Little Kids and peeing in the pool - what would you do?

[OurBigTrip]

Well that is your opinion of police officers. I might be living in Northern Virginia but that does not mean I am a police officer there. You have a low opinion of law enforcement and I wish you well when in need of one with your attitude . You have question everyone who have posted anything that you disagree with. As I said everyone doesn't share your views. We all have our own views so why not leave it as that thank you.

I don't have a low opinion of all law enforcement, just the law enforcement in NOVA.

The OP asked for opinions, and I've offered mine - what's wrong with that?

And I am proud to be a police officer that helped on 9-11-2001.

And that is pertinent to this discussion how?

 

[OurBigTrip]

Make this your signature immediately

I agree - best line of the entire thread!!

 

[Gracefulskinny]

While such behavior is generally frowned upon and from what you have said it sounds as if the children may have needed some discipline, I strongly feel that you were beyond inappropriate to take it in to your hands to discipline someone else child!


There are many problems with what you did.

1} You should have approached the father quietly and politely if it indeed disturbs you that much. It's up to them to do the correcting.

2} You put your own assumptions and judgments on a situation that you don't have an ability to see the whole picture on. You ASSUMED the kid was about 5. I know a lot of kids that are tall for their age and are advanced in some of their development. This causes others to assume the kid is older then they are. It is very possible that the kid was younger then 5 and was in the process of potty training. You never know.



I know this as a parent, if you had done that to MY DAUGHTER words would have been exchanged once my daughter was removed from the situation. I might have even just gone to management and let them deal with you.


Unless the situation is of life and death importance where even a second could mean the difference between tragedy and being alright you should always take it to the parents and not speak to the child.

 

[OurBigTrip]

While such behavior is generally frowned upon and from what you have said it sounds as if the children may have needed some discipline, I strongly feel that you were beyond inappropriate to take it in to your hands to discipline someone else child!


There are many problems with what you did.

1} You should have approached the father quietly and politely if it indeed disturbs you that much. It's up to them to do the correcting.

2} You put your own assumptions and judgments on a situation that you don't have an ability to see the whole picture on. You ASSUMED the kid was about 5. I know a lot of kids that are tall for their age and are advanced in some of their development. This causes others to assume the kid is older then they are. It is very possible that the kid was younger then 5 and was in the process of potty training. You never know.



I know this as a parent, if you had done that to MY DAUGHTER words would have been exchanged once my daughter was removed from the situation. I might have even just gone to management and let them deal with you.


Unless the situation is of life and death importance where even a second could mean the difference between tragedy and being alright you should always take it to the parents and not speak to the child.

Although I would say injury, not just life and death, I agree with you 100%.

I'm betting that the majority of people that are saying it's A-OK to yell at someone else's child would explode if someone brought their child to tears because the child was doing something the non-parent didn't like.

 

[TDC Nala]

They don't close pools for pee - the chlorination is supposed to take care of that. They will close them for poop incidents, so the really little kiddies should be wearing swim diapers.

The thing about the mother allowing her kids to run around a restaurant and take food off of other party's plates...yikes.

 

[brymolmom]

OMG - Haven't read all posts here but....I am 41 years old and obviously am very niave - I had NO IDEA that so many people intentionally pee in pools. Honestly it makes me hesitant to do public pools for awhile. I have been swimming for 40 years and can honestly say that I have NEVER (except for maybe not getting out quick enough when I was 3 years old) peed in a pool. I thought everyone, at least every ADULT, was the same. Can I just say - what has become of society when adults are too lazy to find a toilet?

As for OP - I think I would have handled it the same way and would gladly have handled the parent if he/she had words with me. It was handled appropriately - I obviously would tell him to either not pee where I am or not come into the hot tub.

One other note however....I always tell my kids that if you want to be in or right beside a pool then you are signing up to get splashed. Never understood people getting upset by that - you are in a POOL, of course you're going to get splashed. If my child was intentionally sending water toward other people that's one thing - but if they're just playing in the water - and splashing happens, I have no problem with that. When they complain about their sibling splashing them I always 'blame' the complainer - 'if you don't want to get wet, don't get in the pool'.

This whole thread makes me cringe and honestly a bit disappointed in our species - IF many of the posters are right and 'a lot' of people intentionally pee in pools.

 

[meredith1]

Frankly, this is the exact reason I avoid public swimming pools....

It happens and there isn't a dang thing you can do about it. If the kid
hadn't announced it, you would have never known. Frankly, I'm sure more adults do it than you would care to know about. Public pools are cesspools.

I wouldn't have said anything given the situation but, I wouldn't have been in the pool in the first place....yuck!

 

[OurBigTrip]

I love how "it takes a village" when it comes to helping/teaching/being kind to other people's children, but when it comes to some slight discipline it's all "don't talk to my kid!"

Guess what, if your kid is doing something objectionable around me and MY kids, I will darn well tell him/her to stop without searching around for a parent/guardian. If the child can't handle being told to stop an objectionable behavior by someone other than a parent, then I fear for them in future life.

So if your kids lose their loveys at the resort because they left it in the bed, and are screaming and crying and whining in line about it, disturbing my family, you wouldn't have a problem with me telling them to knock it off and suck it up?

 

[brymolmom]

While such behavior is generally frowned upon and from what you have said it sounds as if the children may have needed some discipline, I strongly feel that you were beyond inappropriate to take it in to your hands to discipline someone else child!


There are many problems with what you did.

1} You should have approached the father quietly and politely if it indeed disturbs you that much. It's up to them to do the correcting.

2} You put your own assumptions and judgments on a situation that you don't have an ability to see the whole picture on. You ASSUMED the kid was about 5. I know a lot of kids that are tall for their age and are advanced in some of their development. This causes others to assume the kid is older then they are. It is very possible that the kid was younger then 5 and was in the process of potty training. You never know.



I know this as a parent, if you had done that to MY DAUGHTER words would have been exchanged once my daughter was removed from the situation. I might have even just gone to management and let them deal with you.

Unless the situation is of life and death importance where even a second could mean the difference between tragedy and being alright you should always take it to the parents and not speak to the child.

Guessing that management would side with the OP...there is no rule about speaking with other guests...But there are rules about kids who are not fully trained needing to wear swim diapers in the pools. I would have happily allowed you to go to management.

 

[superdisneydork]

So if your kids lose their loveys at the resort because they left it in the bed, and are screaming and crying and whining in line about it, disturbing my family, you wouldn't have a problem with me telling them to knock it off and suck it up?

I'd be embarrassed you had to, and if I was really lapsing in my parenting that much, you'd have every right to tell them to knock it off.

Matt

 

[OurBigTrip]

I'd be embarrassed you had to, and if I was really lapsing in my parenting that much, you'd have every right to tell them to knock it off.

Matt

The difference is, I wouldn't say anything, because it isn't my child, and it isn't my place to correct them.

 

[maxiesmom]

The difference is, I wouldn't say anything, because it isn't my child, and it isn't my place to correct them.

If I knew the kid had already been peeing in the pool and the parent's didn't care, and then they were coming into the hot tub with me, you can bet I would say something. I would say it nicely, but I would say something. If the parent won't correct them then somebody need to.

 

[delilah]

I've read at least twice on this thread people saying urine is sterile.

Where is this info coming from?

Well, unless the person has urosepsis, they have less bacteria in their urine than they do on their skin. Usually, urinary tract infections, like cystitis, for example, are caused by contamination of the urinary tract by bacteria (like E. coli, Enterococcus, Staph) that are on that little strip of skin between the legs and running forward from the base of your spine. The source is your bowel, and unless you sterilize the area after your morning constitutional, you probably have millions of the little buggers there. So, there is lots of bacteria in the pool from the skin of people who have normal, good hygiene. Technically, the urine may not be "sterile", but the bacteria is from the skin. Drinking pool water is as unappetizing to me as drinking urine.

 

[superdisneydork]

The difference is, I wouldn't say anything, because it isn't my child, and it isn't my place to correct them.

I think if you're taking your child out to a place that isn't your private home space, you better be prepared to be a parent, and I don't think it's out of line for anyone sharing that space with you to step up if you didn't. This boy's parents were not doing their job, and it's not the OPs problem to just suck it up. The kid hopefully learned a lesson out of it, I sincerely doubt there is going to be some lasting trauma from being called out for misbehaving.

Matt

 

[AndreaA]

So if your kids lose their loveys at the resort because they left it in the bed, and are screaming and crying and whining in line about it, disturbing my family, you wouldn't have a problem with me telling them to knock it off and suck it up?

Do you really not see the difference between trying to "discipline" a child who has done nothing wrong and is simply upset, and speaking up to a child who has BROKEN A BASIC RULE OF CIVILITY? Really? Good grief. I fear for our entire society.

 

[meredith1]

My qualifier (lol)-I have my masters degree in education, have 12+ yrs experience in teaching and waited late in life to have children.

I like to think that I know how to parent my children, I do my best to make sure that they are polite and don't disturb others. However, I'm sure there are times that I have overlooked a behavior that I'm used to and it takes someone else back.

If a stranger approached my child and said anything unkind I would probably lose my marbles. With that said, I have given my "teacher look" to children and they have gone running. lol-

As far as it takes a village-yes, teachers, parents and the people who are helping the children to grow and mature should share responsibility but, a stranger-no stinking way. You better not do it to my kids. I won't deal with you, the security that I call will.

ETA-You guys need to remember that you have no idea what kind of child you may be dealing with-I really hope this is just some big talk about how you would do this and that to a child that you don't even know....

 

[AndreaA]

As far as it takes a village-yes, teachers, parents and the people who are helping the children to grow and mature should responsibility but, a stranger-no stinking way. You better not do it to my kids. I won't deal with you, the security that I call will.

You really think security would side with you and your misbehaving child over the patron who was disturbed by him/her and had the "audacity" to actually say something about it? The OP wasn't "unkind", she simply plainly stated that she didn't want a child who had urinated in the pool to go into the hot tub and do the same thing.

 

[catra121]

While such behavior is generally frowned upon and from what you have said it sounds as if the children may have needed some discipline, I strongly feel that you were beyond inappropriate to take it in to your hands to discipline someone else child!


There are many problems with what you did.

1} You should have approached the father quietly and politely if it indeed disturbs you that much. It's up to them to do the correcting.

2} You put your own assumptions and judgments on a situation that you don't have an ability to see the whole picture on. You ASSUMED the kid was about 5. I know a lot of kids that are tall for their age and are advanced in some of their development. This causes others to assume the kid is older then they are. It is very possible that the kid was younger then 5 and was in the process of potty training. You never know.



I know this as a parent, if you had done that to MY DAUGHTER words would have been exchanged once my daughter was removed from the situation. I might have even just gone to management and let them deal with you.


Unless the situation is of life and death importance where even a second could mean the difference between tragedy and being alright you should always take it to the parents and not speak to the child.

I guess I fail to see how the OP "disciplined" the child. OP stated a fact: I heard you say you peed in the pool. Then said: There is no peeing in this pool. It is not allowed.

The child wasn't even scolded...OP did not say, "You are disgusting and a bad child." Nothing along the lines of that. OP did not say, "You need to be punished for what your did." Heck...OP did not even say, "You cannot come in here." All OP did was state a fact. If stating FACTS is now considered a form of "discipline" then I find that incredibly concerning. If kids can not handle hearing someone else say what they did...then they are in for a rough life.

 

[meredith1]

You really think security would side with you and your misbehaving child over the patron who was disturbed by you and had the "audacity" to actually say something about it? The OP wasn't "unkind", she simply plainly stated that she didn't want a child who had urinated in the pool to go into the hot tub and do the same thing.

If a stranger said something to my child that was inappropriate, yes, I would place a phone call to deal with the situation so that, I didn't escalate the issue. I'm not sure I know anyone who wouldn't.

....and I wouldn't have made issue with the OP-I would have made my kid apologize. I am saying in general with some of the replies that have the attitude that they will "parent your kid, if you don't" attitude.

 

[ZehnJahren]

I love this topic, and the varied answers.

I cannot believe how many posters are saying the OP had no right to say anything!

IMO, that kid was crying because he felt ashamed that not only had he peed in the pool, but that GRANDPA knew he'd lied about it. And from the rest of the story, it appears GRANDPA knew that wasn't right, and apologized for the boy. The boy lied, got caught, and cried over it. While you don't want shame and guilt to override your life, it is extremely useful in teaching situations and is probably one of the greatest motivators for learning that we have in our lives as children. How many times did you tell your toddler "not to bite Mommy, that hurts Mommy" when they were in that biting stage? You were trying to guilt them out of the behavior, and eventually (God willing) it worked. "You're not doing your best work when you get a C in math, Junior" - guilt and shame, what a combination. And a WINNING combination.

Here, the child was a little older than the toddler stage, and was engaging in behavior that needed to be corrected. The OP wasn't going to stand for urine in the "little pool" of the hot tub and had already been chased out of one pool, and the kid and his family clearly didn't care. He had every right to correct this boy, and it's sad that he had to - but he DID have to, because respect for others is one of the first lessons that should be learned, and one of the first things that we TRY to teach children. "Don't bite, share, don't pull hair, give that toy back" - but once kids reach an older age, some parents just stop teaching that simple respect. It's ok to send your kids off to school and have nothing to do with them for 7 hours a day - all the while, the teacher is correcting, instructing, and molding your children - but when another adult puts their foot down, it's not allowed?

Kudos, OP. I'd have done the same thing in your situation, and had the parents "freaked out" and went and got management , I would have told them what happened and NOTHING would have happened to me from management. Maybe the kid will think twice about acceptable behavior in the future - or even twice about lying while Grandpa is around, which hurts no one!