My buddy doesn't ( didn't? ) understand why I won't let my kids have text messaging.

[DVCLiz]

No one NEEDS a cell phone. There isn't one single application that uses a cell phone that couldn't be done in some other way that is also technologically possible.

But, Lord, I would hate to go back to the way we used to do things!!!!! I think there are two kinds of people as far as technology is concerned - the ones who think the way we do it now is just fine and any use of something "fancier" is wrong or should be restricted to a certain segment of the population, and the other group, who see the newest technology for what it is and adapt it to suit their needs and budget, without placing judgements on its use.

After all, my mother never understood what an ATM machine was good for - why on earth wouldn't you drive to the bank on Friday afternoon if you knew you needed cash for the weekend? It's hard to fight logic like that...

 

[Kathi OD]

wow, such hatefulness. Its ok if you don't like cell phones, they aren't my favorite either, but they do come in very handy with kids. And no you are right, we don't NEED them, but then again, we dont NEED cares we don't NEED automatic dishwashers, we don't NEED computers, but i see you have one. Yes some of you use them for work, but you wouldn't die if you didn't have them, that is what need is. Also, I think to be fair is just an expression, much like when you say I need something, we really don't need anything put water food and shelter. everything else is extra.

Nothing hateful about my post. If you read it, you would see that I have a cell phone, and that I not only use the phone feature, but I also use it to text, and a lot compared to many people my age!

I read the "to be fair" statement as making an excuse for allowing your child to have one. Sorry if I took it the wrong way. I was just pointing out that it is not a NEED, just as the other things you mentioned aren't NEEDS, but things that are nice to have and help us get through the day. I even stated that in my post.

But life has changed so much since then. Kids back then had the option of finding a pay phone close by no matter where they were. We could pick them up from the mall or movies because they could call home as long as they had a dime or quarter in their pocket. They could even call collect if needed.

Those options are no longer around. It is almost impossible to find a public pay phone nearby these days.

I also don't think it fair for me to expect my child to be able to use another parent's or coach's cell phone minutes if they have to call me for something. It is my responsibility to make sure my child can contact me if there is a lightning closure at practice, school lets out early, they aren't feeling well or any other normal childhood thing pops up.

Even 10 years ago, schools, malls, local pools, all had public access phones. No longer. Cell phones are as much a necessity these days if your child wants to contact you as the quarter in the pocket was 10 years ago.

I'll agree that is hard to find a public pay phone today, in some areas nearly impossible. You might think me to be a horrible parent, but to be honest, my kids never went anywhere with a quarter in their pocket, and they are all too old to have had cell phones at 12 or 13. As far as I know, none of their friends made sure they had a quarter either. If practice ended early, the coach waited with them. We made arrangements prior to them going anywhere. What time & where should I pick you up?

I'll also respectfully disagree about some of the scenarios you listed as examples of when a child would need a cell phone to contact you, although I do understand that some of that is because of how I believe people who are supervising children (coaches, schools, etc) should notify parents in the event of a change in schedule.

Again, I'm not trying to say that cell phones are necessarily evil, they aren't! They've allowed us to communicate with whomever we like, whenever we like (well for the most part). What's not to like about that? However, I will say that a child (say under 13) doesn't need a full-featured cell phone for those times when they have to get in touch with a parent. I would have no problems with them having one of the ones that is pre-programmed with a few numbers in case of an emergency.

 

[Kathi OD]

Good Lord! I didn't CLAIM my kids had cell phones in the "name of fairness." I am sorry you didn't like my choice of words but take a chill. I didn't stress that my kids NEEDED cell phones as YOU seem to indicate. Nice try in twisting that around.

Lisa, I didn't mean to offend you. However, that's how I read your post, that they were leveling out the playing field because your life was so much more busy than those of parents past. As far as the NEED, I meant people in general, not you in particular. Again, I'm sorry that you are offended.

Glad you raised your kids without cell phones and didn't have any problems. My parents raised four of us without that luxury as well. They also managed to raise us without the use of a laptop, remote control for the TV, cable tv, only one car, only one bathroom and the list goes on and on. Guess what? I am raising my kids with ALL of those "luxuries" and none are really necessities. We don't need any of them but life would not be as easy and comfortable without those things.

I'll agree with your point about needing those other luxuries you listed. The last paragraph of my original post, implied exactly that.

It is so funny that I am even having this argument because I hate cell phones. I truly do. We have very limited features on our phones and my kids manage to survive. I can't stand watching kids text at a restaurant or walking through a store. I hate seeing a group of teens sitting at the mall texting people and not talking to their friends. I despise the spelling and grammar that seems to be the result of the texting and instant messaging craze. However, I LOVE that my kids have cell phones. The phones have saved us all a lot of headaches on more than one occasion. So, IN ALL FAIRNESS, they really are a life saver for MY family.

What makes this discussion even funnier, is that I am one of the first people to embrace new technology, whatever it is. I was the first person I knew to have a "cellular phone," back in the days when it was a huge thing that came in a bag and sat on the floor or seat of the car. I paid big money for that dinosaur, but had to have it, even though it didn't work 1/2 the time and became obsolete in no time.

I don't have a problem with people who want their children to have cell phones. I even understand why someone would want their child to have a cell phone. My comments were really directed at my misinterpretation of your fairness statement and at those who believe they are a necessity, rather than a luxury.

 

[pooh_bear.614]

I have to disagree with those who say you don't NEED a cell phone. I most certainly NEED mine. I have no landline so without my cell I would have no way to speak with friends and family or god forbid in an emergency. When I don't have my phone with me I feel extremely disconnected then again I text all the time. Texting is just so much easier than having to have a full conversation with someone. As for children with cell phones I think they should start off like others have posted with limits on texting and minutes and work up to being rewarded with more for showing responsibility. Why would you want to disadvantage your children by not allowing them to have at least a phone for emergencies.

 

[AshleyW]

This is straying a little OT - but on the topic of texting, the county north of us just started accepting text messages at their 911 dispatch center. I work with deaf/hard of hearing folks, so I think it's an AMAZING new development. Just had to share - back on topic now!

 

[nerdylightbulb]

Nope. I'm not going to let them have it because I feel that texting is causing a deterioration of real social skills, as well as leading kids to eventually suffer from developing quality business / life skills...

Kids don't TALK as much anymore. They text. They no longer use proper grammar or spell correctly, at least as well as they used to..... One of my friends is a HS principal in Kansas City and we have discussed this a few times - that kids turn in homework written the way that they text, and see nothing wrong with it.

I text with proper grammar.

 

[phorsenuf]

We have 5 phones on our plan. I think maybe we use 500 minutes a month. The kids (3) all text. I just went and looked and our billing cycle actually ends today so I have a full month figure;

Son (22) 120 texts (he's away working and gets no reception)
Son (19) 2,961
Son (17) 2,708
Husband 156
Me 195

So that's 6,140 texts in one month. (whoah )

I can't imagine how many minutes I would go through if they didn't text.

As far as "need" a phone. I like having the peace of mind knowing if I need to contact the kids or they need me we can always be reached.
Last time I was at my cardiologist he told me never leave the house without 2 things. My nitro and my phone.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I text with proper grammar.

Me too. I have a full qwerty.

 

[MrsPete]

I hope you mean a basket for your kids and not kids visiting. Most parents I know contact their kids on the cell phone when they ned them to come home or to give them some other message. I would be pretty ticked off if some other parent told my kid to turn off their cell phone and I couldn't get in touch with them.

We've been forced to make a rule at scouts about "phones go into the basket when you come into the room". The phones'd sneak out every time we transitioned from one activity to another, and sometimes girls'd feel their phone vibrate and they'd sneak into the bathroom to read a text.

In the name of completing what we set out to do, we made the new rule -- and the parents are all in agreement! Of course, they -- the parents -- aren't going to call their kids during the scout meeting. None of our kids can drive yet, so they can't tell them to come home. If an emergency should arise during the meeting, the parents would just come to pick their daughter up anyway.

On a recent trip we also found that we had to limit phone time. The girls were ignoring the sites we'd come to see . . . activities for which they'd fund raised . . . so that they could chat with friends back home. So we decided that phoning and texting would be allowed during meals and for an hour in the evening back at the hotel -- the rest of the time was troop time.

 

[MrsPete]

I text with proper grammar.

So do I -- punctuation included. It's just not right otherwise!

I don't text a great deal, and I've actually saved the majority of the things I text into "quick messages" so that I can just text standard phrases (or add just a word here and there) to say what I want to say.

I have to disagree with those who say you don't NEED a cell phone. I most certainly NEED mine. I have no landline

I'm in the same situation. My cell is my ONLY phone, and though it's true that I would not die without phone communication, it would be inconvenient to an unacceptable point.

 

[nerdylightbulb]

Me too. I have a full qwerty.

I just have the number pad

So do I -- punctuation included. It's just not right otherwise!

Me too. it just looks icky otherwise. If I'm texting someone and they use chatspeak all the time, I just stop responding.

 

[DVCLiz]

We've been forced to make a rule at scouts about "phones go into the basket when you come into the room". The phones'd sneak out every time we transitioned from one activity to another, and sometimes girls'd feel their phone vibrate and they'd sneak into the bathroom to read a text.

In the name of completing what we set out to do, we made the new rule -- and the parents are all in agreement! Of course, they -- the parents -- aren't going to call their kids during the scout meeting. None of our kids can drive yet, so they can't tell them to come home. If an emergency should arise during the meeting, the parents would just come to pick their daughter up anyway.

On a recent trip we also found that we had to limit phone time. The girls were ignoring the sites we'd come to see . . . activities for which they'd fund raised . . . so that they could chat with friends back home. So we decided that phoning and texting would be allowed during meals and for an hour in the evening back at the hotel -- the rest of the time was troop time.

I think a scheduled, quasi - "school" type event, is completely different from kids going over to a friend's house to hang out. I would expect any group activity to put some restrictions on phones. I'd also expect - if the parents know and approve of the rule - that there would be a way for a parent to call or text one of the adult leaders if something truly important came up. After all, you wouldnt hold another kind of event without any way for parents to be in touch with an adult teacher or leader.

So do I -- punctuation included. It's just not right otherwise!

I don't text a great deal, and I've actually saved the majority of the things I text into "quick messages" so that I can just text standard phrases (or add just a word here and there) to say what I want to say.I'm in the same situation. My cell is my ONLY phone, and though it's true that I would not die without phone communication, it would be inconvenient to an unacceptable point.

My point wasn't about how much you do or don't need to make calls - it was that people who have a cell phone and not a landline have chosen that option - probably for cost or convenience. But it still isn't a NEED. You could easily go back to having just a landline - you are CHOOSING to have only a cell.

 

[Pixiedust34]

Kids don't TALK as much anymore. They text. They no longer use proper grammar or spell correctly, at least as well as they used to..... One of my friends is a HS principal in Kansas City and we have discussed this a few times - that kids turn in homework written the way that they text, and see nothing wrong with it.

My dh is a 6th grade teacher. He agrees with this 100%. Kids are texting more than talking and do not have the face-to-face social skills that kids 5-10 years ago (before texting was common) had. That's scary.

Kids also write with text spelling in their homework assignments. As stated, they see nothing wrong with text spelling because that's the way they communicate every waking hour. They can't "switch off" their texting mode to jump into an IRL assignment and use proper English/spelling.

Texting has become an addiction to many of middle school kids. I think that the problems we've see so far with texting while driving will sadly increase in the future when the current middle schoolers with phones always in hand learn how to drive.

 

[mjkacmom]

They actually spend less time using texting to arrange a social outing than if they had to keep calling everybody individually to invite them, to get their preference on movie, pool, which park, etc, then arrange times, etc.

As I mentioned, texting is today's conference call. The kids can ask questions and arrange things in a matter of minutes. Then they go out and have a great time together. They would have wasted way more time if they had to arrange such groups by phone.

And unfortunately, yes, sometimes kids without texting get left out of the plans. I don't think the kids do it purposely, just that texting is the norm now and that is how they arrange things. Other times they will still call, but sometimes they just forget.

Maybe it is because I have a boy, but I have found that texting actually opened up more outside activities with friends because it takes a fraction of time now to arrange a group to go shoot hoops, meet in the park for an impromptu football game or just go hang at somebody's house.

We parents can text each other too to make sure other parents are on board with their plans. It is our easy conference call too. The boys have their independence in arranging their activities, but we parents can still keep in touch with each other and make sure everybody is on board with what they planned.

I was thinking of this post yesterday. In the afternoon, dd13 received a text, inviting her (and others) swimming. Without texting, she would've been left out. Later, she received a text, inviting her (and others) to a friend's home that evening. Again, if she didn't receive the text, she would've missed out. Not having the ability to send or receive text messages is social suicide among her peers. I really hope the OP keeps this in mind later on.

 

[golfgal]

OK, I haven't read all the posts but never say never. You might not like texting now but you may later. It is much easier then taking a phone call most of the time and a quick, I will pick you up at 8 or whatever takes a lot less time then the phone call. Plus, the kids don't have the phone up to their ear to text so that helps with any potential hearing issues that may or may not be associated with the cell phones.

My sister was in the "I will NEVER" camp, now guess who I get the most text messages from outside of my kids.

I would MUCH rather get a text then have someone leave me a voice mail where I have to dial into the VM, put in my password, hit a couple buttons to retrieve, listen to the message, write down the details and delete VS read and done.

To put it in terms from our era-banning text messaging is the same as never letting your girls talk on the phone with their friends. You being male may or may not have done that but for most girls, talking on the phone with friends was very important to their social life.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

My DS15 and DD13 still do not have cell phones. They still have very active social lives. They are getting cell phones next month when our contract runs out. My DH is overly protective of our children and he has taken baby steps with the use of technology. My DD told her teacher that her father was a technology dinosaur.

We we hear about things that have happened with their peers because of My Space, texting and especially pictures taken with cell phones we aren't in any real hurry.

 

[monkey68]

OK, I haven't read all the posts but never say never. You might not like texting now but you may later. It is much easier then taking a phone call most of the time and a quick, I will pick you up at 8 or whatever takes a lot less time then the phone call. Plus, the kids don't have the phone up to their ear to text so that helps with any potential hearing issues that may or may not be associated with the cell phones.
.

You may not have hearing issues, but you start getting texting thumb. Kids that text a lot start getting almost arthritic type symptoms. Go to google and search for texting thumb, you'll find page after page of results.

As for me, I'm 24, and I do know people that send text after text. I personally think it's crazy. I have a 200 texts a month plan, and I've never gone above it. Lately, I've just been sending a quick text to my sister during the day when I'm in the hospital for all sorts of crazy hours so she can call my mom and tell her I'm still alive (my mom has no clue how to use texts). When I'm in the hospital, I'm running around, we don't even get a real lunch since we have to go to conferences, so I can usually slip off a quick text just to let people know I'm still ok, but a full on conversation is impossible.

 

[LisaR]

We've been forced to make a rule at scouts about "phones go into the basket when you come into the room". The phones'd sneak out every time we transitioned from one activity to another, and sometimes girls'd feel their phone vibrate and they'd sneak into the bathroom to read a text.

We have a rule in our family. If you are at an activity, your phone is off. I can check online to see what time my kids are texting. If they text while they are at an activity, the phone will be taken away. My DD has had a cell for 4 years and it has never once been an issue.

Lisa, I didn't mean to offend you. However, that's how I read your post, that they were leveling out the playing field because your life was so much more busy than those of parents past. As far as the NEED, I meant people in general, not you in particular. Again, I'm sorry that you are offended.

No offense taken. Sorry if I didn't make my post clear enough. For my family, a cell is not a need. It is a major convenience. It isn't any different to us than having a home with multiple bathrooms or cable TV. We would be able to live without both, just as I did growing up, but we like and enjoy having a few extras and in some cases it is pretty darn convenient.

 

[Lintasare]

My point wasn't about how much you do or don't need to make calls - it was that people who have a cell phone and not a landline have chosen that option - probably for cost or convenience. But it still isn't a NEED. You could easily go back to having just a landline - you are CHOOSING to have only a cell.

In some cases a cellphone is cheaper than a landline. When we moved into our apartment we priced a landline...local calling only was like $45 a month and long distance added $20 to that plus the per minute charge for long distance calling. I have a family plan and my line is only $20 a month and that includes unlimited long distance for free. Plus I know very few people who have a landline anymore. My parents are even thinking of getting rid of theirs because everyone they know - work, family, friends - call them on their cellphones.

 

[EthansMom]

I hope you mean a basket for your kids and not kids visiting. Most parents I know contact their kids on the cell phone when they ned them to come home or to give them some other message. I would be pretty ticked off if some other parent told my kid to turn off their cell phone and I couldn't get in touch with them.

Sorry, yes, I meant a basket for my kids' cell phones so they aren't talking on the cell phone when they should be doing their homework, eating dinner, etc... Visitors should keep their cell phones, but I wouldn't be happy with anyone texting during meals at my house.