marcia's journal (comments welcome!)

[R_Judy]

Hi Marcia Sounds to me like you are meeting your goals. Don't change horses in the middle of the race. You won't win that way. You're busy building up muscle and the scale does not know that. You told us your clothes fit much better. Remember, you did not have all that much weight to loose in the first place. I'm more jelous of you. It took me a lot longer to figure out the big picture. I wish I only had a little to loose. But that's OK. I am reaching one goal at a time. Besides, you WILL make goal ahead of many of us. Stick to it and give yourself a big pat on the back. Oh, and have a terrific weekend.

 

[Castillo Mom]

Hi Marcia, just catching up on journal. Way to go on staying away from that yucky bread! I know how tempting it can be when people bring goodies to the office. I try to stay away from our lounge.

Congratulations on losing those 3 pounds! Woohoo! Keep up the good work and you'll be at goal in no time. Take care!

 

[Desiree]

Uggh I cannot resist the temptation of peeking at the scale. I need to hide it or something.

I just wanted to wish you a healthy and happy Sunday today! You seem to be attaining all of your goals!

 

[sharoncity]

Okay Marcia, seems like you and I are in the same boat! 2 months later and you are up 2 lbs, but clothes are fitting better?! Don't you just HATE these mixed signals?! My scale is pretty much stuck for the last 6 or 7 weeks. Yes, I'm down about 7 lbs from Jan 1, but that's not much considering where I need to go. My clothes are a tiny bit better, but they are still size 12 or 14s! I want size 10s to be comfortable. I'd love some 8s, but I'll settle for 10s being a tinsy bit loose!
Anyhow, my point really is, we are both making better, healthier choices. My DH took the kids out to breakfast again this AM. I didn't go because it is too much temptation for me. That is a good healthy choice on my part! And your food and exercise have been good healthy choices. Concentrate on that and ignore the scale. For heavens sake, no one snuck in and made your darn pants bigger, did they? So obliviously you are changing the shape of your body. Go with that - it is concrete evidence. (Just not in a number format! )
Keep doing what your doing Marcia! It is working and look at you running 7, 8 miles!! You are gonna be SO ready for this marathon!
Hope the melts some of that yucky white stuff for you! Take good care of you!
TTFN-
Sharon

 

[marsh0013]

hey everybody

thank you all for reinforcing what i know is true, and just being there to encourage and support me. it really helps to know that all of you have my back . i think this next month is going to be really hard to stay motivated without having to answer to the scale, but i know i'm going to do it. i really am going to just focus on how healthy i am being, how much i'm being good to my body, and i know it will respond in its own time.

man, i can't believe it's sunday and i haven't even posted friday's details yet! yesterday i barely had a minute to breathe . started with babysitting, then running, then watching college bball w/my best friend even though i hate it! i ended up getting home around 8:30 and hadn't eaten dinner yet! she said she would eat, but then decided to go to bed early. so yeah, that was kinda stinky. i was okay though, since i had eaten "lunch" at around 4:30 after i ran. craziness. anyway, let's do friday first, then saturday

friday
s: banana = 2
w: run 4.25 mi, walk 1 mi (5 aps)
s: hot cocoa w/skim = 2
b: lc bagel + morningstar pattie + 2% cheese slice = 4
s: 1 cup carrots + 2 tbsp hummus + 1 cup coffee w/1 tbsp skim + splenda = 1
l: 2 slices light wheat + gardenburger original + lettuce + 1 apple + columbo light + 1/2 cup all bran = 6
s: 1/4 cup oatmeal dry + cinnamon + splenda + 1 tbsp skim = 1
d: 4 oz sole + 1/2 cup br rice + 1 cup broccoli = 5
s: 1 rum and diet coke = 2
s: smart ones orange vanilla pop = 1

total: 24

i think i was aiming for 20 plus aps, so i was 1 under. oh well. ended up going shopping to loehman's fri night w/my mom and aunt, then afterward went to a bar to get a drink. shopping depresses me. even though i know my clothes don't fit, i can't seem to find new clothes that i'm happy with. nothing seems to fit right, and it just frustrates me to no end. and then it makes me feel fat, man, it's just a bad thing. maybe i should just stick to old navy because most of their pants fit me okay. because trying new things tends to drive me crazy. i'm weird, i know

okay, let's move on

saturday
b: lc bagel + morningstar pattie + 2% cheese slice + banana = 6
s: dd french vanilla coffee + 1/4 cup skim + splenda + 1/2 choc frosted donut = 2.5
l(1): small pb/banana oatmeal = 3
w: 7.2 mi run, .6 mi walk (8 aps)
s: hot cocoa w/skim = 2
l(2): 3 oz sole + 1/2 cup br rice + 1 cup broccoli = 4
s: 1 cup carrots = 0
d: healthy choice chicken marinara = 5
s: dairy queen small hot fudge sundae = 6

total: 28.5

i didn't really have a specific point number i was aiming for, but i ended up using 20.5 plus 8 aps. since i had thought i was going out to dinner w/my friend, i was planning on using more than 5 points for dinner, but since that fell through, i just had a frozen meal, and decided i wanted ice cream. plenty of points, so why not.

alright, now that we're all caught up, on to today. my family is going out to dinner tonight since we didn't go out last night. we're going for mexican! woo! i've eaten 13.5 points so far today, so i have 6.5 points and 4 aps (ran this am), plus whatever flex i feel like. since i had a "low" points day yesterday before aps, i'm aiming for something around 25 plus aps today. i guess we'll see what i end up eating at the restaurant. whatever strikes my fancy

yay for having some free time this afternoon, i'm going to get to visit journals! right after i fold some laundry

hope everyone has a great day

 

[marsh0013]

hehe, i said ididn't know how dinner would go...well, let's just say today was my super high day . ends up being just about the same as any other high points day, which is good. guess i should try to avoid coffees with cool names...they have lots of points cause of sugary alcohol , but my mom told me to get one cause i was freeeeezing. hehe. that's okay, i usually have a hard time getting enough to fill a high points day, so it works out well . the evening section of my day fills out to 24 points...now that'll help you get a high points day now won't it

anyway, dinner was really good. tomorrow will be a low points day. i'm thinking 22 points. not a problem. i want to get some weights in tomorrow too, since it's an off day from running. may have to stay late at work...hope not. i'll try to walk a mile or so, then do lower body weights. so that's probably about 1 ap or so, add that to the 22. just thinking out loud here . details for sunday follow.

b: small pb/banana oatmeal = 3
w: run 3.25 mi, walk .75 mi (4 aps)
s: hot cocoa w/skim + banana = 4
s: 1 cup coffee + 1/4 cup skim + splenda + 1 small pillsbury cinnamon roll = 3.5
l: 2 small wheat pitas + 2 tbsp hummus + 1/2 cup red peppers + 1 cup carrots = 3
d: 5 tortilla chips w/salsa + salad w/fork dipped in dressing + shrimp fajitas (6 shrimp + green peppers + 3 sm flour tortillas) + 3/4 cup mexican rice + coffee w/creme de menthe and whipped cream = 24

total: 37.5

so that's 33.5 points + 4 aps. a normal high points day would be 35 points plus aps, so that's pretty much right on track. so like i said, tomorrow will be low, then i'll go medium, then back and forth again. not going to have specific numbers in mind, i'll just keep an eye on the flex total on ww online, and it'll all work out just fine . sweet. i'm pleased.

the kitchen is closed . i probably couldn't eat anymore if i tried anyway, since i ate so much for dinner! okay i'm done for now, gonna go relax and head to bed. gnite everyone!

 

[R_Judy]

Just wanted to stop by and wish you a day today. Hope it is another good one for you.

 

[vald1977]

Hi Marcia,
That dinner last night sounds yummy . And you were able to work it into your points which is even better. I really like your idea of putting that scale away for a month and just concentrating on healthy living without the scale's pressure. Don't let that evil thing get you down. Your clothes are definitely telling you that you are doing a wonderful job. Hope today is fantastic for you !

 

[toystoryduo]

Hey Marcia!
Hope you have a great day today full of ! You are doing a great job with running and with your points! Keep up the good work!

Like Val, I like your idea of putting the scale away for a month and concentrating on healthy living. I try to avoid the scale as much as I can because I know that I will get discouraged if I am not down to a weight I think I should be at. (As I say this, I know that if I go to the doctor on Thursday, I will be weighed for the second time this month and I am more than a little nervous about that.) You're eating healthier, running and exercising, and your clothes are looser. That adds up to WISH success in my book! You are doing a fabulous job with or without the scale! And you are such an inspiration to us all!!!

Have a great day today Marcia!!

Tracy

 

[luvmy2sams]

Hi Marcia!

I just got caught up with your journal. Sorry that I was such a no-show last week!

I really liked the pep talk you gave yourself. It made me feel better, too! You've got a great attitude, and I admire you for putting that evil scale away. You are absolutely correct that the numbers are not what's important. When you get frustrated, just remember how much better you feel now that you're taking care of yourself. You're doing a marvelous job!

Hope that you have a great day!

~Angela

 

[sharoncity]

Marcia- don't worry about the new clothes and the way they fit. If Old Navy clothes fit, then stick with them. I have no idea who fits in some of these styles, but I can tell you, my body wasn't designed for low rider jeans! I can't find a pair of jeans that fir right, but what are ya gonna do???!!!
Keep up the good work Marcia! You are living much healthier than you were when you started this journey. That is a good thing and what you should focus on. The rest will all fall in to place I'm sure.
Hope you had a great Monday! Tomorrow is AI!!
TTFN-
Sharon

 

[cinmell]

Hi Marcia I've been reading back on your journal (I'm not very good at popping and and saying HI to my fellow WISHers but I'm working on it ) and I must say that I really admire your positive attitude and determination. I know what you mean about wanting to give up the scale for a while. I want to do that too but I find myself stepping on it every week. I think it's a habbit from when I used to go to WW meetings but now I do it on my own.

I also think it's a good idea to have your points range from day to day instead of being the same every day (low day, moderate day then high day, etc). You are doing great, keep up the wonderful work!

I hope you have a great day.

 

[lulu201]

Good morning, you healthy girl--how are you doing?
I've been catching up a little on your journal, and I wanted to add my two cents to your scale discussion.

First of all, way to go on putting the darn thing away! Who cares what it says? The only problem with putting it away is--are you going to get your hopes all up for a big loss when you do pull it out and look? Will you be able to keep in mind that you might have lost 3 lbs., but because you had a slice of pizza the night before weigh-in, the scale shows zero loss??

I've chosen a different route for myself. I weigh myself every morning. The scale fluctuates so much for me from one day to the next that weighing in every day helps me to see the big picture in a better way (weird, huh?). I can see that eating at Ruby Tuesday--even if I'm within my points--will put me up a pound the next morning and then I'm happy to see the little whoosh a day or two later. I used to get all wired up for my weekly WW weigh in and then be crushed if the scale didn't cooperate.

My point in my cents is this: everybody's got to do what's right for them scale-wise, keeping in mind the bottom line--it's really never about a number. It's about how we feel about ourselves and how we treat ourselves. Choosing a healthy lifestyle shows we value ourselves, and you're so fortunate, Marcia, to be learning all this at such a young age. Treat yourself right every day and then you're a winner!

Go, Marcia, go Marcia, go Marcia, GOOOOOO! (That's "go," not "goo" )

Keep on keeping on!

Erin

 

[marsh0013]

alright, i come and i see everyone has left me such positive messages, about how positive i've been, and how great i've been doing, and i have to come here and report a baaaaad day.

yesterday was just the longest day, i had to stay at work till 8:45, nothing like eating dinner at 9pm . no workout either. and i could have been a good girl and packed my dinner, but i knew my mom was cooking, and she always says that whenever she cooks, none of us are there to eat it, so i felt bad, and i tried to hold out. just ended up snacking a bit more before dinner, then had my breakdown afterward

i'm just so frustrated with everything right now. i get easily overwhelmed, in situations where normal people wouldn't. i just feel like i have so much to get done, and i have a hard time breaking it down into little steps, i just see the whole big picture, and it's not pretty. my job sucks, i hate having to stay late, and i have to do it again tonight and probably tomorrow night. at least i'm prepared with food today. lunch, dinner, and snacks are all in the fridge. and i told my boss that since i knwo i have to stay late, i'm taking an extra long lunch today so i can run then. no way i was waking up this morning to get it in. man, i'm sitting here feeling tears starting to well up in my eyes because i'm just feeling that helpless right now. i don't really know what's going on with me, but it's scaring the heck out of me. and then i know i didn't get to journals yesterday, and i can't bring myself to do it today. i'm just in such a nasty mood that i can't do it. i know i have to cut myself some slack with the journals, i just feel really bad because i want to be there for you guys. maybe i'll just read them and if anythign particularly strikes me i'll respond. oh i don't know.

anyway, here's yesterday, my second cheat day of the month. i was trying to have a 22 point day. yeah, that didn't happen. i would've been at 24 had i not had my little binge anyway. it's not like i totally blew my flex points, i still have 7.5 left for the week, but i was just in "i need to eat lots of crap" mode last night. if it was controlled, i wouldn't count it as a cheat, but i just lost it, and i don't like that feeling.

monday
b: 2 lf nutrigrain waffles + 1 banana + 6 walnut halves + 1/4 cup sf syrup = 6
s: columbo light + 1/2 cup all bran = 2
l: healthy choice chicken teriyaki + 1 apple = 6
s: 1/4 cup dry oatmeal + cinn + splenda + coffee + 1/4 cup skim = 1.5
s: packet mini gummi savers + goldfish = 4
d: 3 oz chicken + 1 cup broccoli + 1/2 cup smart start soy + 1/4 cup skim = 4.5
s: mini kit kat + 1 tsp pb + 2 rf apple cinn gs cookies + 1/2 cup breyer's vanilla ice cream + 1 tsp nesquik syrup = 9.5

total: 33.5 (20 + 13.5 flex)


so for the next few days (tues-thurs), i will be doing 20 points plus aps, since i earn 4-5 each day running. not sure about friday.

erin, i know you asked me about the weighing thing, and no, i'm not expecting to see a large loss at the end of the month. it's just to get me from focusing on the scale, because at this point, i don't really expect it to move much.

i think i have a dessert issue. let me try to explain. i feel like i need to save points for after dinner every night, just in case. like, i feel like i need to have dessert, and i don't like that. i never used to eat dessert every night, why should i now?? i need to start planning most of my days to use up my points and be done with dinner, saving dessert for once in a while.

and i came into work today, and heard my dad's secretary saying that she's on the "special k diet". ***. not that i should talk, being one of the smaller ones trying to "lose weight", but she's about 5 foot nothing, size 0-2. she says she gained 7 pounds quitting smoking, and she wants to "lose it fast". so she's eating special k for breakfast and lunch every day. well duh, if you eat so little, of course you'll lose weight. just seems kinda dumb to me. but whatever. she's a grown woman, she can make her own decisions.

wow, this post was all over the place. sorry bout that. maybe i'll feel better after i get my run in today, and i can be in a better mood later. i hope so.

 

[Strings]

Oh Marcia,

I'm not sure what to say. You sound overwhelmed. I speak for EVERYONE when I say,"DO NOT WORRY ABOUT OUR JOURNALS." You are required to work , and I would much rather see you devote your time to work, so you can get out of there ASAP. We know you are thinking about us, don't worry about us. We'll still be here when you have the time to get back to journalling.

I proud of you for going on your run at lunch. I think the endorphins will help you feel better, and you will have accomplished something good for yourself. One thing off the list. You have your food planned and available. Another good thing.

Marcia, you do not have to be cheerful and positive everyday. Lord knows I rarely am. This is YOUR journal. Use it to get your feelings out, and we will still support you.

Yesterday is over. Yes, it sucked. Today is a new day. Try to enjoy the while you run. It will be a long day, but you are well prepared for that. I know you can make it through this today. I'm sending some and for you.

,
Beth

Sorry if I was lecturing. I care about you.

 

[sharoncity]

for you Marcia! I know EXACTLY how you feel! I think we've all been there at some point. Remember about 2 months back, i set my goal of no eating after 7 PM? Well, that has somehow slowly crept back into my routine. And now I'm having "legal" snacks, but past 7 PM. It is a mental thing. We need to get past this snack in the evening thing. It takes a couple of hard won battles, but then it gets easier. Lets get back to what worked for us Marcia. Go back online and review the weeks where you felt good or had success. What did you do/eat those weeks? Go back to that.
The rest of it is a mental thing. I think, for me personally, once it warms up and gets , a lot of this mental C**P will go away for me. When the sun shines on my arm while I'm driving, I seriously feel a chemical release in my body. Its cazy I know, but I really need spring to arrive!! Try to focus on the short term. Be happy all this overtime is now, not when the weather will be really nice. Hopefully, work will settle down in the next 3 or 4 weeks. Think about the clothes from Old Navy you can buy with some of your extra cash!
Above all, just remember, we are here for you Marcia. Take some time to appreciate where you've come in the last 10 weeks. the rest will fall back into place eventually.
from all of us. Take good care of you!
TTFN-
Sharon

 

[vald1977]

to you my friend. I'm sorry you had such a bad day yesterday. If it makes you feel any better, I also tend to feel way stressed when my life gets hectic. I know lots of people who plan stuff everyday of the week and are happy with that but it makes me feel overloaded when I don't get any downtime. It sounds like you are starting to feel the same way with these late nights at work. Just try and cocentrate on when you will get some time to yourself and try to think of that when you start to feel down. I actually canceled out on a sorority function last Sat. night because I was starting to feel like you do. Instead of going out, I just stayed home and watched movies with my dh. It felt great!

It doesn't always work but what I do about the dessert issue is try to wait awhile after dinner and see if I still feel like I need the dessert. Often right after I eat I feel like I need something sweet but if I just wait an hour or so after dinner, the urge goes away and I don't miss not having it.

I also want to reiterate what Beth said about not worrying about getting to journals. We know you are thinking of us even when you don't have time to post. I am really glad to hear you are going to get to run at lunch since I'm sure that will help you feel better. Take care, Marcia. I'll be thinking of you .

 

[marsh0013]

thanks guys, i'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel...i told my boss i can't stay late tomorrow. i just can't handle another unbelievably long day. i'll be running outside after work, that way, once i'm gone, i'm gone and i can't get sucked into staying later again.

another busy day at work, so i'll be mia again, but at least it will be ending at 5. then hopefully back to normal on thursday. i can hope

anyway, i'm trying to be short tonight, i jsut want to go relax for the last little bit of ai. here's the details from today

b: pb/banana oatmeal = 5
s: mini pretzels + pria bar = 3
w: run 4.25 mi, walk .5 mi (5 aps)
s: hot cocoa w/skim = 2
l: 3 oz chicken + 7 oz baked potato + 2% cheese slice = 6.5
s: apple = 1
d: lc bagel + 2 tbsp pb + 1 tbsp sf preserves = 6.5
s: 1/2 cup blueberries + 1 cup strawberries = 1

total: 25

goal was 20 + 5 aps, so that's good. tomorrow will be 20 + 4 aps. gonna go roll my bear and relax a bit before bed. i'm thinking about you all, even though i haven't had the chance to stop by your journals

 

[R_Judy]

Whew Marcia! I need to take lessons from you on how to say no. I worked 14 hours yesterday. It's really starting to take it's toll on my body. Take care of you. Oh, and . We are half way to Friday!

 

[vald1977]

Hey Marcia,
I'm glad you won't be staying late tonight. Now you can watch AI and see who gets kicked to the curb tonight ! Hope you have a wonderful day !