I had never seen before - LOL - and she tried to text her mom back home where there is cell phone service.. It didn't go through, so she had to use my land line to call her.. (Obviously, there is no cell phone service here..)

The kids that live up here year round don't have cell phones because they are virtually useless.. It's land line or no contact at all - LOL..

 

[LisaR]

I'm not sure that's true.. There was a young girl up here last weekend (13 yrs. old) who had a cell phone with texting capabilities - as well as a number of other wild capabilities that I had never seen before - LOL - and she tried to text her mom back home where there is cell phone service.. It didn't go through, so she had to use my land line to call her.. (Obviously, there is no cell phone service here..)

The kids that live up here year round don't have cell phones because they are virtually useless.. It's land line or no contact at all - LOL..

Well, all I can tell you is that where we live, texting isn't a problem ever. We have never had one not go through. We would maybe need to rethink cell phones/texting if we lived in a remote area but we don't.

 

[mhsjax]

I'm not sure that's true.. There was a young girl up here last weekend (13 yrs. old) who had a cell phone with texting capabilities - as well as a number of other wild capabilities that I had never seen before - LOL - and she tried to text her mom back home where there is cell phone service.. It didn't go through, so she had to use my land line to call her.. (Obviously, there is no cell phone service here..)

The kids that live up here year round don't have cell phones because they are virtually useless.. It's land line or no contact at all - LOL..

wow, you must really live way out, my in laws live in Po Dunk SC in the middle of nowhere, and they have cell phone coverage. And just on a side note, I actually hate cell phones except for emergencies and I don't text either, And if people call me while I am in my car, I rarely answer it because I like my peace and quiet in the car. However, I do understand that kids today are different as we were different from our parents, and I love the fact that my son has his cell phone with him. Alot of times kids are out running around the neighborhood and may start at ones kids house and go to another or just be riding around and if I have to use a land line only, I may not be able to get in touch with him.

 

[SydSim]

DD-12 got texting capability for her 12th birthday - she is only allowed 240 texts/month. When she goes over, she pays for it out of her allowance. She rarely goes over.

I don't like to see kids constantly texting while they are supposed to be together at some activity - but that's just me. Since that's just me, we limit OUR child on HER texting capabilities.

We plan to increase her texts periodically as she gets older.

(P.S. - we actually have unlimited texting - but don't tell her that)

 

[MusiqChic99]

I'm not sure that's true.. There was a young girl up here last weekend (13 yrs. old) who had a cell phone with texting capabilities - as well as a number of other wild capabilities that I had never seen before - LOL - and she tried to text her mom back home where there is cell phone service.. It didn't go through, so she had to use my land line to call her.. (Obviously, there is no cell phone service here..)

The kids that live up here year round don't have cell phones because they are virtually useless.. It's land line or no contact at all - LOL..

I'm with you here. We dont have good cell service and texts dont go through either...until you are in an area of good service and even then it can be hours before it's actually through.

I hate cell phones. I dont have one. I live in a place when I don't get reception but I work and travel and shop in areas that I do get reception. Still dont have one. For some odd reason my existance has still kept going.


I have a special annoyance for watching kids talk on cell phones. It is a personal choice for parents and if they wish to give their kids phones then so be it. I still find it annoying to watch/listen to a small child on a cell phone with a friend. You'd be suprised what they are talking about to.


Oh and I want to add that I DID have a cell phone once. I hardly ever used it and it became a hassle when people would text and I was trying to have dinner with family or friends. I know others aren't so keen in letting a text go unread for someone at dinner...ive sitten at many tables where thats all people did was text on their phone! Do people not have contact in person anymore???

 

[C.Ann]

wow, you must really live way out, my in laws live in Po Dunk SC in the middle of nowhere, and they have cell phone coverage..

Yup - I do (for 7 months out of the year anyhow).. But there are many areas up here like that (not just my little town) and has been an ongoing concern for many years because it interferes with emergency personnel being able to stay in contact with each other.. I would venture to guess there are hundreds of miles up here with no cell phone service - nor will texting go through..

That's probably why I have such an issue with kids not being allowed to visit other kids over something as simple as having access to a cell phone - especially when land lines are available.. As the saying goes, "that's not a hill I would choose to die on" - but of course that is just my personal opinion..

 

[The Mystery Machine]

That's probably why I have such an issue with kids not being allowed to visit other kids over something as simple as having access to a cell phone - especially when land lines are available.. As the saying goes, "that's not a hill I would choose to die on" - but of course that is just my personal opinion..

A parent taking my child's phone when cell phone coverage is not an issue is the thing I find odd.

 

[disneydreamingdebby]

I read the comment about the basket as for their own kids, not visitors...

My seven year olds' reading skills are reinforced as she reads my text over my shoulder.

As a high school teacher, I find cell phones problematic. School policy is for all electronic devices (phones, iPods, cameras) to be off and hidden at all times. With the concern over school violence, parent in my district want kids to have access to their phones. However, parents are often the reason kids get in trouble for cell phones as they are the ones that call the kids during the day over mundane items...

I really think our schools need to teach kids responsible cell phone use instead of prohibiting it. I text the executive board in my service club (during the day) if I need to inform them of a change or if I need to see them. This is much more efficient then calling another teacher's room, interrupting the class and talking to the student. These students know "hidden rules" and can discreetly and at an appropriate time look at their phone. (They are technically allowed to have their phones back on at the end of the school day.) Instead of banning technologies, I really think we should teach appropriate use/ civility/ manners. (This would help prevent "sexting" too.)

Then, maybe less people will be yelled at by the server at Whispering Canyon.

Wow - I guess I am a bit passionate on the topic...

 

[Kathi OD]

In fairness, some of us have kids that have activities that don't get out at the same time regularly. A cell phone comes in handy or else I would spend my time sitting outside activities waiting for them to end. In addition, my kids are old enough to go to movies and the mall alone with friends. I want them to be able to contact me when there is a problem or if they are ready to be picked up.
I do find them to be very handy in today's busy society.

While cell phones, with or without texting, are quite handy, they aren't necessary. Your comments have nothing to do about fairness. What do you think families did before cell phones were widely available? Many of us managed to raise kids, who were involved in more than one activity, in different places at the same time, quite well without having the luxury of a cell phone. Somehow we even managed to pick them up from places like the mall or movies.

That's the thing that cracks me up about how people NEED for their children to have cell phones. NO, they don't NEED them. You prefer for them to have them for your peace of mind or convenience. They aren't NEEDED.

Beleive me, I have no qualms about people taking advantage of technological advances in whatever way they see fit (as long as it is legal). I have a cell phone, with 1500 anytime minutes and unlimited texting/month. I've even been known to send a couple of thousand texts a month But to claim that you use the device in the name of "fairness" is a bit of a stretch.

 

[mhsjax]

Yup - I do (for 7 months out of the year anyhow).. But there are many areas up here like that (not just my little town) and has been an ongoing concern for many years because it interferes with emergency personnel being able to stay in contact with each other.. I would venture to guess there are hundreds of miles up here with no cell phone service - nor will texting go through..

That's probably why I have such an issue with kids not being allowed to visit other kids over something as simple as having access to a cell phone - especially when land lines are available.. As the saying goes, "that's not a hill I would choose to die on" - but of course that is just my personal opinion..

I understand what you are saying, but I think the point we are trying to make is that if cell phone access isn't available that is one thing, but I would want my kid visiting another house where the parent thought it was ok to ban cell phones in their house, when it isn't their cell phone and they are not paying the bill and it isn't disturbing them in any way. Really I think this argument isn't about cell phone coverage availability but another parent over stepping her bounds.

 

[mhsjax]

While cell phones, with or without texting, are quite handy, they aren't necessary. Your comments have nothing to do about fairness. What do you think families did before cell phones were widely available? Many of us managed to raise kids, who were involved in more than one activity, in different places at the same time, quite well without having the luxury of a cell phone. Somehow we even managed to pick them up from places like the mall or movies.

That's the thing that cracks me up about how people NEED for their children to have cell phones. NO, they don't NEED them. You prefer for them to have them for your peace of mind or convenience. They aren't NEEDED.

Beleive me, I have no qualms about people taking advantage of technological advances in whatever way they see fit (as long as it is legal). I have a cell phone, with 1500 anytime minutes and unlimited texting/month. I've even been known to send a couple of thousand texts a month But to claim that you use the device in the name of "fairness" is a bit of a stretch.

wow, such hatefulness. Its ok if you don't like cell phones, they aren't my favorite either, but they do come in very handy with kids. And no you are right, we don't NEED them, but then again, we dont NEED cares we don't NEED automatic dishwashers, we don't NEED computers, but i see you have one. Yes some of you use them for work, but you wouldn't die if you didn't have them, that is what need is. Also, I think to be fair is just an expression, much like when you say I need something, we really don't need anything put water food and shelter. everything else is extra.

 

[goofy!]

While cell phones, with or without texting, are quite handy, they aren't necessary. Your comments have nothing to do about fairness. What do you think families did before cell phones were widely available? Many of us managed to raise kids, who were involved in more than one activity, in different places at the same time, quite well without having the luxury of a cell phone. Somehow we even managed to pick them up from places like the mall or movies.

That's the thing that cracks me up about how people NEED for their children to have cell phones. NO, they don't NEED them. You prefer for them to have them for your peace of mind or convenience. They aren't NEEDED.

Beleive me, I have no qualms about people taking advantage of technological advances in whatever way they see fit (as long as it is legal). I have a cell phone, with 1500 anytime minutes and unlimited texting/month. I've even been known to send a couple of thousand texts a month But to claim that you use the device in the name of "fairness" is a bit of a stretch.

But life has changed so much since then. Kids back then had the option of finding a pay phone close by no matter where they were. We could pick them up from the mall or movies because they could call home as long as they had a dime or quarter in their pocket. They could even call collect if needed.

Those options are no longer around. It is almost impossible to find a public pay phone nearby these days.

I also don't think it fair for me to expect my child to be able to use another parent's or coach's cell phone minutes if they have to call me for something. It is my responsibility to make sure my child can contact me if there is a lightning closure at practice, school lets out early, they aren't feeling well or any other normal childhood thing pops up.

Even 10 years ago, schools, malls, local pools, all had public access phones. No longer. Cell phones are as much a necessity these days if your child wants to contact you as the quarter in the pocket was 10 years ago.

 

[mjkacmom]

It is completely your decision, but let me give you an example of how texting can rack up huge amounts in a short time and still be beneficial to social skills.

This is similar to what my 12 year old boy would do or receive:

9:00am - Kid sends out a group text to 15 friends - "Let's meet at the pool at 10am" 1 text message, but counted as 15 because sent to 15 people.

15 texts - 1 minute

15 kids answer "which pool" (two pools in our development)

2 minutes spent texting and reading texts total now 30 texts.

sends out another 15 texts "North Pool"

3 minutes total texting and reading - already up to 45 texts

receives 15 texts (everybody else also receiving) saying yes or no whether their parents will allow them to go swimming.


4 minutes total texting and reading - 60 texts

Response - "great, see you there"

So, in the space of 5 minutes total spent texting or reading texts, 75+ texts were exchanged. Some extra texts because there was some discussion on which pool is better. The texting is akin to the preteen conference call where everybody could chime in and make their preference heard.

Kids heads out to pool to meet friends where they talk, interact socially and have a great time.

It was so much easier to arrange their own social activity this way without having to call everybody individually up on the phone, wait for responses, etc. This way, everybody was notified and kept in the loop and it took less than 5 minutes of their time. And they had a great social experience in person because of it.

Just another way to look at texting.

And the kid who didn't receive the text message sits home alone. Really, this is how kids make plans now.

 

[goofy!]

And the kid who didn't receive the text message sits home alone. Really, this is how kids make plans now.

They actually spend less time using texting to arrange a social outing than if they had to keep calling everybody individually to invite them, to get their preference on movie, pool, which park, etc, then arrange times, etc.

As I mentioned, texting is today's conference call. The kids can ask questions and arrange things in a matter of minutes. Then they go out and have a great time together. They would have wasted way more time if they had to arrange such groups by phone.

And unfortunately, yes, sometimes kids without texting get left out of the plans. I don't think the kids do it purposely, just that texting is the norm now and that is how they arrange things. Other times they will still call, but sometimes they just forget.

Maybe it is because I have a boy, but I have found that texting actually opened up more outside activities with friends because it takes a fraction of time now to arrange a group to go shoot hoops, meet in the park for an impromptu football game or just go hang at somebody's house.

We parents can text each other too to make sure other parents are on board with their plans. It is our easy conference call too. The boys have their independence in arranging their activities, but we parents can still keep in touch with each other and make sure everybody is on board with what they planned.

 

[LisaR]

While cell phones, with or without texting, are quite handy, they aren't necessary. Your comments have nothing to do about fairness. What do you think families did before cell phones were widely available? Many of us managed to raise kids, who were involved in more than one activity, in different places at the same time, quite well without having the luxury of a cell phone. Somehow we even managed to pick them up from places like the mall or movies.

That's the thing that cracks me up about how people NEED for their children to have cell phones. NO, they don't NEED them. You prefer for them to have them for your peace of mind or convenience. They aren't NEEDED.

Beleive me, I have no qualms about people taking advantage of technological advances in whatever way they see fit (as long as it is legal). I have a cell phone, with 1500 anytime minutes and unlimited texting/month. I've even been known to send a couple of thousand texts a month But to claim that you use the device in the name of "fairness" is a bit of a stretch.

Good Lord! I didn't CLAIM my kids had cell phones in the "name of fairness." I am sorry you didn't like my choice of words but take a chill. I didn't stress that my kids NEEDED cell phones as YOU seem to indicate. Nice try in twisting that around.

Glad you raised your kids without cell phones and didn't have any problems. My parents raised four of us without that luxury as well. They also managed to raise us without the use of a laptop, remote control for the TV, cable tv, only one car, only one bathroom and the list goes on and on. Guess what? I am raising my kids with ALL of those "luxuries" and none are really necessities. We don't need any of them but life would not be as easy and comfortable without those things.

It is so funny that I am even having this argument because I hate cell phones. I truly do. We have very limited features on our phones and my kids manage to survive. I can't stand watching kids text at a restaurant or walking through a store. I hate seeing a group of teens sitting at the mall texting people and not talking to their friends. I despise the spelling and grammar that seems to be the result of the texting and instant messaging craze. However, I LOVE that my kids have cell phones. The phones have saved us all a lot of headaches on more than one occasion. So, IN ALL FAIRNESS, they really are a life saver for MY family.

 

[java]

In all honesty- my son's plans are mostly made on facebook this summer vs. texting.

 

[NMAmy]

While cell phones, with or without texting, are quite handy, they aren't necessary. Your comments have nothing to do about fairness. What do you think families did before cell phones were widely available? Many of us managed to raise kids, who were involved in more than one activity, in different places at the same time, quite well without having the luxury of a cell phone. Somehow we even managed to pick them up from places like the mall or movies.

That's the thing that cracks me up about how people NEED for their children to have cell phones. NO, they don't NEED them. You prefer for them to have them for your peace of mind or convenience. They aren't NEEDED.

Beleive me, I have no qualms about people taking advantage of technological advances in whatever way they see fit (as long as it is legal). I have a cell phone, with 1500 anytime minutes and unlimited texting/month. I've even been known to send a couple of thousand texts a month But to claim that you use the device in the name of "fairness" is a bit of a stretch.

Just curious, do you live in an area that still has a pay phone on every corner? I resisted cell phones for a long time. Until the evening dd (who was 13 at the time) went to a football game with a friend and the friend's mother and got separated from them in the crowd at the end of the game. She couldn't remember where they'd parked. And there was not a pay phone anywhere at the local high school for her to call me. Luckily, another mother saw her crying and let her borrow her cell phone. I went out the next day and got one for each of us.

So, for my dd's safety, I did feel a cell phone was needed and necessary. When I was a teen, there were pay phones everywhere and my mom made sure I always had change for the phone if I needed it. Now where I live there are no pay phones anywhere. And I wasn't going to let my kid get stuck somewhere with no way to contact me or to call 911 if she needed to.

 

[DVCLiz]

Yup - I do (for 7 months out of the year anyhow).. But there are many areas up here like that (not just my little town) and has been an ongoing concern for many years because it interferes with emergency personnel being able to stay in contact with each other.. I would venture to guess there are hundreds of miles up here with no cell phone service - nor will texting go through..

That's probably why I have such an issue with kids not being allowed to visit other kids over something as simple as having access to a cell phone - especially when land lines are available.. As the saying goes, "that's not a hill I would choose to die on" - but of course that is just my personal opinion..

You're totally missing the point, C. Ann. The issue is not that you wouldn't let a kid go visit a friend unless he had a cell phone with him. The issue is that a kid would have to give up his cell phone in order to visit in the house - that's what Ethansmom said. Go back and read her post.

I don't have any problem with my daughter visiting someone without a cell phone - she often forgets it or it isn't charged, so I know to call her on her friend's cell phone or the family's landline. BUT, if she had a charged phone with her and was made to turn it off before she entered the house - which is what Ethansmom was saying she was planning to do - then I WOULD have a problem with that.