Mother of the Year here!

[dis ms.]

the fact that she was there with her friend, that probably put her into a predicament too. How do you tell your friend you want to go?

Like this: "Sorry, (insert friend's name), but somehow I failed to realize this movie was inappropriate for grade school kids, so I'm going to take the kids to see 'Narnia' instead."

If the friend is going to get mad at the OP for keeping her DD (and her DD's friend) from sitting through a movie that is...at best...inappropriate for them, too bad.

 

[BelleMcNally]

I'm not saying that she deserved to be flamed. Flaming someone does nothing constructive IMO. But that's what is normal here and she should have known that she was in for it.

Notice that I've given no opinion. She's had plenty of them.

Yeah, I totally agree, I could have guessed the way this thread would go from the start--wasn't trying to pin anything on you--it was just easiest to quote your post about the "flames".

 

[Cass]

for the OP

You definately made a big mistake with this movie choice, live and learn from your mistakes and I am sorry you are getting beat up over this.

 

[mommaU4]

Why? I guess I just don't see how someone who comes in with an "Oops, I really messed up" deserves to be flamed. I doubt her daughter's psyche will suffer any lasting damage...it sounds to me like she has a great, loving relationship with her mother, and that has to count for something...

Sure, not the best decision she ever made in her life (she, herself, seems to consider it a mistake), but I really don't think it's such a big deal. And I'm certainly not "sad" about what a terrible life her daughter must have...I mean, really...

If you read the OP's post she was only saying she messed up because of the fact that the movie had sex and nudity in it and she wanted it to hurry up and get past that and on to "the point" which was the horror part.

That is why some people were "flaming her". Because they felt the whole movie was inappropriate and the OP only felt the sex was inappropriate.

Just trying to answer why others felt so strongly.
I don't care either way. As I said before it's a personal choice we all have to make.

 

[mommaU4]

First of all, am I the only one who doubts the authenticity of this thread?

No, I wondered the same thing.

 

[tekmom]

In the OP's original post she stated that she was going to see Hostel with a friend. She then stated that DD11 wanted to go to(not to se Hostel, but because she didn't want to stay home ALONE.) She informed her daughter what she was going to see, instead of " well, you're not allowed to see Hostel, we'll see something else". She described what the movie was about(blood, gore....) She told her it was like Saw, which she claimed her DD liked. Is this how her DD saw "Saw" as well??? Who knows. She then took another kid as well. She came on here almost giddy with "horror" at the sex in the movie as she was eager for the movie to get to the point...you know ...torture, amputations, burning people's eyes out...but thank goodness her DD can sensor herself. Maybe she needs a hug...I won't be offering one up.

 

[noseybuddy]

I went back and read the OP again. I do think everyone is making a big deal over this. For her and her daughter there was one thing she wasn't comfortable with. She admitted that, said it was a mistake, told her daughter how she felt, what more does she need to do? I am not saying it was the best movie to take her DD too, but she did, they saw it and now they will move on. Everyone has their own way of parenting their kids, and for one of the posters to say she was lacking parenting skills was wrong. You parent your kids your way, she will do it her way.

 

[laura001]

Why? I guess I just don't see how someone who comes in with an "Oops, I really messed up" deserves to be flamed. I doubt her daughter's psyche will suffer any lasting damage...it sounds to me like she has a great, loving relationship with her mother, and that has to count for something...

Sure, not the best decision she ever made in her life (she, herself, seems to consider it a mistake), but I really don't think it's such a big deal. And I'm certainly not "sad" about what a terrible life her daughter must have...I mean, really...

ditto...ditto....ditto

I believe the OP has fled and I wonder why? Why would someone want to be flamed like this? It is like being in school and the teacher telling their students that they can ask questions, yet when someone does (silly, strange, good or bad question), the student gets pounced on and feels about 2 inches tall. I feel bad for the OP, perhaps some kind words and understanding are in order here, I don't believe that anyone would react well to some of these posts, which is sad because this is something we can all learn something from.

 

[SwedishMeatball]

ditto...ditto....ditto

I believe the OP has fled and I wonder why? Why would someone want to be flamed like this? It is like being in school and the teacher telling their students that they can ask questions, yet when someone does (silly, strange, good or bad question), the student gets pounced on and feels about 2 inches tall. I feel bad for the OP, perhaps some kind words and understanding are in order here, I don't believe that anyone would react well to some of these posts, which is sad because this is something we can all learn something from.

Boo hoo. If she can handle Hostel, she can surely handle the horror of being flamed. Grow thicker skin or move on.

 

[Feralpeg]

If it doesn't "bother" the DD? I'm not sure I understand this. Is there a level of nudity or sex or violence or anything that would warrant a parental decision above that of whether the child is "bothered"?

I thought parents helped to make those decisions while their children were still children? If there is no line at all, then why not pornography? I think the sex scenes are only a smidge away from that anyway.

Yes, actually I think there is. Each parent needs to understand their child and make choices. I never tried to keep my DD from watching sex scenes on TV, although I knew they were nothing extreme. If she had questions, I answered them. I think it is important to let a child experience certain things when they are with you so that you can answer their questions appropriately.

Now, before you hand me my head, let me say that there are limits. I would never let my DD watch porn. I won't watch graphic violence, so she doesn't either.

I really don't think it my place, or anyone else here's place to judge the OP. That should be between the OP and the mother of the other child.

 

[laura001]

Boo hoo. If she can handle Hostel, she can surely handle the horror of being flamed. Grow thicker skin or move on.

wow...this is a tough crowd!

 

[poohbears5]

Yes, actually I think there is. Each parent needs to understand their child and make choices. I never tried to keep my DD from watching sex scenes on TV, although I knew they were nothing extreme. If she had questions, I answered them. I think it is important to let a child experience certain things when they are with you so that you can answer their questions appropriately.

Now, before you hand me my head, let me say that there are limits. I would never let my DD watch porn. I won't watch graphic violence, so she doesn't either.

I really don't think it my place, or anyone else here's place to judge the OP. That should be between the OP and the mother of the other child.

When you post it out there you pretty much know you are going to get other peoples opions if she didn't want to hear what other people thought maybe she shouldn't of posted such personal information about her child rearing skills.

 

[N.Bailey]

Yes, actually I think there is. Each parent needs to understand their child and make choices. I never tried to keep my DD from watching sex scenes on TV, although I knew they were nothing extreme. If she had questions, I answered them. I think it is important to let a child experience certain things when they are with you so that you can answer their questions appropriately.

Now, before you hand me my head, let me say that there are limits. I would never let my DD watch porn. I won't watch graphic violence, so she doesn't either.

I really don't think it my place, or anyone else here's place to judge the OP. That should be between the OP and the mother of the other child.

Not just because of this thread, as I've read many posts of yours over the years, but I do want to say that I think your daughter is a very lucky girl to have a mom like you. Somehow I think your daughter knows that too!

 

[N.Bailey]

When you post it out there you pretty much know you are going to get other peoples opions if she didn't want to hear what other people thought maybe she shouldn't of posted such personal information about her child rearing skills.

IMO, there is a huge difference between offering your opinion and bashing someone.

 

[WatchinCaptKangaroo]

It's so refreshing to see so many perfect parents here who have never ever done anything questionable when raising their kids.

 

[poohbears5]

So, lesson learned here.....if a movie is about guys backpacking and looking for a Hostel that has easy free women.........Don't take you 11 yo.
No pretty much if you post this your leaving yourself open to it .

 

[noseybuddy]

It's so refreshing to see so many perfect parents here who have never ever done anything questionable when raising their kids.

Ain't that the truth.

 

[txgirl]

I really don't think it my place, or anyone else here's place to judge the OP. That should be between the OP and the mother of the other child.

I guess there are certain issues in regard to parenting that do require judgement. That would be when someone uses poor judgement. Parents use poor judgement all the time and we live with those mistakes daily and learn how to do better. That's different than saying, I don't censor what my children watch.

I guess for some the line is gray and for others more black and white. I've learned from this thread that there are people who think it is okay for children to watch graphic sex scenes as long as the parent believes they are using good judgement. You could go on and on with the "good judgment" argument and never really address when there are children who need better supervision or guidance than sitting through a 2+hour movie after the beginning is nothing but graphic nude sex scenes.

Is there a point where you could say, hey that's too far? I say with children you must take a stand sometimes and "pass judgement" if that's what it must be called. Is there a line and if there is where is it?

I thought graphic sexual content would be a start, but I am obviously wrong.

She is 11.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

It's so refreshing to see so many perfect parents here who have never ever done anything questionable when raising their kids.

ok you know what? I'll be honest here. I'm a fairly liberal parent. I let my older boys (12 and 15) drink wine at Thanksgiving dinner. They play violent video games including Grand Theft Auto in various forms. My oldest occassionaly buys t-shirts with words on them that make me cringe. I've pulled my kids from school for family vacations and once when my oldest son was in second grade I totally did a Poster on the life of Abraham Lincoln for him because he was too busy at his baseball tournament to do it himself. I have moments myself, never claimed to be perfect.

And I have absolutely no problem at all stating that I think taking two 11 year olds to this particular movie, sending them off to sit by themselves and not keeping tabs on them, and then not getting up out of your seat and walking over to remove them from the theatre 20 minutes into the movie when it began to occur to you that you had gotten them in over their heads --

is just plain wrong and it is also terrifically bad parenting.

I don't have any problem at all admitting my opinion and if 73 other people come on here and tell me what a horrible woman I must be for not throwing some Pixie Dust around -- I don't care. I still feel the way I do.

 

[mommaU4]

ok you know what? I'll be honest here. I'm a fairly liberal parent. I let my older boys (12 and 15) drink wine at Thanksgiving dinner. They play violent video games including Grand Theft Auto in various forms. My oldest occassionaly buys t-shirts with words on them that make me cringe. I've pulled my kids from school for family vacations and once when my oldest son was in second grade I totally did a Poster on the life of Abraham Lincoln for him because he was too busy at his baseball tournament to do it himself. I have moments myself, never claimed to be perfect.

And I have absolutely no problem at all stating that I think taking two 11 year olds to this particular movie, sending them off to sit by themselves and not keeping tabs on them, and then not getting up out of your seat and walking over to remove them from the theatre 20 minutes into the movie when it began to occur to you that you had gotten them in over their heads --

is just plain wrong and it is also terrifically bad parenting.

I don't have any problem at all admitting my opinion and if 73 other people come on here and tell me what a horrible woman I must be for not throwing some Pixie Dust around -- I don't care. I still feel the way I do.

And you are certainly entitled to feel that way. And if anyone else decides to "flame" YOU for any of the above things you mentioned, I trust you won't get the least bit upset since they have a right to feel the way they do as well. See...all's well that ends well.