Marrieds choosing not to have kids

[Liisa]

It was just something you KNEW you had to wait for- and we never expected our parent's to complain about the age to get it moved up so all of us little angles who were "more mature" than some others will get special privileges!

Ok, so if we are going to adjust that "Golden Age of 18" rule, then I'd like to make some changes to the retirement age. I'm ready NOW!!! Excuse me, I've got to go let Uncle Sam know where to start sending my Soc. Security checks.

Seriously, we've all had to wait for certain privileges. Why on earth should that change?

 

[Muushka]

Ok, so if we are going to adjust that "Golden Age of 18" rule, then I'd like to make some changes to the retirement age. I'm ready NOW!!! Excuse me, I've got to go let Uncle Sam know where to start sending my Soc. Security checks.

Seriously, we've all had to wait for certain privileges. Why on earth should that change?

Because the sun did not rise and set on us when we were children!
Because the earth did not revolve around us when we were children!!

 

[maddhatir]

Ok, so if we are going to adjust that "Golden Age of 18" rule, then I'd like to make some changes to the retirement age. I'm ready NOW!!! Excuse me, I've got to go let Uncle Sam know where to start sending my Soc. Security checks.

Seriously, we've all had to wait for certain privileges. Why on earth should that change?

I WANT MY SS NOW! And WHY can't we change the rules- Somedays I FEEEEEEL like I am a mature 62 so why would these rules apply to me?

But wait, lets saaaayyyyyy, hmmmmm? How about this scenario..... I am going on vacation and I will turn 62 ON vacation- I think I should be able to get my benefits early even though everyone else has to follow the rules BHAAAA! GIVE IT UP!

 

[ChisJo]

I just saw this news story & can't believe it...

"Nev. couple blame Internet for neglect"
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070716/ap_on_re_us/neglect_internet_addiction

Come on....even I know to get up from the PC & occassionally let the dog out & toss her some kibble!

This is terrible...I hope those kids will be alright. A couple of years ago, my BF divorced her husband because he chose to play video games over her....A choice he made without even thinking twice. After doing this for a couple of years, she decided to leave him and she went through a huge depression because of it. He literally told her one night that he was too busy to do anything with her because he was on the computer, for th tenth night in a row. She was wearing some sexy lingerie - he didn't even look up at her. What a blow to your self esteem....

Anyways, as for the other thread - I had to wait to drive, to drink, to get into a bar, to gamble in Vegas, to go into adult themed shows (think Vegas), to smoke, to get my degree, etc. Why are people teaching their kids that it's ok to disobey the rules just because they think they are mature enough??? I personally wouldn't go on a disney cruise simply for the fact that I am child free and can guarantee that their wouldn't be enough child free areas for me, but that being said, parents who want to go with or without their children should expect that there will be places that perhaps their mature 12/13/14/15/16/17 year olds cannot go...it's the rules - why bend them, and then where would the bending stop. Congratulations to Disney for enforcing it.

 

[Hixski]

Anyways, as for the other thread - I had to wait to drive, to drink, to get into a bar, to gamble in Vegas, to go into adult themed shows (think Vegas), to smoke, to get my degree, etc. Why are people teaching their kids that it's ok to disobey the rules just because they think they are mature enough??? I personally wouldn't go on a disney cruise simply for the fact that I am child free and can guarantee that their wouldn't be enough child free areas for me, but that being said, parents who want to go with or without their children should expect that there will be places that perhaps their mature 12/13/14/15/16/17 year olds cannot go...it's the rules - why bend them, and then where would the bending stop. Congratulations to Disney for enforcing it.

The thing that makes me so mad about these parents is the fact that they are my age, my generation. We weren't raised like that. It just makes me nuts. My parents never tried to set my butt at a bar stool when I was a teenager (or younger) just because they wanted to and hang the rules about children at a bar. (Can you tell people have been sitting their kids at the bars at restaurants lately, at least they tell them they have to be 21 ) The whole world does not need to revolve around children.

 

[kennancat]

I just saw this news story & can't believe it...

"Nev. couple blame Internet for neglect"
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070716/ap_on_re_us/neglect_internet_addiction

Come on....even I know to get up from the PC & occassionally let the dog out & toss her some kibble!

Amazing - I'm surprised this couple found the time to A) make the kids in the first place and B) go to the hospital and have them!

 

[Liisa]

My parents never tried to set my butt at a bar stool when I was a teenager (or younger) just because they wanted to and hang the rules about children at a bar. (Can you tell people have been sitting their kids at the bars at restaurants lately, at least they tell them they have to be 21 ) The whole world does not need to revolve around children.

This reminded me... DH and I were at the Adventurers Club at DTD last September. Now I know that some parents want to see what it's all about and early on in the night, things are pretty tame. I really don't have a problem with that. But the night we went, a family had an infant (couldn't have been older than 9 months) and they were there fairly late. It got to the point where the characters were making fun of them (which I think is the point when they took the hint and decided to leave). But the worst part - they were letting this little girl pick up their empty beer bottles and suck on them. GROSS!!! and INAPPROPRIATE!!! Even DH commented and he usually doesn't pay attention to things like that.

 

[Liisa]

Amazing - I'm surprised this couple found the time to A) make the kids in the first place and B) go to the hospital and have them!

I'm with you. The children weren't very old, so when did these people have time to have kids in the first place.

That whole article is disturbing. And the poor children. I notice the article didn't mention that the parents were also starving - so they found the time to feed themselves. Hopefully the kids won't suffer permanent damage and they are so young they won't remember this ordeal. With any luck, they'll get adopted into a family that actually appreciates them. Sicko parents.

 

[TXTurtle]

Two thoughts, first on the entertaining cruise line thread - while I get where some people are coming from and really wouldn't mind if Disney made it 16-and-up with a parent, there's also the issue that, well, they're rules. And, really, that period of too-old for the club, too young for the adult pool only lasts a few years. I know this is a horrible thing to even think about but maybe, just maybe, you should wait for your DCL. Go to WDW instead. A few years ago my fam planned a cruise (on DCL, of course) and only realized after booking that my DB would be just a week shy of 18. Instead of complaining they just rebooked for a month after his bday. Solution found. And amazingly none of us died by waiting a bit.

And about neglect - sick. Ok, DH(2B) and I aren't having kids in part b/c we know we wouldn't be such great parents. Sadly, because of that awareness, we'd probably be better than sooooo many people who breed. Speaking of ages and licenses and stuff ... once again I think how much better the world would be if kids didn't come until one had a license. Not like gov't regulated, just if nature worked that way. Of course, in this perfect imaginary world no birth control would be necessary if you didn't have that license.

 

[Liisa]

Some of you may have seen this already - originally posted on the Canadian boards and linked the the Theme Park attractions board... SOOO funny!!!

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1518663


(I've never posted a link before, so there is a chance that it won't work. If it doesn't can someone let me know how to link to another thread?) <--- nevermind. It worked!

 

[maddhatir]

Some of you may have seen this already - originally posted on the Canadian boards and linked the the Theme Park attractions board... SOOO funny!!!

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1518663


(I've never posted a link before, so there is a chance that it won't work. If it doesn't can someone let me know how to link to another thread?) <--- nevermind. It worked!

O......M........G..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Liisa! That is freaking HILARIOUS!!!!!

I need to share it with some of my pirate lovers! This is too good not to share........I am off!

 

[ObsessedwiththeMouse]

I am 32 years old. I have been married since I was 25 (celebrating our 7th anniversary at WDW).

DH and I choose not to have children. I have never wanted to have children. Early in our marriage, people asked questions about kids, and we always said, "We aren't having any. We are happy as we are."

I guess they thought we were bluffing, because the questions have been coming hard and fast.

My usual responses, depending on the questioning:
"No, we are not having children"
"No, we are not planning on having children."
"We don't want to have children - our dogs are enough."
"We don't want children - we are very happy with our life as it is."
"We choose not to have chidren."
"We choose to be child-free."
"We choose not to be parents."
"We want to be good aunts and uncles, and that will satisfy us"

People keep on asking, and they don't find my answers acceptable. They don't feel that my choice is VALID?

It makes me angry, but it also makes me sad. I think a lot of people are having children because it is expected of them, and not what they really want.

Any one want to give their input - I would appreciate it!

Hi--

I just wanted to comment real quick and then I'll go back into lurkdom.

First of all, I read some post on here about how people can't imagine others not "wanting something so wonderful". I have children, one of each, in fact...Yes, they are wonderful and I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world....BUT, there are times when it is SO very hard...like when they have a fever and are up all night screaming and crying. To me, the kisses and hugs and the "I love you mama" make up for those nights. There isn't anything in this world that I wouldn't do for my children. The bond of love between mother and child is an amazing gift that I never thought I would ever feel.


With that being said, some people just aren't cut out to be parents. Some people couldn't handle the lack of sleep or the crying, or, as some of you said, some are just too selfish to have children. (Yes, having children makes you selfLESS...You don't get to eat that ice cream sandwich all to yourself...There are always little ones that want to "share". You don't get to spend your days as you choose...you have someone that depends on you. )

BUT, if there is an adult that already KNOWS they're not cut out for the hardest job in the world, then I applaud them. Personally, I would much rather see someone who KNOWS they aren't cut out for motherhood and recognize that fact. Why would anyone FORCE children onto someone who KNOWS they couldn't handle it? It wouldn't be a good situation for the parent OR the child.

Linda
Courtney 9-5-01
Collin 1-30-06

 

[Devil_Dog99]

Hi--

I just wanted to comment real quick and then I'll go back into lurkdom.

First of all, I read some post on here about how people can't imagine others not "wanting something so wonderful". I have children, one of each, in fact...Yes, they are wonderful and I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world....BUT, there are times when it is SO very hard...like when they have a fever and are up all night screaming and crying. To me, the kisses and hugs and the "I love you mama" make up for those nights. There isn't anything in this world that I wouldn't do for my children. The bond of love between mother and child is an amazing gift that I never thought I would ever feel.


With that being said, some people just aren't cut out to be parents. Some people couldn't handle the lack of sleep or the crying, or, as some of you said, some are just too selfish to have children. (Yes, having children makes you selfLESS...You don't get to eat that ice cream sandwich all to yourself...There are always little ones that want to "share". You don't get to spend your days as you choose...you have someone that depends on you. )

BUT, if there is an adult that already KNOWS they're not cut out for the hardest job in the world, then I applaud them. Personally, I would much rather see someone who KNOWS they aren't cut out for motherhood and recognize that fact. Why would anyone FORCE children onto someone who KNOWS they couldn't handle it? It wouldn't be a good situation for the parent OR the child.

Linda
Courtney 9-5-01
Collin 1-30-06

Cut out to be parents??? Excuse me??? I think the people who are not cut out to be parents are the ones who have kids but have absolutely no clue as to how to raise them. If couples choose not to have kids, it most certainly does NOT mean they are not cut out to be parents. It does not mean anything. Period. End of sentence.

DW and I did not really choose not to have kids. It just never happened. And that is fine with me. But that in no way means we are not 'cut out' to be parents. We'd make darn good parents. And so would lots of others on this thread. And what exactly is wrong with being too selfish to not want to have kids? The selfish ones are the ones who have kids because they always wanted babies but then don't know which end the diaper goes on or leave the kid in the car while they go drink/gamble/socialize or call 1-800-grandma every Saturday night because they want to go out and not be inconvenienced by children.

I am hoping that you did not mean that all couples who choose not to have kids are all not 'cut out' to be parents. I do agree with you in that those who do realize they are not cut out and decide not to should be applauded for making a wise decision. But to lump all childless couples together as 'not cut out' is narrow minded.

Forgive me if I mis-read your intentions, but the way your post read

 

[Hixski]

Cut out to be parents??? Excuse me??? I think the people who are not cut out to be parents are the ones who have kids but have absolutely no clue as to how to raise them. If couples choose not to have kids, it most certainly does NOT mean they are not cut out to be parents. It does not mean anything. Period. End of sentence.

DW and I did not really choose not to have kids. It just never happened. And that is fine with me. But that in no way means we are not 'cut out' to be parents. We'd make darn good parents. And so would lots of others on this thread. And what exactly is wrong with being too selfish to not want to have kids? The selfish ones are the ones who have kids because they always wanted babies but then don't know which end the diaper goes on or leave the kid in the car while they go drink/gamble/socialize or call 1-800-grandma every Saturday night because they want to go out and not be inconvenienced by children.

I am hoping that you did not mean that all couples who choose not to have kids are all not 'cut out' to be parents. I do agree with you in that those who do realize they are not cut out and decide not to should be applauded for making a wise decision. But to lump all childless couples together as 'not cut out' is narrow minded.

Forgive me if I mis-read your intentions, but the way your post read

You know I was sitting here trying to think about a reply to that too. I think you did a fine job at saying what most of us would think about that. THANKS!!!!

 

[ObsessedwiththeMouse]

Cut out to be parents??? Excuse me??? I think the people who are not cut out to be parents are the ones who have kids but have absolutely no clue as to how to raise them. If couples choose not to have kids, it most certainly does NOT mean they are not cut out to be parents. It does not mean anything. Period. End of sentence.

DW and I did not really choose not to have kids. It just never happened. And that is fine with me. But that in no way means we are not 'cut out' to be parents. We'd make darn good parents. And so would lots of others on this thread. And what exactly is wrong with being too selfish to not want to have kids? The selfish ones are the ones who have kids because they always wanted babies but then don't know which end the diaper goes on or leave the kid in the car while they go drink/gamble/socialize or call 1-800-grandma every Saturday night because they want to go out and not be inconvenienced by children.

I am hoping that you did not mean that all couples who choose not to have kids are all not 'cut out' to be parents. I do agree with you in that those who do realize they are not cut out and decide not to should be applauded for making a wise decision. But to lump all childless couples together as 'not cut out' is narrow minded.

Forgive me if I mis-read your intentions, but the way your post read

Oh my goodness, I didn't mean my post to be AT ALL in a bad way.

What I meant by "cut out" is some people just couldn't handle the sleep deprivation or some of the other constant demands of having children. That's really all I meant. There are people who DO have children who aren't cut out for it!

As for being selfish, someone on this thread in the beginning said they were too selfish to have kids. They loved their freedom, etc... I was simply repeating what someone else had already said.

Apologies for coming across "badly"...

Linda
Courtney 9-5-01
Collin 1-30-06

 

[Liisa]

Obsessedwiththemouse,

I don't mean this in any way as a flame, I'm just very curious. You are obviously a proud mother of two (as am I - mine just have four legs and a tail!) We have wondered numerous times on this thread why a happy parent would even bother reading these posts. Can you shed any light?

And just as a side bar - I happen to think I'd make a great mom. I happened to have a dog that I loved dearly who had all sorts of health problems - to the point where I would sleep on a sleeping bag in my family room so that I could let him in and out all night long on his worst nights. Poor boy finally has some peace, but I would have walked to the moon and back if I could have made him healthy.

Anyway, my real point was just trying to figure out why a happy parent would read this thread...?

Liisa

 

[maddhatir]

EVERYONE I know comments on what a great parent DH would make! (I am not sure if they ever told me that ) However, we chose not to have any kids b/c we just like our freedom- I was probably the one who said I was selfish (and proud of it by the way! )

We have several nieces and nephews and he is more of a worry wort than the parents are He also has so much patience! When we used to babysit when the kids were babies- OMG they would cry and I would almost rip my hair out-- Not him- he would hold them and walk them around until they calmed down. He would tell me to go outside and calm down

I love some of these pics I took of DH with our niece and nephew on our last trip to Disney~ Hope you don't mind the pics!

 

[Liisa]

Hattir,

Love the pics. Your niece and nephew are gorgeous!!! Of course, I've always loved little girls who have curly hair. Makes them so darn cute (too many Shirley Temple movies as a kid, I think).

Oh, and hubby's not too shabby either!

Liisa

 

[maddhatir]

Hattir,

Love the pics. Your niece and nephew are gorgeous!!! Of course, I've always loved little girls who have curly hair. Makes them so darn cute (too many Shirley Temple movies as a kid, I think).

Oh, and hubby's not too shabby either!

Liisa

Thanks Liisa~ I just think those pics capture what he is really like....The other day we were at SILs house an our nephew fell asleep on DH's chest- He was a bit miffed when mom tried to bring him up to bed- so she left him there for a while longer!

I have one more pic that I absolutely LOVE!

 

[Hixski]

Madd....the pictures of the kids are really cute. Oh, DH too!!!