MerryPoppins and the "burglar"

[MerryPoppins]

Chapter 1

This has been an interesting day. My mother is out of town and I have been taking care of her house. She lives in a sprawling, large, one-story that is full of antiques and knick-knacks. This morning the security company called to tell me her alarm system was going off. The police checked it out, but saw nothing suspicious. I didn't go over there, since they felt it wasn't a worry.

An hour later, it went off again. The security people felt it must be a glitch in the system since this time it was a motion sensor INSIDE the house. I decided to meet the police and see what was going on.

I got there first and saw nothing that concerned me, so I entered the house. (I know, that was dumb - DH already told me not to do that again) The police arrived a few minutes later.

I found several things that were disturbed in the kitchen. Mainly a rooster that had been knocked into the floor that usually is on a shelf above the stove. We began to walk through the house and found several things out of place or turned over. In the living room, two plants were in the floor. I picked up one and replaced it. Then I bent down and picked up the other one and a squirrel flew up into my face. I almost wet my pants and I'm sure you could have heard my scream for miles. The policeman was killing himself laughing at me.

We walked through the house looking for this 4-legged burglar, but he was nowhere to be found. The policeman called animal control and wished me luck.

 

[MerryPoppins]

Chapter 2

Animal control arrived. We searched the house, looking under beds and inside curtains. Remember, this house is huge. It took forever. More evidence of the intruder, but he was hiding. I'm convinced he was laughing at us.

Animal control lady says they have no live traps. I will have to go buy a trap to catch the burglar. She wishes me luck and leaves.

 

[MerryPoppins]

Chapter 3

I call the feed stores in town looking for a live trap. One of the stores says that will never work. I need to find what room the squirrel is in and catch him. He suggests wearing gloves and using a blanket or a sack. He tells me that catching squirrels is actually FUN. I told him he should come over and do it then! He says it only costs $50 a visit for his services, but if I don't know where it is, it may take several trips. Sigh.

I go pick DS from his high school finals. We return to search the house again. By now, I am wishing my mother lived in a 1 bedroom apartment! We go through the whole house. No squirrel. Finally, we decide to start shutting doors as we go. At least that way he'll be confined and only do damage in a small area and we might get lucky and find out where he is hiding.

We started in the bedrooms searching and shutting the doors as we go. When we get to the other end of the house, we locked up and went to get DD from her school. Meanwhile, I am trying to reach my mother by cell phone to warn her of the destruction and ask what she wants me to do. No luck.

 

[MerryPoppins]

Chapter 4

I get DD to ballet class and call the feed and seed guy back. He agrees to meet me at the house. We go in armed with burlap sacks and brooms. We hear the squirrel scratching in the hall to the bedrooms. All of the bedroom doors are closed and a door leading to the hall is also closed. That means that when we shut everything up the squirrel was sitting on a picture frame or the one table at the end of the hall. I don't know how we missed seeing him! Some hunter I would make.

We open the door to the side yard and let the squirrel out of the hallway. He runs away from the door and goes into the living room. We turn over couches and chairs trying to find him. Finally scare him out from behind the tv. He heads into the dining room.

I shut the door. We destroy the dining room and he finally heads into the dinette and then my grandmother's apartment. We shut the door to the dining room. His space is getting smaller and smaller, but the idiot keeps running past the open door instead of going out.

After destroying the apartment, we scare him back into the dinette, past the open door and into the kitchen. Here he disappears into the microwave range hood. "Ah-hah" says my partner. That was how he got into the house in the first place. He fell down the pipe and onto the stove. Now the squirrel is chattering and fussing at us from inside the vent, but he won't come out.

The feed and seed guy says he is afraid to reach up in there. He doesn't want to get bit. Suddenly, all is quiet. We wonder if he found a way to get up the pipe, but there is no way to know. The feed and seed guy leaves, wishing me luck. He suggests leaving for 2 hours and then come back to see if there is more damage. He does leave me his home number in case I need to have him come help me again later.

 

[MerryPoppins]

Chapter 5

I pick up DD from ballet and go home to pick up DS. We get our act together and return to the scene to see if our burglar is around. We looked for anything out of place or turned over. Nothing was found.

Mom comes home tonight to a royal mess. I hope that the $50 at least got rid of the culprit. I felt like part of Mouse Hunt. It was like one major disaster after another.

I didn't turn the alarm back on, just in case. Didn't want to bring the police out again. I'm praying this is the last chapter in the saga. I'm worn out.

 

[Saffron]

OMG!

I don't mean to sound mean or anything, but ROTFLMBBO! I'm sorry. It does sound like Mouse Hunt!

I hope he finds his home before your mom gets home! Can you imagine waking up to that little face staring at you! ROTFLOL!

Good luck!

 

[janette]

I hope your Mom isn't too upset and hopefully her friend will stay away.

 

[WillyJ]

What a day MP!!!!

I take it your not going to be opening a "Squirrel Removal Service" anytime soon, 'eh sweetie?

 

[ByTheSea]

Oh my!!!


I am not laughing AT you, but such a funny story!

Is there anyway to put some sort of screen over the vent?

 

[nativetxn]

My GOSH! What a day you had.

 

[MerryPoppins]

Willy, I just think I may be a squirrel removal expert at this point. But it is not my job of choice at the moment.

Finding a way to close off the vent is high on Mom's priority list. Wonder if she'll ask for that for Christmas?

Personally, I loved the way everyone wished me luck and walked away laughing to themselves. The animal control lady even had the nerve to ask if I ever watched the movie Christmas Vacation.

Mom got home. So far, no sign of her visitor returning. Just in case she is keeping that part of the house closed off. He may just be bedded down for the night. At least he is not in the bedrooms anymore, so she can get a good night's sleep.

It wasn't too funny this afternoon, but it's getting funnier and funnier now that it's over. I would give anything to see my face when he first jumped out at me. I'm sure it was memorable. The policeman seemed to think so.

 

[kejoda]

What a day! You need to find a ceramic squirrel for your Mom for Christmas!

 

[MerryPoppins]

What a funny idea! I think I'll try to find one. She'd laugh, I bet. We'd have fun explaining it to the family, too.

 

[wovenwonder]

Melissa!
We had a squirrel HUNT at our house this summer. Thankfully he remained in our woodstove -- but it still took days to get him out. My husband --- the rough hunter (honestly) - felt sorry for the squirrel and gave him some water when they caught him (and eventually left him loose again).

 

[Pam]

Sort of like that Mouse Trap movie - only it starred a squirrel!
Pam

 

[Annie&Hallie'sMom]

What an adventure! You are a heck of a good daughter!

 

[newmousecateer]

I along with the others am not laughing AT you, but the way you told the story is funny.

If you do catch it, send it to Pam. She'll know what to do with it.

 

[MerryPoppins]

Update:

So far, there is no further sign of the visitor. We think he did finally manage to go out the way he came in. Mom hasn't actually found anything valuable that got broken. I guess between the alarm going off several times and my inept hunting, he was too busy hiding to break things.

I'm still hoping he won't wake up and jump out at Mom during the day today. A trip to the ER after she has a stroke is not my idea of a good follow-up to yesterday!

 

[Rajah]

How funny!!! I know, not funny at the time, but you tell the story so well! ROFL!!!

 

[Boots]

Sounds like you made the policeman's day! Hope the little critter is now outside!!!