My 11 year old son is very moody

[Robinrs]

The only thing changeable on my 14yo son is his shoe size and his appetite... both HUGE!!

I thought it was a "girl" thing to be moody since I, too, am from a family of all females. My son is always in ONE mood, joyful , but he tells me about the moods his friends in school go through. One of his best friends from elementary school went through this the past couple of years and now they're back to being the best of friends. Just today he told me that sometimes he just sits and doesn't talk at all, like being at "silent lunch". I guess it's more normal than not.

I'm blessed the only "moody" thing in my house is my cranky female cat...

 

[The Mystery Machine]

If you can pinpoint the time frame, you have to sit down and think what changes occurred at that point in time.
Home, school, or friends?

Start with friends...did a friend do something, lose a friend, etc...? Go down the line and think back.

Mood swings can also be a sign of depression. How is his happiness factor? Does he continue to enjoy favorite things he used to do?

How about "puberty stuff"? Have you discussed the birds and the bees and why his body is ummmm different???

More than likely it is a touch of all of that. It is normal for kids to change when they are developing. You just have to look hard and make sure that it isn't totally out of character, but appropriate.

Oh and lots of HUGS HUGS HUGS.....I call it "Hug Therapy". They HATE IT but the secret is they love it.
When the mouth starts, run up and HUG.
I say..."Sounds like someone needs a HUG" and then I chase them down and hug them.

 

[deelam]

His response, "WHAT!?!?!?!?!"".
DD9 isn't far behind either I fear.

I get that same response all the time!

He isn't bad all the time, but he seems to get annoid very easily.

One thing I can't stand are his negative comments. He started name calling to his little brother. Calls him an idiot, he is only 4. I always make him appologize and even started giving him time out again over the name calling. We were at a family BBQ and while he was playing with cousins he got mad over something and called one kid a curse word (just as I was walking in the room) He was fuming mad, he kept saying that a little kid was getting picked on. But all the kids were pointing their finger at him for saying the bad word. I had to sit with him and make him cool down. when I ask him if something is wrong, he says "No he is fine". I asked him if he would like to talk to a Therapist, he says "NO, leave me alone". He did go back and play with the kids and everything was fine.

Sherri, yes my son is in 5th grade. I really hope he out grows this.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

You're from a family of girls and don't know about moods? Yikes, I started getting moody when I was around that age (11ish) and it hasn't stopped yet! Same with my sisters...and my mother. I feel bad for my poor dad. (my brother was never moody though, so I didn't think it really affected boys...learn something new every day!)

 

[princessesrule4]

I'm so glad I found this thread!! I'm going to have DH read it,too. We have been going through this with DS 12 for the past year. I really worry sometimes but I feel better knowing that this is a "normal" behavior for this age group! The sassy mouth is the hardest thing - he used to be so sweet. The funny thing is- he is friendly and polite at school or so teachers and parents are always telling me! I guess he is just venting with us! We're trying to be patient with him, listen and hanging in there! You all hang in there,too and thank you for the suggestions!

 

[shortbun]

I forgot to add that I've asked my son to pretend he's kidding when he tells me how dumb I am by rolling his eyes or saying "Ma om" in that irritating way. Our deal is, he smiles and winks as he walks away wether he feels it or not. That way, I feel like he's got SOME perspective and he gets to dis me. He actually remembers to do it often and it lightens up the mood quite well. I've also asked him to catch me doing things right once in a while and mention it. He's done that too and I like it. Parenting is an adventure, that's for sure. I never expected to be coaching my child about how to disrespect me and get away with it!!!

 

[cheerful chickadee]

yup my son will be 11 next month and he is moody also. He has his moments where I know my baby is in there and he shines through but mostly it's "I'm too grown up for this, stop hugging me, I know, I know, you love me, yeah, yeah yeah, this game sucks, this movie sucks, can we go now?" I think it's because it's such an in between age where they aren't little kids anymore, they want to feel more grown up but they're not mature enough for the real grown up stuff and they hate to admit they still NEED their moms hugs once in a while.

Yesterday ds got home from school, threw his bookbag down and asked to go out and play basketball. I said "come and give me a hug first, I haven't seen you all day!". He let me hug him (he's gotten into the not hugging back letting his arms hang limp thing lol) and as he was running out the door he said very quickly "I missed you too mom". I could have cried! I think my pregnancy hormones have something to do with that though lol.

 

[MamaLema]

My son was the most innocent and sweetest little boy you could have imagined. He was so shy that people would say hi to him and he would hide behind me, holding my leg for dear life.

As soon as he hit 10, it was like another person invaded his body. He is moody, talks back, and cries at things that are so ridiculous, me and DH have to leave the room so we won't laugh in his face.

Glad to see I'm not alone

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

Add me to the list of moms whose previously sweet little boys have grown into surly preteens and teens.

My 13 year old was the most easy going, sweet kid around. Then he hit age 12. Oh my gosh, I didn't know I was the most moronic individual alive. If that kid answers one more question with, "whatever, genius," I might kill him.

 

[disneymac]

We're going through this too. The tears, the outbursts, the out of the blue intense anger - Yikes!! Minutes later, he's laughing or being sweet again and then, Whatttttt!!!???!!

Whew, it's gonna be a rough couple of years!

Good luck to us all!!!

 

[Pin Wizard]

When we got home he was fine and wants to go back to the carnival tonight. I can't figure it out. It seemed that he didn't have a good time at all.

Yup, darling son will pull things in public that he doesn't do at home. I think I must look at him with a puzzled face because it doesn't make sense to me. How many times have I said...if you can't behave in public, you're not going. How long can you keep that up??

 

[DISUNC]

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! I dunno! I dont remember being like that! Then again I HATED when MOM asked me questions at that age!!

I have a 13 yr old who IMO is not moody at all!
But if you ask the females in the family they say he is moody, flipant, etc!

What do the men around him say???????

 

[mabenoab]

My now 17 yo was terribly moody when he was 11/12...it was like a tightrope with him for a while, but once 14 hit, it was wonderful again. A friend of mine had warned me about the tweens and early teens, but said he'll be back...and don't you know it? He snapped out of it, and is now (I'm happy to say) wonderfully easy going, and cheerful, and very very silly.

Take heart, its probably a passing phase. But watch out for isolationism, and withdrawal from friends and activities he used to enjoy. If he seems to be in a funk for an extended period of time, talk to your pediatrician.

 

[mabenoab]

Add me to the list of moms whose previously sweet little boys have grown into surly preteens and teens.

My 13 year old was the most easy going, sweet kid around. Then he hit age 12. Oh my gosh, I didn't know I was the most moronic individual alive. If that kid answers one more question with, "whatever, genius," I might kill him.

I'm sorry, but

 

[deelam]

I have to update on last night. I brought my son back to the carnival. He was very moody when we were walking around together. We went into the food area to sit and eat. He met up with 2 girls and another boy from school. He stayed with them for the rest of the night. At one point I bumped into them after I won a box of twizzlers from a game. I asked the kids if they wanted twizzlers, they all took some and were all smiles saying Thanks You. except my son. He gave me a dirty look and mumbled, okay leave now. I did see them walking around the rest of the night. My son just pretended he didn't see me, and he would give me a quick mad look. He really went out of his way to avoid me and his little brother. When did it get so embarassing to be out with Mom and your little brother?

 

[powellrj]

when he had friends that didn't have to be with their moms is when it got embarrassing. Once my kids reach double digits, 10 and over. They don't have parents, just those cash machines that shoot out money and drive you places!

 

[deelam]

when he had friends that didn't have to be with their moms is when it got embarrassing. Once my kids reach double digits, 10 and over. They don't have parents, just those cash machines that shoot out money and drive you places!

I guess you are right on that one. He wanted me completely out of sight. Maybe that is why the other Moms were sitting in the beer garden all night.

The funny thing is they looked liked some kind of awkward pre-teen double date.