April 20, 2004 (Tuesday) Day 142 on the Beach
I have to share something I did this weekend. I was in the grocery store on Saturday afternoon picking up a few items and ended up in the dreaded ice cream freezer section.
I have been wanting to try one of the frozen ice cream treats that are either low carb or no sugar added but I have been a bit hesitant. You see ice cream and I have a long history. It's a bittersweet story where I end up gaining tons of weight and spending tons of money for several moments of pleasure. Definitely not worth it. Anyway, ice cream can be one of those trigger foods for me so I try to be careful.
I spotted the Klondike fudge bars. They are sugar free (sweetened with splenda) and went for them! Yes they are 90 calories each which is a little over what we are allowed for dessert on SBD but I convinced myself I wouldn't eat a whole one anyway so it would be okay. I put the box in my cart carefully looking around to make sure no one was watching me (what that was about, I couldn't tell you but I did glance around nervously). As I made my way to the check out counter I felt really guilty. Like I had just put a dozen donuts in my cart. I actually got out of line and put the box back. I marched to the check out counter and my heart began to pound and a voice inside my head ordered me back to get the treats. I found myself (out of line again) and my feet with a will of their own walking toward the freezers. Again, the box was in my cart and I was headed for the line. Again, with the voice in my head. This time it was "Put those things back, ice cream is keeping you fat!"
I know this sounds like the crazy musings of a crazy woman but this final time I put them back and slammed the glass freezer door with a determined grimace. I think I scared the lady examining the ice creams next to me.
The moral of my story is that I won! I didn't give in to the temptation. I know if I start down on the path of eating these ice cream treats I am setting myself up for a binge. You really do have to know thyself. I am allowed the no sugar added fudgesicles and I even eat the no sugar added ice cream (1/2 cup only and I never EVER finish the entire half cup) but I just knew instinctively that if I start buying those lc fudgey treats, it would feed the beast inside me that has finally gone to sleep and I don't want to wake him up for any reason!
PHew, I got that off my chest. One more victory down, and hopefully many more to come!!!!
Here's my menu for the day:
B: 1/2 bowl of whole wheat flakes with 1% milk and 3 slices of thin low sodium bacon
S: V8 juice and 5 whole almonds
L: tuna salad with an orange
S: Dannon light and fit 4 oz. peach yogurt
D: beef stroganoff over long grain converted rice with 1/2 cup of n/s/a ice cream for dessert
Exercise/Water Gauge:
I did FIRM Body Sculpt (lower body) for my work out this morning. I feel great! Water level was 5.0. Pretty good!
That's a wrap for Tuesday!
Amanda - you are such a sweetie! Encouraging and supporting each other on this boad is just a priceless experience. You say I inspire you well let me tell you, the feeling is mutual. It is a wonderful feeling to know I have friends like you who have my back when times get rough and to celebrate my small victories with me!
Auntmeme - thanks for giving me permission to accept the compliments. I don't know why but your words have soothed and calmed me today. Thanks!!!! I know I don't need anyone's permission to enjoy the compliments I receive but I have felt kind of guilty and a bit vain enjoying when someone notices my weight loss. You help me to see that there is nothing wrong with enjoying a nice compliment. I appreciate your support so much!
Carol - {{{hugs}}} to you my SBD buddie! I think our family's sometimes don't realize how they can hurt us with their comments. I'm sure they mean well with what they say but I think unless you've been heavy then you can't possibly know the loneliness, guilt, low self-esteem and other negative feelings that come with being overweight. I don't wish this on anyone, but it would be nice if people could understand a little bit better what we are going through and be more supportive. You are probably right to keep your weight loss efforts under wraps for a while. Of course, sooner or later (and I know it will be sooner), you wonderful results are going to show and then the cat will be out the bag and you'll have to learn to accept compliments with a gracious, "Thank you for noticing!"
I wish for you a wonderful day tomorrow and that nothing at all gets in your way of your dreams!
I knew you could do it! That is one bright new clippie! I am proud of you Lisa!
Your hard work and determination has brought you to this point and will take you to the weight you want to be. You are such an inspiration! 
Way to go Lisa!
Congrats on the little black dress too.
at the Grand Floridian, you will look like a 
I had a photo album and of course there was a picture of me when I weighed alot less. My Mom said "Oh, look here". I take everything waaay too personal! But it is personal to me. My sister is about 108 lbs. She acts like she doesn't notice whether I gain, but when I lose weight, she comments on how good I look! She also complains that her tummy or thighs are too big! It is hard for me to listen to her complain when she has nothing to complain about! I rarely say anything about my weight to her. I still haven't told her or my Mom that I am doing SB diet. I want to look at this like it's no big thing. This way, it will be easier to live each day, one by one. Okay...I guess this is too much steam to let out, but I wanted to share this with you.
I am still hesitant in going to phase 2. I will do as you say and ease into it. I can see that you really have it together!!! You continue to be at a place that I would like to be
Carol
