Loud kid at Wall-E matinee

[Pete's Mom]

Matinees are not just for parents with kids who don't know how to behave. They are for everyone who wants to go and watch a movie. Personally, I go to matinees bec I refuse to pay $10 just because it's after 4pm for what might not be worth the money these days. Watching a movie in a theater comes with certain distractions built in, but constantly hearing a normal-toned kid's voice talking is not one of them.

But THANK YOU for taking your child out and being considerate enough to do so rather than encouraging the child to get even worse as I have seen happen.

Ditto!

 

[Lilogirl]

Just to clear things up a bit (and by the way, I'm the OP and I'm not a "her") the second father to speak with me was probably with the first father. Their kids were sitting right next to each other and in sparse matinee crowd, that tells me they were together. So one guy said something to me, then a little while later, his friend said something to me. So if I initially thought one guy was being unreasonable it wouldn't be surprising that his friend would be unreasonable too.
But, as I've said, after thinking about it, I decided leaving was the best thing to do, regardless of whether they were being unreasonable or I was. And as I walked out, I wondered if the woman behind me would be asked to leave next. Maybe she was able to use us as an example to her kids.
And one more thing thats bothering me is multiple people have said that a movie theater is the wrong place to teach your kids self control. I didn't take my daughter to the movie theater to try to teach my daughter to behave, at the expense of everybody else. I took my daughter to the G-rated matinee because I incorrectly thought it was a perfectly appropriate place for a talkative 2.5 year old.

Why would you think a MOVIE theater was appropriate for a talkative 2.5 year old?

 

[java]

I took my daughter to the G-rated matinee because I incorrectly thought it was a perfectly appropriate place for a talkative 2.5 year old.

Um nope. Sorry Rob but I have 4 children. 3,5,11 and 14. I have left several G rated movies in my day. If they are not being quiet it isn't fair to everyone else in the movie. They all paid to be there. Some probably even paid for a babysitter to watch their younger kids. If you can't be quiet you don't belong at a movie theater regardless of what is being shown. G rated or not. It's a movie theater not home. All the cute questions she was asking were not cute to everyone around you.

 

[CraftyMouse]

Don't be sorry. I DID ask because I'm looking for honest opinions. Believe it or not, despite my tendancy to ruffle feathers on these boards, I'm actually very considerate of other people, especially in situations like this. And that's why I'm asking, because I genuinely thought that was normal for a matinee, so I'm looking forward to hear from more people, whether they agree with you or with me.
And I wasn't using that situation to "teach" my daughter, like I said, I thought it was understood that kids would talk in matinees. Which is why I suggested he talk to a manager; I figured the manager would back me up. Llike I said, I left after the second guy talked to me about it, but I'm still not 100% sure that I should have. Although it looks like everybody here feels the same way, so I guess maybe I was wrong about matinees.

Part of going to the movies is being quiet and respectful of others. If a child is not yet able to do/understand this then he/she is too young to go to the movies.

My DD was able to remain quiet during a movie from 2 on, so we took her. DS, on the other hand, was a couple of years older when he started going to the movies because he simply asked too many questions. Everyone in that theater pays for their ticket and shouldn't be inconvenienced/annoyed by a child that is not able to remain quiet, including my own. When he was able to handle the responsibility of being a movie-goer he was allowed to go to the movies.

 

[bumbershoot]

BostonRob, I don't think you're totally in the wrong OR right here.

First, Wall E isn't a children's movie; in my opinion NO Pixar movie is a kid's movie. They make movies, good movies, for everyone. Not just kids. Especially with the deep themes of Wall E!


This summer some local theaters have been having 10am FREE matinees for people with kids (yay) and we've gone to a few of them (Bee Movie and Surf's Up, twice each) so we've had a lot of practice and we've seen a lot of other kids at movies! And while there I've had the occasion to see families like yours, with an older child who is used to movies (I assume) and old enough, with a little one. Many parents of just one 2.5 would never think to take them to see a movie, Wall E or otherwise. But when you add that older kiddo into the mix, it gets complicated! Some too-young kids get taken places that don't work for them, b/c the older one doesn't want to just do baby things, and no one wants to just sit at home.

When we saw WallE we saw plenty of those familes! Little ones who wouldn't be there if they didn't have older sibs. And in general, those little ones really couldn't control themselves. And because WallE has very little dialogue (though lots of wonderful noises), it's harder to follow for little ones, and more questions are going to be asked (even my 4 year old was asking too many questions...luckily we were NOT the only ones with chatty kids in that theater). And since she's 2, she can't get the "quieter" concept that an older one can.

I bet that very few other families there cared about your kiddo, especially if there were others talking. Perhaps those dads couldn't hear what was going on above? Perhaps they thought it was all coming from you? I don't know. It might also have been *your* voice talking to the little one, since obviously male voices are different, and can be heard in different amounts, and perhaps they could hear your voice more than they could hear the mom's voice behind you. I personally would be more bothered by a woman's voice than a man's, but my hearing is weird.

I'm sorry you left. I wish you had just moved, to try your luck with different seat mates.

 

[bookgirl]

I'm curious to hear what people think.

I took my 5 yo and my 2.5 yo to the 11:15 matinee of Wall-E. The 2.5 yo was a little loud. She wasn't crying or screaming or anything like that, she was just asking questions or making statements about the movie (Oh, the buggy's leaving. Is that a robot? - stuff like that). She was using a regular voice, but her regular voice is loud for a movie theater. I kept asking her to be quiet or to wisper, but she's 2.5, so it wasn't working. After about 10 minutes another dad of an older kid asked me to keep her quite. 5 or 10 minutes later, another dad told me I had to do something. I asked him what he expected at a matinee. He said that my daughter was bothering everybody. I told him if that was the case he should get a manager; and asked him again what he expected at a matinee. Then he suggested that she was too young for the movies.

I honestly didn't know who was right. When I go to a rated G matinee, I expect to hear a lot of kids talking. But maybe I' just have lower expectations or maybe I'm just tolerant. When he suggested that she was too young to go to a movie, I thought that maybe he was right, because I had never considered it. So I took the kids and left. The 5 yo was pretty disapointed and I felt bad for her. My gut still tells me that those two dads were out of line and that kids asking questions is normal behavior for a disney mattinee, but maybe I'm wrong. What do you all think?

Even at an early show a certain amount of quiet is expected, even paying a smaller entry fee entitles you to be able to hear the movie. If your child does not understand using a "quiet" voice, and can not be quiet for a adaquate length of time, then it is probably inappropriate to take them into a public movie theatre.

I would have gotten a manager, if I had asked someone to be quiet and was given attitude back that my entry fee did not entitle me to a movie that was audible above the noise of other customers.

Sorry I think you're wrong in this case.

Editing to add: I do expect a certain amount of "noise" at a kids movie, but if it's continually loud and repetitive than it's a bit much. No matter what time or rating.

 

[Lovin' Lorne]

It doesn't matter what time of day you're going to the movies. I try to go to the movies whenever it doesn't cost me $10.50 to do so, whatever time of day that might be. If your kids can't sit still or be reasonably quiet, (in-door voices, sitting in their seat without kicking others, running around etc...) then they don't belong there. Of course kids will be kids, and I get that. I think it's adorable when little kids oooh and ahh over the stories that are being told. A little disruption is to be expected. Constant squirming, shouting and talking, however, is a different story.

It's always encouraging to see parents remove their children when they start acting up. Hopefully folks are finally starting to realize that the world doesn't revolve around little Billy or Betty, and we're all in this together.

 

[BostonRob]

Why would you think a MOVIE theater was appropriate for a talkative 2.5 year old?

Pretty sure that's been asked and answered several times. And I'm pretty sure I've acknowledged several times that I was wrong. And I'm pretty sure that several people have agreed with my assumption - a minority, sure, but enough to convince me that even though I was wrong, I'm not completely insane.

 

[dogluva]

Don't be sorry. I DID ask because I'm looking for honest opinions. Believe it or not, despite my tendancy to ruffle feathers on these boards, I'm actually very considerate of other people, especially in situations like this. And that's why I'm asking, because I genuinely thought that was normal for a matinee, so I'm looking forward to hear from more people, whether they agree with you or with me.
And I wasn't using that situation to "teach" my daughter, like I said, I thought it was understood that kids would talk in matinees. Which is why I suggested he talk to a manager; I figured the manager would back me up. Llike I said, I left after the second guy talked to me about it, but I'm still not 100% sure that I should have. Although it looks like everybody here feels the same way, so I guess maybe I was wrong about matinees.

Your daughter would have ruined the movie for my son who has trouble concentrating when there is a lot of noise. Sometimes it can't be helped. However, a 2 year old is not going to remember the movie. A nine year old would. I don't think it is fair to the other parents who are paying a lot to have their children watch a movie. For us, it can get expensive since I have six. I would have been pretty mad.

I think you need to take your five year old alone. I feel bad that he had to leave the movie.

 

[dogluva]

I think you were wrong. It's hard to expect a 2.5 year old to behave in a movie theatre.
I agree with others, just because the movie is during the day, doesn't give your children permission to ruin it for others. Constant talking is annoying during any movie.

The part that gets me about your post is that you asked the other parents what they expected you to do? Is it not understood that parents controll their own children? And if they can't then they take them somewhere more appropriate? (maybe you just used it as a figure of speech?)

Please don't take this as nasty, I'm not intending it that way, but I've come across this alot lately. Someone asks a parent to controll/quiet their child, and the parent sometimes responds. "What do you want me to do? She won't listen/be quiet/sit still?"
Why is it anyone else's problem but the parent's?

I just re-read this post, and while I mean what I'm saying, I realize it sounds nasty/bashing. It is not intended to be that way. Just matter-of-fact. KWIM?

This happened to me at the library during an animal show. Only those over five were allowed to sit on the floor because of the animals. My daughter is five and she sat on my lap on a chair. My boys sat on the floor. One mother sent her two boys, maybe two and three if that up front. They stood up, called to her and walked over my boys. She kept sending them back to the floor. Finally I told her very nicely that the lady said only over five could sit on the floor. She said "What would you like me to do?". I was like, Hello, maybe hold your children or sit in a chair. What kind of question was that? Take them to the back so my kids don't have to have the show ruined! I don't get it sometimes. It is like rules only apply to certain people.

 

[dis ms.]

OP, I think you made the right decision. In light of the circumstances, staying would have been inconsiderate to those around you.

Common people the kid is 2.5! Yes, she has every right to go to the movies. Yes she needs to learn to be quiet but so do a lot of the adults I have been in the movies with recently.

Since when is going to the movies a "right?" Going to the movies is a privilege, and that little girl's privilege shouldn't trump the privilege of others who also paid to see the movie.

FWIW, neither the movie's start time nor its rating are relevant. As parents, it's our responsibility to not let our children's behavior impact others, regardless of the time or place. Last year I removed my fit-throwing daughter from a child-themed restaurant at lunchtime. She and I ate in our van while DH and DS stayed in the restaurant. Should I have let her stay and disrupt people because they should expect it, considering the place caters to kids? Uh, no.

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

Your daughter would have ruined the movie for my son who has trouble concentrating when there is a lot of noise. Sometimes it can't be helped. However, a 2 year old is not going to remember the movie. A nine year old would. I don't think it is fair to the other parents who are paying a lot to have their children watch a movie. For us, it can get expensive since I have six. I would have been pretty mad.

I think you need to take your five year old alone. I feel bad that he had to leave the movie.

So a 9 year old has more of a "priviledge" to be at a childrens movie in the middle of the day than a 2 & 1/2 year old?

Ticket prices are the same for each inidividual. The op paid to get in just like you did! Actually he lost out more because he did not get to finish the movie.

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

OP, I think you made the right decision. In light of the circumstances, staying would have been inconsiderate to those around you.



Since when is going to the movies a "right?" Going to the movies is a privilege, and that little girl's privilege shouldn't trump the privilege of others who paid to see the movie.

FWIW, neither the movie's start time nor its rating are relevant. As parents, it's our responsibility to not let our children's behavior impact others, regardless of the time or place. Last year I removed my fit-throwing daughter from a child-themed restaurant at lunchtime. She and I ate in our van while DH and DS stayed in the restaurant. Should I have let her stay and disrupt people because they should expect it, considering the place caters to kids? Uh, no.

I believe I have already corrected myself on the "right issue." Please see my earlier posts for that I feel no need to do it again.

I do believe that the movies rating and time have a great deal of impact. I have state previously on this thread that I do not expect children or infants to be adult adult rated movies on a Friday and Saturday Night. I do expect children to be at childrens movies in the middle of the day!!! Further more I do expect for there to be some noise level. To expect all children to sit through a movie quietly at all times is unreasonable.

In the ops instance there was one group (that contained two dads there together) that complained. No other group approached him. There were also several other children talking in the theater. I strongly feel that he should not have left.

Also in the op's instance the child was talking not throwing a tantrum! Big difference in my opinion. I have never stated that it would have been okay for her to scream and shout and throw herself about in a tantrum. Comparing the two is really comparing apples to oranges.

 

[ZipaDeeDooDah]

Pretty sure that's been asked and answered several times. And I'm pretty sure I've acknowledged several times that I was wrong. And I'm pretty sure that several people have agreed with my assumption - a minority, sure, but enough to convince me that even though I was wrong, I'm not completely insane.

While it is against the popular opinion, I think when you attend a 'matinee', you have to assume that there are going to be noisy children as well as obnoxious teenagers as well as some elderly and middle-aged people. If you don't you are sadly fooling yourselves.

In our community, matinees bring out a whole mixture of people.

Please know that to most of us, it is not a big deal to bring a 2.5-, 3-, or 4-year-old to a G-rated matinee. I might question it if you brought them to anything above a G-rated movie, but please - WALL-E was a G-rated movie!!!

If it was a big deal, and I was an adult, I would make an effort to go to the latest showing. That way there should be no children at that showing.

I have to also respect the fact that you have stuck around to answer the many responses.

 

[dis ms.]

I believe I have already corrected myself on the "right issue." Please see my earlier posts for that I feel no need to do it again.

I do believe that the movies rating and time have a great deal of impact. I have state previously on this thread that I do not expect children or infants to be adult adult rated movies on a Friday and Saturday Night. I do expect children to be at childrens movies in the middle of the day!!! Further more I do expect for there to be some noise level. To expect all children to sit through a movie quietly at all times is unreasonable.

In the ops instance there was one group (that contained two dads there together) that complained. No other group approached him. There were also several other children talking in the theater. I strongly feel that he should not have left.

Also in the op's instance the child was talking not throwing a tantrum! Big difference in my opinion. I have never stated that it would have been okay for her to scream and shout and throw herself about in a tantrum. Comparing the two is really comparing apples to oranges.

I disagree. If anything, it's comparing apples to bigger apples. Whether it's too much loud talking or a tantrum, if it disturbs others around you, it disturbs others. And why does it matter if the two men were together? If one group complains about something my kid is doing, I should blow it off until another group complains?

FTR, I, too, expect children to be at children's movies in the middle of the day. I also expect the parents to quiet--or remove--those children if they're being disruptive (whether they are throwing a tantrum or being loud and overly talkative).

 

[disneyjunkie]

I believe I have already corrected myself on the "right issue." Please see my earlier posts for that I feel no need to do it again.

I do believe that the movies rating and time have a great deal of impact. I have state previously on this thread that I do not expect children or infants to be adult adult rated movies on a Friday and Saturday Night. I do expect children to be at childrens movies in the middle of the day!!! Further more I do expect for there to be some noise level. To expect all children to sit through a movie quietly at all times is unreasonable.

In the ops instance there was one group (that contained two dads there together) that complained. No other group approached him. There were also several other children talking in the theater. I strongly feel that he should not have left.

Also in the op's instance the child was talking not throwing a tantrum! Big difference in my opinion. I have never stated that it would have been okay for her to scream and shout and throw herself about in a tantrum. Comparing the two is really comparing apples to oranges.

My 3rd grade teacher; Sister Angelina; had a motto that she drilled into our heads, "There's a time and place for everything."

If your child wants to talk and play, take them to the park. If your child wants to sit and watch a movie, take them to a theater.

 

[ZipaDeeDooDah]

Especially with the deep themes of Wall E!

How is the deep theme of "Bambi" (circa 1942) different from the deep theme of WALL-E (circa 2008)?

They are both pretty deep, IMHO. And yet children of all ages around the world 'got it.'

 

[Scurvy]

So a 9 year old has more of a "priviledge" to be at a childrens movie in the middle of the day than a 2 & 1/2 year old?

Ticket prices are the same for each inidividual. The op paid to get in just like you did! Actually he lost out more because he did not get to finish the movie.

A well behaved nine year old has more of a right or privilege to be at a childrens movie in the middle of the day than a loud two and a half year old. Behavior is the important issue, not age. I don't think anyone here has suggested that children can be expected to be completely silent during a movie. However. . . I think that everyone at a movie, regardless of age, should be as quiet as possible so they don't interfere with others' enjoyment of the movie. If a child can do that then they deserve the privilege of going to see a movie in a theater. If a child (or adult) can't do that then they should see the movie at home or at a screening intended for louder audiences, where it is stated up front that noise is to be expected.

Whatever your age, whether you are a child or an adult, you don't have the right to disrupt the theater because you can't (or won't) be quiet. In the case of the OP, he did the right thing by leaving once he realized that his expectations were different than those of the other patrons. Hopefully he can find a theater that has screenings intended for talkative people or babies. And given that he was considerate enough to ask if perhaps his expectations were not the norm, I'm sure he will talk to his daughter and she will be a great movie patron before too long.

BostonRob, I hope you aren't feeling attacked just because many of us disagree with your initial expectation of the matinee! I really appreciate that you would try to find out what most people expect when it comes to noise at the theater. . . I know some parents who would have posted instead to complain about the rude people who wouldn't let their child talk during the film. You sound like a great parent!

 

[txSleepingBeauty]

Pretty sure that's been asked and answered several times. And I'm pretty sure I've acknowledged several times that I was wrong. And I'm pretty sure that several people have agreed with my assumption - a minority, sure, but enough to convince me that even though I was wrong, I'm not completely insane.

nope not insane. just asked someone else and they agreed with you too. for me it's not so uch the matinee part, it's the fact that the movie is six weeks old. I would probably say that if you're going to take a 2.5 yr old to a movie that that is the most appropriate time. and I think kids need to be exposed to those kinds of situations to help them learn proper behavior.

 

[MsLeFever]

I haven't yet read all of the replies but just wanted to offer another idea

Drive-ins! I love drive-ins with my kids - it is cheaper, they can talk in the car if they want to and it is just more fun!