MeanLaureen
<font color=purple>Slam Dancer Extraordinaire<br><
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2001
- Messages
- 6,718
Green Garden Grass snakes can be dangerous, Yes, grass
snakes, not rattlesnakes. A couple in Sweetwater,
Texas had a lot of potted plants, and during a recent
cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them
indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. It
turned out that a little green garden grass snake was
hidden in one of the plants and when it had warmed up,
it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the
sofa.
She let out a very loud scream.
The husband who was taking a shower ran out into the
living room naked to see what the problem was. She
told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down
on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it.
About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed his
rear end.
He thought the snake had bitten him and he fainted.
His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she called
an ambulance. The attendants rushed in and loaded him
on the stretcher and started carrying him out.
About that time the snake came out from under the sofa
and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and
dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man
broke his leg and why he is in the hospital.
The wife still had the problem of the snake in the
house, so she called on a neighbor man. He volunteered
to capture the snake. He armed himself with a
rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.
Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who
sat down on the sofa in relief. But in relaxing, her
hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt
the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted,
the snake rushed back under the sofa, and the neighbor
man, seeing her laying there passed out tried to use
CPR to revive her.
The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from
shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth
on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the
back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking
him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it
needed stitches. An ambulance was again called and it
was determined that the injury required
hospitalization.
The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she
saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife
bending over him, so she assumed he had been bitten by
the snake. She went to the kitchen, brought back a
small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the
man's throat.
By now the police had arrived. They saw the
unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that
a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to
arrest them all, when the two women tried to explain
how it all happened over a little green snake. They
called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and
his sobbing wife.
Just then the little snake crawled out from under the
couch, One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at
it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end
table that was on one side of the sofa. The table fell
over and the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb
broke, it started a fire in the drapes. The other
policeman tried to beat out the flames and fell
through the window into the yard on top of the family
dog, who startled, jumped up and raced out into the
street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and
smashed into the parked police car and set it on fire.
Meanwhile the burning drapes had spread to the walls
and the entire house was blazing. Neighbors had called
the fire department and the arriving fire-truck had
started raising his ladder as they were halfway down
the street.
The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put
out the electricity and disconnected the telephones in
a ten-square city block area.
Time passed . . .
Both men were discharged from the hospital, The house
was re-built,
The police acquired a new car, and all was right with
their world . . .
About a year later they were watching TV and the
weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The
husband asked his wife if she thought they should
bring in their plants for the night.
She shot him.
snakes, not rattlesnakes. A couple in Sweetwater,
Texas had a lot of potted plants, and during a recent
cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them
indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. It
turned out that a little green garden grass snake was
hidden in one of the plants and when it had warmed up,
it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the
sofa.
She let out a very loud scream.
The husband who was taking a shower ran out into the
living room naked to see what the problem was. She
told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down
on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it.
About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed his
rear end.
He thought the snake had bitten him and he fainted.
His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she called
an ambulance. The attendants rushed in and loaded him
on the stretcher and started carrying him out.
About that time the snake came out from under the sofa
and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and
dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man
broke his leg and why he is in the hospital.
The wife still had the problem of the snake in the
house, so she called on a neighbor man. He volunteered
to capture the snake. He armed himself with a
rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.
Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who
sat down on the sofa in relief. But in relaxing, her
hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt
the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted,
the snake rushed back under the sofa, and the neighbor
man, seeing her laying there passed out tried to use
CPR to revive her.
The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from
shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth
on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the
back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking
him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it
needed stitches. An ambulance was again called and it
was determined that the injury required
hospitalization.
The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she
saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife
bending over him, so she assumed he had been bitten by
the snake. She went to the kitchen, brought back a
small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the
man's throat.
By now the police had arrived. They saw the
unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that
a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to
arrest them all, when the two women tried to explain
how it all happened over a little green snake. They
called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and
his sobbing wife.
Just then the little snake crawled out from under the
couch, One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at
it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end
table that was on one side of the sofa. The table fell
over and the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb
broke, it started a fire in the drapes. The other
policeman tried to beat out the flames and fell
through the window into the yard on top of the family
dog, who startled, jumped up and raced out into the
street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and
smashed into the parked police car and set it on fire.
Meanwhile the burning drapes had spread to the walls
and the entire house was blazing. Neighbors had called
the fire department and the arriving fire-truck had
started raising his ladder as they were halfway down
the street.
The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put
out the electricity and disconnected the telephones in
a ten-square city block area.
Time passed . . .
Both men were discharged from the hospital, The house
was re-built,
The police acquired a new car, and all was right with
their world . . .
About a year later they were watching TV and the
weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The
husband asked his wife if she thought they should
bring in their plants for the night.
She shot him.
I hate snakes. That was a good hook to get me to read this story!! 
