Mom on Trial - Leaves child in Car for minutes

[mickeyboat]

LOL, oh my. I missed the fact that it is a SW degree. No one knows more than social workers...We are taught that by law we know more than the average parent...

Yeah, we parents are all idiots.

Actually, I know we don't always agree, but I remember lots and lots of threads where I thought you gave great parenting advice.

 

[CheshireVal]

It's fine if that some of you think I will be an overprotective parent. I could really care less what you think of me. I'll be happy at home with my children and husband living a wonderful life. You don't know me. And THANKFULLY I won't ever have to deal with you in real life.

I find many people on this thread rude and they think they are some how superior because they have children. NEWSFLASH...many women have the ability to have children. And many of them do. And many of them shouldn't.

Having children doesn't make you fantastic by any means. Get over yourself.

I am sick of you crazy people and thankful that I will not be a neglectful parent. If you have anything else to say to me in this thread...I will not be reading it. I'm over this. You people are NUTS. Feel free to PM me...but it will get deleted. I have better things to do. I've already spent way too much time on this thread. And I'm surprised some of you SUPER parents have spent so much time here.

I think generally people will welcome an opinion of someone without kids. For some reason, though, your posts are coming across as a little naive, idealistic, and overly judgmental.

It's not what you say, it's how you say it.

Also, here's some more advice coming from someone who KNOWS: don't put so much stock in your future as the world's most perfect parent. You might not be able to even have kids when you want to.

 

[mickeyboat]

Also, here's some more advice coming from someone who KNOWS: don't put so much stock in your future as the world's most perfect parent. You might not be able to even have kids when you want to.

, Val. Still rooting for you.
Denae

 

[Carly_Roach]

Wow! Just Wow!

Yeah. And the statement below pretty much sums up what I've been saying all along about minding other people's business:

Originally Posted by Mrs. Bee
It's clear that some of you think leaving children unattended is fine. Whatever floats your boat. But if you lived in my town and I saw it...I'd report you. That's my choice.

Mrs. Bee's, or anyone else's, idea of unattended and your idea of unattended can (and probably does) vary wildly.

 

[CheshireVal]

, Val. Still rooting for you.
Denae

Aww, thanks! I'm not giving up.

I just hate to see someone with such tunnel-vision about something in the future that is so uncertain!

 

[piglet too]

What I find interesting is the quote in the nbc5 article from her lawyer. According to Illinois statutes, any child under the age of 14 can not be left unattended. Gee, I let my 13 year old stay in the car by himself all the time. If I am running into someplace real quick, I will let him stay and listen to music. Guess I better not do this anymore in case I get arrested too.

 

[mickeyboat]

Aww, thanks! I'm not giving up.

I just hate to see someone with such tunnel-vision about something in the future that is so uncertain!

It makes me so mad that I spent years being told I could control my fertility, just to find out that is not necessarily true.

Denae

 

[jenm2878]

Go have a kid or three and come back and tell us about your perfect little world and perfect little life and how you never leave the room without your child and I will bet money that you've either lost your mind or you're heavily medicated.

This made me spit my water out!

 

[piglet too]

I also want to add that I have heard or seen nothing about these so-called witnesses who say she was away for over 10 minutes. Plus, I don't think the police were called to the scene. It is very common in communities around here to have a "community service officer" patrol shopping malls and the like. They are not real police officers, do not carry a gun, but can give citations and tickets.

 

[KariC]

Sorry, this isn't very realistic. There are days my DH works from 9 in the morning until midnight.

You make a zillion little decisions every day as a parent. Some of them are more risky than others. Anyone who thinks they make NO risky decisions with their kids either has them in a crate or is kidding themselves.

Ooohhhh, crate is risky, too!

I'm thankful for pay-at-the-pump gas stations, but I have left my kids to run into a store with a plate glass window in front, by my car a few times. Don't like too....but sometimes it IS the best option.

And to think, I chose to stay in the car to read when I was a kid.....throw my mom in the pokey, too!

 

[Carly_Roach]

I also want to add that I have heard or seen nothing about these so-called witnesses who say she was away for over 10 minutes. Plus, I don't think the police were called to the scene. It is very common in communities around here to have a "community service officer" patrol shopping malls and the like. They are not real police officers, do not carry a gun, but can give citations and tickets.

OP

But that was long and far enough to land her in court after a police officer spotted her sleeping 2-year-old daughter alone in the vehicle; Coyne had taken her two older daughters to pour $8.29 in coins into a Salvation Army kettle.

Minutes later, she was under arrest — the focus of both a police investigation and a probe by the state's child welfare agency. Now the case that has become an Internet flash point for people who either blast police for overstepping their authority or Coyne for putting a child in danger.

I don't believe the "community service officer" would be able to arrest anyone and start a police investigation.

 

[piglet too]

Actually, they are. Again, this is common around here. (I am not too far from where this happened, and many towns around do the same thing.)

 

[piglet too]

http://www.nbc5.com/family/15499107/detail.html
Here is where I get the "community service officer from"

A minute or two later as she and the kids walked back to the car, a community service officer from Crestwood was standing there and told her she was under arrest for child endangerment.

 

[MissTeenQueen]

It's like the more over-protective you are, the better you are as a parent. I just don't get it.
.

coming from a teen's point of view. agreed. Kids actually hate it when parents are over protective, it just gets strait up annoying.

 

[mickeyboat]

coming from a teen's point of view. agreed. Kids actually hate it when parents are over protective, it just gets strait up annoying.

It's hard to be a mom. As hard as you are pulling away, she wants to hold on. She loves you and wants to make sure you are safe and well. It's tough for her to see you anything other than her little baby. And it's hard to let you make your own decisions and mistakes. I think she is probably trying really hard, though.

I tell my kids all the time that it is my job to be annoying! It's how I know I am doing things right.

Denae

 

[mickeyboat]

Another thought Teen Queen reminded me of.

It's one thing to take care of an infant - think you won't leave their side, will always put their needs first. It's quite another thing to take care of a toddler, a young child, a teenager, a young adult. Your parenting style changes as children grow, as more children come along and as you learn from your mistakes. I think that is what people who never had children can't understand. They only understand the theory, but have never put that theory to the test.

Denae

 

[Conservative Hippie]

Another thought Teen Queen reminded me of.

It's one thing to take care of an infant - think you won't leave their side, will always put their needs first. It's quite another thing to take care of a toddler, a young child, a teenager, a young adult. Your parenting style changes as children grow, as more children come along and as you learn from your mistakes. I think that is what people who never had children can't understand. They only understand the theory, but have never put that theory to the test.

Denae

Great post!

Even if you have read every book, been around children your whole life, and taken all sorts of parenting classes, nothing compares to the real-life experience of caring for YOUR child day in and day out.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I know that many of us had all the answers before we had children. Being a parent is a very humbling experience. One I wouldn't trade for the world, however it's most certainly a hard job. I don't mind listening to everyone's points of view, however each of us is different and each of our kids are different.

 

[meandtheguys2]

Yeah, we parents are all idiots.

Actually, I know we don't always agree, but I remember lots and lots of threads where I thought you gave great parenting advice.

Denae, that is because I now have that missing perspective. And I try to have respect for others. LOL, even when I know I am right... eta: It is amazing how often I find out others can be right at the same time!

I love being a parent. But it is nothing like I thought it would be. A million times tougher, and a million times better!

 

[luvsJack]

Haven't read this whole thread. But just wanted to add my .02. Leaving your child in his/her play pen or whatever while you run to the bathroom or shower or eat is totally different than leaving your child in a car in a store parking lot. Even leaving your child in your car, in your drive way while you run back in for something is different. When you "run back in", you are aware of your child in the car; you grab what you need and run right back out. She was taking pictures of the other kids and could very well have lost track of how much time that child was in that car.

If, in that area, it is against the law to leave a child in a vehicle then the officer was very much within the law to arrest her. We have students (community college) that have left their kids in the car while they "run in" to drop off something in the office. Only gone a minute or two. They have all been told by our campus police: do it again and you will be arrested and DHS will be called. They get one warning and it doesn't matter if the child is in the car 1 minute or 10.

I have 3 kids, haven't "stopped living" because I have children. BUT, never left one in a car, even for a second, after my youngest ds was in the car when it rolled into the side of the house.