Lisa's Journal (Life on the "Beach" - Part 2 all the way to goal!)

[ZerasPride]

Amanda - what a sweetie you are!!!!! So you've tried the Heroine wings already? I appreciate hearing how good they are. Thanks so much for offering to share that lotion with me. I'll let you know, sooner than later if I want to try it. I'll definitely pick up some regular firming lotion and try that first (it's probaby way cheaper than the product you're talking about). Thanks so much for the encouragement. I'm driving myself crazy trying to figure out ways to tweak my diet and exercise so I can get to the 71 pound mark. That would mean that I'm half way through my journey. It's not that I want it over so bad but I really do want to speed things up a bit. A lady on the other site I frequent started a month after me (our stats are identical) and she already has lost 70 pounds. I wanna be where she is!!! I know I shouldn't compare myself and you've helped me to see that. I have come a long way. I have lost quite a bit of weight. More weight frankly than I ever thought I could. I will get to my goal. I don't have to drive myself crazy or stress myself out trying to do so. Thanks for being such a great friend!!!!

P.S. I'm glad you liked my trip report! Thanks for reading it.

 

[septbride2002]

Lisa,
Is this other woman doing as much weight training as you are? Remember you are building muscle which weighs more then fat!

Heroin wings are very very addicting especially if you are a parmesean cheese fan - like myself.

~Amanda

 

[toystoryduo]

Lisa,
Hi there! I haven't had a chance to catch up on your journal yet, but I just wanted to stop by and thank you for what you said on the FIRM thread yesterday about exercise sometimes being something we just have to do.

Yesterday, I really struggled with working out. I spent an hour going back and forth in my mind about, "Do I want to exercise? Do I want today to be a rest day?" And I felt guilty for not feeling motivated to exercise!

Your post helped me to put things in perspective. Exercise is a way of life for me now and is just something that needs to be done. I may not be jumping for joy at the thought of working out, but I always feel better after I do.

So, thank you Lisa. Your words and your example have been such an inspiration to me on my journey and I know that they have helped others too. Thanks!

Have a wonderful Thursday!
Tracy

 

[ZerasPride]

June 23, 2004 (Wednesday) Day 207 on the Beach

Today is a brand new day for me in more ways than one. Yes, there is the obvious "new day" of yesterday being gone and today being the start of a new 24 hour period. But, I'm talking new day as in starting a brand new chapter in my weight loss saga. I have given myself permission to take the expiration date off my weight loss process. I have been so subconciously obsessed with dates and figures and the "big picture" that have let split one of the fundamentals of weight loss. KISS (keep it simple sweetie). I have started to make this process so complicated and set up so many rules for myself under the guise of "this is no longer a diet but a way of life" mantra. Yes that statement is true. This is just how I live now. But I've become so fixated on the scale and on how much weight I haven't lost yet that I am no longer enjoying this journey. Instead I am scrutinizing everything I eat and beating myself up if I take 1 rest day per week from exercising.

There was a time when I didn't exercise for years at a time and here I am obsessing and fretting over whether I should give my poor aching body a break 1 day a week! So no more expiration dates! I am not a failure if I don't get to the half way mark by some arbitrarily contrived date! I am a success for all I have accomplished so far. I haven't only lost 65.5 pounds. I have lost 65.5 pounds! I have completed two separate 100 day cheat free challenges! I work out 6 days per week! I have gone from a size 26 pants to a size 16! These things are not flukes and they didn't happen by accident. They were a direct result of my doing what I have to do on a daily basis. I have totally lost sight that that is what this journey is about. Doing what I need to do on a daily basis and then as a result I will have success. I can't "wish" or "hope" or even "tweak" success into happening. It occurs when I stay OP (exercise, eating right, drinking water and positive self talk).

Yes, positive self talk is vital. It's how I came to this conclusion that's time to take the expiration date off this weight loss process. I was in the tub and decided to check in with myself to see how I was doing because something was bothering me and I couldn't put my finger on it. I thought maybe this rate of weight loss was scaring me or that the fact that I can look in the mirror sometimes and almost not recognize myself was making me frightened emotionally. Those things weren't it. I'm stronger emotionally now than I have probably ever been in my life. I realized the problem stemmed from all the pressure I was putting on myself and the pressure I feel sometimes when people compliment me and ask me how much weight I have lost.

I realized that subconsciously I was slowly beginning to sabotage myself. My portions (at dinner) have gotten larger and I am beginning to feel addicted to my ice cream for dessert. When I think about skipping it, I get all antsy and nervous. I drink a lot of water during the day but it has slowed down considerably at night. So with some serious soul searching I came to the above-mentioned conclusions.

As a solution, I am giving myself permission to lose this weight when my body and mind are ready. I don't have to starve myself (but I don't have to eat like a pig either). I don't have to work out like a fiend seven days per week (unless I truly really want to). All I have to is what I have done in the past six plus months, start taking this journey one day at a time again and the weight will come off when it comes off. This is so freeing! I instantly felt so much better. The burden has been lifted from me. I no longer have to look at this weight loss journey like a quart of milk in the fridge that I have to hurry up and drink before it spoils. There is no hurry. I plan to be thin and healthy for the rest of my life. This is no race. I'm not in competition with anyone else. Not even with myself!

Sorry this was so long but it's such a revelation for me that I wanted to make sure I got it all down.

Menu for today:
B: 2 scrambled eggs with a sprinkle of cheddar cheese, 3 slices of bacon and 1/2 bowl of whole wheat cereal with 1% milk
S: Dannon light and fit pech yogurt (4 oz.)
L: tuna salad with 8 or 9 whole wheat crackers and a peach
S: cherries
D: 2 chicken wings fried in canola oil and dusted with whole wheat flour before frying with 1/2 cup of long grain converted rice with mushroom sauce and 1/2 cup of n/s/a ice cream for dessert

Exercise and Water Gauge:
I did FIRM cardio sculpt blaster for my work out today. Water level was a 5.50. Very good!

That's a wrap for Wednesday!

Amanda - what a good point you brought out! I have no idea of that other woman is or was exercising at all. I don't see her name pop up on the exercise threads so she might not be. For all I know (depending on our heights) I could be in a smaller size than her. But as you can read above, I am really coming to terms with not comparing myself to others. It's funny, I want to compare myself in a negative way to someone that has lost more but I don't think to myself of someone that has lost less, that I wish that could be me! I am a fan of parmesan cheese so I can't wait to give these wings a try!

Tracy - I'm so glad that I could help you get your motivation for exercise! I thought that post on the other board was too good not to share here. All we have to do is "just do it". You are doing such a fine job, sweetie, and your example motivates me so much! Have a great Thursday and enjoy this nice weather (while it lasts)!

 

[LAinSEA]

Lisa:

You are so right about this not being about a diet and losing weight. This is about a way of life and being healthy and fit.

You have had incredible success so far and will continue to have great success because of your commitment to yourself.

You are more than what you weigh. You are an amazing, strong, generous woman. And you will remain that even when your scale says 115 lbs!

-Laurie

 

[ZerasPride]

June 24, 2004 (Thursday) Day 208 on the Beach

After yesterday's long and winded post, I thought I'd give everyone a break and just make it short and sweet today! Today makes 4 straight days of being weigh free!

Here's my menu:
B: 1/2 bowl of whole wheat flakes and 2 small sausage patties
S: Dannon light and fit strawberry 4 oz. yogurt
L: leftover beef stroganoff over 1/2 cup of long grain converted rice with a peach
S: 8 whole small almonds
D: bacon egg sandwich (4 slices of bacon with 3 scrambled eggs with a slice of low fat cheese on 2 slices of toasted whole wheat bread with simply fruit strawberry spread) and a 1/2 glass of 1% milk

Not the healthiest dinner but I was starved and it was close to 10:00 before I ate. I thought to myself I could stop for yucky fast food or I could make some "comfort" food. For me breakfast food is comfort food and it was a great tasting sandwich!

Exercise and Water Gauge:
I took a rest day today. Tomorrow will be FIRM super body sculpt. Water level was 5.50. I've been pretty consistent this week with the water. That's good.

That's a wrap for Thursday!

Laurie - thanks so much for the support! You are right that we are so much more than what a scale says. I am trying to convince myself that I am so much more than a number on a scale. I don't think I'll ever weigh 115 pounds but you are so sweet to encourage me! Have a great weekend!!!!

 

[wilderness01]

Lisa,

I agree with everything you said and said so well! You will do it and continue to be healthy. You have so much to be proud of. I know things often do not happen to us as fast as we would want, but that is ok. Slow and steady wins the race. Have a great weekend.

 

[Castillo Mom]

Hi Lisa! Dropped by to say a quick hello and give some encouragement. Don't worry about that scale, ok? Trust me, that thing will mess with your head from time to time, I know because I've experienced it myself. You just have to keep going and keep your eye on your goal, stay on that path! Have a good weekend sweetie!

 

[ZerasPride]

June 25, 2004 (Friday) Day 209 on the Beach

Here's Friday's menu and exercise:

B: 1/2 bowl of whole wheat cereal, 2 scrambled eggs with a slice of low fat cheese and 2 small sausage patties
S: Dannon light and fit 4 oz. peach yogurt
L: tuna salad with 8 whole wheat crackers and a peach
S: peach
D: Philly cheesesteak on lc wrap or on a bed of lettuce with low fat cheese, mushrooms and onions with 1/2 cup of n/s/a ice cream for dessert

I really enjoyed the Philly wrap but I think I it's more appropriate for maintenance than for the weight loss process. This ended up being not a very good week weigh in wise for me and this sandwich may have been a contributing factor.

Exercise and Water Gauge:
I did FIRM super body sculpt (upper and lower) this morning for my work out. Water level is a 5.50.

That's a wrap for Friday!

wilderness and Lisa - thanks so much for stopping by and encouraging me. I'm a bit down now but I'm trying to fight the negative feelings. No one ever said this journey was easy, some days this journey seems almost effortless and some days it's a real struggle. Fortunately, I don't have too many days of feeling like I do right now. Both of you take care!

 

[ZerasPride]

June 26, 2004 (Saturday) Day 210 on the Beach

I had a very busy and active day today. It all started with working out with a new FIRM work out called calorie killer. I was a bit nervous about it because my FIRM friend that bought us both copies said she watched it and it was too hard for her. Thanks to some encouragement from some of my WISH sisters, I gave it a try this morning and I'm so glad I did! It was a hard 45 minute work out but I love it and am adding it to my work out rotation permanently on Saturday mornings.

After working out and having some breakfast I headed to my place of worship to help paint the large fence that surrounds the building. It was hard and strenuous work. I worked for about 3 hours non-stop. Then some us adults took a bunch of the teens downtown to our local shopping center and we walked around talking and shopping for about 5 hours. I was wiped out! But the kids had a good time and so did my son so it was definitely worth it!!

I tried on some jeans at Lane Bryant while we were downtown. I knew I could get into the size 16's no problem but I was thrilled that I could get into the size 14 stretch jeans. They were tight but I could bend over in them. I was so happy. I just knew I'd see a loss on the scale on Sunday morning.

Weight loss:
This is the very first week that I have not only not losed any weight but I have actually gained 1/2 pound! I know I could eat less whole grains and watched my dessert with the n/s/a ice cream. My portions at dinner could be a little more modest as well. But to gain 1/2 pound. It just doesn't make sense to me. It's not like I'm eating chicken mcnuggets and french fries. The only two things I can figure are that (1) it's been close to 8 months that I've been on this program and I've got to get very strict and fight for every pound from this point on, the easy ride is over; and/or (2) I've upped my exercise program by adding two "super" work outs to my rotation plus a new "killer" work out. Maybe these routines are causing me to replace the fat with muscle pound for pound and that's why I'm not seeing a loss. It's just this is the first time this has happened and it's making me doubt myself. I guess I had fooled myself into thinking that I would have a loss every week and not go through any of the stalls or gains that I know are common in just about everyone's weight loss efforts.

I know I shouldn't beat myself up over this. I know this is common. There might be things I can do to help my weight loss along and maybe once my body adjusts to this new exercise routine, the weight loss will start again. I'm just unsure of where to go from here. I don't mean to be so down, I just honestly don't know what to do. I know I don't want to gain the weight back I've lost so far so I'm not quitting. What makes this so confusing is that I fit into jeans that are the smallest I have worn since I was a teenaged girl. Makes no sense to me at all.

I have lost 7 inches over the last 30 days which brings my total inches lost to almost 60 and that's an accomplishment I should be proud of. Anyway, that's about it.

Exercise/Water Gauge:
I did FIRM Calorie Killer with Nancy Tucker this morning. Water level was a 4.0.

That's a wrap for Saturday!

 

[DoeWDW]

Lisa, those "doubtful days" can be so hard to work through! Please know that you are doing great with your eating, exercising, water and healthy living attitude! Stay focused on doing what is healthy for your body - the weight loss is just a very nice side effect of treating your body with the love and respect it deserves.

Congratulations on your latest clippie!! 65 pounds is amazing! You've come so far and adopted so many healthy habits!

 

[AuroraluvsPhillip]

Hey Lisa,

You sound like you are doing great, especially in the clothing dept., squeezing into 14's...I think pitching the scale for a month will be helpful, just focus on the daily eating and exercising. I agree with you...we have our whole lives to be healthy and thin. We need to focus on the journey, not the journey's end, otherwise we are missing out on the many joys of our lives. Life is about joys and sorrows, so the scale won't always go in our favorite direction. We need to be strong enough to accept this, and not give up. I know you are a healthy, strong individual, Lisa. I can tell by your food diary, and by the workouts you are doing. Think of all the activities you can do easily now, as opposed to when you started your journey. Housework, stairs, carrying bundles...I bet there is a real difference in your strength and stamina. Those are so important as we women age! We don't want to end up limiting our activities as we age...we don't want to end up helpless, not able to climb stairs, get in and out of the bathtub, or go out for a nice walk on the beach...what you are doing now is more than just about fitting into a certain size clothing...it's about adding years to your life and life to your years..

Boy, I sure rambled on there. Hope it helps. I think a 65 pound clippie deserves to be celebrated...but we are much more than our weight as someone else said.

Hope you have a great week Lisa!

 

[wilderness01]

You are gaining muscle. That always weighs more than fat. I know it is very easy to get down when there is no loss, I do that myself, but it is a MAJOR accomplishment for you that you have lost so many inches and can now fit in smaller sizes. Be very proud of yourself!

 

[septbride2002]

I have one word for you - MUSCLE! You are gaining muscle mass my friend! If you are going down another size yet the scale has moved up that is a definite sign of Muscle mass. This is something to celebrate and not worry about.

Not to mention - you are working out very strenuously (which is great) but your body is starting to level out. As I said before you do not have as much fat for your body to burn. And even though you may still feel like there is a lot there to lose your body is use to running on a certain amount of energy everyday. Now that it's supply is shortening and your workout have remained the same your body is going to start leveling out and may even try to hold on to some of the extra fat for a reserve. We are creatures of habit including our biology. You may need to lessen the grains and up the fats in your diet for a bit to get over the hump. You may also find that you need to take a break from exercising. I hate to jinx you but you may be running into your first plateau - and there are ways around it - just don't get frustrated, don't punish yourself, and don't go to any extreme to get through the plateau.

We are here for you - we understand! Have a great day and don't worry about the scale!

~Amanda

 

[ZerasPride]

June 27, 2004 (Sunday) Day 211 on the Beach

Today was a crash and burn type day! It started off bad and just got worse for me emotionally. I was fixated on this stupid 1/2 pound gain. I hate when I get stuck in a negative mode but I just couldn't bring myself out of it no matter what I did. I wore my prettiest outfit to morning worship and got many nice compliments. All I could think of was how horribly, disfiguringly fat I am and will always be. I know this isn't true but it's how I felt. I even sabotaged myself at dinner. I ate way too much pasta and even had my usual dessert even though I was full. Not a good thing.

I did resolve to get back on the stick on Monday (today) and I'm ready to fight these last 70 pounds and get them off!!!!

Here is a listing of what I intend to do daily to help reach my goal:
1) Exercise
2) Drink my water - 80 to 120 ounces per day
3) Watch my portion sizes and the grains I eat (breakfast like a king, lunch like a price and dinner like a pauper)
4) Positive self-talk whenever I feel Negative Nelly creeping around; and
5) Stay away from the desserts! I think along with too many whole grains, eating dessert every night is damaging. I'm limiting it to one night per week

I hope by implementing these things I can get my focus back. I remember reading a thread on the other lc board I frequent and the question was asked "how bad do you want it?" I stopped wanting it bad during the month of June. As we go into the month of July, I'm determined to get my fire going again. How bad do I want it? I want it real bad! Bad enough to give up the whole grain pasta and sugar free treats. Bad enough to exercise my tail off with my "super" work outs. Bad enough that I'm willing to do whatever I have to do (safely of course) to get to my goal! Enough of this tap dancing around it! It's time for decisive action!!!

Here's today's menu:
B: 2 slices of whole wheat bread with simply fruit spread, 3 scrambled eggs with a slice of lf cheese and 3 slices of bacon
S: no morning snack
L: McDonald's bacon ranch salad and some cherries
S: 1 bit of a sugar free peanut butter cup (very rich and I frankly wish I hadn't bought these things
D: shrimp alfredo over whole wheat linguine with 1/2 cup of n/s/a ice cream for dessert

Exercise and Water Gauge:
I did FIRM super cardio sculpt this morning for my exercise. Water level is a 4.5. Pretty good for a weekend!

That's a wrap for Sunday!

Doe - thanks so much for your encouraging words. I know that weight loss is just one side affect of treating my body right. I wouldn't want anyone to abuse me emotionally so I can't start abusing myself physically again with food.

AuroraluvsPhillip - Thank you so much for stopping by to encourage me. I was feeling so down and my WISH friends have come to my rescue as usual. I can't wait for the stay off the scale challenge to start. You are so right that we more than what we weigh. I'll have to keep telling myself that!

Amanda - Your words of wisdom, encouragement and advice have come just at the right time for me. I needed to hear some words that will help kick my butt into action! I have never experienced a plateau and thought I never would. Foolish of me I know. The first 60 pounds literally just melted off me. Not effortlessly but almost. Now I feel like I'm fighting my body, just like you said for each and every pound. This is getting tough but I have to brace up to the challenge if I want to reach my goal. I am going to knock out some of the grains for a while. I've already talked to hubby and he's for it. I'll also up my fat like you suggested. And most importantly, I'm going to try not to get discouraged. About the exercise, I hate to give it up but maybe I'm working out too much or too intensely. That's something to think about. I appreciate what you said about the muscle mass too. It was so confusing to me to fit into a smaller size yet be up 1/2 pound. Thanks so much for giving me your opinion. I really do value what you say!

 

[AuroraluvsPhillip]

Hey Lisa!
I need you to do something, you so-called fat person...
Get out some photo of you before you started your journey, you know before you lost about 70 pounds...and look at it please??
Or try on some old pants from your previous life???
And then please look in the mirror and realize how great you look RIGHT NOW and how much healthier and stronger you feel??
That a plateau now and then is not a sign of failure or doing something wrong, it's your amazing body, taking a brief pause in its weight loss journey...your body needs to adjust to the stresses you put on it, changing metabolism, cellular repair, muscle growth...it sometimes takes time...trust your body and its marvelous processes. You are taking great care of the only body you have...be nice to it...don't get mad at it and call it fat...it's not! Just be patient...you have the rest of your life to do this...

On a lighter note, I guess that "Throw Away the Scale" challenge can't come soon enough, huh??

Have a great week!
Jean

 

[ZerasPride]

Hi Jean!

Thanks so much for the encouragement! It's funny you mention trying on old clothes. I put on a pair of size 22 jeans I had in the back of my closet. They were my "someday" jeans. I just knew that "someday" I'd fit into them. That day never came. Once I finally got serious about losing weight, I blew right past size 22's and the tags are still on those jeans too! I put them on just the other day sort like a see how far I have come and I couldn't believe I could get them on. My last recollection of them was struggling to get them up past my thighs and having to stop after my knees because they weren't going up any further. Now I could probably get a small child inside those jeans with me.

My sister just told me last night (when I was whining to her about all this) that she found some old pics of me from a year ago and that she knew I had lost a lot of weight but didn't realize how much until she looked at that picture.

You are so right that I have no need to beat myself up. I'll get to my destination, when I get there. I keep saying that I've taken the expiration date off this weight loss process and I've got to mean it. I've abused my body for over 20 years and I can't expect it to just pop back into shape in 7 months.

Thanks so much for making so much sense. I feel the clouds lifting and know that it's partly from having a WISH-sis like you!

 

[DoeWDW]

How wise Jean's words of wisdom are!!

I'm glad you're feeling better, Lisa! There is only one word to describe your healthy living journey so far - SUCCESS!! You have inspired so many people! We all have those days when we're not sure, when we feel down, when we wonder if all this work is worth it. One of the best parts of being on this board is that we see each other through those times. We realize we're not alone.

You've got us all walking beside you, Lisa. When the going gets tough, and you know it will, we're here for you to lean on, just as you are there for us through our tough times.

I'm wishing you peace and contentment today. Know that you are wonderful and special and successful right now, just the way you are!

 

[ZerasPride]

June 28, 2004 (Monday) Day 212 on the Beach

I am feeling better each day and coming to terms with this weight loss process that there will likely be weeks from this point on that I stay the same or even see a slight gain. I am ready, willing and able to fight to get to where I want to be and realize that the weight will no longer be just "melting" off me. I have to work for each pound!

Here's today's menu:
B: 2 scrambled eggs with a slice of low fat cheese, 2 small sausage patties and 1/2 bowl of whole wheat cereal
S: Dannon light and fit peach yogurt (4 oz.)
L: tuna salad with a peach
S: cherries
D: mock french toast with sugar free syrup, 2 small sausage patties and 1/2 glass of 1% milk - no dessert

Exercise and Water Gauge:
I did FIRM cardio sculpt blaster this morning and I hope to do 30-30 minutes of BSS1 cardio sculpt this evening. Two FIRM work outs in one day. Woohoo!!!!

Status of daily goals:
1) Exercise - I did two FIRM work outs today;
2) Drink my water (80 to 120 ounces per day) - I drank somewhere between 100-120 ounces of water today;
3) Watch my portion sizes and the grains I eat (breakfast like a king, lunch like a price and dinner like a pauper) - I had a light dinner and ate until satisfied and not stuffed today;
4) Positive self-talk whenever I feel Negative Nelly creeping around - whenever I thought about that stupid 1/2 pound I just kept telling myself about the progress I have made so far and fitting into those size 14 LB jeans;
5) Stay away from the desserts - I did not have dessert tonight.

That's a wrap for Monday!

 

[septbride2002]

Oh. My. God!

Your Shrimp Alfredo is amazing! I made it tonight and almost cried it was so good! I did add mushrooms to it and poured it over broccoli - it tasted just like Pasta Con Broccoli from my favorite resturant (plus shrimp!) It was so tasty I saved the extra sauce so I can make it again tomorrow! And it was so easy to make too!

THANK YOU!

~Amanda