Mulan Is Back

[mla1977]

I hope that the kids are okay while they are gone for the next few weeks. Take this time to pick up lots of shifts at the new job and save lots of money so you can take the kids to visit the mouse.

 

[cherjp]

to you and your cherubs Mulan, bet DAMM cant cope with them for that long, try to use this time for picking up more shifts at work, it will keep you busy and help you cope with their absence.

keep the records as per your atty and try to keep your cherubs smiling over the next few days.

love
cheryl
xx

 

[littleteapot]

Did you work out the email notice thing? Will the rules be spelled out so your poor ex doens't continue being "confused"?

 

[Mulan'sWarrior]

I hope that the kids are okay while they are gone for the next few weeks. Take this time to pick up lots of shifts at the new job and save lots of money so you can take the kids to visit the mouse.

That's the plan Also, I can really concentrate harder on my workouts and Karate
DD and DS did very well today and earned a stripe on their belts- they need 5 stripes to be able to test for the next belt- they are sad that they will be missing karate for the next several weeks- DD can do good pushups- the right way DS and I have to bend our knees still
Mulan

 

[momx2]

What about the show cause for not bringing the kids back? Also, what about the letter about emailing and visitations, was either brought up with the Judge?

 

[Mulan'sWarrior]

What about the show cause for not bringing the kids back? Also, what about the letter about emailing and visitations, was either brought up with the Judge?

JTB never really addressed that part, he did hear my atty say it not once but twice. The letters were brought up as well, my atty explained that DAMM has cut the lines of communication and that I have no other choice but to mail. She did not mention the email thing I guess we both forgot- but the judge just didn't seem all that interested, DAMM did state that I got a court order that he was not to talk to me on the phone- my atty said she could tell JTB was getting frustrated so she never pressed the issue that DAMM can't control himself on the phone and act like an adult- JTB asked him, "well, who talks to her then?" DAMM replied, "well my sister does sometimes and pretended to be my atty last time" but he tells lies- I just shake my head....
Sometimes I just want to send JTB an anonymous letter that tells him basically all the wrong things DAMM has done in bullet form, even if he doesn't believe it- he would see it. Kinda like the jury hears something but then has to have it stricken from the record- yeah right, the damage is already done...

The kids and I had a great fun day yesterday We made some good memories and had a day filled with laughter, hugs and kisses. DD only acted out 1x all day I put her in timeout for 5 minutes and that seemed to work. Usually the timeout plus other behavior modifications is what it takes.
Well, today we have a few errands to run- we will get DD her school supplies today and Karate tonight...tomorrow I have to work then Friday will be here
Mulan

 

[surfgirl]

Sometimes I just want to send JTB an anonymous letter that tells him basically all the wrong things DAMM has done in bullet form, even if he doesn't believe it- he would see it.

no no no.

repeat after me: no

Trust me, it wouldn't be anonymous. You are making great strides in JTB's eyes. Don't screw it up. He wouldn't read it, it wouldn't make a difference except to poison him against you.

Go ahead, write it mentally. In a year, you will say, 'man I'm glad I never sent it'.

good luck. you are making progress. Remember, with this judge, you are best to keep your head down. Anything else will not serve you. Pretend you are playing a role with him and stick to it!

 

[tonilea]

no no no.

repeat after me: no

Trust me, it wouldn't be anonymous. You are making great strides in JTB's eyes. Don't screw it up. He wouldn't read it, it wouldn't make a difference except to poison him against you.

Go ahead, write it mentally. In a year, you will say, 'man I'm glad I never sent it'.

good luck. you are making progress. Remember, with this judge, you are best to keep your head down. Anything else will not serve you. Pretend you are playing a role with him and stick to it!

Excellent advice.

 

[momlady]

Even better: Make a list of how far YOU have come. Do a "then and now" in 2 columns. How you would have acted/reacted 2 years ago, how you are doing things now. Put it ALL on paper. And then fold it up and put it away for a year. At this time next year you will be able to add yet another column for the strides you are making with every day that passes!

 

[2poohbears]

Even better: Make a list of how far YOU have come. Do a "then and now" in 2 columns. How you would have acted/reacted 2 years ago, how you are doing things now. Put it ALL on paper. And then fold it up and put it away for a year. At this time next year you will be able to add yet another column for the strides you are making with every day that passes!

Good idea!

I'm sorry the kids have to go with him for 4 weeks, but I'm glad you are following your lawyer's advice on these issues. It's good you have karate to keep you occupied, and your work. Try to fill your time with things YOU enjoy doing. Find new interests. Have fun with friends. I know you'll think of the kiddos all the time, but the more you MAKE yourself get out there, the better off you will be. You deserve to have a happy, fulfilling life - including the children, but also apart from them. I hope you know what I mean.

I know Friday will be difficult. Know that I'm praying for you, and for them, and thinking of you all often.

 

[Mulan'sWarrior]

I do one from time to time. I can honestly say that I am proud of how I have handled myself over the last 2 years- Honestly, there is NOTHING I have done that I regret!

Mulan

 

[cherjp]

I do one from time to time. I can honestly say that I am proud of how I have handled myself over the last 2 years- Honestly, there is NOTHING I have done that I regret!

Mulan

I think you are a marvellous inspiration to women , you have battled so hard and have come so far , you should be really proud of your achievements so far. you aint a WARRIOR WOMAN for nothing you know!!!

cheryl
xx

 

[barkley]

just as a suggestion to fill some of your time while the kiddos are gone-

i just read the book "escape" by carolyn jessup and i would highly reccommend it. jessup is the woman who is usualy on any show regarding the flds (she escaped as an adult with all of her children and successfully won-a first-a custody battle against her ex with his high paid flds legal team). it will definatly strike a chord with what you've gone through, are going through-and will go through, but it's very inspirational.

a second book, that is spiritual but will make you laugh so hard at times you best have a spare pair of pants handy is "trespassers will be baptized" by elizabeth emerson hancock. hancock is the daughter of a southern baptist preacher and the book is a memoir of growing up a "p.k." in kentucky. the stories she tells of esp. her younger years are side splitting (while the other kids might put up a lemonaide stand during the neighborhood yard sale she and her little sister fill up their wading pool in the back yard and offer bapitisms for a nickle and can't figure out why they don't get any takers). very sweet but very, very funny.

 

[momx2]

just as a suggestion to fill some of your time while the kiddos are gone-

i just read the book "escape" by carolyn jessup and i would highly reccommend it. jessup is the woman who is usualy on any show regarding the flds (she escaped as an adult with all of her children and successfully won-a first-a custody battle against her ex with his high paid flds legal team). it will definatly strike a chord with what you've gone through, are going through-and will go through, but it's very inspirational.

a second book, that is spiritual but will make you laugh so hard at times you best have a spare pair of pants handy is "trespassers will be baptized" by elizabeth emerson hancock. hancock is the daughter of a southern baptist preacher and the book is a memoir of growing up a "p.k." in kentucky. the stories she tells of esp. her younger years are side splitting (while the other kids might put up a lemonaide stand during the neighborhood yard sale she and her little sister fill up their wading pool in the back yard and offer bapitisms for a nickle and can't figure out why they don't get any takers). very sweet but very, very funny.

I totally get it. I'm not a p.k., but did go to baptist church with all my cousins and we're from KY. The cousins were raised very strict (not so much me). Anyway, we would play either church, with the older cousins being the preachers or play Heaven and Hell. We would also baptise each other in my pool.

 

[graygables]

I'd also recommend the Home to Harmony series by Philip Gulley...poignant, HILARIOUS, easy to read.

 

[momlady]

I just finished an EXCELLENT book, while we are talking summer reading, called "Twenty Wishes" by Debbie Macomber. It's a fiction story about a group of widows who decide to make lists of 20 wishes, their hearts desires that they want to accomplish now that the love of their life has passed away. It is an easy and positive read -- and it has made me think about what I would choose for *my* 20 wishes! They make the distinction between wishes and a "to do" list which isn't the same concept at all. I highly recommend it!

 

[Mulan'sWarrior]

Last night, both DD and DS at bedtime literally had a BIG MELTDOWN! They were crying uncontrolably that they would be away from me for so long. What if.....I just hugged them and kissed them and spoke positively of the weeks to come. They were worried about me and I told them of all kinds of things I would be doing and people I would be with- I told them this is their vacation time too- to have fun. Surprisingly, in all this- I never shed a tear but then this morning as I was getting ready for work and getting DD and DS dressed- DS asked, "mommy while I am gone who will put clean socks on me? I answered, "your dad will" He said, "but I only want you to dress me" well, that did it and I began to cry
Thanks for all the book selections- I will definately check those out, plus with all the shifts at 2 jobs and Karate, and my friends are all chipping in to make sure I keep my sanity. And of course, my documentation of my phone visitation every night.

One thing I am worried about: If DAMM gets tired of the kids and wants to send them home early, he KNOWS that I would drive to co to pick them up- my concern is that I make the 3 hour drive, get down there and he changes his mind- then I'm out a 6 hour road trip and gas and he's laughing....I'm just trying to stay one step ahead and be prepared for anything---any suggestions? I also emailed this to my attys.
Mulan

 

[momx2]

You just go and take the risk. Gas could be $10 a gallon and I would go. I know you will too. Don't worry about that, just be happy if it actually happens.

 

[surfgirl]

good luck. I have a couple thoughts.

first, I have no clue what I'm talking about. I'm not an attorney, I've never been through this.

However, it seems that once again, you would be letting him control you. I know it will kill you, but personally, I think, you need to let them be there for the whole time. If he wants to give them back, he needs to go through legal channels and forfeit his visitation. Otherwise, aren't you back in the situation again where he wants it during fall break ? Or Thanksgiving ? Or whenever it is inconvenient ?

Think about the long term here. I know these are your babies. I get that. However, it is in their best interest if these games stop sooner rather than later and being extended. If he wants to forfeit his visitation and calls you, I would get on the phone with the judges' office the next day and get it documented (at the least). And make sure that it isn't visitation that he can make up when he wants.

take the long view. don't let him control you. you can do it.

 

[cherjp]

sending you lots and lots of hugs, you WILL find the strength to through this Mulan, Surfgirl makes a valid point and maybe worth having a plan in the back of your mind that although you would desperately wants the kids asap if DAMM doesnt want them , get it done through the legal channels so that JUDGE TIGHT BREEKS is aware at that very moment that DAMM has given them up.

love cheryl
xx