Mulan Is Back

[Eeyore'sthebest]

Mulan you do what we did in a similar situation. You go, you wait and speak patiently to the ex. You call the sheriff who tells you there is nothing you can do (feel free to skip this part as it was a waste of time). Then you go home all upset. On the original appointed time, you go back and get them.
BUT DOCUMENT EVERYTHING YOU DID including the time, gas, etc. And then should you ever need it, you slap it in a custody dispute. The best revenge!

Even JTB can't look highly on that garbage. Based on what you've said, it seems that even he's getting tired of the garbage from his buddy.

Good luck with everything. I'll keep you and little ones in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Mulan'sWarrior]

You just go and take the risk. Gas could be $10 a gallon and I would go. I know you will too. Don't worry about that, just be happy if it actually happens.

You know, I don't care what the price of gas costs- I would just want them back. Its just that DAMM loves to do things at my expense.

good luck. I have a couple thoughts.

first, I have no clue what I'm talking about. I'm not an attorney, I've never been through this.

However, it seems that once again, you would be letting him control you. I know it will kill you, but personally, I think, you need to let them be there for the whole time. If he wants to give them back, he needs to go through legal channels and forfeit his visitation. Otherwise, aren't you back in the situation again where he wants it during fall break ? Or Thanksgiving ? Or whenever it is inconvenient ?

Think about the long term here. I know these are your babies. I get that. However, it is in their best interest if these games stop sooner rather than later and being extended. If he wants to forfeit his visitation and calls you, I would get on the phone with the judges' office the next day and get it documented (at the least). And make sure that it isn't visitation that he can make up when he wants.

take the long view. don't let him control you. you can do it.

This is my biggest concern- He would be in control! But, reguardless of how it plays out- we are talking summer visitation and the court papers are very CLEAR that anytime he returns the children early he FORFITS the remainder of his time UNLESS I AGREE to a makeup time.

Mulan you do what we did in a similar situation. You go, you wait and speak patiently to the ex. You call the sheriff who tells you there is nothing you can do (feel free to skip this part as it was a waste of time). Then you go home all upset. On the original appointed time, you go back and get them.
BUT DOCUMENT EVERYTHING YOU DID including the time, gas, etc. And then should you ever need it, you slap it in a custody dispute. The best revenge!

Even JTB can't look highly on that garbage. Based on what you've said, it seems that even he's getting tired of the garbage from his buddy.

Good luck with everything. I'll keep you and little ones in my thoughts and prayers.

I thought of this as 'taking the high road' except I show NO EMOTION towards his 'goony friends' and document EVERYTHING!

My atty from co got back with me and she suggested that I attempt to get DAMM to send an email confirmation or fax or even place a call to the PD where the exchange will take place- that way I am sort of protected if he fails to return them.
We are getting ready- making sure DD and DS know what to do...if they miss me, if they need to call me, if DAMM won't let them talk to me, if they need to use their cell, if one of them gets hurt, if they.....making sure hey have their pictures, their journal, their special PJs with mom's hidden heart sewed in, their special bears I bought them....
We are going out to breakfast, then they want to go by Karate school to say goodbye to Sensai and they drew him pictures last night. Then if we have time, we may go see a movie before we go to the 1/2 way point.
Its gonna be one tough day!
Mulan

 

[Mulan'sWarrior]

Well DAMM has DD and DS but surprisingly I did get to talk to them tonight without any trouble. DD had very little to say, DS talked and talked
Well, I guess that's all for now- now the countdown begins!
Mulan

 

[HappyDznyCamper]

Just 27 days to go

 

[ameraumi]

I have been reading your saga since the old thread but never posted. I wanted to hop in and give you and tell you to hand in there!

 

[Mulan'sWarrior]

Night #1 I got to talk to the kids
Night #2 I called their cell 2x and DAMM's house 2x- No answer
This morning, I got a call from DD, she called from her cell, she was speaking very quietly and said DAMM was outside. All was ok and she was calling just to say hi and she misses me...I don't think DAMM knew she was calling me. I think she called in secrecy because just before she ended the call, she said "DS can't talk to you right now but he's alright, and I have to go now- love you" I said quickly to her, "I love you too and I'll call tonight" she said "ok, bye".
She didn't seem sad, and she sounded alright.

Mulan

 

[HappyDznyCamper]

I'm glad she called!
26 days left.

 

[cherjp]

Morning Guys, i am so glad that your DD called, at least you know they are ok, and hasnt she matured a bit by doing this?,
Mulan why dont you put a ticker on , nothing that gives too much personal info but something that we all know what its for, I hope your weekend has gone fast for you and that you are keeping busy, thinking about you

cheryl
xx

 

[Mulan'sWarrior]

Last night I called the children 2x- no answer. Phone Visitation is 7-9pm. Anyways DAMM has the children call me at 9:24pm the kids and I talk for about 10 minutes They sound fine! But you can hear DAMM in the background yelling at them "Hurry up, Get off the phone with her! Hurry up so we can get some dinner, Hurry up and I'll take you to McD" DS says "mommy I love you but we gotta go now, daddy is taking us to McD!" I just okay, I love you, be careful and I'll talk to you later".

My tape recorder couldn't pick up the background on my cell phone If I could use my landline I could have picked it all up. But he has a block on his phone so I can't call or use a calling card- uless I *82 and then my house number gets revealed- do I want to risk that?

Mulan

 

[momx2]

Yes, it sucks that they are out that late, but unfortunately they are his kids and that's how he will raise them. At least it's summer time so they can sleep in this morning. My girls would be passed out by this time at those ages. At least your prayers were answered and he is letting them call you, not on time, but they are calling. Be very thankful! I still won't be suprised if he gives up after a few weeks and brings them back. I hope so!

 

[gottalovethem]

Hugs, prayers and good thoughts that your kiddos stay safe and return to you quickly!

 

[mla1977]

Mulan,

Don't worry so much about the McD's late at night. It isn't the best thing in the world for the, but it is the middle of summer.

Did you weigh the kids before they went there? I know you were concerned about them gaining weight.

 

[cherjp]

nice ticker

 

[Mulan'sWarrior]

I did weigh the kids before they went down there- I may not get to bring anything up unless there is a gross significant weight gain that can be proven that its detrimental to the kids health....

DS didn't qualify for preschool this year due to no disabilities and I make to much money ( he can't qualify for free or reduced lunch) so I have been checking around and found a local church that does preschool 2 days a week for 4 hours and it costs $115/mo All the others I have called on were either 4-5 days a week or charged $65/week or more plus daycare fees- I didn't want a daycare I wanted a preschool- I would have preferred him to go more than 2 days a week but my babysitter lives a bit aways and since she will be bringing DD to school on the days I work, its just too much driving for her to bring DD at 8 take DS at 9, pick up DS at 12 then DD at 3....so the 2 days DS goes I can use those days off at work and those are Karate days too i just hope the list isn't filled up!
Mulan

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

Mulan - While McD's is not the best for the kids at 9:30 at night it certainly won't kill them. They are probably running around and burning calories anyway. Be happy that he's feeding them and they aren't going hungry.
You can't control what they do at DAMM's house. Save your stress for the bigger items and let the less consequential issues go by.

 

[FSUDisneyGirl]

Hi Mulan,

Glad to hear that things are going pretty well with the kids away. You are being strong! I can't remember how old your son is, but how about VPK? Voluntary pre-kindergarten? I know that it is free in Florida, but I wasn't sure if it was just the state or nationwide...and I can't remember how old your son is. Anyways, just an idea!

 

[Mulan'sWarrior]

Hi Mulan,

Glad to hear that things are going pretty well with the kids away. You are being strong! I can't remember how old your son is, but how about VPK? Voluntary pre-kindergarten? I know that it is free in Florida, but I wasn't sure if it was just the state or nationwide...and I can't remember how old your son is. Anyways, just an idea!

DS is 4, I make too much money to qualify for the free stuff Mulan

 

[mom2grace]

Some of the preschool special ed programs take typically developing kids to be peer models. That might be a big boost to his self esteem, to be helping other kids and learning all at the same time. Find out where the preschool special ed is in your school system and call the school directly.

 

[cherjp]

Hi Mulan, just wanted to say that we are almost half way through another week, keep strong and those cherubs of yours will be back in your arms in no time!

stay strong and keep busy

love
cheryl
xx

 

[Gillian]

DD is a smart girl!

I think my kids are just a little older than yours, and I can't get them to bed much before 10 during the summer, even though they're tired. It's too light out, they don't get enough down time to be in bed at their normal time. We will start adjusting it at the end of August when it's closer to school (after Labor day here).