May I have some honest opinions?

[Tiggerlover91]

Nevermind gang. I was told it wasn't DIS friendly. Interesting, my other stories were. Yes this one is a little more "intense", but I didn't think it would offend anyone. Sexual content is a little heavy, but not offensive...I hope. If anyone else wants the link, please contact me through private message.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Ummm, I think you need to warn the content is not DIS friendly before anyone selects this. There are writers blogs for stuff like this where this content is to be expected.

From a literary point of view it needs some smoothing over, the language feels like its trying too hard to be highbrow so I never stop being aware of it and never quite drift into the story. In order to do a period piece you need the reader to fall into the rhythm of the language, I love how Mark Twain does it.... KWIM

It's not quite my style but good luck anyway, it has potential. Sort of Anne Rice meets Stephenie Meyer.

 

[Tiggerlover91]

Ummm, I think you need to warn the content is not DIS friendly before anyone selects this.

It's not my style.

Really? I'm sorry. Nevermind then. Deleting link.

 

[Tinijocaro]

I wouldn't delete-it's not that bad, just a bit racey. I didn't have time to read the whoel thing-going to church, but the opening caught my attention. One small typo: "Ally, don't make me to this the hard way." He opened her curtains." You need "do", not "to".

 

[Tiggerlover91]

I wouldn't delete-it's not that bad, just a bit racey. I didn't have time to read the whoel thing-going to church, but the opening caught my attention. One small typo: "Ally, don't make me to this the hard way." He opened her curtains." You need "do", not "to".

Thank you. I'll fix the typo.