marcia's journal (comments welcome!)

[marsh0013]

sharon, thanks! i am really determined to stick to this no eating after 9pm thing. i know you've got my back on it, and i've got yours too! hehe, we're like no eating at night buddies (wow, did that sound valley girl or what? hehe, oh well! ). and this morning went very well. it seems that this wake and funeral was more a celebration of life than a mourning of death. it was very refreshing. of course there were tears, but i don't know, it was just very uplifting as well.

satine - hi , thanks for stopping by

ok, totally random but i avhe to do it. "gotta remember, always remember, gotta remember, i'm forever your girl". paula abdul is on teh voicemail music that gets blared through our office. i'm just cracking up. i remember when this song first came out. i was little. and i loved it. alright, enough of that

food wise today has been very odd. breakfast went as planned. last night, i packed myself a snack to eat on the way home fromt eh funeral, and a lunch to eat once i got back to work. i ate the nuts in the car, and when we stopped at a diner, i resisted diner food while my dad had a breakfast sandwich i ate my 1 point muffin. but when we got here to work, i wasn't really hungry. then i walked into the kitchen and there were donuts because it's someone's birthday (helllllo, my office is evil!). so i had one. there's 5 points. about an hour later. another one. 5 more points. so that was lunch. not a big deal. definitely not healthy, but it was what i felt like eating. i am about to eat my yogurt with all bran and cup of carrots (gotta get those milk and veggies in, and the cereal will keep me full through my workout). and for dinner i'll have what i had planned for lunch. well, actually, i planned a wrap of chicken and lots of veggies for lunch, but i think i'm gonna nix the wrap and just make it a big salad with the chicken. save me 3 points there, adn i've definitely bulked up enough on the carbs today with the donuts .

so we can see why i feel the need to push it a little extra on the exercise today. i'm not allowing myself to run, because it's a planned rest day. but i'll be hitting the elliptical, and doing some walking on the treadmill (as long as i can control myself and not bump up the speed to a run).

here's my food so far:

b: hot cocoa w/skim + banana + slice wheat + 1.5 tbsp pb = 8
s: 7 whole almonds + fiber muffin = 2
l: 2 donuts = 10
s: columbo light + 1/2 cup all bran + 1 cup carrots = 2

and dinner will be 3 oz chicken + lettuce + peppers + cucumbers + 2 tbsp ff italian = 2.5

that'll put me at 24.5 for the day. i'm going to get at least 5 aps, maybe more depending on the time i spend on each machine. and maybe i'll do my pilates dvd when i get home too. not sure. i'll come back later and update. gotta go eat that snack now, my tummy wants it

 

[DavidandDenise]

Hey, don't beat yourself up about the donuts! There is always way too much junk food at school too. I shared a donut yesterday and I actually said, "sure, I'll share with you b/c that will keep me from having a whole one."! I know my weeknesses. My problem is I have my real lunch on top of that. I hope you didn't push it too hard last night, a real rest day is important. Do you ever just take a day off or a day just to lift? Don't run youself into the ground--I just worry! I hope you are having a good weekend and you're taking it easy. TTYL.

BTW, your message in my journal cracked me up! And don't worry, my journal can be about US!!

 

[CourtasanSatine]

don't beat yourself up too badly and here's a

 

[marsh0013]

hey guys, i know i've been mia since friday night. at about 9pm, i started talking to my cousin on im. she's about to turn 18 years old in march, and she has a major eating disorder. she just got out of the hospital a week ago, and she had been in there for a month. but she is in recovery now. anyway, so we were talking, and she says what are your plans for tomorrow. so i told her, just to go to the gym when i woke up, but other than that, nothing. so she says "do you want to come over and sleep over, and we can workout together tomorrow?" oh of course i do! how can you say no? i love this kid so much, and i want to do anything i can to help her get better. i am so glad i did. she is really doing better, i can see a large change in her. aw, i'm getting all teary eyed just thinking about it.

anyway, so since she's recovering, her eating patterns are very set. she has her meals planned, snacks, all that stuff. her and her family do not know i'm doing ww, and i feel bad being like, i can't eat that because i'm on a diet in front of someone who's recovering from an ed, and her family. so anyway, she eats a snack at about 10:30pm. and it's like a family activity. to eat with her is to support her, know what i mean? it's like a big deal for her that you eat with her. so there was no way i was going to say, no i'm sorry, i don't eat after 9pm. no way. (and i had even already eaten up all my points for the day. but i had to make an allowance for this). so she asks me what i want to eat for snack, like what i usually have for snacks. i told her i like veggies, fruits, sometimes yogurt. and her face lit up! she says "i'm having yogurt! why don't you have yogurt too?!" aw, she's so adorable. so i had a yogurt. a full fat, not light version yogurt. and she doesn't eat her yogurt plain. she put half a cup of smart start cereal mixed in, and so did i. and we had decaf coffee with milk (2%) and sugar (they have no 0-cal sweeteners).

so i had a very high point "snack" at about 10:30pm. but you know what? her recovery is so much more important to me. i entered that food into my points tracker, and of course it put me over flex for the week, but that doesn't matter. i am still counting that as a cheat free day. like i said, she is so much more important to me than staying within my points. it's not like i went and binged on ice cream and cookies or something. i'm not even saying this to justify it to myself, or to defend myself. i really do believe this. and i'm so glad i could be there for her

so we ended up staying up till 2am (she has trouble sleeping) and i was woken up at 8am because i slept on the pull out couch in teh living room, and the 6 and 9 year old kiddies came down at that time to watch tv. oh well. i'll make up for it tonight (hopefully). so i ate breakfast and lunch at their house yesterday too. not really friendly foods available, but i did the best i could. toast for breakfast, and my aunt made english muffin pizzas for lunch. went clothes shopping with my cousin too, because she needed clothes that fit. that was a 2 hour task in loehman's! i've never spent that much time in one store! but it was fun and well worth it. left their house around 4, popped a pria bar, and headed straight to the gym to get my run in. then got home and went out to dinner with the fam. then caught up with an old friend and rented a movie.

phew. i feel like i've been running non-stop! and i'm about to head out to the gym to get my long run in. i'm never going to make it back in time to see the beginning of the nhl all-star game at 3. oh well. i'll hopefully catch at least the last period.

oh yeah, so saturday is my normal weigh in day, but since iw asn't here, i did'tn get to. so i'm not going to record an official weight for last week. i did weigh myself this morning instead, and got 131.5 (1 pound loss!), but i'm not counting it. i'll just see what i'm at next week

i'm gonna get moving to the gym, i will come back and post the details of my eating once i get back. once again, i'm sorry for such a long entry. i really do use this as more than just a food/exercise journal. it's a great place for me to get out all sorts of other stuff, and i appreciate you guys for letting me do it

 

[DavidandDenise]

I'm so glad you are able to be there for your cousin. She can really use a strong support like you, who I'm sure she looks up to! I think you did the right thing and that you are doing the right thing not sweating it--she's lucky to have you. I hope her road to recovery continues to be a successful one. I hope you're having a good run right now; I'll check in on you later!

 

[honeymo78]

You definitely didn't cheat even though you went over your points. You certainly made the right choice by eating with your cousin and supporting her when she really needs it. I hope you had a great weekend and that 1lb loss gets bigger for next week.

 

[sharoncity]

Hey Marsh - Definitely cheat free! As you said, your support of your cousin is SO much more important. And good for you for recognizing that. We all have little obstacles as we go along. As long as we don't use them as excuses to give up altogether, then everything is fine.
Hope you had a good run today and the rest of your day was fine.
TTFN-
Sharon

 

[marsh0013]

denise, steph, and sharon, thank you guys so much . i know i did the right thing, but your support of me (while i'm supporting her) is so great to have

i want to get to bed early, so i'm just going to post my menus for the past few days. i'll get to everyone's journals at work in the morning.

friday
b: slice wheat + 1.5 tbsp pb + med banana + hot cocoa w/skim =8
s: 7 almonds + fiber muffin = 2
l: 2 donuts = 10
s: columbo light yogurt + 1/2 cup all bran = 2
s: 10 m&ms = 1
d: whole wheat wrap + 3 oz chicken + cucumbers + peppers + 2 tbsp ff italian + 1 cup carrots = 5.5
s: columbo yogurt + 1/2 cup smart start + coffee + 2% milk + sugar = 7.5 (this is the non-counting snack)

total (without snack) = 28.5 (target - 20, aps - 7, flex - 1.5) [a couple flex left over i think...it won't show up now in my online journal because it's a new week)

[new ww week]
saturday
b: 2 slices cinnamon raisin toast + coffee + 2% milk + sugar = 4
l: english muffin pizzas - 1 english muffin + 1/4 cup pizza sauce + 1/2 cup part skim mozz = 6.5
pre run: pria bar = 2
post run: hot cocoa w/skim + 1 cup carrots = 2
d: (out to italian) cup broth w/noodles + salad + 2 large shrimp (no sauce) + 1/2 cup crabmeat (no sauce) + 1 cup broccoli = 3.5
dessert: (same restaurant) strawberries + blueberries + whipped cream + decaf coffee w/amaretto and whipped cream = 3.5
s: 2 yodels (movie w/my friend) = 7

total: 28.5 (target - 20, ap - 4, flex - 4.5) [30.5 flex left]


sunday
b: 1/2 cup uncooked oatmeal + 2 tsp splenda + 1/4 cup skim + med banana = 4.5
s: coffee + 1/4 cup skim + 2 tsp splenda = .5
post run: hot cocoa w/skim = 2
l: slice wheat toast + 1.5 tbsp pb + 1 tbsp strawberry jam + 1 cup carrots = 5.5
s: small nestle turtle candy = 1
d: (out to mexican) half small quesadilla + shrimp fajitas + small fried banana dessert = 17
dessert: (girls night!) 1 cup light ice cream + 1 tbsp hot fudge + reese's pieces + whipped cream = 8

total: 38.5 (target - 20, aps - 8, flex - 10.5) [20 flex left]


ok, gonna go plan out tomorrow and head to bed. the end of another cheat free day . that's 7 in february so far. not too bad

gnite everyone! i'll check in with your journals in the morning!

 

[CourtasanSatine]

I also call it cheat free,supporting your cousin does mean more

 

[ZerasPride]

Hi Marcia,

I have tears in my eyes as I type this response. Your cousin is so fortunate to have you in her life. I hope she has a speedy and complete recovery. I agree with everyone else, I don't feel you cheated at all. In fact, give yourself 10 extra "brownie" points for being such a sweet and compassionate person.

Congrats on the 1 pound loss! Your exercise program is so inspiring to me. Keep up the great work! I will check back with you later in the week.

 

[Strings]

Marcia, you've shown that again you put your family first. You certainly did the right thing. Great job on losing that pound. Even if it doesn't count yet. I hope you have a good Monday.

Beth

 

[lulu201]

Marcia, you're such a sweetie. You know that, don't you? You're always so friendly and supportive here on the WISH, it doesn't surprise me that you're willing to help your cousin. She's lucky to have you. You seem to have such a loving, close family. That's so nice.

Marcia, you're doing fantastic! Just think if you lost a pound a week for the next 2 months. You'd be at or PAST your goal! Just keep doing what you're doing and you're going to get the results you want. It's a day by day, pound by pound, onward and downward kind of thing!

Here's some sunshine to keep you going this Monday morning.

Take care,
Erin

 

[marsh0013]

satine, lisa, beth, erin (along with denise, steph, and sharon who posted above and anyone else i missed!), thank you guys so much. i feel like there's a big wish hug all around me . you guys are bringing tears to my eyes . your support means the world to me, i feel like i am so lucky. makes it that much easier to stick to my plan and keep going onward and downward


so on to today. i will stick to my target points of 20 today. taking a day totally off from exercise. i need to catch up on rest, and sleep most importantly. i may work a little late, but i will work no later than 6:30pm. i have to tell myself that now, or i will get sucked into staying longer because i need the money. but i need to worry about my body today. i will eat my dinner, take a shower, and cuddle up on the couch with my tapes of gilmore girls from last week and the nhl skills competition that my mom taped for me on saturday. then i have this guilty pleasure...real world/road rules challenge. it's on at 10 and i love it. i will go to bed as soon as it is over at 10:30pm.

breakfast was a slice of whole wheat toast w/peanut butter and an apple. and i just ate my snack of 7 almonds and a cup of carrots. lunch will be my mexican leftovers from last night, along with a cup of broccoli. afternoon snack of yogurt w/all bran. dinner will be 2 mini whole wheat pitas w/hummus and loaded w/cucumbers and peppers. add a cup of hot cocoa before bed (gotta get that milk!) and maybe some more veggies somewhere. i'm left with .5 points to work with. let's see...1 cup of strawberries is .5 points, and i know my mom has fresh ones in the fridge, so i think that with ff cool whip sounds like a great dessert . wonderful

i will check back in later in the day to detail it all out. hope everyone has a great day

 

[sharoncity]

Okay Marsh, take care of you today! That is really important so you don't end up under the weather. Glad to see you planned a little TLC and R&R for yourself. And combining that with a very low pts day is an excellent plan. Good for you!
Alright sweetie, get some rest and we'll talk to you soon.
TTFN-
Sharon

 

[Castillo Mom]

Hi Marcia, sorry I haven't come back the last few days. I'm sorry to hear about your friend's illness. As others have said, in this situation you did not cheat!

Looks like you'll be getting some much needed rest tonight. Your plan of cuddling up in front of the TV sounds good and I just may follow suit. Take care Marcia!

 

[marsh0013]

taking a quick break from my r&r to post my food for the day . i wasn't hungry for my afternoon snack, so i ended up eating that for dinner. and didn't eat the pita/hummus/veggie sandwiches. so i have 2 points left over, so i'm having some smart ones ice cream with nesquik syrup

b: slice wheat toast + 1.5 tbsp pb + apple = 5.5
s: 7 almonds + 1 cup carrots = 1
l: shrimp in whole wheat wrap w/peppers + 1 cup broccoli = 4.5
s: slice rye bread w/whipped butter = 2.5
d: columbo light yogurt + 1/2 cup all bran = 2
dessert: 1/2 cup smart ones ice cream + 1 tbsp nesquik syrup + 1 cup strawberries + 2tbsp ff cool whip = 2.5
s: hot cocoa made w/skim = 2

total: 20 (which is target) [20 flex left]

ok, back to my vegging out . i'll check back in tomorrow morning

 

[DavidandDenise]

Hey! That looks like a great day! On target and you got a treat! I hope you thoroughly enjoyed your rest--you deserve it! Funny, first we both have Mexican, then we both take Monday off from exercise! Ha! I hope you are having a wonderful day and fell well rested today--TTYL!

 

[marsh0013]

good morning everyone

denise, hey, i made the same comment about the off day from exercise in your journal! how funny

and even though i did all that resting yesterday and went to bed early, i'm feeling totally wiped out today! i have dark circles under my eyes. well, i've actually had them for a few days, but they're worse today. and multiple people have come up to me and commented that i look real tired, saying stuff like "big night out last night?". and i'm like "no! i went to bed early!". kinda frustrating. i was thinking i might be coming down with something, but other than the tiredness, i don't feel sick at all. no stuffy nose, no throat ache, nothing like that. and then it hit me. TOM should be coming any day now. so i'm really hoping that's what it is. i guess we'll see over the next few days

so i'm feeling sluggish today. kinda glad it's a short run day (only 3 miles), and i'm going to take those easy. i'll get to bed early again, and hopefully won't feel worse tomorrow. i'm going to expect to feel no better tomorrow (if this really is TOM coming), but i just hope to not feel worse.

food so far -

b: wheat toast + 1 tbsp pb + cup skim milk w/vanilla and splenda = 7

snack will be carrots, lunch a wrap w/chicken, cucumber, and peppers, afternoon snack pria bar, dinner tuna melt. that puts me at 23.5 for the day (20 target, 4 aps). may eat the other .5 in strawberries again. we'll see

gotta get to work now, i actually have stuff to do today!

 

[honeymo78]

Marcia. I hope you don't feel any worse tomorrow. I know what you mean about being tired and having dark circles. No matter how much sleep I get I have permanent dark circles it seems. Sometimes they are the only reason I put on makeup in the morning. They say getting healthier will help you sleep better - well I really hope so. Take it easy today - just like I needed a nap yesterday you might need some rest today.

 

[marsh0013]

thanks steph, i'm feeling better after my run. that usually helps to wake me up . sometimes i wish i wore makeup (to cover up the dark circles), but i hate it! i use chapstick and face moisturizer, and that's the extent of the stuff that goes on my face

quick end of the day check in. plans changed for dinner, mom made soup. i also had a bit of ice cream with lunch. yummy

b: wheat toast + 1 tbsp pb + cup skim milk w/vanilla and splenda = 7
s: 1 cup carrots = 0
l: whole wheat wrap w/4 oz chicken + 1/2 cup cucumbers + 1/2 cup peppers + 2 tbsp ff ital + 3/8 cup breyer's mint choc chip = 9.5
s: pria bar = 2
s: hot cocoa w/skim = 2
d: chicken soup w/2 oz chicken + 1/2 cup brown rice = 4.5

total: 25 (target - 20, aps - 4, flex - 1) [19 flex left]

well, i'm headed out to the diner in a little bit w/my best friend, so i may get something there. i'm thinking a salad though, because i wanted to eat broccoli with my dinner, but my mom was cooking it while i showered, and she forgot about it and it burnt. oh well. or maybe i'll have something else and use a few flex. we'll see! and i'm hoping to get to bed by 10...but my best friend mentioned watching queer eye which is over at 11, so again, we'll see! haha, ok, i'm gonna go now

******** UPDATE ********

didn't go to the diner. friend was too tired. ate 1.75 cups of strawberries w/ .25 cup ff cool whip, and a mini choc turtle candy. soooo...

s: 1.75 cups strawberries + 1/4 cup ff cool whip + mini turtle = 2.5

total: 27.5 (target 20, aps - 4, flex - 3.5) [16.5 flex left]

gonna go roll over the cheat free bear and head to bed!