Mom's of girls, a question

[mudnuri]

At what age, did you actually sit down your DD and have a talk about puberty and what her body would do eventually etc.?

I dont want to scare her or freak her out waiting for it to happen, but I dont want her to be overcome when it does if I dont tell her before....

??????????

She does know "some"....but not too much..I guess I've just put it off LOL

Brandy

 

[Tina]

I don't have any kids yet, but my good friend does. She had the TALK with her daughter when she turned 10. I'm sure the maturity of your child has a lot to do with when you decide to do it as well. My mom never bothered to have this talk with me (she wasn't exactly Mother of the Year) and I had no idea what was going on when things started happening. I thought I was sick on my first period, but never told anyone. It wasn't until the 2nd one came that I talked to my mom about it.

 

[Auggietina]

I am the mother of an early bloomer. My daughter is almost 9 and has started to develop (I was a size C by the time I was in 6th grade)

I bought the book - The care and keeping of you.

We have been reading the sections in this book that pertain to where she is right now. I will probably finish this book with after she turns 9.

 

[welovedisneyx4]

I am still trying to work up the nerve for this. I know it is coming. My DD is 9 1/2. There is a book out that is supposed to be very good for girls, but I can't remember the name. Maybe someone else knows.

 

[Auggietina]

I am still trying to work up the nerve for this. I know it is coming. My DD is 9 1/2. There is a book out that is supposed to be very good for girls, but I can't remember the name. Maybe someone else knows.

Its an American Girl Book called: The Care and Keeping of You.

IMO its a great start to having the 'talk'

 

[SunFloridaDisney]

There are a few good books, someone mentioned the Care and Keeping of You, there is one connected with the American Girls series too I believe, not sure if that's the same one.

Our local hospital actually has a class they offer once a month, Mothers and Daughters, where a womens wellness nurse give a talk, they have a short movie, and she goes over all kinds of practical advice about puberty. Both my daughters went to this when they were about 9 or 10, it was very good.

 

[aprincessmom]

We've been talking about it since DD has been quite little. She's 9 now and has known all about how her body will change not just through puberty but throughout her life for a long, long time. I would suggest that this not be just "a" talk...it should be a dialog that runs for her whole life. I took this approach with DD and I'm so glad I did. We can talk about anything and everything and each feel very comfortable about it. Our conversations are as natural as the natural process that happens to her as she grows up.

It's never to late to start

 

[DemonLlama]

I've always been of the mind, if she asks, I tell especially now that she is 10. When she asked what those feminine hygiene commercials were for, I explained, etc. She heard on the news the word "condom" and asked about it. I gave her the basics, not too much embellishment, but enough to understand how that worked.

But this past month a group of moms and daughters came together with a nurse to discuss the puberty/changing bodies/what to expect information at one of our homes.

My daughter had heard almost all this info already, but most of the girls, all aged 9 and 10, seemed genuinely shocked at was to come. And this was only about the female side of the "changing" house. Didn't even touch how it all works to actually get a baby growing inside. I kept waiting for that question, in fact, but no one ever brought it up. And they even had "write an anonymous question" time so no one felt embarassed. (The main obsession in those questions turned out to be the idea of "eggs" inside their bodies.)

 

[diskids2]

The care and keeping of you is great. My DD is 14. She "bloomed" at 12. I started talking to her at 10. I gave her a few details - and then the rest came in her questions to me over the years.

 

[BkrsLoveDis!]

We've been talking about it since DD has been quite little. She's 9 now and has known all about how her body will change not just through puberty but throughout her life for a long, long time. I would suggest that this not be just "a" talk...it should be a dialog that runs for her whole life. I took this approach with DD and I'm so glad I did. We can talk about anything and everything and each feel very comfortable about it. Our conversations are as natural as the natural process that happens to her as she grows up.

It's never to late to start

I'm so glad to hear someone say this. My Mom was not the best communicator and I vowed that I would do better - when my daughter started asking questions, I answered - I wanted her to understand that even though sometimes this whole "." thing is inconvenient, there's nothing wrong with it, it just happens. We havee not talked about sex yet but she IS only 6 - I'm sure the questions will come and when they do, I want all of us to be as comfortable as we can talking about it. I absolutely agree with the open dialogue idea!

Thanks for letting me share!

Cynthia

 

[Tinijocaro]

I've never had an official talk yet, with any of my kids, although they know quite a bit. I've given them bits and pieces on an as need basis since they were real little. My 7 year old dd knows about pads and tampons, and that mommies bleed every month and that she will too when she gets a bit older. She doesn't yet know about sex. My 10 year old son knows just about everything, but as far as he knows, sex is soley for making babies- no fun involved- you only do it to make a baby. I would advise starting now, a bit at a time.

Jackie

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

just remember, the later you wait, the more likely she will have gotten the onfo from other girls and it will be INCORRECT!

 

[ElizaB39]

When DD was 9 we started with the AG book referred to already here, The Care and Keeping of You; BTW it is excellent and I highly recommend it. Whenever it is off her bookshelf I replace it so I know how many times she has read it (she would almost never willingly clean her room so this is how I track her interest ). Also we have had the actual "marriage act" talk recently as she had just "become a woman" for the first time. She was appropriately "grossed out" for an almost 12 yr old. I was very specific and gave her anatomically correct details and terminology. I also told her it was actually very nice when you are with the love of your life (DH).

The whole point my DH had was, "did you tell her the sp*** are microscopic and aren't like little fishes that swim around inside her?" LOL I had never even thought of that, I guess I need to revisit the "microscopic" version of events. From reading the other posts here it seems I need to tell her the eggs inside her are microscopic as well. Finally, a friend asked me if I had the "oral" talk with her and I said no, but in this day and age I guess I need to do that next... *sigh*

ETA: My products are always around and out and about. DS sees them as well, but has not asked much yet. He does know that a mom and a dad are needed to make a baby. I always talk to DD about bodily changes, health, BO, feelings, hormones and etc so she knows this is ongoing.

Another friend had told her daughter that once you get your period, you are able to get PG and etc. Her daughter took that to mean she would only have her period ONCE in her life. YIKES! Luckily this misunderstanding had been cleared up and her DD has not yet started her "." Can you imagine the SHOCK if she had gotten her period one month and then the next and the next and the next?

 

[ChrisnSteph]

She's nine, and I'm starting to talk about some of the things.

 

[Marseeya]

Can I ask a question to those who waited until they were older than 8 or 9? Why was it so difficult? Why not earlier? Shouldn't kids know everything about their own bodies?

So you can probably guess by my questions that I told my DD very early in life. There was no one time I ever just sat her down and told her. It's been a part of our lives since she was a little tot. She has absolutely no fear of it and is ready for all the changes her body is going through (she's 10). When her time comes, I'm going to help her celebrate it with a girls' day out, maybe get her a manicure or something very special.

I love being mom to a girl.

 

[DisneyPhD]

Can I ask a question to those who waited until they were older than 8 or 9? Why was it so difficult? Why not earlier? Shouldn't kids know everything about their own bodies?

So you can probably guess by my questions that I told my DD very early in life. There was no one time I ever just sat her down and told her. It's been a part of our lives since she was a little tot. She has absolutely no fear of it and is ready for all the changes her body is going through (she's 10). When her time comes, I'm going to help her celebrate it with a girls' day out, maybe get her a manicure or something very special.

I love being mom to a girl.

I have a 4 year old and my tacits are more along these lines. She knows what is appropate for this age. She knows about her momies body and dadies and differences between boys and girls. She knows there are things I use sometimes because I don't have a baby in my tummy (she has a baby sister so for while I did.)

I remember when my now 14 year old niece was around 7 years old and we were talking. She told me all about reproduction. I asked her where she learned it and she said "Bill Neigh the Science guy." We were talking the other day and I told her that (Bill Neigh was on T.V.) She laughed so hard and said she didn't remember that, but she think she knew more back then. I think she has more questions now as a high schooler so I need to get on it. (My DN mother died when she was 6 years old so I am the adult female in her life.) She has the AG book, or at least she used to.

I think I need to put more thought into this.

 

[ElizaB39]

Can I ask a question to those who waited until they were older than 8 or 9? Why was it so difficult? Why not earlier? Shouldn't kids know everything about their own bodies?

So you can probably guess by my questions that I told my DD very early in life. There was no one time I ever just sat her down and told her. It's been a part of our lives since she was a little tot. She has absolutely no fear of it and is ready for all the changes her body is going through (she's 10). When her time comes, I'm going to help her celebrate it with a girls' day out, maybe get her a manicure or something very special.

I love being mom to a girl.

My DD knew about bodily changes, babies come from mommies, and periods, I just didn't get her the book until she was nine. We had been talking, but very generally. Also I took cues from her and ALWAYS answered her questions if she had any. We also watched The Baby Story, talked about adoption and etc from the time she was little. When she was 3 1/2 her bro was born so we talks then too. I guess 9 was just the age I bought her the book and that was (for me) the "real" start of lots of info, questions, explaining etc. Small amounts of infor before that age. And I never referred to femail body parts as "down there."

 

[ElizaB39]

oops duplicat post

 

[tinaluis]

I've been wondering the same thing. My oldest DD is 9 and she does know some of the basics, like stranger danger and not letting others touch your body, etc., but I'm not sure when to talk to her about menstruation and other things. This reminds me of a cute little story. We were driving down to WDW when she was about 6 and we stopped at a rest area. We were in the restroom together and she saw a sanitary napkin dispenser and asked me what that was for. I told her it was for moms and she shouldn't worry about it. She kept focusing on the letters and finally sounded out the word "napkins". She turned to me and said "$.25 for napkins, what a rip-off, you can get them for free at McDonald's." I nearly fell over laughing (and so did the other lady in the restroom). I'll have to remember to tell her about that!

 

[JVL1018]

My daughter who just turned 6 on Monday knows what a period is and about what age she'll get it.
I never sat down and talked with her but I don't hide things and if I am feeling yucky I'll say Mommy has her period and I have cramps, can you guys please just let me lie on the couch for an hour..she alsosees the tampons in the bathroom cabinet..and she asked, and I answered.

She also asked how babies were made about a year ago and I gave her the egg and sperm talk..and about a month ago she asked me how exactly the sperm got from the Daddy to the Mommy's egg.
Oy.
I told her you may think this is gross but..and explained it- just one sentence, matter of fact.
She says Oh, that's not so gross. Hey Mom-do YOU think it's gross?