MIL- I just don't get it...

[VSL]

Only this smiley will do:

 

[Disney Doll]

Generally people know to call us up unil about 10PM. We are up till 11PM usually, but if the phone rings after 10PM, my first thought is usually "uh oh".

My late DMIL had the habit of calling very early on Saturday and Sunday mornings, like 630-7 AM, for usually a not-very-good reason.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

If my phone rings after 9 pm- somebody better be dead.

This is totally me and my husband.

 

[NCDisneyMom]

While I would definitely be more annoyed if she was disturbing my sleep, my MIL annoys me, too.

Dh doesn't get home from work until 7:00pm. So, between 7 and 7:05, we are sitting down to dinner. If the phone rings between 7:10 and 7:15, we don't even have to look at the Caller ID...it's his Mother. Inevitably, she starts with "Are you eating?". Um, yes, we eat at this time almost every night. Then the "OK, I'll just keep you for a second". She states the business of her call, then you can just feel her sitting back and kicking her feet up as she says "So, how are the kids?"

Now that we have Caller ID, we just don't answer it. In fact, we won't answer it during dinner at all. Dh has little time with the kids in the evenings, so we really treasure our dinner time when we are all sitting together. If it's that important, they can leave a voice mail, and we'll call them back when we are done.

 

[Shugardrawers]

If I know they are night owls then I call up until around 11ish. Most people I know aren't though.

I have a friend on the west coast, we are on the east coast. Her favorite time to call is 2am. She says it's because she has to wait until her calling plan is on night time hours (9pm) and she's off work (11pm). And yes she knows it's 2am here. I'm sure she wonders why I call her less and less and why I frequently don't answer at that hour anymore. Maybe because she seems to have so little regard for us anymore??? I just don't get people who can't see beyond their own nose.

 

[Marseeya]

That sounds like my MIL. She doesn't call the house unless it's late at night. Gee, it would be too bad if she'd ever call early enough for the kids to talk to her, right?

 

[momrek06]

To the OP: I am guessing you do not have caller id??? Anyway, what I would have done is (if feeling the NEED to even answer at that hour) picked up and in your most GROGGIEST voice say "HELLO"..at which point MIL would have immediately said "did I wake you" and then you are to IMMEDIATELY say "yes, can I call you back tomorrow and then JUST HANG UP. Do not even wait for her to answer. She will just assume you were in some serious sleeping fog. Then the next day when you chat, if she says "you basically hung up on me" then say "oh really, I was sound asleep" and then this is where you then suggest to MIL: NO CALLS AFTER 10pm PERIOD esp on Thursday nights. PERIOD!!! EASY & EASY

As far as the early AM calls, I generally have to get up at about 5am to use the bathroom, when you head back to bed, FIRST THING YOU DO, take the phone off the hook, pick it up and dial your #, to everyone it will be busy! NO OTHER CALLS COMING THROUGH. And before you know it, you will be awake, well rested and putting the phone BACK ON THE HOOK!!! MY TRICK, works like a charm.

 

[Mermaid02]

This is totally me and my husband.

Yeah- Call me at 6 a.m. but at 9:00 I'm usually asleep. I have always gone to bed early and gotten up early.

 

[SunFloridaDisney]

My now-departed inlaws never called much, they just dropped by to see how we were doing. Sometimes early in the morning on Saturday!!! They'd stand there ringing the bell and banging on the door, "well, we saw your cars in the driveway, we knew you must be home" Used to drive me crazy!!

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Yeah- Call me at 6 a.m. but at 9:00 I'm usually asleep. I have always gone to bed early and gotten up early.

I'll chat you up one side of a wall and down the other at 6 a.m., but if you call me at 9, you probably won't get a coherent answer out of me.

 

[kbkids]

My now-departed inlaws never called much, they just dropped by to see how we were doing. Sometimes early in the morning on Saturday!!! They'd stand there ringing the bell and banging on the door, "well, we saw your cars in the driveway, we knew you must be home" Used to drive me crazy!!

My FIL used to do this. He finally stopped after one day, just showing up at the door. I didn't hear him drive up, and I was sitting in the living room in just a t-shirt. When I heard the doorbell, I jumped up and ran into my bedroom to get dressed. My DH answered the door, and he actually had the nerve to say, "I won't stay. I can see I wasn't welcome." DH said, "Dad, it's fine. She just wasn't dressed." I'm walking back into the room about now, and he looks at me and said, "Sorry I disturbed you. It won't happen again." and walks off. I asked DH what happened as I didn't hear the conversation before then, and he said, "Not really sure." He started calling first after then and everything has been fine, but not sure why he got mad that day. Um, I guess I'm supposed to stay dressed and ready to play hostess at all times in case he drops by.

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

To the OP: I am guessing you do not have caller id??? Anyway, what I would have done is (if feeling the NEED to even answer at that hour) picked up and in your most GROGGIEST voice say "HELLO"..at which point MIL would have immediately said "did I wake you" and then you are to IMMEDIATELY say "yes, can I call you back tomorrow and then JUST HANG UP. Do not even wait for her to answer. She will just assume you were in some serious sleeping fog. Then the next day when you chat, if she says "you basically hung up on me" then say "oh really, I was sound asleep" and then this is where you then suggest to MIL: NO CALLS AFTER 10pm PERIOD esp on Thursday nights. PERIOD!!! EASY & EASY

As far as the early AM calls, I generally have to get up at about 5am to use the bathroom, when you head back to bed, FIRST THING YOU DO, take the phone off the hook, pick it up and dial your #, to everyone it will be busy! NO OTHER CALLS COMING THROUGH. And before you know it, you will be awake, well rested and putting the phone BACK ON THE HOOK!!! MY TRICK, works like a charm.

Both STELLAR ideas! Must implement ASAP. DH usually gets up to go to the bathroom, so it's his deal.

MIL is a night owl and we really do get along quite well. We do chat when she calls and I am sure she made the assumption that I would wake up to do the same last night. I guess the monosyllable replies that faded into "Mmmhmm" didn't get the point across. I know she meant nothing by it. But that combined with an escaping cat and a dog that decided she had to pee much earlier than usual (on my sleep-in day!) put my panties in a knot this morning!

DH hates my dad calling...and so do I. He has a terrible habit of doing the bright and early calls. Unfortunately, the last time he called that early, there really was a terrible family emergency. And DH spent the time on the phone with him. Despite my incessant, "Is everything OK?" to "What happened?" to "TELL ME NOW!", I was the last to know. Whenever the phone rings before 9am now, my heart drops.

 

[momrek06]

U.T.M.: I am glad you like my ideas...seriously now, this WILL work and do NOT hang that phone up and feel guilty, just roll over and go back to sleep BECAUSE this will be the LAST time a call comes in at that hour IF you play your cards right...it is not like you will be doing this evening after evening. She will ask what that was about the next day and just ever so nicely and kindly tell her..."we have early wake-up call on Friday and we were all tucked in early"...THIS WILL WORK.

GOOD LUCK!!!

 

[Evil Genius]

We have a strict no calls after 10pm rule. Everyone who knows us knows that. My dh's busines partner used to call on a regular basis at 10:30 and just yak. Nothing about the business just stupid stuff. I finally answered the phone one night and told him this had better be about something serious or else. He laughed and when he realized I wasn't laughing hung up.

 

[momrek06]

We have a strict no calls after 10pm rule. Everyone who knows us knows that. My dh's busines partner used to call on a regular basis at 10:30 and just yak. Nothing about the business just stupid stuff. I finally answered the phone one night and told him this had better be about something serious or else. He laughed and when he realized I wasn't laughing hung up.

E.G.: That is a GREAT rule for everyone BUT remember our in-laws and out-laws tend to think they ARE NOT JUST ANYONE, they are FAMILY!!! Hence NO RULES for them. Oh, don't get me wrong, I love my in-laws and my parents but as they progress in age, they FORGET some of the more important rules like DO NOT CALL AFTER TEN. And you do not want anyone angry so, in order to have a kinder and gentler world as far as the FAM goes...well than you have to have alternate strategies..so then that is where the "role playing" comes in...with "heeelllllooo" as if you were in a complete sleep fog....(maybe even "dropping the phone" a little)hahaha!

I guarantee...they will think twice about calling late at night again!!!

 

[luv2nascar]

it better be dang important after 9pm.
I don't call other or expect to be called after 9pm. She would have gotten a tongue lashing.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

You could always act like she was interrupting something...

 

[Aprille]

You could always act like she was interrupting something...

You owe me a new monitor!!!

ETA: To the OP - I feel your pain. I've had a MIL for 31 years. I hate to tell ya but it doesn't get any easier.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

You owe me a new monitor!!!

Glad I could be of service!

 

[UrsulasShadow]

Gosh, I love mothers-in-law! Just when you think your family of origin is utterly crackers, along comes your spouse's mother to make you realize how normal they really are.